Candy Man (12 page)

Finn pulled back and panted, which was when Adam came to his senses. He dropped his arms and avoided Finn’s grim glare.

“This isn’t over,” Finn said seriously. “You and me. We’re as real as the sun and the river. Think about me.”

He turned and trotted away.

Adam stayed for a moment, taking deep breaths and trying to get his heartbeat under control. It wasn’t working. It was like all that laughter in the store really
had
made him more susceptible to happiness.

And the pain that came when it walked into the frosty dark.

Sunrise

T
WO
DAYS
later, Adam had filled half a brand-new sketchbook with pictures of Finn, and he was worried as hell about the damned dog.

Clopper, who nose-humped strangers and body-tackled friends, had apparently devoted his life to apathy and depression. He sat, listless, in a corner, head on his gray-and-white paws, eyes wandering the house looking for Gonzo, who had probably spent his days jumping on Clopper’s head for fun.

He’s lonely,
Adam texted to Rico.
He hasn’t eaten in three days. I’m worried.

Get him a friend.

Adam gaped. A… a….
A WHAT?

Go adopt another cat. That way, when I move back, I’ll get to know your cat like you got to know mine.

But Rico!

No—it’ll be good. We always shared toys when we were kids. We can share pets now.

You trust me to get you a cat?

Why not?

Adam flailed as he sat at the table and petted the depressed dog. Jesus, Rico had
been
there—they’d shared the same childhood, right?

Because I’m the loser?
he texted after his flail.

Shut up.

No, I mean—you heard the same shit I did!

I heard two bitter harpies blame all their fucking bullshit on an eight-year-old who would sooner hide under the bed than hurt a fly.

But I proved them right, didn’t I?

SHUT UP. Jesus, Adam. You served your fucking ungrateful country, you came out in that fucking house of bile. You’re the bravest person I know.

Adam thought of Finn and that moment by the river, when Adam hadn’t given him any hope at all.

I’m a coward
, he texted with feeling.

Then be brave. Come on, Adam—save Clopper’s life.

What if I pick wrong?

Gonzo was a fucking asshole cat who ruined my best shoes right before my first job interview.

He tried to kill me at least twice.

See? How much worse could your choice be?

Adam thought about Rico—shaved head, high cheekbones, full lips, and big brown Mexican-chocolatey eyes. He was everything Adam had wanted to be as a kid. His job in advertising seemed to make him so much more than Adam could reach for as an adult.

Suddenly getting Rico a cat and saving his dumbass dog’s life made him feel like, just in a little way, he could be as good as Rico.

It was Tuesday, which was apparently going to be his permanent day off, but he didn’t sleep in. Thanks to Rico, he had plans to make.

He dragged Clopper on his walk in the morning, taking him up the block to H and Twentieth, walking around the block and searching out the pretty houses, the ones with the rainbow trim around the windows and the bright Christmas-themed flags on the porch. Was that one Finn’s parents’? Was that one? Oh, hey, this was embarrassing, was it the violet/blue one
with Finn’s minivan parked in front of it
?

Abort! Abort! Abort! Friendlies on board! Finn was here!
Oh my God, Finn might see him
!

Adam was going to backpedal—he was. Two things stopped him.

One of them was Clopper, who could be turned right or turned left but could not, under any circumstances, be turned around to go the opposite direction.

The other was the text from his cousin. Rico thought he was brave.
Rico
thought he was brave. Finn thought he was worth it.

The least he could do was walk in front of Finn’s house!

And wave when Finn came galloping out, fleece hat falling off his head, one shoe in his hand, one bare foot and one stockinged foot mincing across the frosty sidewalk.

“Hello!” Finn gasped, chest heaving, eyes bright. He only had one arm in his bright blue coat—the rest of the coat flopped down behind his back. “What are—” Pant. “—you doing here?”

Adam had to laugh, and he slid the loop of Clopper’s nylon leash down his arm and grabbed the back of Finn’s coat.

“I actually just came wandering by,” he said, helping Finn find the arm and slide the quilted blue felt up his shoulders. Clopper, true to his recent depression, just sat, regarding them both with somber eyes. “I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“Yeah, well, my cousin came in from out of town with his family. We gave him my apartment, and I’m back here until after Christmas.”

“That happen on Thanksgiving?” Adam asked, conscious that it could be a sensitive thing to talk about.

But Finn chose to ignore that. He nodded. “Yeah—I didn’t get a chance to tell you. Anyway, I’ve got to run my last paper in to my professor this morning, but after that, I have the day off.”

“Really?” Adam asked, sincerely surprised. “It’s mine too. I mean, did you do that on purpose?”

Finn grinned. “Yes.” He was brilliant. Brilliant, bold, and unrepentant. Adam wanted to be like him when he grew up.

“I, uh, I sort of have to go get a friend for Clopper,” Adam said. “Want to, you know, come with me?”

“Or, you know, you and Clopper could ride with me. And we could spend the day together and wrap it up with an evening spent at your apartment, during which we eat a wonderful dinner and then have some variation of sexual relations.”

Adam blinked. “Some variation?”

“Yup. It can either be hot monkey lust or sweet sweet lurve. We’ll have to see.”

“I, uhm… aren’t we moving a little fast?”

Finn paused. “Yeah. That is fast. But I’ve known you for three weeks and I’m already emotionally invested. So maybe we’ll just make out. Maybe I’ll fall asleep in your arms and wake up and know that you’re not going anywhere.”

Adam swallowed, unexpectedly moved. “Maybe that last one,” he said softly. “I’d really like that last one.”

That radiant smile undid him.

“Yeah. I think that’s the best option.” Finn stood on his tiptoes again and kissed Adam’s cheek. “But not our only one. It depends on how much in love with me you are by the end of the day. Stay right here. In fact….” He grabbed Adam’s hand, and although Adam did his best Clopper impression with splayed limbs, Finn still won. Adam ended up towed into the house, the dog perking up enough to prance at his heels.

The door was still open from Finn’s precipitous exit, and Finn cleared the threshold hollering, “Mom, Dad, this is Adam! He changed his mind and we’re a thing again!”

Adam glared at him. “Thanks, Finn. I promise, I’ll get even for that.”

Finn grinned and took him into what was probably a breakfast nook where two perfectly nice people in late middle age stopped drinking coffee and stared at him in surprise. Adam had a chance to take in blond hardwood floors, a white kitchen table, and a giant cornucopia in the center. Finn’s parents were both reading something from tablets, but he’d heard voices as he’d walked in and assumed they’d been talking as well. Nice people. No yelling. Happy faces.

Terrifying.

“Wow,” said Finn’s mom, her ash-blonde hair perfect, her Finn-blue eyes wide and round. “That’s, uhm—hello, Adam. Nice that you’re back in our daily dialog.”

“Nice to”—oh God—“meet you. Hiya, Mr. and Mrs. Stewart. Sorry for just barging in—”

“I’ll be right back!” Finn called, running down the hallway for what, God only knew. He was still missing a sock, and his hair didn’t look combed, and his breath hadn’t been awesome.

“If he’s going to the bathroom, he’s going to take at least twenty minutes,” Mr. Stewart said. Adam recognized him from River Burger, but they’d never spoken. He must have been the seminal redhead, because his graying hair was still ginger and his thin, ruddy face bespoke a lot of sunblock in the summer.

“Yes, and if you have to pee, Adam, be sure you use the one upstairs.” Adam almost choked on his tongue, because such a nice-looking woman just said pee, but she didn’t seem to notice. “And don’t let him tell you it’s whatever he ate the night before—it’s a total lie.”

“I’ll, uh, keep that in mind.”

At that point Mari walked into the kitchen, laughing. “Oh my God, Adam, I hope you knew what you were getting into. Joshie saw you walking down the street and yelled ‘Clopper!’ and the next thing I know, Finn was dragging his pants on in the living room. I’ve never seen someone move so fast.”

Adam smiled at her, relieved. “I was going to text him today,” he said, knowing it was the truth. He couldn’t imagine spending one more day without knowing Finn was in his life. “I… I mean, I was thinking about how to make up to him. I, uh, didn’t know I just had to walk by the house.”

To his shock, Finn’s sister walked right up to him from the living room and hugged him. His free arm, the one without Clopper attached, flailed for a minute, and then he put his hand between her shoulder blades and just endured.

“I’m sorry about the cat,” she said softly. “I mean, I’ve got kids and pets. It’s always the most frightening thing, thinking, ‘I can take care of this creature.’ What if you can’t? Who’s going to help you? What if you fail? But really, all you can do is your best. It’s all anyone asks of you.”

Adam grimaced. “So, uhm, you and Finn talked a lot about that, did you?”

Mari’s grin was just as infectious as her little brother’s. “Yep. The only way I could get Finn to buckle down and finish his finals was by telling him you needed a little time and a little encouragement.”

Adam shook his head. “Your entire family is insane.”

She nodded maniacally while crossing her eyes, and Adam cracked up. He couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, well, you like me,” Adam said, laughing. “Must be nuts.”

He turned back to the Mr. and Mrs. Finn, who had been watching Mari charm him with indulgent smiles on their faces. “I’m real grateful for the Thanksgiving dinner,” he said, hoping they’d know he was sincere. “It was a real nice thing.”

“So were the sandwiches on the trash can,” Mrs. Stewart said. “You know, we volunteer at Loaves & Fishes during the winter. Would you like to come with us someday?”

Adam’s breath caught in his chest. “That… that would be really great,” he said, unsure of how to put it into words. “If it wasn’t for my cousin, I’d be living in my car this season. And that thing died on the way from San Diego. It’s like… I owe the world, you know?”

Finn’s mother looked at him thoughtfully. “I think that’s extraordinary,” she said, a small smile on her face. “And it speaks really well of you. Have you given any thought to school, since you have a place to stay right now?”

Adam shrugged. “I’ve been applying online. Still waiting for someone to get back to me. People have been paying me for my drawings. If I can do that for a second job, I might be able to afford tuition. It’s a work in progress.”

Finn’s dad grinned at him. “As all lives should be. C’mere, Adam—pull up a chair. Mari, could you get Finn’s friend some coffee?”

“Yeah, sure. Adam, you want a bagel? They’re fresh, and Mom bought lox. It’s good stuff.”

“You don’t have to—” But before he could even politely refuse, she had coffee in front of him and was pointing to sugar and cream on the table. The bagel showed up—with tomato, avo, lox, and cream cheese—and he was suddenly enjoying a pleasant conversation about his options as a cartoonist and how he’d loved to draw things for Rico, who had all the best ideas.

Finn emerged after a good twenty-five minutes, arriving just in time to watch Adam feed Clopper the last quarter of his bagel.

“You’re going to make him fat,” he chided, and Adam looked up and smiled widely. Seeing Finn fully dressed—jeans belted, warm knit sweater hugging tightly to the V of his torso, hair combed, loafers on with matching socks—was something. He looked freshly scrubbed and radiant, and Adam wondered if he always looked like this before he left the house, and if his curls didn’t just escape and his clothes go askew as he happy-trippy walked all over the world like he belonged there.

“We’ll do extra circles around the block,” Adam said, still smiling. Suddenly he realized that he was in his old jeans and his hooded sweatshirt. “I… I uhm, didn’t dress nice. I mean, we were just walking around the block. I… you look real good.”

Finn grinned back, undismayed, and walked right up to where Adam was sitting. He bent and kissed the top of Adam’s head, ruffling his hair. “You look fine. It’s not an eating-out date, remember? It’s just a day.”

Adam shrugged. “Maybe let me swing by my place—”

“No,” Finn said adamantly. “Nope. You’re not getting away from me today. Let me go get my backpack.”

Adam watched him go, sighing a little. He was always going to be one step behind, wasn’t he? Just a moment away from catching up, watching Finn hop around and be quick and smart and full of life.

But then, Finn looked like he’d always come back for Adam, so maybe that was okay.

“He
really
likes you,” Mari said softly, smiling.

Adam shrugged, blushing and standing up. “Good. ’Cause, mutual.”

Finn returned, a full backpack over his shoulder and his bright blue coat over his arm. “Bye guys! See you tomorrow, ’kay?”

“If not, call us,” Finn’s mom said mildly, and Finn bounced around the table to kiss her on the cheek.

“Kk. Love you.”

And then he turned and grabbed Adam’s hand while Adam was still babbling thank you for the coffee. One step behind—there was no doubt about it—but loving the trip to catch up.

F
INN
PARKED
at the big lot by College Town Drive, and they walked onto the campus through the back way, over the bridge across the river. Fog drifted over the campus, and the smell of the eucalyptus trees by the river was particularly strong. Adam liked this side of Sacramento—the muffled, quiet side. It was sort of a prickly town, he thought, but he liked that. There wasn’t always a real spiritual presence here. All the conversation was done in grunts and laughter that didn’t really touch the eyes.