Can't Let Go (20 page)

He remembered his plane landing, and the first thing he had done was to check on her flight.  He’d rented a room and then went to her gate, waiting anxiously for even just a glimpse of her.  He hadn’t planned on speaking to her—
really,
all he’d wanted was to make sure she was okay.

But as he’d watched her emerge from the boarding bridge, her eyes panicked as she searched around, he couldn’t move.  The crowd had
parted,
as if everything had fallen together just to create that moment.  And when her eyes had finally found his, her shoulders had relaxed and the fear he’d seen written all over her had simply…vanished. 

She was relieved to see him. 

He had taken it as a sign—that despite whatever she had said before, she did care about him.  The evidence had been written all over her face.

After they had parted ways, he’d taken a seat along the wall, watching her as she walked through the airport.  When she’d finally settled down at the bar, he couldn’t resist getting closer. 
Couldn’t resist the temptation to slip back in time, throwing back drinks and enjoying themselves.
  He hadn’t meant for it to go so far.

Logan sighed, running his hand through his hair, shaking his head. 

Not that he regretted it. 

He only regretted the position he had put her in.  What was she supposed to do?  She was engaged to another man.  She’d given him her word.

Logan couldn’t help but wonder why, if she was really happy in her relationship, though—
why
had she felt the need to spend the night with him?

Maybe all she had needed was one more night to find closure, he told himself.  He remembered how she had told him that, after he left her, she had waited for him to come back.  Maybe, deep down, all she needed was to drive the final nail into the coffin.

Maybe she would be happy now.

He sighed again, deciding to push the thoughts from his mind.  He’d spent way too much time thinking about this over the last three months—it was time to accept the way things were.  Abby had left, and she wasn’t coming back.

It was time to move on with his life.

He heard a phone ringing in the distance and he crossed the room to the door, trying to tell the secretary that he wasn’t in.  But the woman ignored him.  “Mr. Sheppard—”

“I’m not in the office, Jean—”

“But Mr. Sheppard—it’s a personal call.  You told me that if anyone by the name of Lewis—”
  He
didn’t give the woman a chance to finish before he spun around and hurried back into his office, certain to close the door behind him. 

It couldn’t be her—could it?  What were the odds that she was thinking about him at this very moment—the very moment he had decided to let her go?  He reached out for the phone, hesitating.

“Abby?”  He questioned after a long moment. 

“I’m sorry, Logan—it’s the more unappealing of the
Lewises
.”  It was the voice of a man that responded—one that Logan recognized.  Though he wasn’t displeased to hear Martin’s voice, disappointment still flooded through him. 

“Mr. Lewis—”

“Call me Marty, Logan.”  Logan couldn’t help but frown as he stared down at his desk. 

“Marty,”
  he
corrected.  “What can I do for you?”

“Well—I hope you don’t mind me looking you up.”

“No, sir—not at all, actually.”
  It was the truth.  Logan was only disappointed because it wasn’t Abby on the phone—part of him was thrilled, on the other hand, that the older man was calling.  For some reason, it gave him just the slightest bit of hope that there was still a chance.  If he could win over Abby’s father—what more was stopping him from winning her back as well?

Well, the fact that she’s getting married…oh, any day now.  That might be a deterrent,
he thought to himself. 

“It’s Marty, Logan. 
All of this ‘sir’ and ‘Mr. Lewis’ business makes me feel like an old man.”
  Logan chuckled then.  “Anyway, I was just calling because I was in the area—I was wondering if you were available for lunch.” 

He probably shouldn’t—he knew.  He had a few things he needed to finish up at the office before he packed up for good.  But he just couldn’t resist. 

“Lunch shouldn’t be a problem.  Whenever you’re ready, sir—I mean, Marty.  They won’t miss me, I’m sure.”  They’d have to get used to him not being around soon anyway. 

“Good.  There’s this small little burger joint right across from the Chase building—should we just meet there in about a half hour?”  Logan knew exactly which burger joint Martin was talking about.  It was a hidden treasure of the city—one Logan would be sure to miss when he found himself on the other side of the country. 

“Sounds great—I’ll see you then.” 

As Logan hung up the phone, he took a deep breath, wondering just what was on the older man’s agenda.  Why had he called?  What did he want to talk about?

Or was Logan just jumping the gun, clinging on to some nonexistent hope? 

He groaned then, running both of his hands through his hair, every muscle in his body on edge.  Regardless—the man had good timing.  If he had called at the same time next week, he would have found an empty office.  Logan was glad he would have this opportunity, even if it didn’t get him any closer to Abby. 

It occurred to him that perhaps Abby was already married.  Maybe this was what her father had come to discuss.  Maybe he was disappointed in Logan for letting her go through with it. 

Or maybe he really was in the area, and he was just looking for some company to share a burger with. 

Logan rose to his feet and grabbed his blazer off the back of his chair, pulling it on as he exited the office.  “I’m going out to lunch, Jean—hold my calls.”

“Is everything—?”

“Oh, it’s fine.  I’m just meeting—a friend.”

“Be careful, Logan.  I don’t want to see you put yourself through what I saw you go through a few months ago.”  She was an older woman—motherly, caring.  Logan leaned over and touched his lips to the woman’s head. 

“I’ll be okay, Jean.  Don’t worry.  It’s just a burger.”

“You know what I’m talking about, Logan.”  He smiled sadly at her, remembering the mess he’d been when he’d returned from the trip to Kentucky.  He’d been such a pest, constantly questioning Jean—wanting to know if he’d had any calls.  Hoping he would hear from her just once. 

He deserved the pain—he knew that.  Whatever he’d experienced, he was sure it was no contest with what he’d done to her all those years ago.  At least he’d almost been expecting it.  Sure, he’d hoped for something different, but something had told him that Abby wasn’t done running yet. 

“I’ll be careful.”  He nodded, waving as he walked away.  He hardly noticed the other people on the floor as he passed by them, his thoughts distracting him. 

The restaurant wasn’t all that far from Logan’s building, so he made the trek by foot.  When he finally arrived, Martin Lewis was already seated at a booth near the back.  He waved from his seat, calling Logan over.  When Logan made his way over, the older man offered his hand and the two shook before Logan settled in across from him. 

“Thanks for meeting with me on such short notice.”

“Oh, it’s no problem at all.  I’m glad you called.”  Logan shrugged out of his blazer, having learned from experience that jackets were much more costly to replace than were dress shirts.  He’d had the misfortune of making a mess of himself on more than one occasion. 

“I really enjoyed talking with you the last time we met, Logan.”

“I’m glad.  Really, though, the pleasure was all
mine
.”  He wasn’t just being nice either.  Logan meant it.  He was glad he’d had the opportunity to meet Abby’s father, even if it made resenting him that much more difficult.

Impossible, rather.
  Because having seen the way Martin Lewis cared for his daughter…it had made all the difference.

“I regret not having the chance to meet you sooner, son.”  Logan only nodded, unsure of how to respond.  He, too, wished they’d had the opportunity to meet all those years ago.  But deep down, he knew it was for the best that they hadn’t.  “I know that you and Abby were serious for quite some time many years ago.  I wish I had taken the time then to get to know you rather than allow the assumptions of my friends to make up my mind for me.”

“No—you were right.  I was a different man then.”  Logan knew Martin would never have approved of him then.  He had been drifting through life until he met Abby, and even then, he had been too dense to do something with himself.

“Truth be told, I really don’t think you were.”  Martin found Logan’s eyes, and he could see that the man was being honest.  “For a long time, I thought I knew who you were.  I grew up in this world, and I saw the way men looked at the women I grew up with.  The golden ticket, I think, is what they used to say.” 

Martin paused, looking down at the table for a moment before meeting Logan’s eyes once more.  “I thought I knew what you were all about.  But I saw the way you looked at her, Logan.  And it was not at all what I had expected.” 

Just then, the waitress came over to take their order.  Logan ordered his usual, without looking at the menu—eager to continue the conversation.  He wanted to know where this was leading.  The older man followed suit, not taking any longer than necessary to order exactly the same thing as Logan.

“You were saying?”  Logan asked, trying not to appear too eager.

“You really love my daughter.”  Martin told him. 

“Without question.”
  What would be the use in lying? 

“You didn’t really stop, did you?”  Logan shook his head.  He was sure it would be impossible to, even now. “I wish I’d known that sooner, Logan.” 

“I didn’t want to intrude on whatever life she had made for herself.  When I left her—I wasn’t doing it because of anything that she had done.  I was just…”  He paused, searching for the words, trying to explain to the man why he had left Abby in the first place.  It had nothing to do with not loving her enough—in fact, it was just the opposite.  He had loved her too much, and that had frightened him for far too long.   “I was terrified.  I didn’t think I deserved her.”

“I’ve had a hard time finding someone I thought did.”  Martin told him and Logan wondered if he spoke of Eric—the man his daughter was soon to wed.  Did he really think Eric deserved Abby?  “You could have found her again.”

“By the time I had finally figured it all out, I couldn’t imagine she would ever be able to look at me the same way.”  Logan told him.

“But she does.”  Abby’s father replied.  But Logan shook his head, leaning back into the seat. 

“No—I really don’t think that’s the case, sir. 
Marty.”
  Wouldn’t she have stayed if she did? 

“Forgive me for being frank, Logan—but are you blind?”  Logan looked up, somewhat stunned.  Martin’s eyes held his.  Logan recognized that look—he’d seen it on Abby’s face so many times before, whenever he’d done something incredibly stupid.  “I’ve never seen my daughter look at any man the way she looks at you.” 

Logan couldn’t find his voice for several moments.

“But she hasn’t called me.  She hasn’t tried to find me.”

“Because she’s afraid, Logan.
  She’s spent so much time trying to let you go—so much time and energy trying to push you away.  And she’s afraid to let you back in.  I saw what she went through, when she came home from Hawaii. ”

“But she
has
to know that I would never—”

“Plus, she’s a woman bound to her commitments.  If she gives her word, she does everything she can to stick by it.  She’d sacrifice almost anything.”  It was true.  Logan knew this from experience.  She was as stubborn as they came. 

“Even
her own
happiness?”

“That’s what I’m here to try and prevent, Logan.” 

“So you didn’t just happen to be in the neighborhood…”  Martin Lewis chuckled, shaking his head. 

“Well, no, it wasn’t entirely by chance.”  He leaned forward.  “Eric is a good man.  He really is.  I know that he loves Abigail to the best of his abilities.  But he’ll never be able to put her wants and needs first.  I want someone who will be there for her, Logan. 
Someone who can take care of her, even when she doesn’t think she needs it.”

“What are you asking me to do, Marty?” 

“I’m not asking you to do anything.”  The man reached into his pocket, pulling out a thick envelope.  “I’m here to give you this.”  He slid the heavy stationary across the table.  It only took one glance to realize what it was.  “I think your invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.  I decided I would personally deliver it—just to make sure it made it into the right hands.” 

Logan stared down at the expensive looking cardstock, wondering what he was supposed to do with it.  “The wedding is this Saturday.”

“Saturday?”
  Logan questioned—knowing exactly what he was meant to be doing on Saturday. 

He had a plane to catch. 

“I’m not asking you to do anything you don’t want to do, Logan.  Please understand me.  I’m not asking you to storm in there and make a scene.  I just want you to think about it.  Think about what she’s about to do and see if there’s—if you think it’s the best choice for her.  And if it isn’t, maybe you can come up with some way to talk her out of it.”

“Have you tried?”  The older man shook his head, settling back into the seat.

“I don’t know how much I can say without crossing a line.  I can’t tell her not to do it—she’ll think I’m only trying to control her life.  I can’t tell her I think she’s making a mistake, because if she
does
decide to go through with it—she’ll always think that I disapprove.  I’m caught between a rock and a hard place.”

“But you think it’ll be easier for me?”

“You’re not her father.”

“No, but I’m probably a little bit biased.” 

“It’s worth a shot, Logan.”  Logan ran his fingers through his hair, uncertainty coursing through him.  “You don’t have to do anything—remember that.  I just wanted to give you the opportunity, just in case you had anything to say.”  It was obvious that Martin Lewis loved his daughter.  He wanted only the best for her—and he’d come to Logan.  That seemed worth considering.