Can't Shake You (26 page)

His chest filled with that crushing pressure that seemed to set in whenever they were together lately and, in that moment, he realized, despite their best intentions, everything between them had changed.

“Carissa,” he whispered and she tipped her face up to him, her eyes shining with so much emotion.
Yeah. She felt it too.

He cupped her jaw in his hands and showered kisses all over her face, saving her lips for last. When he finally put his mouth on hers, she opened for him immediately, the warm, welcoming slide of her tongue along his like a shot of fiery whiskey straight to his soul.
The crazy shit this woman made him feel...

She sighed against his lips. “I’ve waited all day for that.”

He almost growled when she stepped away from him and took care of the pan in the oven. She returned quickly though, intertwined her fingers with his and led him over the pile of her belongings still lying in the middle of the floor.

“Where are we going?” he asked, so tired.

She glanced at him over her shoulder as she pulled him toward the hall. “To bed, hot shot. We can eat later.”

***

T
hey really needed to talk, to figure out what the heck was going on with them, but Carissa could see the exhaustion in Josh’s eyes. That conversation was far too deep for tonight, given the day he’d had. And considering they’d waited three years for this, another day wouldn’t kill them.

“I’m sorry you had to go through what you did today,” she said as she led him into his bedroom. When she got him close to the bed, she turned and went to work, loosening his belt.

“You were confident I’d be home tonight and not tossed into lock-up.” He dropped his chin to his chest and watched her unfasten his button and then his zipper.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I knew Mark would see that.” She tipped her head back and looked up at him, as she guided his shirt up and nudged him to finish. He whipped it off and dropped it to the floor and she held her breath at the powerful, unrelenting beauty of his body.

He clenched his jaw and held her gaze. “I’ve done plenty wrong, babe.”

She shook her head immediately. “This isn’t wrong.”

“It’s not right.”

“By whose standards? Reed’s? Maddie’s?” Dropping to her knees, she undid the laces of his boots, helped him out of them, and removed his socks. When she stood again, she tucked her fingers into the waistband of his jeans and gave a frustrated tug, her eyes pleading up to him. “This is about
us
, Josh. You and me. And being here for you right now? It’s the rightest thing I’ve done in a long time.”

His Adam’s apple bobbled as he swallowed and the conflict brewing in his eyes paralleled the riot of emotions she felt whirling in her chest. Every rational part of her screamed that she was getting in over her head, but she’d been living safely for far too long. It was time to jump in and start taking chances again. For herself. For them.

Biting her lip, she slid her hands back and into his jeans, her fingers gliding over the hard, sculpted curve of his butt, still covered in black cotton boxer briefs. Guiding the denim over his hips and then completely off, she marveled again at the hard, sinewy lines of his body. Strong, taut thighs, perfectly muscled calves and just the right amount of dark, crisp hair. When she dragged her fingers along the bisecting lines of his abs, she felt him flinch and shiver, muscles jumping.

“What are you doing?” he croaked, his eyes turning dark and stormy.

“I’m touching you.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s how we communicate best.” She edged closer and kissed his chest, loving the light dusting of hair there and the scent of him, so real and masculine. She ran her hands over his pecs and down his arms, so thick and solid. She hadn’t intended to seduce him, but there was something innately erotic about undressing a man...undressing
him
. The prod of a growing erection against her belly only added to the arousal low in her pelvis.

“What are you trying to tell me?” he rasped, his voice tight and brusque.

She wet her lips and took in a careful breath. Being completely open on a non-physical level was still new to both of them. But she wanted to tell him. Didn’t want to hide anymore. “That I care,” she admitted. “That I’m not going to let you go through this alone. Times got tough for me and you held me up. I can’t make this go away, but I can be here. I can give you a safe place to fall.”

He pushed a hand back into her hair. “I really like it when you touch me,” he whispered.

So did she. And it scared the hell out of her just how much.

“You’re tired,” she said quickly, trying to get them back on track. She needed a few moments to think, to collect herself before she said too much. “Why don’t you rest for a while? I’ll wake you up in a couple hours and you can eat. I’ll clean up and then—”

“You got me damn near naked and...” He swiveled his eyes down to the tent in his underwear. “And you think what I need is a nap?” When he looked at her again, his eyes were equal parts amused and turned on. “Think again, baby girl.”

Sweet Jesus.

“Take your clothes off,” he said lightly, mischief in his eyes.

Gulp. “Josh...”

“
Now.”

“Okay.” So she’d sort herself out later.

He flashed a sexy, lopsided grin and, in a swift movement, his boxer briefs hit the floor beside his shirt. Her gaze fell to his swollen shaft, standing tall and thick against his lower abdomen. And then to his hand as he eased down onto the bed and wrapped his long fingers around himself.

She held her breath.

“Come on, beautiful,” he drawled, stroking his cock with the one hand as he leaned back, bracing upright with the other. “Completely naked this time, remember?”

She laughed nervously, acutely aware that she was already breathing heavy and he hadn’t even touched her yet. God, the things he could do to her with just a look.

Crossing her arms in front of her, she slowly lifted off her t-shirt, intent on giving him exactly what he wanted—a sensual, erotic striptease. But the sight of his fist tightening and pumping faster along his length made it impossible. She undressed to nothing in seconds and was on him, pushing him down to the mattress.

“What’s the hurry?” he chuckled. The rough slide of his calloused palms up and over her back had her insides liquefying, and she writhed against him, desperate to feel him hard where she was soft. A heavy cloak of emotion bubbled up from somewhere deep inside and she felt her throat begin to constrict around it.

She didn’t want to hurry, but... “Josh, I need you inside. Now.” She rotated her hips and the slippery glide of her sex along his shaft had them both groaning. “Please,” she begged, trying to move just right so she’d capture him and could slide him home, but he rolled them so he was on top and he held himself away. The lump in her throat grew and she knew he saw the tremble in her bottom lip.

“Ah, babe,” he said, smoothing her hair from her face and kissing her with a tenderness that should have made her feel better, but only made matters worse. This was no longer about coming—it was about connecting. And she’d never wanted to feel more connected to another human being than she did him, in that very moment.

She lifted her hips and she felt the tip of his erection dip inside. He ground his jaw and groaned. She whimpered.

“This what you want?” he asked, sliding in a bit further, his blue eyes intense and locked on hers. His biceps bunched on either side of her shoulders and above her, and then he lifted her arms above her head and laced their fingers.

“Yesss,” she moaned, her whole body shaking with need.

“How do you want it, babe? Like this?” He pushed into her hard and she cried out, squeezing his hands. “Or like this?” He slid out and back in again, in a slow, sensual glide that lit every one of her nerves on fire.

She felt the tears begin to brew in her eyes and she knew that somewhere along the way, she’d lost another part of herself to him. She glanced away, not able to look him in the eyes. Too ashamed. She should have known better to fall for him all over again.

“Carissa, look at me.”

“I can’t,” she whispered. God, she was so stupid.

“Babe.” He let go of one of her hands to cup her jaw, forcing her to face him. “My vote’s for slow,” he said quietly and she heard all the crazy emotions burning in her chest laced in his voice.

The dam broke and she sucked in a shaky, half-breath half-sob. Somehow she managed to nod and, kissing her again, he slid home, filling her up with so much more than his body.

“You feel amazing,” he told her against her lips. “So soft and hot and wet. But much as I love feeling you like this, we really need protection.” He began to retreat, but she stopped him by squeezing her thighs around his hips.

“Don’t leave.” She felt like such a silly teenager, but she just wanted him tonight. No barriers. “I’m on birth control.”

A long moment passed. “You trust me that much?”

“I trust you so much it scares me.”

She felt him swell inside her and she saw the emotion flare in his eyes. “Carissa.”

“Shh.” She put a finger to his lips. “Make love to me. Please.”

His face softened, showing her a tenderness she’d only dreamed of before. He looked almost pained and it cracked her heart too. Made her want to ask for things and promise things she’d never given a man before. And yet somehow, she knew she didn’t need to say the words, to make the request, because, there in his eyes, she saw it all. Everything she’d ever wanted, but thought she’d never have.

He never took his eyes off of hers, nor did she him, as they moved together slowly, the weight of his body on hers, inside of her, absolute perfection. For the first time in so, so long, she felt completely whole and satisfied with the path her life had taken her down, despite the crazy emotions wracking her entire being, her soul. Being with him filled the void she’d lived with so long and while a small part of that realization scared her, an even bigger part of it made her feel more alive than ever.

She was in love with him. Probably always had been. And there was no doubt in her mind that he knew. But, for good measure, she planned on showing him, over and over again. Starting tonight and, if she had her way, for longer than either of them ever expected this affair to go on.

When he leaned down and kissed her, her hands still anchored above her head as he loved her so thoroughly, she almost told him. Almost said out loud the one thing she thought impossible. But his kiss consumed all of her thoughts and numbed all of her senses. And when he reached between their tightly woven bodies and stroked her, she was helpless to comprehend anything more than the fact that she was about to go over the edge and so was he, inside of her for the first time.

She gasped and sobbed simultaneously, tugging on her hands until he freed her and she could cup his face and hold him steady, so he wouldn’t look away and miss everything she wanted him to see. He didn’t even try to fight her and when his breath became ragged, his own emotion so clear in his eyes, she gave herself over to him in every way possible...mind, body, and soul. The first wave of her orgasm hit at the same time he thrust home, roared and pumped into her, hard and fast. And then she felt him let go, spilling himself inside of her.

Silent tears flooded her cheeks and he wiped them away with kisses and gentle fingertips. The warmth of his hand alongside her face had her curving into it, her lips brushing against his palm, desperate to keep the intimate connection with him, not wanting him to move an inch.

“Baby, look at me,” he said, guiding her face back to his. He captured her mouth then, and it felt amazing. So consuming and so giving all at once. “Stay with me tonight,” he said against her lips, the words more of a plea than an invitation. As if she’d turn him down.

She slipped her arms around his neck in response and kissed him with everything she had.

She’d give him forever if he wanted her to.

Y
ou’re in deep shit, dude. Way the hell over your head.

Josh woke just after eight o’clock on Friday to Carissa’s butt sleepily wiggling back against his morning erection. Gripping her hip, he reciprocated the gesture by grinding himself into her soft, willing body. She moaned then, consciously stirring for the first time since they’d fallen asleep, tangled in each other’s arms well after 3 a.m.

Having made love over and over again, until they were both completely spent, he was damn glad to have given his crew an extra day off for the long, holiday weekend. He couldn’t imagine a better way of putting yesterday behind him, than waking up with Carissa and picking up right where they’d left off the night before.

The rational part of his brain told him he was out-of-his-mind crazy for letting himself get so involved with her, crossing the line he’d sworn he wouldn’t. But the other part of his higher thinking, the part he usually didn’t trust enough to listen to—the emotional part—told him that loving her in every way he could was exactly what they both needed.

Welcoming the new day with her, the first time he’d done so with a woman since her three years earlier, only solidified that decision. And when she reached down between both their legs and guided his swollen shaft into her softness, he was doubly glad for it.

He would never have enough of her, and he’d worry about what exactly that meant for them both later. Much, much later. Because right now, all he wanted to do was make love to her. Again and again and again.

The sunshine streaming in through the windows danced across her face and he leaned up on an elbow to watch, fascinated by her natural beauty and the play of light on her skin. She bit her lip and fisted the sheet in her hand as he slid in deeper, and when he lifted her leg and buried himself inside, she cried out his name.

He was pretty sure he’d never tire of hearing his name on her lips.

“Good morning to you too,” he said, unable to keep from grinning, so ridiculously pleased with her reaction. She made him feel like friggin’ Superman every time they made love.