Can't Shake You (33 page)

Neither he nor Carissa moved or said a word until the door closed and they were alone. Even then, Josh stood by the door, motionless, just staring down at her, his face showing a mess of chaotic emotion.

“I know I’m not exactly pageant material right now, but it isn’t that bad, is it?” Carissa asked, her hand self-consciously touching the bandage on the side of her head.

“You’re beautiful,” he replied, his voice scratchy and low. “You’re always beautiful.”

“Then stop standing there like I’ve grown two heads. I mean, it feels like I have, but—”

“I did this to you. It’s my fault.”

“I’m the one who fired him.” She shook her head, wincing at the pain.

“He was after me before that.” His throat work as he swallowed. “He came after you because he knows I care about you.”

Well, they weren’t the three words she’d hoped to hear from him, but paired with his dire appearance, she’d take it. “Come sit by me. Hold my hand.”

He opened his mouth, but closed it again. “I came looking for you tonight. To talk.”

A lump lodged in her throat. Had she been wrong? Had he come to end it once and for all? She clenched her eyes shut. “Just say it, Josh. Don’t feel like you have to be go easy on me because I’m lying in this bed.”

“I love you.”

“
What?
”

“I love you. And if I come over there, I’m gonna embarrass myself.”

Carissa laughed through tears. “Get over here.”

He did as she told him, burying his face in her neck and all but crawling onto bed beside her. “I should have protected you. I should have been there. I should have—”

“Stop.” She interrupted him with a kiss. “And all that matters is you’re here now.”

Looking up at her, she saw determination bloom anew in his eyes. “I’m never going to leave you again.”

“Counting on it, hot shot.”

***

M
addie sat at the edge of Carissa’s hospital bed the next morning, reading the card from the flowers Josh brought the night before. He’d come back after she talked to Mark and settled into her room, since she needed at least twelve hours of observation before the doctor would release her. True to his word, Josh had slept in the chair beside her bed all night long.

“I’m disappointed you didn’t think you could tell me,” Maddie said, tapping the card against her fingertips. “You know the only reason I give him so much shit is because he’s Dan’s brother.”

“It happened so fast...” Carissa started, then stopped, ran a hand back through her hair, careful not to touch her stitches. “Okay, so that’s a bunch of crap. I knew he was the one the first time you introduced us at McCauley’s.”

Maddie listened patiently as Carissa told her the whole story, from start to finish. Glancing down at her lap, she wrung her hands together. “I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t understand the enormity of how I felt until this week.” She sighed. “God, Mads, I’ve made so many bad decisions. I’ve went about this all wrong. I wish I could go back—”

“Do you really?” Maddie interrupted, taking Carissa’s hand. “Because the way I see it, this is exactly what you and Josh needed. And as I’ve told you before, sometimes love can be a real bitch, but all that pain and misery is what makes it so much sweeter in the end.”

Carissa felt a tear roll down her cheek. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t even have a place to live, because from what Mark told me last night, the house is a mess.”

“You’ve gotta take it one day at a time. Besides, Dan and I have already talked about it and we think we can manage to keep the noise down for a while. The guest bedroom is yours as long as you need it.”

“Really? You’d do that for me?”

Maddie nodded earnestly. “Of course. I’ve actually become quite fond of being gagged anyhow.”

Carissa laughed so hard, her head hurt all over again.

“So, are you signed out of this joint yet? I’d be happy to give you a ride.”

“Thank you, but Josh is taking me over to get the rest of the stuff from my apartment and then I need to get some clothes from the house.”

Maddie frowned. “You sure that’s a good idea? To see the flip right now?

“I’m not afraid of it.” She’d have Josh with her, after all. “And the insurance assessor is coming by to assess the damage. I’d like to get moving on the repairs right away, because it just so happens I already have an interested buyer.” She smiled and told Maddie about Tony.

“Shut up,” her best friend gushed. “Well, you’re still welcome to stay with us for as long as you need.”

“Thanks, Mads. I promise it won’t be long. I refuse to be within ten miles of that house when you consummate your marriage.”

Maddie laughed. “So, it’s probably safe to say you won’t need that hotel reservation for the wedding. I assume you’ll be sharing a bed with the best man.”

“That’s a likely possibility, yes.”

Maddie scrunched up her face, belated realization hitting her. “Oh, my God, you’ve seen my future brother-in-law naked! That’s so weird.”

“Mmm, I happen to think it’s pretty hot.”

Maddie collapsed against her in wild laughter as the hospital room door opened and Josh poked his head in. “Oh, man, girl moment. I’ll come back.”

Pushing upright, Maddie shook her head and pressed her lips together to contain her amusement. “Get your fool ass in here. I’ve gotta get going anyhow.”

Carissa’s heart fluttered as Josh strolled in, hands in his pockets, looking a little nervous, which she understood, given Maddie’s penchant for big sister-like harassment.

“Nice flowers, by the way,” Maddie said, slugging him in the shoulder. “Might have to enlist your help decorating for the wedding.”

“Not a chance in hell of that happening.”

Eyebrow lifted, Maddie appraised him for a long moment before cocking her head to the side and issuing her warning. “You break her heart and I’ll turn into the sister-in-law from hell.” Then, with a bat of her eyes and an innocent bitch smirk, she grabbed her purse and left.

Carissa smiled. “Gotta love that woman.”

“Yeah, I guess we do, don’t we? How many weeks until the wedding?”

“Five.” Slipping off the bed, she met him in the middle of the room and wrapped her arms around his waist. Nose stuck in his chest, she took a deep breath and her nerves dissipated immediately. He smelled of clean cotton, stormy nights, and everything she’d ever wanted in a man. “Did you talk to Mark this morning?”

He kissed the top of her head and nodded. “They found Alex at a motel in Grand Island. He denied everything, but the cuts on his hands say otherwise. So much for putting this behind us and moving on. Looks like we’ll be in court before it’s over.”

She’d expected as much, because it wasn’t Alex’s style to go down without a fight. “I’ll do whatever it takes to see he gets what he deserves.”

“You know, you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.” He pushed the hair from her face and brushed his thumb across her lips.

She nodded, because she was, wasn’t she? And with him by her side, she’d be even stronger.

***

J
osh swept his fingers down Carissa’s cheek as she slept, her arms curled around his comforter and her hair spread out over his pillow, later that afternoon. She’d been a trooper when he’d brought her to the house and she’d held her own while he and the insurance assessor compiled a list of the damages. But as soon as they were alone, she crumbled, he guessed mostly out of physical exhaustion.

Making the most of the downtime, he closed the bedroom door behind him and locked up the house before climbing into his truck. He had a big night planned for them, but there was something he had to take care of first. Something he couldn’t put off any longer.

He knocked on Fletcher’s door ten minutes later.

His friend opened the door, a beer in hand and a hangover in his eyes. He’d been gone when Josh had returned to the waiting room after seeing Carissa the night before and then when he’d run to get her a change of clothes and the flowers, he’d seen his friend’s car parked in front of McCauley’s.

“I was beginning to think you’d pussied out again,” Fletcher said, before taking a pull of the beer.

Josh shoved his hands in his pockets. “I should have been straight with you from the beginning.”

“You make it sound like this has been going on for a while.” Fletcher arched an eyebrow.

“Let me in and I’ll tell you everything.”

“It’s worse than I thought, isn’t it?”

Josh hesitated, his brow pinched. “Probably.”

Fletcher eyed him warily, but stepped out of the way and let him in. Josh took a seat in the living room, while Fletcher stood in the kitchen, several feet away, with his arms crossed over his chest, the beer dangling from his fingers. All the while, Josh talked, starting with the night it all began three years prior all the way up to almost letting her get away again, Fletcher stood stalk still. Unmoving. Predatory, even.

“I should have told you, but by the time I’d heard you were seeing her, it was too late. Or at least I thought it was,” Josh explained. “Shit, man, I thought you were in love with her.”

Fletcher stared for what seemed like forever, before he finally spoke. “You’re one stupid son of a bitch.”

“You’re the one who was playing around with her.” Josh lifted an eyebrow, then sighed. “But you’re right—I probably should have figured it out. Hell, I might have if I hadn’t tried so damn hard to avoid you two.”

“Falling for her has turned you into a real punk, you know that?”

“Maybe in some ways, but I can tell you this—you so much as look at her the wrong way again and your days of man-whoring will be over.”

Fletcher snorted. “Is that so?”

“I love her, bro. I need to know you’re gonna be okay with that.”

“And if I’m not?”

Josh lifted a careless shoulder, because, in the end, Fletcher’s approval didn’t matter. It wasn’t going to stop him from being with the woman he loved. “I hope you are.”

Another long moment passed before Fletcher spoke. “She looks at you differently than she ever looked at me. I don’t know how I never noticed
that
. As much I want to kick your ass right now, I can’t deny Carissa what she wants. And that’s you.” He paused and gave his head a shake, concession clear in his eyes. “You take care of her, you hear me? You stop acting like a goddamn fool and you man the hell up. You treat her with the utmost respect and you spend every day for the rest of your life making up for these last few weeks. Maybe then—and it’s a big friggin’ maybe—you’ll be worthy of her.”

Didn’t he know it.

“Don’t fuck this up, Hudson, because if you do, I’ll make you wish you never came home from Afghanistan.”

Josh stood and leveled with his friend, as testosterone warred between them. Finally, he stuck out his hand, because this wasn’t about him and Fletcher anymore. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

Fletcher hesitated before accepting the gesture. “This is for her, not you. Just so we’re clear.”

“Crystal.” And he was, because, more than anyone, he wanted the best for Carissa, too.

***

“W
here are you taking me?” Fresh from a her long afternoon nap, Carissa felt bright-eyed and anxious as Josh drove them further out of River Bend, turning onto a desolate dirt road she’d driven by, but had never been down before.

He winked and squeezed her hand across the console. “You’ll see. We’re almost there.”

If the basket and blanket in the backseat of his truck were any indication, she guessed he had some sort of picnic planned. Other than that, she had no idea what he was up to.

When a wide clearing opened up before them, showing the river far at the base of a sharp, jutting bluff, she held breath. This was going to be, by far, the most romantic picnic she’d ever been on.

“This is beautiful,” she exhaled when the truck came to a stop on what had to be one of the highest points of land in town, maybe even the county. She could see for miles and, in the far off distance, a cluster of darkened shadows rose from the wheat fields. Who knew you could see the Rockies from River Bend? Absolutely breathtaking.

Eager to see more, she hopped out and hurried toward the bluff, her arms spread wide, the breeze fluttering her hair across her cheeks.

“I love it,” she said, as Josh came up behind her, his arms sliding around her waist, his lips on her temple. “How come I never knew this existed?”

“It’s private property. It’s usually gated off.”

“I’m jealous of whoever owns it, but very glad they left the gate unlocked. Hopefully we don’t get caught.”

“We won’t. And there’s no need to be jealous. In fact, you can spend as much time out here as you’d like.”

Carissa quickly turned in his arms, curious. “Who’s the owner?”

He gave a humble smile. “Until we close in a couple weeks, it’s technically Henry’s. But he’s already given me free reign of the place. Including the key to the gate.”

Her mouth fell open, her mind not quite comprehending what he was saying. “You’re buying this place?”

“You want land with a water view, don’t you?”

Emotion swelled in Carissa’s chest. He was buying this for her? For them? “Something else on your mind, hot shot?” she asked, her bottom lip suddenly shaky.

“We’ve made a pretty good team, working on the flip over the past few weeks. I thought we might try something a little bigger and a little more long-term the next time around.”

The next time around. God, her heart was beating so fast. “You want me to be your business partner?”

“I want you to be my life partner.” Moving in close, Josh put his hand to her cheek and nuzzled his nose against hers. “And the mother of my children. If you’ll have me.”

A heady rush of love and lust washed through her body and her limbs shook with anticipation. Having Josh’s babies. Wow. It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought about it before. She had. A lot.

In fact, somewhere in the back of her mind she knew Josh was always going to be the man her kids called Daddy. The man she spent forever with. The man she grew old with in a front porch swing.

It had just taken them awhile to step over the baggage between them and finally come together, once and for all. And hearing him say the words? Knowing he wanted her just as much as she wanted him? It was a feeling unlike any other.