Caper (16 page)

ADA Reynolds was torn between stamping his foot at the nasty man spoiling his fun and having me arrested for being an asshole. “We have surveillance video of the apartment building garage. It is timed and dated. The congressman's car drove in a ten forty-five. The congressman's body was found at two fifteen. Between ten forty-five and two fifteen the only person who went up to see the congressman was the suspect in custody. You wanna argue with that?”

“Ten forty-five and two fifteen?”

“That's right.”

“Doorman never went to lunch?”

He frowned. “What makes you ask that?”

I shrugged. “Trying to think like a defense attorney.”

“During the doorman's lunch break the porter's on the desk. The porter didn't see anyone go up, either.”

“Good, reliable witness, the porter?”

“I believe him.”

“What's his name?”

“None of your business.”

“How about the doorman. Good solid witness?”

“Absolutely.”

“Interesting.”

“What?”

“With the porter, you just believe him. With the doorman, it's
absolutely
. I was wondering why the emphasis.”

“The doorman's a much more important witness. Seeing as how he sent the guy up.”

“Uh-huh. And he's sure of his story?”

“Of course he is.”

“Can I talk to him?”

“No, you
cannot
talk to him. You're not to go anywhere
near
him, you understand? If I find out you've been messing around with my witness, there'll be hell to pay. Are we clear?”

I put up my hands. “Hey, hey. No need to get nasty. You made your point.”

34

A
LICE WAS IMPRESSED.
“Y
OU FINESSED
ADA
INTO
keeping you away from the doorman?”

“That's right.”

“By pretending you wanted to see him?”

“I wasn't pretending. I do want to see him.”

“Yes, but not under your right name in front of the ADA. That would complicate things.”

“No kidding.”

“So, you pulled off a bit of reverse psychology, and you feel pretty pleased with yourself.”

“It worked.”

“Yes, it did.”

“Yes. And even if it is only a variation on Br'er Rabbit's ‘Don't throw me in the briar patch,' it's still impressive.”

“It's been a long time since Br'er Rabbit.”

“Yes, it has. I suppose I should give you credit.” Alice frowned. “I'm just not exactly sure what for. Let me see if I've got this straight. You're celebrating the fact the ADA in charge of the case is not going to confront you with the doorman because of your clever scheme, which involved going to the ADA and pretending you wanted to contact the doorman. What I'm not getting is the ADA would never have thought to confront you with the doorman, in fact would never have known you were involved in the case at all, if you hadn't gone to him in the first place.”

“I was afraid you'd see that flaw.”

“Stanley, this is not a game. Someone is dead. Someone else in charged with the crime. It has nothing to do with you. Yet you seem to delight in tiptoeing on the brink of discovery. What was the point of going to his ADA?”

“I've opened lines of communication.”

“For what? To get yourself arrested? To get yourself indicted? How far are you going to take this? You can't show up in court. The doorman will recognize you. He may not be the brightest guy on earth, but he's gotta wonder what the flower delivery guy's doing there.”

“It's not going to get to court.”

“Why not? What you gonna do, confess?”

“Alice. I don't think you're giving me enough credit.”

“I'm sorry. You're a hero. You're very brave, standing up to that big ADA.”

“I'm not just making sure he doesn't confront me with the doorman. There's the whole bit about me tailing the congressman. If the ADA sniffed it out, he'd haul me in, put me on the carpet. If I go in, throw it in his face, say, ‘Hey, look at this, I got a right to be here,' his gut reaction is, ‘No, you don't. None of this stuff has anything to do with the case. Get the hell out of here.' Now, maybe that's just the briar patch again, but damned if it didn't work.”

Alice yawned and stretched. She looked gorgeous. “Work how? I'm getting a little confused. Was your entire purpose prophylactic, or are you trying to solve this crime?”

“You shouldn't say prophylactic to a horny PI.”

“Stop that. Aside from getting the guy who hadn't noticed you to not notice you, what did you accomplish in terms of the case?”

“I met the guy. Now, if I come up with something, I got a place to take it.”

“Oh, my God,” Alice said. “You're not Br'er Rabbit. You're Raskolnikov, helping the cop in
Crime and Punishment
.”

“I'm not like Raskolnikov.”

“Why not?”

“I'm not Russian.”

“Stanley.”

“And I didn't kill the pawnbroker woman. Come on, Alice. Someone killed the congressman and someone set me up. If it was the same person, don't you think I'm a danger to them? Don't you think I should be on my guard?”

“Absolutely. You should do absolutely everything in your power to assure them you are not a danger to them and they should not rub you out. Now, where does going to the authorities fall in that category?”

“Well, if you're going to nitpick.”

“Come on. Get serious. Going to the ADA is a stopgap measure at best. It doesn't advance you any in terms of the investigation”

“So?”

“You say you're just laying the groundwork. Fine. You laid the groundwork. Lines of communication are open. You're prepared to set your plan in motion. So, what's your plan?”

“Plan?”

35

I
DIDN
'
T HAVE A PLAN, AT LEAST NOT ONE THAT
I
COULD
tell Alice. Because whatever I came up with, Alice could poke holes in it. Alice is good at that. I wouldn't stand a prayer.

The congressman had a wife and kid. I'd seen the kid. I hadn't seen the wife. If she turned out to be the woman who hired me, everything would fall into place. But I didn't see how that could be. Not if her intention from the beginning was to knock hubby off. She would have to appear at the funeral. She would have to suspect I would, too. At least if I were in any trouble over the little caper. And how could I not be? By rights I'd be arrested in Philly. Which tends to tick people off. I could be expected to show interest in the parties involved. Meeting the congressman's wife would be highly likely. Not to mention finding her picture in the paper, or seeing her on TV. Neither of which I happened to do. Still she couldn't be sure of that.

I wondered if I should interview her. On what pretext, I had no idea. Of course, if she was the woman who hired me, it wouldn't matter. I'd ID her, and that would be that. But if, as it felt likely, she wasn't, I would be up shit creek without a plausible reason for asking.

It occurred to me it was probably better just seeing the woman without talking to her. But where? She'd have to go to the funeral. But she'd be the grieving widow. You'd have to pay your respects to the grieving widow. It was only polite.

However, Congressman Jason Blake was a pubic figure. His memorial service was announced in the paper. Lots of people would go. It would be easy to get lost in the crowd. No one would notice me.

I put on my best suit, took Alice for protective coloration. And she's observant where I'm not. Alice didn't know any of the parties involved, but I could count on her insights. All right. More observant
and
smarter. Besides, she wanted to go. Probably just to keep me out of trouble.

I had no trouble spotting Valerie Blake. The congressman's widow was dressed in black and accepting condolences.

“Is that her?” Alice said.

“Yeah, that's the congressman's wife.”

“I know
that
. Is it the woman who hired you?”

“Not in a million years.”

“You sure? You're really bad at faces. And she's dressed in mourning.”

“It's not her.”

“The kid with her is the one you saw dancing?”

“I assume so.”

“You assume so?”

“I couldn't ID him if my life depended on it. A boy band, for Christ's sake. They're plastic, like Ken dolls.”

While we watched, a girl came up to him, squeezed his hand.

“That's the daughter,” I said.

“Really? She doesn't look like a hooker.”

“Alice.”

“That's the girl you rescued from a fate worse than death?”

“Hey, give me a break. If you thought someone was abusing her, would you do something about it?”

“I think I'd check it out first.”

“How?”

“I don't know. But I would. Before I drugged and abducted her.”

It was a no-win situation. I kept my mouth shut.

The girl left her boyfriend, returned to an older couple in the front row.

“That's her parents?” Alice said.

“Yes. Jennifer and David Weldon.”

“Who
do
know you, and would freak out if they saw you here?”

“That's right.”

“So, we probably won't be talking to them. You recognize anyone else here?”

I didn't. Of course, I was hard-pressed to, being apolitical, at least on the local level. I voted early and often for Obama.

The only other one I recognized was Sharon's cheerleading friend, whose name I couldn't recall, standing with her parents, whom I'd never met, a skinny, mousy woman and a rather athletic-looking man. I figured it was Daddy, frustrated without a son to play quarterback, who pushed his daughter into cheering the team.

Aside from them, I was lost. I spotted a couple of girls I might have seen in the movie theater, but if I had to swear to it, I couldn't.

Granted, I didn't know the congressman well, but as far as I was concerned, his memorial service was a washout.

Then I spotted him.

My heart leapt. My mouth fell open.

Alice said, “Great poker face. Who is it?”

“That's him.”

“Who?”

“That's the guy. Son of a bitch! I did it.”

“
You
did it?”

“That's the defendant. His lawyer got him out of jail.”

“Damn!”

“What do you mean, damn?”

“Are you a moron? We talked about it. If he's off the hook, they'll come after you.”

“They won't come after me. Because of the briar patch.”

“That only worked while they had a suspect,” Alice said, impatiently. “Now they'll come after everybody.”

“They won't come after me.”

“Damn it, what the hell is he doing here?”

“Paying his respects.”

“Oh, sure.”

“Well, he knew the guy.”

“He was accused of
killing
the guy,” Alice said.

“Yeah, but he didn't do it. He probably liked him.”

“Even so, he shouldn't be here. Will he recognize you?”

“As the flower delivery guy he saw coming out as he came in? I doubt it.”

“Didn't you deliver the flowers?”

“Yeah.”

“So you didn't have them when you came out. So he wouldn't peg you as a flower delivery guy. Just a guy leaving the building.”

“I suppose.”

“So, if he did recognize you and saw you here, he might say, ‘Hey, this guy was coming out when I came in. And he's at the congressman's funeral. So he was probably calling on him.'”

“He won't recognize me.”

“I hope not. If he ID'd you there'd be hell to pay. Particularly after your briar patch story. The ADA would put two and two together and—”

“All right, all right. I'll keep a low profile.”

“I would keep it right down on the floor.”

Luckily Alice and I were in the middle of the crowd, and Leslie Hanson was pushing his way toward the front.

“You don't suppose he's going to pay his respects to the widow?” Alice said.

He was. Leslie Hanson got in line behind the people waiting to see the congressman's wife.

He was next in line when she saw him.

Her eyes widened. Her face paled. I could see her lips mouthing the word, “You!”

Leslie Hanson put up his hands, took a step toward her.

Bad move.

The congressional widow let out a savage scream of anger and dread.

The room fell silent. Everyone froze, transfixed by the horrific tableau of the congressman's killer crashing his memorial service to threaten his wife.

Who would save her?

Sharon's father lunged to his feet, but her mother pulled him down.

There was no need.

The contractor had taken a step back. The widow's shrieks had crescendoed and died. The crisis was averted.

Nearly.

The athletic-looking father of Sharon's cheerleading pal, though somewhat slow on the uptake, was, once roused, not at all reluctant to act. He lunged across the room, hurtled into the air in a headlong dive, and pinned the startled contractor to the floor.

36

R
ICHARD WASN
'
T PLEASED TO HEAR FROM ME.
“W
HO
'
S
dead?”

“Congressman Blake.”

“Again?”

“Still.”

“And why, in the name of God, would that warrant my attention?”

I gave Richard a rundown of the memorial service. He wasn't impressed. “You weren't arrested?”

“No.”

“This numbnuts defendant was?”

“That's right.”

“Last time I checked, he wasn't my client. Isn't it a fact the damn fool was stupid enough to hire some vastly inferior defense attorney to represent him?”