Captains of the Sands (18 page)

Then they took him to have an ice-cream soda at the stand across from the theater. While he was eating his ice cream Legless was thinking that he almost pulled an inevitable boner when the lawyer asked him what he wanted. He’d been about to ask for an ice-cold beer. But he caught himself in time and asked for a soda.

In the car the lawyer sat in the front driving and Legless sat in back with Dona Ester, who chatted with him. The conversation was difficult for Legless, who had to control his scant vocabulary, which was replete with dirty words. Dona Ester asked him things about his mother and Legless answered as best he could, making a great effort to remember the details he was inventing so that he wouldn’t contradict himself afterwards. They finally got to the house in Graça and Dona Ester led Legless to the room over the garage:

“You aren’t afraid to sleep alone, are you?”

“No, ma’am…”

“It’ll only be for a few days. Then I’m going to put you up there in the room that should have been Augusto’s…”

“You don’t have to, Dona Ester, it’s fine here.”

She went over and kissed him on the cheek:

“Good night, son.”

She went out, closing the door. Legless stood stock still, not moving, not even answering her “good night,” his hand to his face at the spot where Dona Ester had kissed him. He wasn’t thinking, wasn’t seeking anything. Only the soft caress of the kiss, a caress such as he had never had, a mother’s caress. Only the soft caress on his face. It was as if the world had stopped at the moment of the kiss and everything had changed. In the whole universe there was only the soft feel of that maternal kiss on Legless’s face.

Afterwards came the horror of the dreams of jail, the man in the vest who laughed brutally, the policemen who were beating Legless, who ran around the small room on his crippled leg. But suddenly Dona Ester arrived and the man in the vest and the policemen died in infinite torture because now Legless was dressed in a sailor suit and had a whip in his hand like the hero in the movies.

A week had passed. Pedro Bala had come by the house several times to get news of Legless who was late in getting back to the warehouse. There had already been enough time for Legless to have found out where all the easy to carry objects in the house were and the exits they could use to facilitate their flight. But instead of Legless Pedro Bala saw the maid, who
thought he’d come because of her. One day when he was chatting with the servant, Pedro Bala skillfully brought up the subject of Legless:

“The woman here has a son, doesn’t she?”

“It’s a boy she’s taking care of. A nice fellow.”

Pedro Bala smiled because he knew that when he wanted to, Legless could pass for the nicest boy in the world. And the maid went on:

“He’s a little younger than you, but he’s a boy just the same. He’s not a no-good like you who’s already sleeping with women…” and she laughed at Pedro Bala.

“You’re the one who broke my cherry…”

“Don’t be vulgar. Besides, it’s a lie.”

“I swear.”

She would have liked it to have been that way and even if she was quite sure it wasn’t, she liked his saying so. She not only felt like the boy’s lover but a little like a mother too.

“Come today and I’ll show you a nice way…”

“Tonight on the corner…But tell me something: haven’t you been screwing with that boy there?”

“He doesn’t know what it’s all about…He’s a booby. A spoiled child. You’re out of your mind. You can’t see that I wouldn’t do it…”

Another time Pedro Bala managed to see Legless. He was stretched out in the garden (the cat was purring beside him), looking at a picture book and Pedro Bala was most startled when he saw him dressed in gray cashmere pants and a silk shirt. Legless’s hair was even combed and Pedro Bala stood open-mouthed for a moment, not even whistling at Legless. Finally he came to and whistled. Legless stood up at once, saw the Bullet on the other side of the street. He signaled him to wait, went out through the gate after seeing that nobody from the house was around.

Pedro Bala walked to the corner and Legless accompanied him. When he got close Pedro Bala was even more surprised:

“Pew! You stink, Legless.”

Legless made a face of distaste, but the Bullet went on:

“You’re even more duded up than Cat. Jesus! If you ever
showed up like that at the den,” that’s what they called the warehouse, “the others would jump on you. You’re a regular little sweetheart…”

“Lay off…I’m casing things. Pretty soon I’ll take off and you can come with the others.”

“You’re taking your time this time…”

“It’s because the things are better taken care of,” Legless lied.

“Let’s see if you can get things going.”

Then he remembered:

“The Gringo was in bad shape. He was running almost a hundred and four. He almost kicked the bucket. If it hadn’t been for Don’Aninha, who brewed up something for him that got him on his feet again, you wouldn’t have seen him anymore. He’s as skinny as a rail…”

And with that piece of news he went off, telling Legless again to hurry up.

Legless went back to lie down in the garden. But he wasn’t seeing the pictures in the book now. He was seeing Gringo. Gringo was one of the ones in the gang that Legless teased the most. The son of Arabs, he spoke with a funny accent and that was cause for endless mocking on Legless’s part. Gringo wasn’t strong and he never got to be important among the Captains of the Sands, even though Pedro Bala and Professor tried to make it that way. They loved having a foreigner or near foreigner with them. But Gringo was content with petty thefts, he avoided risky attacks, and he thought up the idea of a trunkful of knick-knacks to sell on the street to maids from rich houses. Legless mistreated him mercilessly, making fun of him, of his tangled speech, of his lack of courage. But now, lying on the firm grass of the rich garden, wearing good clothes, combed and perfumed, a picture book beside him, Legless was thinking about Gringo’s almost dying while he was eating well and wearing good clothes. It wasn’t only Gringo who’d almost died. During that week the Captains of the Sands were still poorly clothed, poorly fed, sleeping in the rain in the warehouse or under the docks. During that time Legless was sleeping in a good bed, eating good food, he even
had a lady who kissed him and called him son. He felt like a traitor to the group. He was just like that dockworker João de Adão talked about, spitting on the ground and rubbing it out as a sign of disgust. The dockworker who’d gone over to the other side during the big strike, to the side of the rich, had dropped out of the strike, had gone off to hire outsiders to work on the docks. No man on the waterfront had ever shaken his hand again, had ever treated him like a friend. And if anyone was an exception to Legless’s hatred, which took in the whole world, it was the children who made up the Captains of the Sands. They were his comrades, they were just like him, they were the victims of all the rest, Legless was thinking. And now he felt that he was deserting them, going over to the other side. With that thought he jumped, sat up. No, he wouldn’t betray them. Before anything else there was the law of the gang, the law of the Captains of the Sands. Those who broke it were expelled and nothing good awaited them in the world. And no one had ever broken it the way Legless was going to break it. In order to become a spoiled child, to become one of those children who were a perpetual source of mockery for them. No, he wouldn’t betray them. Three days would have been enough for him to locate the objects of value in the house. But the meals, the clothes, the room, and more than the meals, the clothes, and the room, Dona Ester’s love had made him stay a week already. He’d been bought by that love the way the stevedore had been bought with money. No, he wouldn’t betray them. But then he thought that if he didn’t he’d betray Dona Ester. She’d trusted in him. She, too, in her house had a law like the Captains of the Sands: she only punished when there was a wrong, she paid good with good. Legless was going to break that law, he was going to repay good with evil. He remembered that the other times when he ran away from a house so that it could be raided a great joy came over him. This time there was no joy at all. His hatred for everyone hadn’t disappeared, that’s true. But he’d made an exception for the people in that house because Dona Ester called him son and kissed him on the cheek. Legless was fighting with himself. He would have liked to have gone on in that life. But what
good would that have been for the Captains of the Sands? And he was one of them, he would never cease being one of them because once the police had arrested him and had beaten him while a man in a vest laughed brutally. And Legless made up his mind. But he looked lovingly at the windows of Dona Ester’s room and she, who was watching him, noticed that he was crying:

“Are you crying, son?” and she disappeared from the window to come over to him.

Only then did Legless see that he was indeed weeping, wiped away his tears, bit his hand. Dona Ester came over beside him:

“Are you crying, Augusto? Is something wrong?”

“No, ma’am. I’m not crying, I’m not…”

“Don’t lie to me, son. I can see quite clearly…What happened? Are you thinking about your mother?”

And she pulled him over to her, sat down on the bench, rested Legless’s head on her maternal breast.

“Don’t cry for your mother. You’ve got another mamma now who loves you a lot and will do everything to take the place of the one you lost…” (…and he would do everything to take the place of the son she had lost, Legless heard inside himself).

Dona Ester kissed him on the cheek where the tears were streaming:

“Don’t cry, your mamma will be sad.”

Then Legless’s lips opened wide and he sobbed, wept huddled against his mother’s breast. And while he hugged her and let himself be kissed, he wept because he was going to abandon her and, worse than that, rob her. And she would never know perhaps that Legless felt he was going to rob himself too. As she didn’t know that his weeping, his sobs were a way of asking forgiveness.

Events moved quickly because Raul had to take a trip to Rio de Janeiro on important legal business. And Legless thought there was no better time for the raid.

On the afternoon he left he looked all over the house, petted Trinket the cat, chatted with the maid, looked at the picture
books. Then he went to Dona Ester’s room, said that he was going to take a walk to Campo Grande. She told him then that Raul was bringing a bicycle back from Rio for him and then every afternoon he could ride in Campo Grande instead of walking. Legless lowered his eyes but before going out he went over to Dona Ester and kissed her. It was the first time he’d kissed her and she was very happy. He spoke in a low voice, pulling the words out of himself:

“You’re very good. I’ll never forget you…”

He left and didn’t come back. That night he slept in his corner in the warehouse. Pedro Bala had gone with a group to the house. The others had surrounded Legless admiring his clothes, his neat hair, the perfume that evaporated off his body. But Legless shoved one of them away, went mumbling to his corner. And there he stayed, biting his nails, not sleeping, in anguish until Pedro Bala returned with the others, bringing the results of their burglary. He told Legless that no one was the wiser in the house, that they’d all kept on sleeping. Maybe the next day they’d discover the robbery. And he displayed the gold and silver objects:

“Tomorrow González will give us a pile for this…”

Legless closed his eyes so as not to see. After they’d all gone to sleep he went over to Cat:

“Do you want to make a deal with me?”

“What is it?”

“I’ll swap these clothes for yours…”

Cat looked at him in surprise. His clothes were the best without any doubt. But they were old clothes, far from being worth as much as the fine cashmere clothing Legless was wearing. “He’s nuts,” Cat thought while he answered:

“Swap? Don’t even ask.”

They exchanged clothes. Legless went back to his corner, tried to sleep.

On the street Doctor Raul was coming along with two policemen. They were the same ones who had beaten him in jail. Legless ran but Doctor Raul pointed him out and the soldiers took him to the same room. The scene was the same as ever: the police who amused themselves by making him run on
his gimpy leg and beat him and the man in the vest who was laughing. Except that Dona Ester was also in the room and looking at him with sad eyes and saying that he was no longer her son, that he was a thief. And Dona Ester’s eyes made him suffer more than the soldiers’ blows, more than the man’s brutal laughter.

He woke up bathed in sweat, he fled from the night of the warehouse, dawn found him wandering over the sand.