Captive- Veiled Desires (16 page)

Her temporary blindness began to fade away as her eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room. She made out the windows and the night sky between the gaps in the drapes. Why hadn’t she seen it before? Had she somehow hurt a nerve in her eyes that resulted in the blindness? She rubbed her temples, breathing in and out steadily as she tried to calm her rapidly beating heart.

She glanced about the room, noticing the silence for the first time since her nightmare. She was completely alone in the room. She picked up the mantel clock and checked its fluorescent hands. It was almost two o’clock in the morning.  So where was Adam?

She pushed back the curtains, looking towards the hall in which they were married only a few nights ago. Was he perhaps sleeping out again? She felt the urge to creep into the hall to check but then decided against it. Mingling with opposite genders was strictly taboo and she didn’t want to offend anyone on the property.

She would definitely meet him in the morning. And it was only a few hours until then. Maybe then she could tell him that she was willing to share the bedroom with him. He didn’t need to sleep in the hall anymore now. Her fear of him was slowly beginning to subside, replaced with an eagerness to see him at least at the end of each day. She felt protected when he was around. And nights was when she needed him most.

Knowing that she was alone in her bedroom left her awake and alert. She ached to close her eyes and sleep peacefully. But she needed Adam by her side to be able to do that. Why hadn’t he come to their room?

She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. She recollected her nightmare and shivered slightly. “Adam,” she whispered.  What would she do if something happened to him? Her life depended on Adam. And until he was alive, she would be too.

Husna strolled in casually with a clean set of towels. “You eaten
khor
?”

“No.” Nora licked her lips. “Husna, it’s almost eight o’clock. And Adam isn’t here yet. Have you seen him at all?”

“No, me not see him.” Husna shook her head. “You want me to find out for you?”

“If you don’t mind, Husna,” Nora said.

Her mind was racing with worry.
Where was he? Why did he not want to see me?

Husna picked up Nora’s dirty laundry and walked towards the door. “I be back soon. Don’t worry.”

Nora sat back in her chair and looked out of her window. The women walked to and fro, busily involved in their daily tasks. A few of the men gathered in the distance, talking. Her door wasn’t locked anymore. What stopped her from venturing outside and finding more about the life that lay outside her room? Perhaps, she was waiting for Adam to tell her that she would be safe wandering the compound of the property.

She lay her head down on the table, imagining she was looking at the sky through her window in her own apartment. She missed it. She missed Amy. But as the days continued to pass, her hopes of ever seeing her best friend was slowly beginning to fade. The possibility that this place could be her future seemed more and more imminent the longer she stared into that clear blue sky.

Adam massaged his throbbing temples. “You want me to what?” He wasn’t sure if he had heard Jahandar correctly.

He was standing back again in Jahandar’s living room, hoping he wouldn’t ask for too much. But now, it appeared he wasn’t going to get his wish any time soon. What the man wanted was plain ridiculous; not forgetting deadly.

“Teach Hazrat Zawahiri a lesson. One that he will remember for a long time,” Jahandar said.

“You’re crazy, Jahandar. Why would I want to do that? Hazrat Zawahiri is Saeed Zawahiri’s son. Or have you forgotten that? Saeed will never let it rest. In fact, any altercations with them won’t be taken lightly. They don’t just avenge an eye for an eye. They’ll get your tooth and anything else they can lay their fist on.”

Jahandar shook his head. “Isn’t it a pity to see the leader of Darul-Ilhaam cowering like a coward?”

“This is not about being a coward, Jahandar,” he replied sternly. The man irked him. But he needed him for now and he had to be careful not to lose him. “There is nothing we have against the Zawahiris. Why invite trouble?”

“Nothing against the Zawahiris?” Jahandar let out a mocking laughter. “Haven’t they been stealing your opium? Does it not matter to you that they’re harassing your farmers for their opium?” He leaned closer, arching his eyebrow. “Sometimes I wonder Adam, if you’re even in the right business.”

Adam tensed. This isn’t what he wanted to talk about. “Why do you want to hurt Hazrat Zawahiri?”

“Adam, Adam.” Jahandar clicked his tongue. “Isn’t that my private business? All you need to know is that Hazrat Zawahiri has to be warned to stay away from me and my dealings. I’ll leave you to decide how you are going to do it.”

Adam clenched his fist. He was never supposed to lead Darul-Ilhaam forever. But that didn’t mean he could be reckless. There were innocent lives involved. Some of the men in his organization were possibly the worst assholes he’d met. However, they had wives and children living on Darul-Ilhaam’s properties. And it was his duty to protect them.

“I need to know why, Jahandar,” he said. “Don’t think that just because I need you to contact the Americans, doesn’t mean I’ll bend to every whim of yours.”

“I always knew you were a wily one,” the other man said, arching his eyebrow. “But I am curious to know how you intend to get your arms from the Americans without me?”

“Let me make one thing clear, Jahandar,” Adam grit between his teeth. “The weapons are important but not as much as the people who are under my care. Don’t think you are the only middle-man in the country.”

“If you’re thinking to bypass me and use someone else, then I don’t think you’ll get too far. You know well enough that I am the best in this business.”

“Unfortunately, you have no idea of what I am thinking. Give me a good reason to bust Hazrat Zawahiri’s jaw and I will do it. If you can’t, then I’m afraid our business ends here.” He stared down at the man coldly. His hands shivered from his nerves and he stuffed them quickly into his pockets. What if Jahandar didn’t comply and let him walk out his door without giving him a reason? His pride aside, his entire efforts to get to the Americans would have been in vain.

When the man didn’t answer, his steps faltered towards the door. Was he not going to stop him?
I’ve screwed this
, he thought.
I’ve totally fucked this up.

He had no choice but to walk on towards the door. It was over. He didn’t know if he had the strength to start over. He couldn’t. Especially now that Nora was involved.

“Wait,” Jahandar said quickly before he could reach the door. “I’ll tell you.”

Adam let out a silent relieving puff of air before turning around. “Well?”

“You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Afridi.” Jahandar paused briefly. “The Zawahiris are not just stealing your opium. They’re stealing my clients too. Telling them they could give them better deals than I ever can. When I confronted Hazrat, he smirked at me.” His face grew darker as he clenched his teeth angrily. “He dared me to go ahead and try and stop him. What does he think of me? I am a middle-man,
not
a middle-class man. This baby, Hazrat Zawahiri has no respect for the years I’ve been in this business. I am what’s made every drug lord in this country. I am not to be ignored! I will show him I have made friends in high places. Friends who will stand by me when I am insulted. Friends… like you.”

Adam stiffened. Jahandar was not a friend. But he understood how important respect and fear was to his business. If he lost that, then everything else toppled down like dominoes.

“You could have told me this yesterday,” he said.

“I needed to find out where Hazrat was. Like you said, the Zawahiris are vengeful. I needed to be careful.”

“You have a plan?”

“Yes.” The stout man smiled.

HAPTER 13

“Nora
khor
?” Husna knocked on the door before stepping in.

“Yes, Husna,” Nora answered eagerly, glad to see the woman again.  “Did you see, Adam? When is he coming? I know he may be busy, but that shouldn’t deny him a good bath and a rest.
I
shouldn’t deny him that. I’m sure we could both share this space like civilized individuals without stepping on each other’s toes. Really, he could have just-”

“Nora
khor
,” Husna interrupted quickly. “Adam
lala
, he not here. He gone to Kabul yesterday. I don’t know when he come back.”

“He’s gone to Kabul?” Nora repeated slowly. Her legs quivered, her color draining from her face. “He went yesterday and he never told me.” She glanced up at the woman with a teary glaze in her eyes. “Why did he go?”

“I not know,
khor
.” Husna shrugged her shoulders.

Nora stepped back and turned away. She wanted to hide her tears from Husna.
What did I expect? I mean nothing to him. It’s not like I’m his real wife. Why would he tell me anything?

She clenched her fist against her heart. It hurt so much. She couldn’t be falling for someone like him. She was sensible. She threaded her fingers through her hair. What was happening to her? She was angry that he hadn’t told her he was going to Kabul. Angry and hurt. Why did it matter?

She closed her eyes and chanted under her breath, “It’s none of my business. It doesn’t matter to me. It doesn’t matter to me.”

“
Khor
, are you okay?” Husna asked, her concern for her evident in her eyes.

Nora nodded. “Yes. I will be.”

“Don’t worry,
khor.
All men like that. They do what they want and never tell wife. Mine too like that.”

Nora wiped her tears quickly. She had to occupy herself with something or she’d break down again.

“I’m sorry, I never asked about your life,” she said. “Are you married?”

“Yes,
khor
. I marry at nineteen years old.”

“So young.”

“No, very old. Many girls marry seventeen, eighteen. But I no want. My father is good. He listen to me. Then I meet Waez. He is very handsome and very nice. I like immediately. He like me too and so we get married.”

“Do you have any children?”

Husna picked up an apple from the fruit bowl and began to peel it. “Not yet. But we want many. But Waez say not now. We stay here for little while and save money and then we get own place.”

“Are there others like you?”

“Yes, many women and children. Adam
lala
look after us all.” She cut a piece out of the apple and handed it over to Nora.

Nora took it, holding it in her hand as if she were studying it. “How many of you are there?”

Husna shrugged her shoulders. “Here, maybe thirty. Some also in Kandahar and Paktika. Many places. Without Darul-Ilhaam, our families have no place to go.”

“But you don’t know how the men make their living?”

“Sorry… meaning?” Husna asked confusedly.

“Where do they get the money to feed so many people?”

“Nobody care. Here, we live day to day. We not think what we eat many months from now. Here we only think if we alive tomorrow.”

The woman had tensed. Nora knew she had touched a raw spot in her. She hoped she hadn’t offended her. She was only trying to understand. She bit her lips, wondering if she should continue with her conversation. She bit into her apple, pretending to enjoy it.

“
Khor,
do you want to come and see?” Husna asked. “You come out and meet us.”

Nora gave her a small smile. Meeting these people would definitely quench some of her curiosity. But it was the pain inside her that she really wanted to escape from. The hurt she felt each time she thought of how he had left her; the insensible aching realization that he didn’t care for her at all.

She wandered through the rooms, a small entourage of giggly little girls following her. She smiled at them. Dirt masked their innocent faces. Their clothes were thinned and worn-out. And yet they were able to smile and laugh with hopes of a future.

She stepped into a larger hall filled with gossiping women. Their loud voices and chatter filled the room with an air of cheeriness. But as she moved closer, they quieted, glancing at her as they whispered amongst themselves. A few clicked their tongues with sympathy; others shook their heads. Did they perhaps disapprove of Adam’s marriage to her? She hesitated at her spot, wondering if she should leave. They probably didn’t like her presence. She was a foreigner after all.

“Hello,” one woman said. “Come, come.” She indicated with her hands. “Come and sit here with me.”

Nora sat cautiously next to the woman. She was clearly much older than most of the others in the room. Her head was covered with a scarf, but it did not hide the short strands of her hair peeking out from the sides.

The woman smiled at her. “I’m Paiman. But everyone calls me
anaa
, which means grandmother. Everyone except those old ladies there. It would be insulting if they called me that.”

Nora smiled. “I’m Nora.”

“I know. And so does everyone else here. We were all wondering when you would venture out of your room. I’m glad you’ve finally come to visit us.”

Nora twitched her fingers. She had been afraid. She glanced at the women, each busily involved in their task. Some were sieving stones out from the rice grains, while others kneaded long rolls of dough. Paiman was scooping the seeds out from a bag of bean pods.

“Here,” the older woman said. “Why don’t you help me?” She handed her a handful of bean pods.

Nora took it obediently and began emulating the way she skillfully split the seam holding the carpel of the pod together. This is how the women fed the house. They spent all day preparing for the meal she had luxuriously eaten in her room. How could she have been so selfish? Things here didn’t come pre-packaged or pre-cooked. She glanced at the wood fireplace that sat two large blackened pots. Its contents bubbled, filling the air with its aroma.  A couple of women sat on the floor, stirring it.
The chefs, I presume
, she thought as she carefully emptied the pod of its seed into a bowl.

“Where is Husna?” Paiman asked.

“She said she had to finish a few errands.”

“Has she been looking after you well?”

“Yes.” Nora smiled again. “She has been very kind.”

Paiman nodded. “She is a hard-working girl. Has she been communicating well enough in English?”

“Yes,” Nora said, suddenly aware of the remarkable fluency of the woman’s herself.

“That’s good. She is a good student.”

“Where did you learn to speak English so well?”

“Here.” Paiman grinned. “In this country.”

“Oh,” Nora blurted, not understanding at all of what she meant.

“I come from the 1960s, child. And in those days, our country was no different to yours. Women wore short skirts, freely mingled with men and studied medicine at universities without the fear of being rebuked or criticized. It was a time I shall always cherish in my heart. And now I see my beloved country reduced to mere rubble and stone. It breaks me a thousand times when I think of it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too, child.” Paiman sighed and stood up. “I need to wash this so the women can start preparing to cook it.”

Nora watched her hobble away towards the borehole tap. What could Paiman have achieved if she had been offered the opportunities everyone took for granted back home?

Seeing that she was now sitting alone on the bench, a few of the women rushed over to her. “Hello,” they babbled as they introduced themselves.

“Hello,” Nora said with a smile. She didn’t like being hovered over by them as they poked and prodded her with interest. “Please don’t,” she said sternly but with as much politeness as she could muster.

“You beautiful,” said one woman and then she clicked her tongue sadly.

Nora raised her brow. They were sympathizing with her. Did they perhaps know she was being held captive? Would they help her escape if she asked?

“Adam
lala
in Kabul,” another said.

“I know,” Nora said.

“Yes, very sad. You beautiful.”

Sad? Because Adam was in Kabul? Her temples throbbed rapidly. What were they talking about?

“Layla also beautiful. Adam
lala
like beautiful women. But he marry you, so don’t worry,” the woman continued. “Husbands here have four wives. Much common. No problem.”

“Four wives?” Nora repeated, growing pale. “And what number am I?”

“Number 1,” the women chorused together.

“Layla, number 2. But you number 1,” the first woman said with a laugh. “Good to be number 1.”

Nora froze, clutching the arm of the bench tightly. She heard Paiman scold the women and they immediately scrambled for their lives.

“Nora, are you okay?” she asked. “What have they been telling you?”

Nora shook her head with tears in her eyes. “Nothing that should matter.”

It shouldn’t have mattered. Then why did it hurt inside her? She gasped for air as she clutched her tummy. She bit her lips, trying to stifle her sobs. She was alone now in her room. She could cry all she wanted. Who was she trying to deceive?

Finally, she curled up on her bed, staring into the darkness. She hadn’t wanted to marry Adam. But now that she was, she expected fidelity? What was wrong with her? She should know better than anyone that this marriage was only a farce. Adam could sleep with whoever he wanted.

The pain in her chest returned and she pounded it with her fist. Her tears dampened her face. She should be glad that his affair had given her reason to see sense. She was his captive; not his wife. And she should be focusing on any means of escaping.