Capture the Wind for Me (6 page)

“Hey, Clarissa. Wanna see some computer games?”

“Sure!”

“Your brother here?” Derek asked me. “He's probably bored as all get out.”

The perfect excuse to make my exit. “Probably. I'll find him and send him on back.”

“You can come back, too.”

Oh, right. As if I wanted to be in Derek King's bedroom. Besides, I had more important things to do. “I'll see.”

I found Robert near the food, stuffing his face. “Go see Derek,” I told him. “He's got a bunch of games on his computer to show you.”

Robert considered the invitation. “Okay.” He took a handful of cookies to carry along.

I returned to the living room. Daddy still talked to Mr. Clangerlee. Katherine said something cute to her admirers, then glanced sideways. At that moment, Daddy turned aside from his conversation. Their eyes met. Katherine smiled at him, slow and sultry.

Uh-oh. I had to act fast. As Katherine edged toward Daddy, all I could think to do was beat her to her destination. Trotting past her, I caught Daddy's hand. “Come check out Derek's computer!” I cried. “We gotta get one.”

“Uh, okay.” He looked at Katherine with an apologetic smile. He must have questioned my motives, but he didn't show it. Good grief, I'd never been interested in computers before in my life.

Soon we hung around Derek's computer, watching Robert play a game about landing a spaceship on Mars.

“What do I do?” Robert demanded as a warning flashed that his craft was low on fuel.

“Go over here”—Derek pointed to the corner of the screen—“and fuel up. While you're there, pick up some extra ammunition 'cause your enemies are gonna show up in a minute.”

Before long the room filled with the sound of laser guns and dying aliens. Robert's fingers jabbed and jerked over the controls. Daddy and Clarissa started shouting, “Watch out, over here!” and “Get that one!” Even I began to lose myself in the game. Derek's long fingers jumped here and there across the screen, warning of pitfalls, his body taut with concentration.

“Shoot, shoot, shoot!” he cried. Robert streaked his ship through asteroids, gunning until all enemies fell away.

“Okay, super.” Derek punched Robert lightly on the shoulder. “Now go dock to get more fuel.”

We all took a deep breath in the momentary lag. “This is some game,” Daddy said to Derek.

“Yeah.” Derek snatched his glasses off and wiped the lenses with his shirt. “Games like this can teach stuff too, you know. All the math involved in the calculations of time and distance.”

“Let's get one, Daddy,” Robert said, his eyes glued to the screen.

“Do you have a computer?” Derek looked from Daddy to me. “It'll need to have lots of memory and a pretty decent graphics card to play this game.”

Vaguely, I heard Daddy answer that like most of Bradleyville, we were behind the times and still hadn't bought a home computer. But I could only stare at Derek. I'd never seen him without his glasses before. Suddenly his small gray eyes loomed large and warm. He looked so different. Not only normal but actually
good.

For a split second, his gaze locked with mine. His fingers stilled. I blinked away and focused again on the screen, wondering at the level of craziness to which I'd just descended. Glory, my brain must be overloaded. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Derek consider his glasses as if seeing them for the first time. Then he cleared his throat and jammed them back on his nose.

“Okay,” he said to Robert, “ready to go at it?”

Within minutes, we hollered like idiots again.

I didn't even see Katherine enter the room. I'd turned my back to the computer to clack through Derek's games, which sat in a plastic holder on a bookcase. Naturally, Katherine chose that moment to make her stealthy entrance.

“Hi!” I heard Clarissa sing, but it didn't register. By the time I turned around, Katherine stood behind Clarissa and next to Daddy, one long-nailed hand resting on my sister's shoulder as if it belonged there.

“That's it, Robert, you got it!” She turned to Daddy. “Derek's been trying to teach me this game all week. I keep getting killed off.”

“Reverse, reverse!” Derek yanked back an imaginary control stick.

“I wouldn't have thought you were the spaceship type,” Daddy remarked.

“Are you kidding?” Katherine's eyes sparkled. “This stuff's a blast!”

Daddy's lips curved. Suddenly I thought that computer game must be cursed. Look at the strange things happening around it. Katherine's gaze slid past Daddy to me. She offered me a smile of tentative friendship, without the slightest hint of complicity. And I disliked her even more for it.

“Don't we have to go, Daddy?” I abandoned the box of games.

Daddy turned to me, clearly annoyed with my lack of subtlety. “Jackie, be still; we have a while yet. Besides”—his tone lightened—“I'm hopin' Derek will give me a chance to play.”

“Oh, sure,” Derek replied, eyes on the screen. His chin jutted out. “There, Robert, go there!”

Today, I understand Daddy's remark as a mere indication of his attraction to Katherine—and nothing more. But at the time his words cut right through me.
How could he put me down like that in front of her?
I thought. I knew he'd made the final comment for her sake—as flimsy proof that he, too, knew how to have a good time. In other words, caught between Katherine and me, Daddy had chosen her.

What that thought did to me, after how close Daddy and I had been since Mama's death. Something heavy and dull balled in my stomach. I swallowed hard.

Katherine didn't look at me. But in the tactful turning of her attention to Clarissa, I knew she understood. The thought that she, a stranger, could so easily see through my daddy—and through me—only made me feel worse. As Daddy focused on the computer, seemingly unaware of what he'd done, my muscles turned wooden.

“I should get back to my other guests,” Katherine said quietly and slipped away. Even after she left, the glisten of her presence lingered.

We were among the last to leave.

Daddy and Clarissa had each played the game. Derek offered me a turn, but I would have none of it. By the time we left Derek's bedroom, Robert had persuaded Daddy to buy a computer. My laconic brother talked a blue streak, asking Derek which other games we should buy and on and on.

“Games are just the beginning, Robert,” Derek told him. “Wait till you see all the cool stuff you can do on the Internet.”

“I don't know a lot about settin' computers up,” Daddy said to Derek. “Any chance you might lend some help?”

“Sure.” Derek rubbed his thumbs and fingers, his head cocked at that odd angle. He hadn't looked me in the eye since that moment his glasses had been off.

Great, I thought.
Just great.
Derek King in our house. Most likely with Katherine on his heels.

I watched as Daddy said goodbye to Katherine, giving her a brief hug, complimenting her on the food. Her smile at him dazzled. I took my leave of her with stiff politeness, grazing her face with the barest of glances. As the four of us walked to our car I remained silent, aware of how miserably I'd failed and knowing deep within that it would cost us dearly.

chapter 6

I
n case you hadn't guessed, change in Bradleyville flows at the pace of thick syrup. And most in Bradleyville would say they like things that way.

As long as I can remember, the bench outside the post office has been a favorite resting spot for the older folks. The IGA has sported the same brickwork over its entrance, although some of the new bricks that repaired damage from the tornado stood out lighter in color. The bank still has the sign in one window that reads
Banking with us makes cents.
The hardware store offers a sale on gardening supplies every spring and lightbulbs every winter. And to this day Bradleyville customs and folks' way of talking depict an odd conglomeration of the present and many years past.

All the same, one of the biggest life changes in Bradleyville happens amazingly fast and typically at a young age. Love. Which leads to marriage.

In Bradleyville, folks don't go out with one person this week and someone else the next, not even teenagers. Flirt, perhaps, within respectable boundaries. But then, if you care at all about your reputation—a mighty important thing in Bradleyville—you'll choose the apple of your eye and start polishing. When all is nice and shiny—usually not long after you graduate from high school (unless you go off to college)—you marry. And that's that.

By Bradleyville standards, a twenty-nine-year-old single woman was an old maid. Something had to be sorely wrong with her. Too bossy, too temperamental, or maybe just plain mean. And she wouldn't look so great, either. Which is why you'll find few unmarried men that age in town—the female pickin's fall off at a morbid rate.

And then came Katherine May King.

If she'd stayed in Bradleyville, she'd have married long before. She'd have two or three children by now, teach a Sunday school class, and make heart-shaped cookies on Valentine's Day. Even I would grudgingly admit that Katherine seemed destined for more than Bradleyville could offer. And apparently, she'd managed to collect a wide range of experiences in the great big world. So I had to wonder—
why
had she returned?

Nobody else seemed to be asking this question. In the snatches of conversation I heard, an assumption carried the day: the prodigal daughter had finally come to her senses. For the townspeople, the question wasn't why she'd returned, but why she (or anyone else, for that matter) would ever want to leave Bradleyville in the first place.

If anyone else did wonder, their doubts were apparently silenced by Katherine's staying after church one Sunday to talk to Pastor Beekins. Tears ran down her cheeks as the pastor and she disappeared through a door and into his office. “After long years on my own, I needed to get right with Jesus,” she told folks later, her face radiant, “and I'm glad to say he welcomed me back.”

And so, despite her bright lipstick and nails, the whole town soon embraced Katherine. The older ladies fawned over her like shepherdesses finding a lost little lamb. “I just know how
glad
your mama is to have you back!” The younger married women subconsciously began to imitate her in ways that ranged from subtle to flagrant. They seemed to stand a little straighter, capture some of her glide in their walks. I saw Miss Ellie Hawkins carrying her baby downtown on an ordinary weekday with her hair done in a French twist. I stood behind Miss Mary Lell at the dime store checkout and watched her count out dollars with painted pink nails. Apparently, red still proved a bit much.

The men remained another matter. The elderly ones flat out flirted with Katherine. The younger ones slid sideways glances at her during church when their wives weren't looking.

And then there was Daddy. The man who'd lost his beloved wife and now struggled to raise three children. The Christian man who remained kind and gentle, and ever ethical in his dealings at the bank. The man who so deserved a beautiful, loving partner after all he'd endured. The man who, apparently, found Katherine May King remarkably attractive.

Bradleyville saw. Bradleyville knew. A few lingering glances between Daddy and Katherine, their few brief touches, and townsfolk assumed it wouldn't be long until Miss Jessie sewed another wedding dress.

Most astounding to me, in the weeks following the Kings' at-home, Daddy didn't stand up and say the town had it all wrong. I just could not understand. Yes, he'd endured much. Yes, he'd lost Mama. So had I.

And no one could ever replace her.

To me, who straddled the worlds of teenager and adult, thirty-five seemed
far
too old to think about dating. There I stood, yearning for my first kiss, while Daddy and Katherine exchanged lingering glances the likes of those between Alison and Jacob in algebra class. I could not grasp this. The world had turned upside down—and no one but me seemed to care.

“Come on,” even Alison said one day, “she's so pretty, and she looks so
fun.
Just think of all the things you could do together.” Clarissa openly adored Katherine. As for Robert, a few words from him about how “cool” she was spoke volumes.

I wish I could say that my fear of Daddy's being hurt is what fueled me most in those first few weeks. I did carry suspicions—a vague sense that something sat amiss. But looking back, I readily admit that I, full of dreams and desire for passion in my own right, could not accept the unfolding of romance in my daddy's life while it cruelly passed me by. What's more, Katherine's presence always left me feeling that God must have created me in an uninspired moment. The shining star of Katherine May King dimmed whatever luster I possessed.

But Daddy, in those halcyon days of new attraction and the beckoning of promise, found pleasure in allowing his subtle but sure pursuit by Katherine May King.

And the town looked on, smiling.

chapter 7

A
ll four of us wanted the computer in our own bedrooms. Which left Daddy with no choice but to put it on a desk in the corner of the family room. Daddy unpacked it on a Thursday evening, and Derek came over to help with the setup. Katherine did not trail along, although I suspected she wanted to. I had to admit to her sense of propriety. Talking to Daddy at church, smiling at him when she came into the bank, was one thing; crossing our threshold quite another. This was
my
turf.

I made a point of studying in my bedroom while Derek worked in our house. I'd felt awkward around him ever since the at-home. Not because of that fleeting moment of weirdness between us; that I'd long since chalked up to the surrounding anxiety of the moment. But because of the obvious growing attraction between his half sister and my father. What had Derek and I to say to one another? What
could
we say?