Caribbean Christmas (13 page)

A mechanical voice sputtered over the loudspeaker announcing the destination, continuing in handful of different languages.

“Come back home.” Johannes held out his hand as if they hadn’t spent the trip arguing, his confused expression the only tell that he’d even heard anything she’d said.

“I’m going home.” She hitched her bag higher on her shoulder and took the handle of her duffle. “As long as you own my father’s house, it will never be my home.”

“Hannes, this thing is a total wreck.” Harm thunked his fist against the weathered hull of the dory, making his presence known in the workshop. “I’ve decided it is high time you stop moping and come with me to the Drum. The music has already started, drinks are flowing and I have four beauties on the line for us to reel in.”

“Pass.” Joe ran his hand along the newly varnished oars of the dory he’d dedicated the last month to. No outboard motor needed on this girl.

“Four, Hannes. I am all for multi-tasking, but three is my limit. Come take one or two off my hands.” Harm looked down the length of the twenty-footer and wrinkled his nose. Even after two years on the island, he’d yet to fall in love with sailing. Kite-boarding and surfing, sure. But open water had yet to call to him.

Joe turned from the hull and stared at his brother’s tilted grin. He should be at least tempted to go. Good Lord, had Saskia broken his libido too?

“How long is this going to go on? All you are interested in is manual labor. It’s like you’re punishing yourself for something. You did nothing wrong. Let Sassy and Dutch work out their own shit.” He crossed his arms over his bare chest, his words more menacing than his expression.

“They have.” Joe turned back to his salvage project, testing the oars in their leather straps. Sass had teased about using a motor, but with the dory he wouldn’t have that option. “I’m thinking of going to New York.”

Harm barked a laugh. “Why the hell would you do that? You want to check up on your ex-wife? Are you some kind of masochist?”

“Susan is in Paris.” Even the mention of her name sent a wash of shame over him. He’d loved the way she’d loved him or pretended to. He hadn’t seen the infidelity coming until his father had smacked him with it in front of his brothers.

“Why do you know that? You shouldn’t give two shits what the succubus does or where she does it.”

He couldn’t argue with that, and yet, he still answered when she called. Still talked with her mother on holidays. Marriage was a binding thing, and even when it was irreparably broken, it rarely severed completely.

He filled his lungs with the scent of sawdust and varnish swirling about the shop. “Saskia is going to New York. Dutch is worried about her in the city alone.”

“For fuck’s sake. What is the problem with you? When a girl says no, it means no. Move on.”

Logical, and yet it didn’t feel right.

“I don’t walk away from things just because they don’t come easy.” He grabbed a rag to polish the patina off the antique wench.

“If that is some kind of dig, you’ll need a bigger shovel.”

He shook his head. “I don’t like that she hates me. I’m trying to adjust my sails and follow the wind, but it’s just not working.”

Harm shrugged. “This is the part where we get all mushy and I’m supposed to tell you either you’re better off without her, or give you some go-get-your-girl pep talk. I love you, you know that, but I am not that guy. We lived our whole lives with a man who made our decisions for us. I’m not going to be him.”

That was helpful.
Johannes set down the towel and curled his hands over the side of the boat. “He would tell me to forget her. And I am trying to keep her out of my head. I’m doing a rebuild on a boat that washed ashore when it would be faster and cheaper to start from scratch. I’m trying to make it seem like nothing happened while I feel like one of those cartoon animals hovering off a cliff waiting for gravity to have its way with me.”

He hung his head, his stomach rolling. So much for getting the words out being cathartic. His chest ached from the inside, as if his heart really was bruised and broken.

Harm cleared his throat. “I don’t know what to tell you, Hannes. That girl has been trouble since the day she was born.”

“She didn’t do anything wrong.” He swallowed, drawing back inside himself.

“She hit me for one.” He rubbed his jaw. “You both did. And she rails at you for what? Helping Dutch? You should have gotten a proper thank you, not Miss Ungrateful riding off on her high horse.”

“I hated you for telling her the way you did. But if I’m going to forgive you for being brutal, I have to forgive her for feeling deceived.” He looked at his brother and smiled. Every time life threw them a curve or plunged them over a dark edge, they’d managed to find their path again together. Even with his divorce.

“Forgive and forget, brother. Come with me to the Drum. There’s enough beer to help shake her off, the music will drown out anything playing through your mind, and two blondes to keep your hands plenty busy.”

He shook his head and then scrubbed at his face. Stubble scratched his palms, reminding him he hadn’t been home in a few days, instead spending the nights working on the boat until he couldn’t keep his eyes open and collapsed into his office chair. The hammock hanging outside the shop would have been more comfortable, but he couldn’t bring himself to get in one.

He hated having to tiptoe around Dutch. But the old man was so proud of Saskia, she came up in even the most mundane conversations. She’d been kind enough to leave him to get over her in peace, but her father twisted the knife without even knowing he held it.

“Boys!” Dutch’s voice boomed from the shop entrance. His cheery grin widened as he neared. “Declan confirmed another investor for the Estate. We’re breaking ground as soon as we can, and he’s coming to manage the project full time.”

They nodded in unison, truly happy that Dutch’s gamble would pay off sooner rather than later.

“The Estate will have a grand opening in time for the high season.”

Joe shared a concerned glance with his brother. “Is that even possible?”

Dutch nodded. “Anguilla needs this. We’ll make it happen. We’re all tired of sitting around, waiting for luck to find us. Now that Dec has secured the funding, we’ll make our own luck. We may even start seeing returns that first season.”

“I hope so.” Harm clapped the older man on the shoulder and moved past him. “You coming, Hannes?”

“You’re on your own, Mannus. Go make yourself a legend.”

Harm gave a mock bow and Joe found himself laughing for the first time in far too long. He set to putting his tools in order, intending to head back up the hill and close himself in his room before Dutch made it home. Though he hadn’t managed to get much sleep on the bed he’d loved Saskia so thoroughly on.

“Something bothering you, son?”

He heard the spritz of two bottles being opened and turned to find Dutch offering him a Heineken. He took it, wishing he were a better actor. “You know how I get when I have a project going.”

Dutch gave the dory a sidelong glance. “I’m surprised it’s not finished.”

He pulled back his shoulders. “It was little more than a rotting carcass when it came ashore.”

“And you still thought it was worth saving.”

“You said yourself it was probably a hundred years old. Some things deserve respect.” He held Dutch’s warm blue gaze, wanting to ask him for guidance. But Dutch was the last person who could give advice on women. His wife lived in a different country.

“Ah, some things are worth saving and others better left to drift away in peace.”

He chuckled. “You’re just wishing you had her for yourself.”

“Probably. Once we’re square, I’m going to build a ship, every piece myself. Think this crate will be out of the shop by then?”

“You could do it now. Family is more important than money. Build your hotel, build your boat.”

Dutch took a long pull from his bottle. “When your father came out one year, he tried to give me business advice. Double your fleet, double your prices, hire captains to run your ships for you. I couldn’t see why I’d want to do that.

“His answer was so that I’d have more time to do what I wanted to do. More sailing, diving, relaxing in the sun.” Dutch looked around the shop, sawdust on the dirt floor, tools and workbenches filling the giant space. “I’ve never worked a day in this building. Money is a means to an end, son, but it’s not the end. I’ve been trying to tell that to Sassy lately.”

It always came back to her. “Is she having trouble with the distributor?”

“More like trouble with her own success. She hasn’t been happy.”

Johannes drained his beer to keep from asking more. He didn’t want to know, didn’t want to be tempted to go to her only to be kicked in the teeth again.

“I think she misses you.”

Joe choked on the beer, coughing and sputtering against his forearm.

“You took her to Beachside.” Dutch shrugged. “Della told me how protective you were of her, of me, and I appreciate that.”

He coughed anew, erotic images of that night flashing through his mind.

“You have my blessing, son. If it means something.”

“Dutch, it does, it would. Maybe someday it will.” He’d promised her that he wouldn’t tell her father, and he wanted to keep his word, at least in that.

“You know, her mother is amazing. She can dream things into reality. She says to picture what you want, and then work backwards from there to get where you need to be.” He gave a sad chuckle. “That never really worked out in my favor. I’ve tried a million ways, but I don’t give up. Every time I try I think, this time I’ll say what she needs to hear.”

“How do you take that, though? The constant rejection.”

Dutch set his empty bottle on the bench. “You take it like a man.”

Chapter Seventeen

He lifted his hand to rap on the door, then dropped it. For the third time. His stomach rolled and dipped as if there were an MMA fight going on inside.
Enough already.

He knocked three times, then pressed his fist to his mouth and counted the beats of his heart. He’d gone over this a billion times, but every time she’d been home. What was he going to do if she didn’t answer the door? Sit on her front steps until she drove up? What if she took one look at him, threw the car in reverse and left?

The door opened as far as the chain would allow before he could dream up a worse scenario. A dark-eyed brunette looked up at him warily.

“Is Saskia here?” He rubbed at the tightness in his chest, his heart pinching with every beat.

The brunette arched a brow, unimpressed with his conversational prowess.

“You’re Holly, right? She said you’re her best person.”

She smiled at that. “And you are?”

“Who’s at the door?” Saskia’s voiced lilted towards him, his ears catching it like a song.

“You’re him, aren’t you?” Holly narrowed her eyes and looked him up and down through the gap in the door.

He nodded and she rolled her eyes. “It’s for you, Sass.”

The door closed, then reopened. Holly slipped her feet into a pair of sandals in the entry and pushed her long brown hair behind her ears. “You have five minutes, tops. Whatever you do, don’t be stupid.” She grabbed some keys from a hook by the door. “I’m going to go check the mail,” she yelled into the entryway.

“Holly, wait,” Saskia called out, “I already did.”

Joe stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind him. His steps were silent on the carpet as he made it to the living room.

Saskia started to scream, then covered her mouth and stared like her eyes were going to fall out of her head. She blinked and lowered her hand, pulling on the hem of her pink T-shirt,
I’m a hooker
printed on the front next to a ball of yarn and a crochet hook.

“Is Dutch okay?” She grabbed the back of a worn leather couch for support.

He nodded. “Sorry, yeah. Great. Trying to catch sting rays mating on the research vessel.”

She sighed and picked up a bright green throw pillow that she’d probably crocheted herself. “Good. You freaked me right out the way you came in here.”

“Sorry. That didn’t happen when I was practicing this in my head.” He moved towards her, noticing the packing boxes. “Going somewhere?”

She nodded, then stared at the floor. “We found a studio in New York. It’s not far from the company that contracted the brand. Couldn’t be more perfect for us to set things up for our meetings there.”

“That’s convenient.” He reached for her, threaded his hand in hers and for the first time in a month was able to take a deep breath. “Can I come?”

She looked up at him, her honey blue eyes lit with amusement. “To New York? Lola would hate it. The water is too rough. And cold.” She shivered for effect.

“I need to be where you are.” His voice grated, but he pushed on. “I miss you in ways that are ridiculous. And I don’t care that you might think it’s weak or stupid, but I need to be with you. Everything else will work itself out as long as I can love you. That’s all that matters. Not where we are on the globe, but that we’re there together.”