Caribbean Cruising (23 page)

And I thought about Ryan, giving up the opportunity to join them for something that was interesting, but hardly exciting.

He pulled his horse up to mine.

"Well, it isn't exactly scuba diving," he said.

"I was sorta thinking the same thing. Are you too terribly bored?"

"Not at all. How's your ankle?"

"It's feeling better. I feel so stupid—"

"You shouldn't."

I shook my head. "I can't believe you're hanging out with me when you could be having such a good time with all the other people we've met. I think Walter owes you another cruise."

"You think I'm here with you because of Walter?" he asked.

"Well, yeah. He asked you to look after me—"

"And you told me that you didn't want to be looked after."

I shook my head. "Then I don't get it, Ryan. Why are you here?"

"Because I want to be."

* * *

Because he wanted to be.

I sat in a lounge chair on my balcony, gazing out at the quickly darkening sky, thinking about Ryan's words. In typical Lindsay Darnell style, I hadn't known what to say, how to respond.

Because part of me was afraid to read too much into his words. To hope that he'd grown to like me as much as I'd come to like him. Ryan who knew about my stupid list and hadn't tried to take advantage of it. Ryan who always seemed to be there right when I needed him.

Except tonight.

I figured he was out with the gang. Brooke had stopped by to let me know that everyone was going to fill up on margaritas at Cruisin' tonight. And that she'd see me tomorrow.

I didn't blame them. The gang had been great to come party with me last night, but I couldn't expect them to do that again tonight. Everyone was here to create memories.

The ship had left port near twilight. Tomorrow we'd be in Cancun. I'd decided that if I rested my ankle mhtml:file://C:\Program Files\eMule\Incoming\+ Hawthorne, Rachel - Caribbean Cruising....

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one more night, tomorrow I should be able to hit the beach for some sun and fun.

I heard the sliding of a glass door, and glanced over toward Ryan's balcony. He stepped out of his room.

Wow, did he look hot tonight. He wasn't dressed up. Just wearing a black T-shirt and jeans. But it was obvious that he was freshly showered and shaved. Hair was perfect. Everything was perfect.

He did that familiar hitching up of a corner of his mouth, and my stomach knotted up like it always did.

It occurred to me that maybe I should have blown off my search for the perfect guy to sleep with and simply spent more time with Ryan—even if only as a friend.

Brooke had been fun, no doubt about it. But I also really enjoyed Ryan's company. For the first time in my life, I thought maybe I finally understood that old saying about not seeing the forest for the trees.

I'd been so busy searching for Mr. Perfect that I might have missed my opportunity to hang around with Mr. Fun-and-Sexy. And our paths were bound to cross in the future since he was sorta family. And we would have had great memories to fondly talk about. I was beginning to think I'd really blown it.

"I knocked on your door," he said.

"I didn't hear it."

"How's your ankle?"

I shrugged. "I still can't dance on it."

He grinned. "So what's the problem? You couldn't dance before."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "I dance great for your information."

"You sure did at the wedding reception. Want some company?"

Did I ever. But it was unfair to him…

"My party isn't nearly as fun as the ones taking place on other parts of the ship."

"But it could be."

He held up a bottle of champagne and two flute glasses. I wondered if the champagne was the bottle he'd snitched the first night. Suddenly he was climbing over the railing that separated our balconies.

"Ryan!"

With a grin, he settled into the chair beside my lounger. "It was quicker than walking around."

"You're crazy," I told him.

"Crazy about you."

My heart thudded against my chest, and Ryan looked out toward the horizon as though embarrassed by what he'd said.

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I told myself that it was just a comeback line, didn't mean anything. I mean the truth was in his actions.

His actions.

While everyone else was off partying, he was here on my balcony.

Bringing the party to me last night.

Carrying me from the Aztec ruins.

Saving me from a smooth-talker.

Snorkeling with me.

Tossing me into the pool at Dunn's River Falls.

A movie…

The list seemed to go on and on. There was that missing the forest for the trees thing again. I'd been so busy looking for someone to have a fling with that I hadn't noticed what was right in front of me.

A friend. If not a lover.

"So what are you going to do tonight?" he finally asked.

"I'm not going to dance. That's for sure. Thought I'd watch the stars come out. Maybe read. Or start planning the rest of my summer."

He glanced over at me and grinned. "You're big into planning, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I like to have goals, I like to know where I'm going. I like to have accomplishments that I can tick off."

"Like sleeping with a guy?"

I shook my head in wonder. "I can't believe I told you about that the first night."

"You were a little tipsy."

"More than a little." I shrugged. "At least I got to check it off."

"You did?"

I nodded. "Yeah, right after that first night when I
slept
with you."

He laughed. "Ah, slept, slept."

"Right. But I've discovered that it shouldn't have been on my list at all," I conceded. "I'm thinking that it should be spontaneous, unplanned. You know why?"

"Why?"

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"My list was all the things I wanted to be sure to experience on this cruise. I did almost all of them. I should feel a sense of accomplishment. Right?"

"I'd think so."

I shook my head. "The crazy thing is, for everything on my list that I checked off as accomplished, the things I remember most are all the moments that weren't planned, that weren't on my list."

"Like twisting your ankle?"

"Like having an unexpected party in my cabin."

"You did look like you were having a good time."

"Why aren't you out partying with the others tonight?"

He shrugged. "I'll admit I started connecting with the group at the end, but my main reason for being with them isn't there any longer."

"What was that?"

"You."

"Because you need to keep an eye on me?"

"I told you this afternoon that's not the reason I'm hanging around." He shifted in the chair and faced me.

"It bothers you that I'm Walter's godson."

I nodded. "Yeah, it does."

"Why?"

"Because if things don't work out, it would be awkward whenever our paths crossed."

"So it's crossed your mind that there could be something between us."

"Sometimes, I think about it," I admitted. "But I know that you think you have to baby-sit me—"

"Lindsay, I've never baby-sat in my life, and I'm certainly not going to do it on a cruise."

"But you said—"

"So what am I going to do? Tell a chick who's looking for someone to become a check mark on her to do list that I'm hanging around her and her newfound friends because I think she's cute?"

My heart did a hard slam against my ribs.

"You think I'm cute?"

"From the minute I saw you. But I don't want to be a check mark. Task completed. Move on to the next mhtml:file://C:\Program Files\eMule\Incoming\+ Hawthorne, Rachel - Caribbean Cruising....

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one."

"It wouldn't have been like that," I said quietly. But I could see where I might have given the impression that it would have been. I shook my head. "But, Ryan, other than when we were parasailing, you've never said or done anything that made me think you were truly interested in me."

"I know. I didn't figure Walter would appreciate the direction my thoughts were going in when it came to his new stepdaughter. He brought me on this cruise to be a traveling buddy, someone to keep you from being alone…not someone to get you into the sack."

I found it difficult to breathe.

"So you thought about getting me into the sack?"

"Oh, yeah. Then I'd get so mad because you were throwing yourself at some of these scumbags—"

"I never threw myself at a scumbag! I was experimenting, testing the waters. Looking for Mr. Right."

"And he was right next door, all along."

I scoffed. "Ha! You wish."

"Yeah, I did," he said quietly.

I didn't know what to say. What to do. There was such sincerity in his voice. Such, well, yearning…like maybe he really had been hoping all along that I would be to him what I'd been wishing he'd be to me.

He stood. "Well, guess I'll go see what's shaking at the clubs."

Reaching out, I took his hand. "Ryan…"

My mind was a jumble of thoughts and emotions. What to say to make him stay? Or should I let him go?

"I didn't think you liked me," I blurted.

"Yeah, well, you were wrong." He pulled me to my foot, my good foot, and wrapped one arm around me, holding me against him so balancing on one leg wasn't such an effort.

And then he kissed me. Tenderly. Warmly.

I felt as though I was soaring, like when we were parasailing, only my feet were on the ground. Or at least my good foot was. The other was raised, like a flamingo.

But I didn't care. I only cared about this kiss that felt so right, so perfect, and that I knew I wanted more than anything in the world—and more than once.

Ryan drew back, then pressed his forehead against mine.

"Tomorrow is our last stop. Cancun. Do you think we might see where things go if I forget that you're Walter's stepdaughter and you forget that I'm his godson?"

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"Yeah," I said quietly. "I'd definitely like to see where things go."

CHAPTER 29

Cancun Day Nine

W
earing swim trunks and a muscle shirt, Ryan showed up at my door minutes after we docked. I was wearing a spaghetti strap tank and shorts over my bathing suit. I had a canvas tote that carried all my beach essentials, and a netted bag that had my snorkeling equipment in it. Ryan took both from me.

Then he took my hand. I was nervous, excited, scared, and happier than I'd been the entire cruise.

"Where are we meeting Brooke?" he asked.

"We're not. She called this morning, and said she had some other plans. Which works for me."

"Works for me too." He leaned down and kissed me. "So, are you ready?"

Smiling, I nodded. "Definitely."

The white sandy beaches and the blue, blue waters of Cancun were just what the doctor and Cupid ordered. We'd spread our beach towels over lounge chairs beneath umbrellas. I set my tote bag nearby. I was wearing a water-repellant wristband with a zippered enclosure inside, which I'd placed anything of real importance: money, the key to my room, my I.D.

"You want to snorkel first?" Ryan asked.

"Sure."

We got ready. Everything seemed so different this time. Before I'd been a novice, learning the ropes.

Not that I was totally experienced but I was more familiar with what I was doing. Plus this time I didn't have Jake around to distract me. Or Brooke. Or anyone else.

It was just Ryan and me.

My ankle was feeling much better. I tried not to put too much pressure on it, but I was fairly certain it would be fine in the water.

As soon as we were geared up, Ryan and I headed for the water. I still felt funny walking over the sand with flippers, but I was also excited about exploring the corral reefs and seeing the brightly colored sea creatures.

We got to the water's edge, turned at the same time so we could back our way into the water, and took each other's hand. Only there was another difference this time. We weren't holding hands for balance.

We were holding hands because we wanted to be connected.

Once we were snorkeling, gliding through the water, we continued to hold hands. We pointed out various fish and crabs and urchins to each other. It was a more deeply sharing experience than we'd had mhtml:file://C:\Program Files\eMule\Incoming\+ Hawthorne, Rachel - Caribbean Cruising....

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previously. Although we'd shared the world beneath the sea before, it just had a different feel this time that was difficult to explain.

Everything seemed brighter, more colorful, more alive—as though I was viewing every aspect of this special world differently. I wasn't thinking about my to do list or what I needed to check off.

I was simply enjoying the moment, enjoying being with Ryan. It was so magical, and I was glad that this last day before the ship turned toward home that I had Ryan all to myself.

When we'd seen all we wanted to see, we headed back to shore. As soon as we were out of the water, I sat on the sand and removed my flippers. "That was awesome," I said.

"I never get tired of snorkeling," Ryan said. "It's such a fascinating world."

He stood and helped me get to my feet. "How's your ankle?"

"It just has a little twinge, so I might even be able to dance tonight."

"Great."

We walked back to where our loungers waited. I dropped my gear onto my bag and stretched out on my stomach so the heat, sun, and breeze could dry me off. It felt wonderful.

"Want something to drink?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, I'll take a margarita."

"I'll be right back."