Caroline's Secret (20 page)

At first Trey looked confused, then realization dawned. He crumpled into the chair across from Emma, staring at her, then Caroline in turn. “I don’t know what to say . . . I—”

“Perhaps the two of you should take care of this someplace more private.”

At least Don Harper still had his wits about him.

“Jah,”
Caroline said.

Trey agreed. “We can go to my apartment. It’s close.”

Her heart started thumping double time in her chest. This was what she had been waiting for; this was what she had come home for. And now that it was really happening, she was more nervous than she had ever been in her life.

She said a small prayer of thanks and another for understanding and wisdom. When she was done she realized that the two men had been discussing plans.

“Is that okay with you, Caroline?” Don Harper asked.

“What?” She blinked several times, trying to get her bearings back.

“Trey has offered to take you home this evening. I want to make sure that you agree before I leave.”

Take her home.
Jah
, they had a lot to talk about. Perhaps it was best that he did take her home. To her
grossdaadi’s haus
or her
elders’
? Maybe it was time for him to meet her parents, though she had no idea what their talk would render for the future. “
Jah
, that will be fine.”

Don seemed reluctant, but then his shoulders relaxed a bit and he stood. “You have my number if you need me.”

Caroline dipped her chin, unable to do more by way of response. So many emotions clogged her throat: remorse, regret, anxiety, hope.

“I’ll get Emma’s car seat so you can put it in your car.”

She hadn’t even thought about that. Trey looked stricken as well and paled a bit beneath his tan.

Caroline gathered Emma as Don Harper packed up his computer and Trey said a hasty good-bye to his friends. Caroline tried not to stare and see if he was with another girl. As far as she could tell they were just a group of friends out to get a cup of coffee and relax a little. At least Trey had gotten his coffee.

Don was more practiced at installing the car seat. He had it in Trey’s backseat in no time while Trey and Caroline watched. She could feel Trey’s gaze flick to her and Emma. Then she knew the exact second when he looked away.

“Danki.”
She ducked into the back of Trey’s fast-looking car and buckled Emma inside. The car smelled like him, like his clothes and his aftershave. It was a scent she would forever associate with him. She resisted the urge to close her eyes and simply breathe in the memories. Instead, she dug around in her purse for the money to pay Don.

Trey beat her to it, handing Don a folded up one-hundred-dollar bill.

Don started to protest, but Trey would hear none of it. “Thank you for helping Caroline find me.”

Don Harper turned to Caroline one last time. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

She nodded, the strings of her prayer
kapp
brushing across her neck. She shivered, all her senses heightened since she’d spotted Trey.

Don hesitated for a moment more, then turned to go back to his car.

Caroline was left alone with Trey.

Trey’s hands were shaking when he started the car. How fortunate that his father had gotten him the sporty sedan instead of the two-seater coupe that he had originally wanted. Where would he have put his daughter?

My daughter.

A chill ran over him. His daughter. He had a daughter, and he didn’t even know her name. He was sure Caroline had mentioned it in the coffee shop, but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember now.

He cleared his throat and cut his gaze toward the woman seated to his right. “Does she have a name?” What a stupid question. But how was he supposed to know how to act? It wasn’t every day a man was told he had a daughter he never knew about.

“Her name is Emma.”

Emma
.

There was no question as to whether she was his. She had his coloring, his dark hair, his gray eyes, his dimple in her tiny little chin.

How strange to look into his own eyes set in the face of another.

A hundred questions swirled around inside his head, intertwining and rendering him speechless. There were so many things he wanted to ask, so many things he needed to know. The very first being why she had never told him. But given the shaking in his hands and the heavy flow of Nashville traffic, it was best to wait until they got back to his apartment before they started this long-overdue conversation.

“He seems very protective of you,” he said instead. Trey wasn’t sure how he felt about the way the other man hovered over Caroline and Emma. Something in the way Don Harper catered to them made him feel as if he was an intruder in what should have been his own life.

“He’s a
gut
man.”

“And he’s just a friend?” He chanced a look in her direction. She was watching the road with a mixture of nervousness and fear.

He realized he was driving a little too fast on the busy streets. Caroline wasn’t used to riding in a car or being in such a large city. At least he didn’t think she was. He had no idea where she had been for the past two years.

She was still dressed as Amish, the same way she had been dressed when they had forged their forbidden relationship.

He tamped down the questions and suspicions and left those for when they got to his apartment. He needed to give this his entire attention. They both did.

A few minutes later, he pulled his Mercedes sedan into the gated complex that he had called home for the last year. Ever since his father had won the election and moved to the nation’s capital.

He eased into his designated parking place and cut the engine. They were there. All of his questions were about to be answered. He got out of the car as a sudden wave of anger washed over him. His hands started shaking anew, and he shoved them into his pockets to hide their tremble.

He should help Caroline get the child from the back of the car, but he was nearly humming with the anger that coursed through him.

The child.
His
child. Their child.

He had missed nearly two years of her life. How could Caroline have been so selfish as to keep his daughter from him for so long?

Caroline hefted the baby from the backseat and settled her on one hip. She slung her diaper bag over the other shoulder and nudged the car door shut.

Help her
, his inner voice urged, but he pushed it down. She had been taking care of the child for nearly two years without his help. Had made the choice to exclude him from their life. What was the sense in starting now?

He hit the button on his key fob to lock the car and motioned for her to follow him.

Somehow he managed to keep himself together until they were completely inside his apartment. He shut the door behind them and tossed his keys onto the table by the entrance.

Caroline hovered just inside, unsure of her next move.

“I think you have some explaining to do.” When had his father hijacked his body? The words were something straight out of Duke Rycroft’s vernacular.

“I have some explaining to do?” She whirled on him, those beautiful hazel eyes flashing with an anger of her own.

“You kept my daughter from me for almost two years. I believe that deserves an explanation, yes.” As much as he tried to keep it down, his voice raised with every word. Yelling was not the answer, and yet he couldn’t seem to help himself.

She opened her mouth to retort, then closed it again. She shook her head and the strings of her little cap swayed with the movement. The child reached up, grabbed hold of one, and twisted it between her chubby little fingers. “I did not come here to yell at you. Nor did I come to allow myself to be yelled at in return. If we can’t talk about this in a Godly tone, then maybe we should postpone this until another day.”

He shook his head. “No, I . . . I’m sorry, I just . . .” He pushed past her into the apartment and stalked to the liquor cabinet. It was too early in the day for a shot of Tennessee’s finest, but whoever made up that rule certainly hadn’t just found out that he was a dad.

He poured himself two fingers of whiskey and raised the glass to his lips, when Caroline softly spoke. “Please don’t.”

He stilled.

“We can’t talk about this without drinking liquor or fighting? We used to be able to be with each other and not worry about the differences.”

She was right.

He lowered his glass and turned back to face her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I tried, but—can I sit down, please? She’s getting heavy.”

His manners had obviously fled with his good sense. “I’m sorry. Of course. Sit. Is she sleepy?” He motioned toward the child. She had laid her head on Caroline’s shoulder, the hand still clutching the strings now fisted around them, thumb sticking out and popped into her tiny bow of a mouth.

“
Jah
. It’s past her naptime.”

He knew nothing of naptimes or any of the other baby-related activities that Caroline had been engaged in these past few months.

“This chair rocks,” he said, motioning toward the recliner.

She shook her head. “I normally just lay her down. I can’t rock her when I’m at work, so I put her on my bed and let her sleep.”

She worked. His Caroline had a job.

“She can sleep in here.” He led the way down the hall and into the master suite.

The bed was unmade, the gray sheets rumpled. He’d slept well last night, but tonight might be a different story altogether.

“What do you need me to do?” he asked, for the first time offering to help.

“Hand me those pillows.” She laid the child on the bed and braced the pillows around her. Then she brushed back those dark curls and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead. “Sleep tight, wee one,” she whispered before leading him out of the room.

Shell shocked was the only way to describe how he felt. Numbly he followed behind Caroline.

“I don’t want to fight,” she said the minute they were back in the living room. “There’s a lot that needs to be said, but fighting is not going to help.”

“I don’t want to fight either.” He motioned toward the black leather sofa. “Sit down and get comfortable. We have a lot to talk about.”

Caroline perched on the edge of the shiny black couch and waited while Trey went into the kitchen. He returned a few minutes later with two glasses of water.

“This is all I have.” He shrugged. “Except for some wine.”

She shook her head and pushed down the memories of her and Trey drinking wine out of paper cups as they hid out from the world. “Water’s fine.
Danki
.”

He handed her the glass and took the seat opposite her. Like her, he sat on the edge of his seat even though he had said they would get comfortable. Yet nothing about this situation was comfortable.

“How long will she sleep?”

“A couple of hours usually.”

“So, you want to begin?”

“I guess.” She sat her glass on the short table in front of the couch and twisted her hands together in her lap. “I never meant to keep Emma from you.”

“I’m not sure how you can say that. You disappeared.” The words stung though he didn’t raise his voice, didn’t shout like she had the feeling he wanted to.

“I had to.”

“You had to.” It wasn’t quite a question. “I’m trying to understand here, Caroline. I loved you, and you just left. Didn’t say a word. Didn’t tell me you were leaving or that you were pregnant.” This time his voice did raise in volume. He shoved up from the chair, pacing in front of her and glaring at his glass as if the liquid in it wasn’t nearly strong enough for what needed to be said.

“I came to tell you. I went to your house. Your father answered the door and said that you had already gone back to school. I told them about the baby.” Her fingers twisted tighter in the folds of her skirt until the skin showed white. She didn’t know why she couldn’t tell Trey about the money his father offered her. But she couldn’t. What good would it do to add more insult to the injury this situation had caused all of them?

“And then you just left?”

“Jah.”
She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. She swore to herself that she wasn’t going to cry. The time for tears had passed. But they just kept coming, pent-up emotions from trying to be strong. She took a deep, steadying breath. “My father wouldn’t speak to me, couldn’t look at me. He still won’t say my name.”

Trey collapsed back onto his chair, his renewed agitation deflated. “But you are staying there . . . at home with them, right?”

“I’ve been staying in my
grossdaadi
’s house, which is next door, but once he’s out of the hospital I’ll have to move in with
Mamm
and
Dat
.” She took a drink of water. She didn’t want to add that once he left, it would be so they could bury him. Who knew what would happen to his house then?

“Where have you been all of this time?”

“I bought a bus ticket to Colorado,” she started. “But I got sick and got off in Oklahoma. By the time it passed, I guess I was sort of settled. So I stayed there.”

“In Oklahoma?”

“
Jah
. There’s a Beachy settlement in Wells Landing.”

“Beachy?”

She shook her head. “It’s a different kind of Amish. They aren’t as conservative as the Amish here.”

“And they don’t care that you had a baby?”

The heat of a blush flooded into her cheeks. “They think I’m a widow.”

He nodded with a sort of understanding, but didn’t admonish her the way she expected. “Why did you come back?”

“My
mamm
told me you were looking for me.”

“That was her in the store.”

“
Jah
. She wrote me and told me that you had talked to her.”

“But she didn’t know who I was.”

“She did. It’s your eyes, you see. They are just like Emma’s. I had sent her a picture a couple of months ago.”

“Like a photo? Isn’t that against the rules?”