Carried Forward By Hope (46 page)

“We’ve got to do the same here in North Carolina,” Clifford stated firmly. “If we don’t get things under control now, it’s going to get even worse.”

Janie heard him slap his hand against the table.

“One of those nigger soldiers had the audacity to greet me this morning,” he growled. “I went straight to his commanding officer and told him I would not allow such insolence. I explained to him that in North Carolina, a black was only to speak when he was spoken to first.”

“And how did he respond?” Anthony asked calmly.

“He told me I should get used to things being different,” Clifford snapped.

Janie could feel his anger filling the air with a thick heaviness that weighed on her heart.

“It will do no good to go to the Northern authorities,” Anthony told him. “They are the ones who created this debacle. It is up to us to resolve it. The only way to regain control is to remind the niggers every chance we get that
we
are the ones in control. Their little dreams of freedom and equality will fade away when they fully realize the price they will be forced to pay.”

“But they
are
free,” another man protested. “There’s nothing we can do to change that now.”

“You’re right that we can’t change the amendment abolishing slavery,” Anthony agreed, his cold voice freezing Janie’s heart, “but there is no way the government can offer protection to two million freed slaves. We controlled the slaves with fear before — there is no reason we can’t continue to do that. We just need to be a little more subversive in our efforts. Keeping our methods hidden will make them no less effective.”

Janie shuddered as she walked slowly to the house. She’d heard all she needed to hear.

******

Janie smoothed her hair to make sure she looked presentable enough to satisfy Clifford and carried a fresh tray of mint juleps into the office, being sure to keep her eyes down. It was best that her husband not catch even a whiff of the nervous excitement causing her heart to pound.

“Gentlemen,” she said softly when she opened the door. “I thought you could do with a bit more refreshment.”

Talk ceased when she entered the room.

“Thank you, Mrs. Anthony,” one of the men said smoothly.

It took all of Janie’s self-control not to stare him in the face and announce he was a bigoted idiot, but she clamped her lips shut, kept her eyes down, and simply nodded. She backed out of the study slowly and headed straight to her room, closing the door firmly.

Janie stood in the center of the room, taking deep breaths to control her nervousness. Now that the time was here, she wondered if she had the courage to put her plan into action.

“Janie!”

Janie gasped as Clifford strode into her bedroom, his face twisted with anger. He closed the door carefully behind him. She had been so sure he would be too involved with the other men to leave the study. Had he somehow discovered her plans? She fought to remain calm.

“Yes, Clifford?” she asked quietly, putting her hands behind her back to control their trembling.

“I distinctly told you this morning that I wanted chess pie for our visitors tonight. Can I not trust you to do even the simplest things?” he growled, advancing until he stood directly in front of her, his eyes boring into her.

Janie hid her distress by looking him directly in the eye. How could she have forgotten the pies? “Of course I haven’t forgotten,” she said quietly. “I thought the men would prefer to have their drinks before a dessert. I planned on bringing them in shortly.”

Clifford stared at her. His eyes told her he knew she was lying, but he was also aware of a houseful of men that he had to maintain appearances for. She fought to control her quivering as she saw a look different from any she had seen before come over his face. The rage in his eyes turned them coal black. Suddenly she was very much afraid of what Clifford might do.

“I think the men in Louisiana have it right,” he finally muttered, his eyes taking on a strange light she hadn’t seen before, as his face twisted with fury.

Janie sensed the danger even before Clifford raised his one arm and slapped her hard across the face. She gave a soft cry and stumbled back, grabbing the post of her bed to keep herself from falling.

“Shut up!” Clifford snapped. “You are a useless woman, but it seems I am stuck with you. I have been patient for as long as I intend to be patient.” He raised his hand to strike her again and then seemed to think better of it.

Janie struggled to control her trembling, knowing the presence of the other men was the only thing standing between her and more violence. She resisted reaching up to touch her burning cheek and eye.

Clifford glared at her for a long moment and smiled slightly, his eyes gleaming. “I do believe we will finally come to an understanding,” he said softly. “You will do what I say, when I say it. Are we clear?”

Janie nodded quickly. “I will bring the pie in right now,” she whispered.

Clifford nodded and then paused, suddenly seeming to realize his slap had left a burning mark across her face. “You look terrible,” he snapped. “Forget the pie. Just don’t let me lay eyes on you for the rest of the night.”

Janie nodded again. That was an easy promise to make.

“We will continue this discussion in the morning,” Clifford growled, before he spun around and left the room.

Janie waited until she heard his footsteps recede. When she heard the door to his office close, she sank down on her bed and covered her face with her hands, allowing the tears to come.

But only for a moment.

She shook her head, wiped away her tears, and sprang into action. She had already made the decision to activate her plans that night. Clifford’s attack only made her more determined.

She knew the men would be in Clifford’s study until late in the evening. She could only hope his usual routine of retiring directly to his bedroom would continue. It was the only way she would have time. Without allowing herself to think anymore, knowing thought would produce fearful inaction, Janie moved swiftly to her bureau.

It took only moments to gather the few things she was taking, along with the stash of bills she had been hiding away — praying she wouldn’t be discovered every time she took a little of Clifford’s money. It was such a small amount each time that it hadn’t alerted him, but the little bits over the weeks added up to what she hoped was enough.

She didn’t want to appear like a woman traveling any distance, so she stuffed her few things in a soft bag, gave thanks it was too warm to need a coat, and moved carefully to the door of her bedroom. She opened it softly and listened carefully, praying she would hear anything necessary over the frightened pounding of her heart. Fighting to control her trembling, she crept past the study door, holding her breath so that she could hear if there was any movement to open it. She allowed herself to take a deep breath when she reached the kitchen, but she kept walking, allowing herself to move more quickly now.

Janie breathed a sigh of relief when she realized dusk had shadowed their yard. Clifford couldn’t see out the back, but she didn’t want daylight to broadcast her activities. People might see a woman walking alone, but they would have no idea it was Clifford’s wife because he had not allowed her to meet any of her neighbors. They would wonder about a woman out alone at night, but no one would be able to identify her. She refused to allow her fears of what could happen to a solitary woman to rise to the surface. This was her chance for freedom. She could let nothing deter her. She shuddered when she envisioned Clifford’s reaction if he caught her before she could get far enough away. She tightened her jaw and walked swiftly through the backyard, coming out onto a road that headed into town.

Now that Janie was free of the house, she walked as quickly as she dared. Her heart was screaming at her to run, but she knew running would draw too much attention. All she knew was that she was headed to the railroad station. She had no idea of the schedule and no idea of the cost now that the war was over, but she knew it was her only chance to get away. She took deep breaths to control her panic as she moved down the darkening roads, grateful they were almost deserted at night. She knew that made her more vulnerable, but it also made her less noticeable. She stayed as close to the trees along the side of the road as she could, hoping they would help obscure her presence.

Janie took a deep breath when she passed Durham Road. It would take only a few minutes to reach her parents’ house, but her instincts told her it would not be a haven. She would find a way to get word to them when she was safe.

Sweat, both from nervousness and the heat, ran in rivulets down her body when she finally reached the station. She groaned when she saw it was almost empty, but she strode forward purposefully. If anyone was watching her, they would believe she knew what she was doing. Janie took a deep breath and stepped up to the counter.

“Hello, ma’am,” the weary looking man at the ticket counter said. “What can I do for you?”

“I have just received word my mother has taken gravely ill in Richmond,” Janie said crisply. “I must get there as quickly as possible. When is the next train?”

The counterman looked at her more sharply. “Are you going to travel to Richmond alone, Miss…”

“Mrs. Edward Maxwell,” Janie said clearly, forcing herself to appear calm and controlled. “And, yes, I will be traveling alone. My husband is already there. He was on his way home from an important trip to Washington, DC and stopped in to check on my mother. He is the one who sent the telegram.” Janie allowed her voice to grow sharper. “Her condition is most critical. When is the next train to Richmond? I simply have no time to waste.”

Just as Janie hoped, the name of a prominent Raleigh businessman had done the trick. Her belief that a railroad ticket seller would not have reason to know him personally had been correct. She watched the man’s eyes change from suspicious to solicitous.

“Yes, ma’am, Mrs. Maxwell. I’m so sorry to hear about your mother.” He consulted the schedule. “It’s unusual for a train to depart this late, and I’m afraid there won’t be any amenities, but there is a special freight leaving for Richmond tonight with medical supplies for the Union hospital there.”

“I’ll take it,” Janie said firmly, her heart pounding wildly while she resisted the urge to peer over her shoulder.

“Are you sure?” he questioned. “There will be one car with seats, but there won’t be a dining car.”

“That is not a problem at all,” Janie assured him haughtily. “I simply must get to my mother.” Now she just had to pray she had enough money. “What will the cost be?” she asked, reaching casually into her bag.

“It’s not a regular train,” the man muttered, consulting his schedule. “It’s usually twenty dollars, but that doesn’t seem fair.” He stared at the schedule. “I’ll sell you a ticket for fifteen dollars.”

“Fine,” Janie replied, reaching into her bag and pulling out fifteen of the twenty-five dollar bills she had managed to secret away. “When does the train leave?”

“One hour,” the counterman answered, taking her money and handing her a ticket. “I hope your mother recovers.”

“I’m just praying I get there in time,” Janie said fervently as she took her ticket calmly and gave him a grateful smile.

“You can wait here in the waiting room,” the man offered.

Janie looked at the room glowing with lantern light and decided the dark station platform would be a better waiting place. “Thank you,” she said graciously, “but I prefer the evening air.” Now that she had her ticket she was beginning to relax. “It’s quite a lovely night, isn’t it?”

Huddled on the platform bench, Janie struggled to remain calm, jumping every time she heard a noise or saw a movement. Clifford could not possibly know her plans, but she still expected him to materialize from the shadows at any moment.

She almost sobbed with relief when she heard the train chugging down the track. She was standing next to the passenger car when it slid to a stop.

“Evening, ma’am,” the porter drawled. “I reckon you might be the only person on the train tonight,” he said apologetically. “This one ain’t really a passenger train. We’re just taking supplies up to Richmond.”

“That’s quite alright,” Janie responded, trying to hide her delight as she explained about her sick mother in Richmond. “It’s simply necessary I arrive as soon as possible.”

“I reckon you’ll get there sure enough,” the porter assured her. He settled her with a blanket and pillow before he walked away. “I’ll be back through to check on you, but if you’re sleeping, I won’t disturb you.”

Janie nodded, quite sure her pounding heart wouldn’t allow for sleep. She sat tensely, waiting for Clifford to burst through the doors before the train departed.

Tears rolled down her face when the train finally pulled out of the station and began to roll north toward Richmond. It was too late to undo her actions — now she would simply have to live with the consequences. A smile spread across her face as the wheels picked up speed. Every rotation seemed to cry
freedom…freedom…freedom…