Cart Before The Horse (13 page)

growing inside of her, making her suits too small and cau
sing her to talk to herself.

Holly gathered her things and headed to the meeting.
Before she walked through the door she sent Gabe a text message.

I’m going in and when I come out I’ll have a signed million-dollar contract and I’ll cook you dinner.
She fought with herself for only a moment and then signed the text,
Love, me.

Chapter Eight

Three hours later Holly emerged victorious from the meeting. The new million-dollar client had asked to work exclusively with her on designs for the following year’s fabrics. Holly was on top of the world.

When she called Gabe to tell him, he didn’t answer. There were no messages from him either. She blew out a breath of disappointment as she turned off the screen to her cell phone. She’d led herself to believe that he’d call to support her, e
ncourage her, to find out how she did. Well, they both were busy people. She’d never had a man waiting to compliment her on anything, and she’d only be setting herself up for further frustration if she kept checking her phone for messages, even from Gabe. But she was riding high with or without a message from him. She tucked her cell phone into her pocket—but kept her hand on it just in case he’d have a moment to call.

When her mother showed up just after lunch and wanted to take her shopping for a wedding dress, Holly was still so happy she couldn’t even say no.
She took a rare afternoon off and hit the bridal boutiques of Cherry Creek with her mother.

When Holly stepped out of the dressing room wearing a white chiffon off-the-shoulder dress, her mother covered her mouth and batted her eyes against the tears Holly could see forming.
The thought that her mother was actually moved by seeing her in a wedding dress twisted in her stomach. It was a precious moment, and Holly wasn’t sure how to react to the sudden interest her mother was taking in her.

“Holly, you look beautiful.”

She stood before the three mirrors on the pedestal and looked at herself.
The moment was one she’d dreamed of since childhood, but as a wave of nausea drifted through her, she realized the moment wasn’t as she’d imagined so many years ago. But the fantasy wasn’t marred by the baby. A warmth filled her body, relaxing her muscles, and calming her breath. She was happy, and no matter how backward it had all come about, it was just as sweet because she was going to marry a man who truly cared for her. The saleswoman stood to the side of her. “It’s beautiful. It has a beautiful bustline, and the full skirt is nice for comfort. Being bunched up in a tight dress all day isn’t something many brides think of when they choose a design.”

“She’s pregnant, you know,” her mother piped in, her voice raking on Holly’s nerves with the very way the words sounded.

Holly set her jaw and tried to relax it when the saleswoman nodded. “It’s the perfect dress for the expectant bride. One thing you might want to consider is a corset with a full skirt. This will eliminate a lot of alterations and will allow, again, for maximum comfort.”

Holly wondered if her mother was disappointed that the woman’s reaction was so passive.
Pregnant brides had been around as long as there had been weddings. Perhaps there was no longer cause for alarm. The thought had Holly biting back her grin.

The saleswoman took a measuring tape from her pocket. “When is your wedding?”

Holly took a deep breath. “The day after Thanksgiving.” She shook her head. What had they been thinking? Who gets married the day after a huge Thanksgiving feast? Would Gabe even fit into his suit, or tux—she didn’t even know what he’d planned to wear. Either way, comfort was going to be an issue. The full skirt and corset was starting to sound like the right choice.

The woman made a measurement on the skirt and jotted the numbers on a notepad. “I would suggest holding off on alterations until the week before. I’ll put in a special order for it so they know we need to wait until the last moment. Let me go out and look for the other dress I was thinking of, and you can see if it’s something you’ll be interested in.”

She looked at herself again and let the moment sink in.
She was buying a wedding dress. She was getting married. She was going to have a baby. And she’d fallen in love with her husband to be. The thought caught. She put her hand on her stomach and let out a breath.

“Holly, are you all right?”
Her mother moved quickly
to her side.

“I’m fine.
I just got caught up in the moment.” Her heart pounded in her chest and her breath clogged her lungs. She’d never felt this sure about anything in her life. It wasn’t how she’d expected it to happen. It was wonderful.

Holly tried on the dress the saleswoman brought back, and she adored it.
It was perfect.

As her mother talked to the woman about the price and scheduling times for alterations and pick up before the we
dding, Holly stood staring at her reflection, enjoying the moment she realized she loved Gabriel Maguire.

They’d picked out her wedding dress and stopped by one florist to see designs, though her mother seemed to have her own ideas on what the arrangements should look like. They had plans to go back the next week and look at more, but Holly didn’t see why she’d have to go. Her mother hadn’t liked any of her ideas, even if it was for her wedding.

Trudy had called a bakery and set up a time to do a tasting.
Holly thought the chef could put together a cake, but Trudy wouldn’t hear of it.

Holly’s first instinct was to tell her mother how she felt about all the decisions being made, but it did seem like her

mother was trying to participate.
She just couldn’t seem to help herself when it came to letting someone else make decisions. But she was participating, and Holly needed to let her be part of it. She’d promised her father she would.

They’d stopped and had tea at the Brown Palace, and b
efore Holly headed home, she picked up a few items at the
store for dinner.

Tonight was going to be special.
She was going to tell Gabe she loved him and share her news of the contract, her dress, and the flowers. She was finally excited to have her life taking the many curves it was supposed to take.

She dressed as casually as she could in a pair of jeans she’d always kept for those times when she’d over indulged in ice cream or for that time of the month.
They almost fit. She left the button undone and wore a long sweater to cover the waistband. A little accenting with her makeup, a spritz of her favorite perfume, and she pulled her hair back to expose her neck. In her jewelry box she kept a very special pair of earrings with rubies she thought she’d wear. They would match the very special ring on her finger.

An hour later, she was walking out the door with her gr
oceries, hoping she hadn’t missed Gabe’s window of opportunity to eat. It was already past seven and it would be at least eight thirty before she had dinner ready. Perhaps the dinner crowd on Monday wouldn’t be so bad and he could get away when she was done cooking.

When she walked through the door of the restaurant and saw Chandra behind the bar, she wondered if everything was okay.
She hadn’t heard from Gabe since he’d paged her the night before—and Chandra had mentioned she wouldn’t be back to work until Tuesday.

She caught her eye and Holly smiled, but Chandra shook her head.
Her forehead creased, and she nodded for Holly to meet her at the end of the bar.

“What are you doing here?” She snapped out the question

as she threw her bar towel into the sink.

Holly’s good mood took a nosedive. It certainly wasn’t the greeting she’d hoped for when she’d come to tell her future husband that she loved him. She was nervous enough. Chandra’s bad attitude wasn’t helping. She straightened her shoulders and gripped the bag of groceries tighter. “I came to make Gabe dinner. Is he here?”

“He’s here.”
Chandra shook her head. “Didn’t he tell you he didn’t want to see anyone today? He sure as hell made it clear to me and the rest of the staff.”

“I haven’t heard from him all day.”

Chandra leaned against the bar, and her eyes softened. The crease in her forehead disappeared, and she looked around as if she didn’t want anyone else to hear what she had to say. “Listen. Go home and come back tomorrow.”

“I beg your pardon.
I told him I’d cook for him. I’m here. I’m going upstairs and—”

Chandra laid her hand on Holly’s arm. Her first reaction was to jerk back, but there was such desperation in the grip she could only stare at the woman holding her. Chandra gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “It’s the anniversary of the crash.”

Holly felt the world spin and she closed her eyes for a moment to regain her equilibrium. “He’s upstairs alone?”

“By now he’s probably passed out.
He came down about noon and grabbed a bottle of Jack and headed up. I haven’t seen him since, but I’ve heard the sound of a few things breaking.”

“I didn’t know.”
And she felt horrible that she didn’t.

“The past two that I’ve been with him, he was fairly quiet about it.
He was in a mood, but this one hit him pretty hard.” She eased her hand off of Holly’s arm and gave a shrug with one shoulder. “I assume that has something to do with you.”

“Me?
Why would this be my fault?”

He loves you.”
Chandra turned and poured a glass of water then handed it to Holly. “You and the baby are very important to him now. Let him mourn.”

Holly sipped the water then set it back on the bar. “I’m going to go up.”

Just then a group of twenty walked through the door, and Chandra rolled her eyes then gave Holly a stern look, but in her eyes brewed the concern of a dear friend.
“Don’t you even let on that we just got busy.” She took out her rag and wiped down the bar. “Hear me?”

“Got it.”

Holly walked up the stairs and stood outside his door for a moment before tapping on it lightly. There was no answer. She tapped again and then decided she’d just go in.

The chairs to the table were on their sides, and the refrig
erator stood wide open. She set down her bags and closed the refrigerator door.

She picked up the chairs and set them upright, and slowly walked into the living room.
He wasn’t there, but he had been. Three empty beer bottles stood on the table by his chair, along with the half-empty bottle of Jack. She couldn’t help but notice the empty picture frame that had once held Jasmine’s photo.

There was a hitch in her heart.
She’d spent the day making plans to tell the man she loved him, and all the while he’d been mourning his wife.

“Gabe?”

“Go home, Holly.”

The groan came from the bedroom.
She opened the door, and by the stench of alcohol, she realized he’d holed up there most the day. The bed was torn apart, and she found him slumped on the floor in the corner, clutching the missing picture.

“I came to make you dinner.”

“I said go home.”

“I heard you.
Why don’t you let me help you to bed?”

“Damn you!
Didn’t you hear me? Go away.”

She certainly didn’t like this side of him.
It broke her heart to see the man sobbing like a lost child. She wanted to fall

down beside him and wrap him in her arms, but she didn’t know exactly where her place was at the moment. If he wanted to mourn, she was in the way. If he wanted to move on, he couldn’t with Jasmine looming in his heart.

She wiped her sweaty palms on her pants and knelt down next to him. No matter what, she wasn’t going to let him pass out in the corner. The fact was, she did love him and she had to help him in any little way she could.
“Gabe, I know what’s going on. I know what today is.”

He nodded.
“Chandra can’t keep her big mouth shut, huh? I was going to give her a raise since she let us trash her house, but not now.”

Holly shook her head.
She’d let it go. “C’mon. In bed.”

“You said that once to me, you know.” He pushed himself to his knees and grabbed hold of the nightstand for balance.
Holly helped him to his feet. “You were as drunk as I am now.”

“Yes, I think I was.”

“I shouldn’t have had sex with you.” He wobbled as he walked toward the bed. “You were too drunk. It wasn’t fair
to you.”

“If I was so bad, Tracy would have taken me home.
Let’s not worry about it.”

“But you’re so upset about the baby.
You don’t want to be a mother like I want to be a father.”

The horrific truth of the statement hit her like a brick.
How could she tell him that things had changed? She did want to be a mother to his child. To their child.

The stench in the room made her stomach churn, and the sadness in his words twisted in her gut, making her wonder if he now regretted that night as much as she once had. She wished he’d just pass out and shut up.
Everything she wanted