Casey Barnes Eponymous (22 page)

She wrote back to Ben.
 
Someone once said, ‘There is no freedom without
creative freedom.’
 
After
staring at her words for a moment she scribbled out
Someone,
erased
it, and added in a messily written name to make it look as though the previous
erase mark was making it hard to read.
 
She passed it up.
 

Ben read, shook his head, and responded.
 
The expression was ‘There
In No Freedom Without Bread’ and it was the Russian historian
Constantine Pleshakov.
 
Unless, of course, what you mean to
write was ‘Without Truth There is No Freedom.’
 
I can’t remember who said that but am
happy to look it up for you later.
 
I for one hate to get historical quotes wrong.
   

Casey crumpled his note into a ball and folded her
arms over her chest.
 
There was no
way she would ever kiss Ben again.
 
Not only that but she could not believe she had kissed him the night
before.
 
He was fifteen, for God’s
sake.
 
Good kisser or not, he had no
business knowing that much about random historical quotes.
 
Ben was weird.
 
And “Maxine French is a Bitch” was
cool.
 
And drummers?
 
Drummers could be replaced.
 
When the bell rang Casey marched out of
the room without a word.

In math class, Maxine French was, as per usual, brimming with
grace and charm.
 
As soon as Casey
sat down she turned around.
 
“So I
hear you got your big brother to pull some strings for you.”

For a moment Casey debated whether to hint at the sonic terror
that lay ahead for old Maxine.
 
But
then she decided that the element of surprise would serve her well.
 
She took out her workbook and started
doing the problems on the board.
 
When Maxine saw that she was not getting a reaction out of Casey, she
turned back around.
 

Playlist for a girl about to sing a song labeling the most
popular girl in school a bitch:

1. Song 1 - “Remnants” by My Morning
Jacket.
 
There was nothing
like a carnivorous rock band to get one prepared for reckless action.
 
How could she not take Maxine French
down with the strains of punk rock meets Duke of Hazzard (A percussionist named
Bo!
 
Past members with last names
Quaid and Cash!) running through her head?

2. Song 2 - “Incinerate” by Sonic Youth.
 
Casey wondered if
Kim Gordon, bass player of Sonic Youth, coolest resident of earth, and queen of
everything, had been too hip and ahead of her time for high school.
 
Oh of course she had been.
 
But had she gotten teased for being that
way?
 
No, she was probably smart
enough to evade torture.
 
But would
she have gotten up at talent show auditions and played the Maxine French
song?
 
Y-E-S.
  

3. Song 3 -“Passion Pit” by Moth’s Wings.
 
Candy pop with a
touch of rebellion.
 
Car commercials
with lip gloss.
 
Get up on that
stage and DO it, Casey Barnes.
 

Ben was sitting in the front row looking morose when Casey and
Sukh arrived for auditions.
 

“Are you ready?” Sukh with an enthusiasm completely lacking in
knowledge of what was going on between Ben and Casey.
 

“I suppose,” Ben muttered.
 
He gave Casey a wary look.
 

She ignored him and began to tune her guitar.
 
She had seen Alex Deal with the other
members of Air Morocco as she entered the auditorium.
 
She did not even bother to make eye
contact or say hi.
 
Through the
corner of her eye, she saw movement in the area where Alex and co were seated:
a swish of long hair and a short cheerleading skirt.

“Do you see this?” Sukh hissed, “Maxine French is here.”

Casey shot him the thumbs-up sign.
 
Ben spoke without taking his eyes from
the stage where Note Mountain was singing something from
South
Pacific
.
 
“We can still
change the plan.”

“I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t speak while The Mother
Fuckers are performing,” Casey said.

Ben looked at her.
 
“I guess I’ll take that as a no?”

“Yes, Ben.
 
That’s a
no.”

When Note Mountain finished they walked by Ms. Vernon.
 
She gave them a nod and quickly looked
to see if Casey had caught it, which, of course, she had.
 
Casey waved broadly at her.
 
Ms. Vernon frowned and turned back
around.
 

“It was a weak Note Mountain showing, Casey,” Sukh said, “We
have nothing to worry about.”

Casey looked at Ben but he maintained poker face.
 
Air Morocco took the stage.
 
From the area of the auditorium where
they were sitting a female voice hooted encouragement.
 
Casey did not have to turn to see who it
was.
 
She scooted down lower in her
seat.
 
But a few bars into their
audition song, a nice little thing happened: some kids started talking in the
back of the auditorium.
 
This was
not exactly extraordinary.
 
The
gathered masses were teenagers and school was done for the day.
 
But the reason it was noteworthy was
that the day before everyone had been too awed to make noise during Air
Morocco’s audition.
 
On that second
day, however, this was not the case.
 
Plus the song they played could easily have passed for the one from the
day before.

They finished and got off the stage.
 
Casey’s heartbeat sped up.
 
Samantha approached.
 
“You guys ready?”
 
They nodded, followed her to the stage,
and ascended.
 
Casey plugged in her
guitar.
 

Ben hesitated before walking to the drum kit.
 
“Last chance to change our minds on this
one.”

She stared at him.
 
She then looked out at the audience and saw that, for the first time since
talent show auditions began, she had Alex Deal’s attention.
 
Next to him Maxine French folded her
arms over her chest and smirked.
 
Casey looked back to Ben and realized he had seen her watching Alex
Deal.
 
He walked back to his drum
kit.

She motioned for Sukh to come closer.
 
“Lower your bass line during the
chorus.
 
That way everyone’ll really
hear it when I talk about her you-know-what.”
 

“Whenever you’re ready,” Samantha said.

Casey nodded and launched into the first chord.
 
For a second, just as she began, she got
a panicked feeling.
 
What was she
getting herself into and who did she think she was to get herself into it?
 
But then she remembered something
Clayton Gould said once, before Ben and Sukh and Alex Deal and Pop Wire, when
he was trying to convince Casey to play her rock songs in front of others.
 
He said that the secret to public
speaking, doing anything in front of a crowd, really, was imagining that
everyone in front of you had no clothes on.
 

She forced the image into her head.
 
It grossed her out.
 
But she did relax.
 
She then tried the trick where she made
herself see Alex and herself leaving auditions together.
 
Her playing got better.
 
There was a textured, woodsy tone that,
up until then, her voice had only gotten when she played guitar in her
room.
 
In that moment, however, the
tone came out.

They were still on the first verse.
 
They had not yet gone into the chorus
that would out Maxine French and her adventures in plastic surgery.
 
But the words in that verse, about a
girl bully, were hitting people.
 
Casey could tell because of how quiet it got in that auditorium.
 

As instructed, Sukh lowered his bass as they began the
chorus.
 
Casey’s voice boomed.
 
And then she went into it: “Though what
would Maxine know with her fake boobs and nose.
 
That’s the sit.
 
Maxine French is a Bitch.”

Now there was noise in the auditorium.
 
Gasps and ‘Oh shits.’
 
Laughter too.
 
And one girl, a spindly little thing who
was a friend of Carol Emilio’s and whom, Casey had a feeling, had once been a
victim of Maxine, shouted “Yeah!”

As they swung into the second verse, they
really
had the auditorium’s attention.
 
And
that was when Casey saw Yull.
 
He
was in the fifth row sitting with Samantha and staring at Casey with stone-cold
disbelief.

Perhaps it was because people were expecting it that second
time, but once she started singing the chorus there were at least four cheers
from the audience.
 
Casey pushed on,
her voice louder than before.
 
In
what only seemed like seconds later, it was over.
 
There was a moment of silence.
 
Then the place burst into rapturous
applause.
 
Sukh hung his bass across
his chest and pumped two fists into the air.
 

Casey turned to look at Ben.
 
He was surprised, there was no doubt
about it, but when he caught her eyes he did not smile.

When they re-entered the fray of the audience they were
bombarded with comments.

“That was
awesome!”

“About time someone said it.”

“You guys rock!”

“If you guys play that at talent show it would be the highlight
of my high school existence.”

Casey and Sukh gave each other high fives as they walked to
their seats.
 
Ben remained silent.

“Seriously?” Casey said to him, “You’re not even gonna get
remotely excited?”

“Your voice sounded really good.”

“And?”

“And you both played your instruments like pros.
 
Happy?”
 
Casey shook her head.
 

Ms. Vernon came striding over.
 
“There is no way you are playing that
song in talent show.”
 

Casey made a face at her.
 
“Um, call me crazy but I thought we were still in auditions.
 
Are you trying to say your vote has
already been decided?”

“I am saying the song is inappropriate.”

“Samantha!” Casey bellowed.
 
Samantha came over.
 
“Are there any rules about votes being
pre-decided before auditions are over?” Casey asked.

Samantha did not try to make eye contact with Ben when she
spoke.
 
“If anyone on the voting
committee shows a bias then their vote is discounted.”

“I see,” Casey looked to Ben.
 
“Care to repeat what Ms. Vernon just
said for our friend Samantha?”

Ben spoke in a monotone voice.
 
“She said that there’s no way we’re
going to play that song in talent show.”

Samantha looked to Ms. Vernon.
 
“Well actually Ms. Vernon you can’t say
that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Talent’s the one show of the year where students have control
over the material.
 
It’s in the
student government charter.
 
I mean
if it’s truly objectionable then it can be put to a vote.
 
But,” she looked around and lowered her
voice, “based on the reaction that song got I’m not sure how many people are
protesting.”
 
She smiled.
 
“Maxine French was in my English class
last year.”