Casey Barnes Eponymous (26 page)

“Don’t play that song tomorrow night.”
 

33

On his couch, in his basement, one of Alex Deal’s
hands was on Casey’s knee.
 
The other
played with her hair.

“I liked your song,” he said.

They left together as soon as rehearsal ended.
 
There were no other band members with
them that day.
 
No need for
practice.
 
Instead they went
downstairs and sat on the couch and Alex put the moves on her.
 
She wasn’t as excited about his re-entry
into her life as she had been earlier in the day, though.
 
The truth about Maxine was ringing in
her ears.
 

She inched away from him.
 
“Why’d you blow me off at auditions?”

“I didn--”

“You totally did.
 
You wouldn’t even speak to me.”

He paused.
 
“Maxine
was there. She and I were, I mean…”

Casey shook her head.
 
“First Melanie, then Maxine.
 
What, we’re going to go out for like a day and then some other girl comes
along?”

“No.”
 
But his eyes
looked sheepish.
 
“Look, sorry I’ve
been a dick.
 
I had an awesome time in
the summer.
 
You’re not like other
girls.”

Casey folded her arms over her chest.

“I mean you’re pretty and all,” he added, “but you’re also
funny and you can talk music.
 
I just
thought I should be dating another senior, or at least a junior.”

“Why?”

“Because we’d be in the same boat about college applications.”

Casey cocked her head to one side.
 
Was it that, she wondered, or was it
that his other senior friends, like Peter, would taunt him if he dated a
sophomore?
 
Or maybe just taunt him
about her.

“And…” He stopped and looked down.

Suddenly Casey got what it also was.
 
An upperclassman like Maxine or Melanie
would sleep with him more easily because they had done it before.
 
“And you think I’m a virgin?” she asked.

He rolled his eyes.
 
“Come on, Casey.
 
You don’t
have to lie to me about it.”
 
He took
her hand.
 
“But it doesn’t
matter.
 
I like you.”

His eyes weren’t as smooth as they usually were.
 
No matter what Yull said or how Alex had
acted she had a feeling, in that moment, that he was telling the truth.
 
She would not, after all, have to change
to be with him.
 
And that was what
she wanted:
 
To be with him, in
every way.
 
But before she went
there, there was one more thing she needed.

“Make me a playlist.”

Ever since she started making them for other people she wanted
someone to make her one, to think about what songs she’d like and how they’d
help her.
 
To wonder if those songs
were ones she had heard before.
 

“A playlist?” he repeated.

“It only has to be three songs long.
 
But you’ll need to make it for me by
tomorrow.
 
Do that and I’ll let you
get in my pants.”

“Are you always this frank?”

“What do you think?”

She had Alex drop her off at Ben’s house.
 
She had texted Ben from the bathroom at
Alex’s.
 

Emergency rehearsal at your place in exactly
one half hour.
 
This is
mandatory.
 
I’ll tell Sukh.

“Why’d you want us to get together?” Ben asked as soon as she
walked in the door.

“I’ll tell you when Sukh gets here.”

“Tell me now.”

“No.”
 

He grabbed a magazine on the counter and began reading it.
 

“Mind if I help myself to some health food soda?” Casey asked.

“If you insist.”

“If you insist,” she mimicked.
 

He threw the magazine across the room.
 
Casey froze.
 
Ben losing it was a new one.
 

“You get
him
to drop you
off at my house, don’t even tell me why you’re here, then make fun of me?
 
You’re the one who’s a bitch.”

Casey placed the bottle of health food soda down on the counter
gently.
 
“Sorry.”

“No you’re not.”

“You kicked me out last night and barely said two words to me
all day!”

He looked away.
 
“You asked me about something I didn’t want to talk about last night.”

“Why not?
 
What’s the deal with your Dad, Ben?”

“You like Alex Deal.
 
Even if I hadn’t kicked you out last night you would’ve dropped me like
a dirty shirt the second he showed interest in you again.”

Casey wanted to tell Ben he was wrong.
 
Thing is, he wasn’t.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you about my Dad,” he continued,
“Because you knowing and then dropping me would have royally sucked.”

“Me knowing
what
?”

Ben sighed.
 
“Promise
not to tell another soul in the world?
 
Literally, not a soul?”

“Yes.”

“My Dad’s in jail.”

“What?”

“For forging checks.
 
He’s what’s known as a confidence man.”

“A--?”

“A con man.
 
He’s
never had a real job.
 
Always been
in and out of shady business deals.
 
The last time I saw him was two years ago.
 
He asked me to lend him three hundred
bucks from a check my grandparents gave me.
 
I never saw that money again.”
 

“Wow,” Casey said, “So…”
 
She stopped herself.
 
She was
going to ask why he said his Dad lived in Paris on the first day of
school.
 
Ben read her mind.

“Why’d I say he lives in Paris?”

“Yeah.”

“He did once, for like six months.
 
What was I supposed to say?
 
That my Dad’s in jail?
 
You try being the new kid on the first
day of school and throwing that one out for general consumption.”

Casey looked down.
 

“All I want is to not be like him,” he continued, “but
sometimes I do things, like lie about him being in Paris, or make a joke a
certain way, and I sound like him.
 
And it totally freaks me out.
 
So I always come back to this thing my Mom’s been saying for years, ever
since she became a Buddhist.
 
When
in doubt, be good to people.
 
It’s
hard to go wrong as long as you follow that rule.”
 
He shrugged.
 
“That’s why I hated playing that song so
much.”

Something about Ben occurred to her.
 
“Eponymous,” she said.

“What?” he asked.

“An eponymous album’s a self-titled one.
 
Like The Beatles’
The Beatles,
even if it is more commonly known as
The White
Album.
”

“I don’t get it.”

“You’re eponymous.
 
Self-titled.”

The doorbell rang.
 
Sukh was outside.

In Ben’s basement, Casey played the song she wrote for Alex
Deal weeks earlier.
 
It was scary to
play something so much quieter and more personal than her other songs.
 
But she felt comfortable in the wake of
Ben telling her his secret.
 
He
trusted her with it and now she could trust them too.
 
A few lines in, she relaxed.
 
The looks on Sukh and Ben’s faces told
her they liked it.
 

When she was done, Sukh whistled through his teeth.
 
“An excellent song, Casey.”

Ben stared at her.
 
Casey had a feeling he was trying to figure out who the song was written
for.
 
Then he nodded.
 
“It was really good.”

“Glad you like it.
 
Because we’re not gonna play the Maxine French song tomorrow night.”

“What?” Sukh asked.

“We’re playing that song instead.”

“But why?” he asked.

“Maxine told me something today that I told her I’d keep secret,
and I will.” She glanced at Ben.
 
“But
let’s just say it made me think differently.”

“I like this new song you play for us tonight,” Sukh began,
“It’s good.
 
Maybe better than the
other one.
 
But it’s about, love, I
think?”
 

She shot a quick look at Ben.
 
He looked down.

“When we get up tomorrow night they will be expecting a
rocker,” Sukh continued, “This song is not why they selected us.”

Casey bit her lip.
 
She had not considered that angle.
 

“I disagree,” Ben said, “They selected us because they liked us
as a band.
 
And they’ll like us as
much, if not more, if we play this song.”

They played it four times in a row until Ben and Sukh came up
with bass and drum parts that sounded good.
 
Casey didn’t get to talk to Ben again
about what he told her.
 
Yull was
busy and thus her only way of getting home from Ben’s was hitching a ride with
Sukh’s older sister.
 
But when she
got home she sent him an email.

Thanks for telling me what you told me.
 
And not to fear, your secret’s safe with
me.
 

He did not respond, but something happened after she sent it
that distracted her.
 
Tricia entered
her room, without knocking, and began to speak about a packet of pot
brownies.
  

34

“The return of the prodigal Leigh Robinson,” Casey said.
 

Leigh appeared at her locker moments before, just after first
period ended.
 
She shrugged and as
soon as she did Casey knew her fears from the day before were not wrong.
 
Leigh was not going back to normal
anytime soon.

“I’m here to clean my locker out,” Leigh said.

“Wha wha what?”

“I’m going to boarding school.
 
I start next week.”

“Leigh.
 
Robinson.”

“I want to get away for a while.”

“My Mom told me last night that if you get stoned before the
age of eighteen it messes your brain cells up,” Casey said, “Maybe that’s
what’s going on here.
 
Why don’t you
let the pot wear out of your system a bit more?”

“Your mom knows about the brownies?”

“I denied it, but sí.
 
I’m grounded for a month.
 
After talent show, that is.”

“Ouch.”

“You’re telling me.
 
So anyway, don’t decide to go to boarding school while your brain’s
still fried.”