Cast Love Aside (18 page)

“You are consumed by rage and sorrow,” he
said, his voice so tight with longing that she knew he was fighting
a battle with his manly desire. “I cannot in honor take any further
advantage of you. I’ve had too much already, and I should not have
accepted what you gave out of distress.”

“Oh, Magnus, I am sorry,” she cried,
contrition winning over naïve yearning. “I've been selfish,
thinking only of myself and my own pain and anger, while you are
worrying about your brother and trying to think of a way to free
him.”

“Hush.” He gathered her close again, resting
his chin on her hair so she couldn't see his face. “Just don't
wriggle around too much and I'll be fine.”

She lay quietly against his side for a time,
glad of his strong arms around her, steadied by the regular beating
of his heart beneath her cheek. But though her body was eventually
at rest, her thoughts would not be still. His mention of Erland
reminded her of her earlier decision to leave Richton and return to
France. She could not allow her feelings for Magnus to distract her
from what she must do.

“Royce is leaving for Normandy this
afternoon,” Magnus said, his soft voice penetrating her
consideration of how best to escape from Richton.

“Why?” she asked in surprise.

“He says he wants to consult with King Henry
before proceeding further. He claims to have several ideas on what
to do next to free Desmond.”

“Really?” She thought about that piece of
news for a moment before deciding to speak what was in her heart.
She found it impossible to lie to Magnus. “I must return to Manoir
Sainte Inge.”

“While Royce is gone I must return to Manoir
Sainte Inge,” Magnus said at the same instant when Lilianne
spoke.

“In heaven's name, why must you go back?” she
cried.

“Why do you want to return?” Magnus countered
her question with his own query. “You cannot, Lilianne. It would be
too dangerous for you, especially if Norbard is there. Besides,
Royce expects you to stay here at Richton.”

“I don't care what Lord Royce expects, and I
don't need your permission.” She sat up abruptly, choosing to leave
the comfort of Magnus's arms so she could embrace what she saw as
her sisterly duty. “I intend to return to Manoir Sainte Inge and
bury my brother.”

“I won't allow it,” Magnus told her, sitting
up beside her.

“You cannot stop me. Nor can Royce. I am not
beholden to either of you. I will hire Captain Piers to carry me
across the Narrow Sea and put me ashore on the beach below the
manor.”

“Captain Piers will demand more of you than a
few coins,” Magnus said, glancing toward the purse at her belt. “He
will expect far more than I just had of you. He’ll not permit you
to remain a virgin, as I just did.”

“So be it, then.” She clamped her lips
together to stop their trembling. “If I must sell my virtue to
provide Gilbert with a proper funeral, then I will.”

“No,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Yes,” she responded with equal
determination.

They glared at each other for several
minutes.

“You’re mad,” Magnus declared.

“Then so are you, for you also risk your life
for a brother's sake.”

“It's not the same thing.” He spoke as if she
were a recalcitrant child.

“I shall leave for Hythe at once. That's
where I was headed when you interrupted me.” She grabbed her cloak
and scrambled off the bed, evading the hands Magnus stretched out
to hold her there. “When Alice returns from her ride, kindly tell
her what I have decided. She will understand, if you do not.”

As usual, Magnus moved with startling speed.
He surged off the bed and caught her as she wrenched the door open.
Slamming the door shut again, he leaned against it with hand on
hips, his face as harsh as on the night when they had met. Despite
her annoyance with him, his sudden action left Lilianne marveling
yet again that a man so large could be so quick and lithe.

“I cannot let you do this,” he told her.
“Only think, Lilianne. If Captain Piers does set you down unharmed
in France, what do you suppose the men-at-arms at Manoir Sainte
Inge will do to you?”

“What they ought to do,” she said, “is treat
me with respect because I am their lady.”

“They are Erland's men, not yours or
Gilbert's,” he reminded her.

“In that case,” she responded, struck by a
sudden inspiration, “we can return together and you will protect
me. Though why you want to return, I cannot imagine.”

“Can you not?” Magnus said softly.

Hoping he would move so she could rush
through the doorway, she took a single backward step. As if he
understood her ruse, he didn't relax but remained where he was,
blocking the door, keeping her from escaping.

“I thought my reasoning was obvious,” he
said. “I intend to examine every book, scroll, and scrap of
parchment left in Erland's private room. I will collect whatever
looks promising. What I cannot decipher there, I’ll bring back here
to decode.”

“In hope of learning what has happened to
Desmond?” she asked, comprehension dawning. “I was right; you are
more clever than Royce. He should have thought of that, instead of
rushing off to confer with King Henry.”

“If you want,” Magnus offered, “while I am at
Manoir Sainte Inge, I will see to Gilbert's burial. I'll find the
room where he was kept, and I'll make the arrangements with the
local priest. I promise, I'll see everything properly done and I’ll
order masses said in the future for Gilbert's soul, whether you are
able to return, or not.”

“We will see to it together,” she told
him.

“I hear Alice coming down the corridor,”
Magnus said. “I promised to recount to Braedon and William
everything that passed with Erland, and they will want to know
about Royce's departure. I'll think about what you've said and we
will talk again later.”

He pulled the door open just as Alice
arrived, with William close behind her.

“I expect to see both of you in the solar,
for the evening meal,” Magnus said in a tone that clearly warned
Lilianne not to try to leave the castle before then.

* * * * *

“Dare I ask what you and Magnus were doing?”
Alice surveyed the rumpled coverlet before she looked at Lilianne's
hot face.

“Quarreling,” Lilianne responded. She dragged
the cloak off her shoulders and tossed it onto the bed to cover the
place where, just a few minutes earlier, Magnus had shown her a
glimpse of heaven. While restraining himself, she recalled
bitterly. He was indeed a clever man. He knew how to play upon a
bereft woman's conflicting emotions. His maneuver had worked, too.
For a short time she had forgotten her brother. Renewed guilt
stabbed at her. She turned away from the bed.

“Tell me about your meeting with Count
Erland,” Alice said. “Then tell me about Magnus. The two are
connected, are they not?”

“Gilbert is dead.” She tried to make the
statement unemotional, but she could not fool her friend.

“Oh, my dear! I‘m so sorry.”

Alice hurried forward to hold her and wipe
away the tears that began anew, though Lilianne tried her best to
stop them. When her voice was under control again, she recounted
all that had occurred while Alice was riding with William. She
omitted only the brief, passionate interlude with Magnus.

“I do not for a moment believe Magnus's
grudging agreement to consider allowing me to accompany him to
Manoir Sainte Inge,” she concluded the story.

In fact, she suspected him of knowing all
along that she would try to leave Richton. Now, in a calmer mood,
she was forced to admit his objections about the risk of trusting
Captain Piers too far, and about the possibility of violence by the
men-at-arms at the manor, were all well reasoned. A woman traveling
alone was not safe. Therefore, she required a dependable escort. So
she raised the subject again, during the evening meal.

Alice had returned so flushed and happy after
her ride with William that Lilianne wondered just how serious a
chaperone Braedon had proven to be. William and Alice sat together
at the linen-covered table looking for all the world like lovers
who had recently plighted their troth. Recalling Magnus's remarks
about Royce's intent to promote William to a position of
responsibility at Wortham Castle once the present mission was
successfully accomplished, and certain William would not abandon
his companions in that mission, Lilianne experienced a pang of
remorse over her own plans.

Telling herself that her duty to Gilbert took
precedence over all else, she drew a deep breath and stated her
intention to sail for France as soon as possible.

“Knowing how poor Gilbert died, you cannot
want to return to that dreadful place,” Alice exclaimed.

“I don't
want
to return,” Lilianne
told her, “but I must. Could you leave your brother unburied? Oh,
dear, I shouldn't have said that. Forgive me, please.”

“It's quite all right,” Alice responded,
reaching across the table to place a hand over Lilianne's. “After
the way my brother treated me, I don't much care what happens to
him. Anyway, he has priests and a wife to pray for his soul, so he
doesn't need my prayers. Your circumstances are different. You love
Gilbert and what you propose to do for him is only common decency.
Very well, then. After my first voyage across the Narrow Sea, I am
loathe to set foot upon a ship for a second time, but I will travel
with you, out of friendship.”

Alice had gone pale as she spoke, with a
slight green tinge around her lips, as if she was about to be
seasick at the very thought of putting out to sea. Lilianne
hastened to reassure her.

“My dear, I don't expect you to come with me.
I'd never ask it of you.”

“I should hope not,” William said, assuming a
proprietary air. “Alice will stay here, with Sir John to watch over
her. I know John from Wortham Castle and he’s an honest man.
Lilianne, if you had any sense, you'd stay behind, too, and keep
safe, as a gently bred lady ought to do.”

“Would you let your brother lie unburied?”
Lilianne asked him.

“I don't have a brother,” William answered.
“If I did, I trust I'd have wits enough to see when a proposed
action is hopelessly dangerous. Manoir Sainte Inge is not a safe
place for a female.”

“Neither do I have a brother, at least, not
one I'm aware of.” Braedon spoke in a wry tone. “Nor, so far as I
know, do I have a sister, but if I did, I hope she'd love me as you
love Gilbert. William is right to say a return to Manoir Sainte
Inge will be dangerous. So, if you’ll allow me, I'll go with you
and I'll help all I can. You are going to need armed protection,
you know.”

“Thank you.” Lilianne smiled at him in
gratitude.

“Lilianne and I have already discussed this
matter and she knows my feelings on the subject,” Magnus said,
adding in a stern voice, “William is correct to say Manoir Sainte
Inge is no place for a woman, and neither is the hasty journey I
intend to make.”

“You cannot prevent me from going.” Lilianne
could feel her cheeks warming in irritation. “I know you mean well,
Magnus, but I have made my decision and I will hold to it.”

“Since Braedon has volunteered, he and I will
make the trip together,” Magnus said.

“I volunteered to go with
Lilianne,”
Braedon pointed out in a soft voice.

“Lilianne and Alice will remain here at
Richton,” Magnus continued as if Braedon hadn't spoken. “This
discussion is over.”

“You will have to make me a prisoner to keep
me here,” Lilianne declared.

“That can be arranged. I have sworn to
protect you,” Magnus said, “even against your will.”

“I am a French noblewoman and you are only an
English knight. You have no right to order me about, or to stop me
from leaving. Nor has anyone else at Richton, now that Royce has
left. I outrank all of you.”

“She has you there, Magnus,” Braedon
observed, chuckling.

“I have coins and jewelry enough to pay my
way to France,” Lilianne continued.

“I can take them from you,” Magnus
threatened, looking at her belt.

“I now carry them concealed on my person,”
she said, noting his frown when he realized her purse was gone.
“Will you strip me naked to find them?”

Alice gasped in shock. William looked
embarrassed. Braedon hooted with laughter. Magnus just glared at
her. Lilianne saw the rising color in his face and judged she had
taunted him far enough. Into the silence of the next challenge that
she forbore to hurl at him, Braedon spoke and what he said made her
glad she had held her tongue.

“Argue the night away if you wish,” Braedon
told Magnus. “When you’ve finished, consider that the sketch of
Manoir Sainte Inge provided to Royce by Norbard was so inaccurate
it was all but useless. In light of what we have learned about
Norbard, I think we can agree he falsified the layout of the manor.
We cannot depend upon any information that comes from Norbard.”

“Having once been at the manor, we will be
able to find our way through it more easily the second time,”
Magnus stated.

“Remember, I grew up at the manor and I know
those buildings inside and out,” Lilianne said, seizing on the lead
that Braedon had provided for her. “When the sentries at the gate
wakened early after sleeping off the drugged wine you gave them,
you were trapped inside the walls. You could have chosen any
awakening man-at-arms and threatened him with death if he didn't
reveal another way out of there, and he couldn't have helped you,
because they didn't know about the tunnel to the beach.

“You will need me again, because I can find
the door leading to the tower room,” she went on when Magnus looked
as if he was going to raise objections to her claims. “I also know
where Erland has hidden the key to the door. If only I had known
what I know now, when last I was in Erland's private room, perhaps
I could have saved Gilbert.”