Casting Down Imaginations (18 page)

twenty five

K
aren

I stood at the kitchen counter and sliced Mama’s homemade
jellied cranberry sauce. She was in the kitchen all last night and this morning
making a tremendous Christmas dinner. I stayed in the kitchen pretending to
help in order to avoid Terrance, who’d conveniently came over at twelve even
though I distinctly heard Mama tell him that dinner wouldn’t start until four
o’clock.

“Karen, sweetie,” Mama called out to me. She was across from
me at the stove, drizzling thick hot glaze over the ham she’d just taken out of
the oven.

“Ma’am?”

She looked over and smiled. “Did you finish setting the
table?”

I nodded, remembering the thirty minutes it took me to pull
out the good china and silverware and fold the linen napkins restaurant style.

“Good,” she told me. “Go grab the men from the living room
and tell them dinner’s ready.”

I sucked my teeth and poked my lip out. I didn’t want to go
in the other room. I knew that as soon as I did Terrance’s eyes were going to
start roaming, something that he’d been doing every time he looked at me today.

“Now,” she firmly instructed.

Grumbling under my breath, I stomped into the living room and
reported “Dinner’s ready.”

“It’s about time,” Kevin mouthed off. “I’m starving.”

“Go get the big bible out of the room,” Daddy told Kevin as
he walked past me into the dining room.

Kevin made his way toward the stairs, leaving me alone with
Terrance, who still hadn’t taken his eyes off me.

“I’ll help you find it,” I called after Kevin. I tried to
walk past Terrace, but he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me close to him.

“Where you going?” he asked.

I started to shake. “Let go of me, Terrance.”

He smiled. “You know you don’t want me to.”

Irritated, I pushed him onto the couch.

“Dang. What was that for?”

“Why are you even here?” I asked him.

He stood back to his feet and smoothed his clothes. “I just
wanted to spend some time wit’ you. Besides, your moms invited me and I didn’t
wanna be rude.”

“It’s Christmas. Why aren’t you at home with your own dag’
ol’ family?”

He shook his head and laughed.

“What?”

He shook his head again and kept on laughing.

I was growing irritated. “What is so freaking funny?”

He looked at me. “I don’t know why I put up wit’ you, girl.”

“Put up with me? Fool, I ain’t ask you to be here. Take your
ol’ trifling behind home.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he said. “Calm all that down. Ain’t gon’
be no name calling. You too cute for that.”

I was only growing more annoyed by his arrogance.

“
Don’t
call me cute.”

“Well what you want me to say then? Huh? That you fine?
Sexy?”

“Don’t say anything. Just… leave me alone.”

“Oh no,” he started, walking toward me. “We got to get to the
bottom of this. ‘Cause I can’t keep putting up wit’ this attitude you got. You
know you want me. That’s why you went all out of your way to do your hair and
makeup pretty. You wanted me to notice, and I did. And I like it.”

I did want him. I wanted him bad. He was so fine and so sexy…
and he gave me so much attention. I did go out of my way this morning to make
sure I looked nice. But that was only because I wanted to make sure he
regretted letting me go when we were in high school. I wanted him to feel
stupid for not taking care of me when he had the chance.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied and walked
past him toward the dining room.

“Karen,” he called.

I stopped, even though my mind told me I should have kept
walking.

I held my breath as he walked over to me. He slid his arms
around my waist, pulling me into him, hugging me.

“When you gon’ stop fighting me and let me love you, girl?”

I relaxed a bit. It felt so good to be held, even though I
knew that I was letting him get too close for my own good. He was too much
temptation. I wanted him so bad, but he was—

“What is taking you all so long?”

Mama stopped in her tracks when she saw us in our embrace.
Caught, I immediately pulled away from him, but it was too late. She was
already grinning. Her eyes taunted me, singing “I knew you wanted him.” I was
embarrassed because she was right.

“Well, well,” she said. “What do we have going on in here?”

“Nothing, ma’am” Terrance said. “We were just getting ready
to come in to dinner.”

“Yes, I’m sure you were. Hurry. Your dinner is warm now. I
don’t want it to get cold.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered.

We walked into the dining room like two high school students
who’d just been caught kissing under the bleachers. I hadn’t done anything
wrong, but I was guilty by speculation. And with Mama, that alone deserved a
life sentence.

“This food looks good,” Daddy said to Mama.

“It sure does,” Terrance echoed.

Kevin ran back in the room with the bible in his hands. “I
got it.”

“Good,” Daddy said. “You wanna read the scripture?”

He nodded.

“Alright, let me help you.”

“No,” Kevin protested. “I want Karen.”

I smiled and sat down so Kevin could climb into my lap.

“Put him down,” Mama told me. “That boy is too big.”

“It’s fine,” I told her.

Kevin opened the bible and I flipped to the scriptures about
the birth of Jesus that we read every Christmas. All of us were patient as
Kevin tried his best to pronounce the King James dialect.

“Good,” I told him once he finished, and kissed him on the
cheek.

“Ugh,” he said, and wiped it away.

We all laughed as I kissed him again and rubbed it into his
skin. He hopped down and took his seat next to Mama.

“Shall we grub?” Daddy asked, picking up the knives on the
table to cut the turkey. “My stomach is about to touch my back.”

We laughed at his exaggeration.

“So, Terrance,” Mama started. “I heard through the grapevine
that you’ll be attending Daytown University.”

Daddy’s head popped up. “Really?” He didn’t know. Mama was
keeping secrets.

Terrance was a little uneasy, but he answered. “Yes, sir.”

“Well, when did this happen? I’m not sure I want you being
that close to my daughter without me being there.”

I held my head down at the table. I didn’t want to make eye
contact with anyone.

“I promise you, sir, I’ll be on my best behavior. I would
never disrespect you or your lovely daughter by behaving inappropriately.”

“That’s right,” Mama butted in. “Leave the young man alone.
They can’t help being in love.”

All of a sudden I couldn’t breathe. I tried to gasp for air,
but it only made me cough uncontrollably.

“You okay?” Terrance asked, pretending to be concerned.

I shook my head, still coughing. Terrance handed me my glass
of water. I sipped it to calm my nerves.

“Mama, Terrance and I are not in love,” I informed. “We’re
only friends.”

The table got really quiet. The only sound came from Kevin,
who was blowing bubbles through the straw of his drink.

“Friends?” Mama asked.

“Yes, Mama. Friends. Besides, I’m in school to get an
education, not to fall in love. I’m a full-time student and I don’t have time
for any relationships.”

Daddy’s eyebrows went up in surprise, but he didn’t say
anything.

“Karen’s right,” Terrance added. “We’re just friends.”

“Oh,” Mama said. She was clearly disappointed. “I thought
you—”

“Just friends, Ma,” I interrupted.

Defeated, she sat back in her seat and sipped her drink while
Daddy finished cutting the turkey.

“When I get big I’m gonna go to college, too,” Kevin said.

Mama leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. “You sure? I
thought you were gonna always stay home and be my baby?”

“You don’t wanna do that,” I told him. “Soon as you do
something wrong, it’s over.”

Mama looked at me with eyes that could have cut.

Daddy quickly tried to change the subject. “So how did your
classes go?”

“Good,” I answered. “I got two As and three Bs.”

“That’s good, baby. Have you found a church home yet?”

“Not yet,” I regretted to inform him. I knew he’d be
disappointed to know that I hadn’t attended church all semester. “But, I’ve
been watching a pastor on TV and he’s really good. I’m thinking of going there
when I get back.”

Daddy looked satisfied to hear that. “Well that’s good.”

“Yeah,” Terrance chimed in. “I was actually thinking about
going when I get to Daytown.”

I rolled my eyes. “You don’t have to do that, Terrance,” I
said.

“No, let him go,” Mama said.

“Thanks, Mrs. Stephens,” Terrance said.

“You’re welcome, sweetie.”

Sweetie? Since when did he become sweetie?

Terrance turned to me. “If you would like, Karen, maybe we
could go together.”

I was about to object but Mama answered for me.

“Terrance, that’s a wonderful idea. I’m sure Karen would love
it.”

I chewed on my bottom lip to keep from going off.

“So how’s the hotel thing working out?” Daddy asked me.

I shrugged. “It’s okay,” I told him. “They told me I should
be able to move into the dorm after next semester starts. But I don’t want to.”

“Oh, really?” he asked. “Why not?”

“The dorms suck, Daddy. I mean, the rooms are okay, I guess.
But you have to have a roommate, and you never know who you’re gonna be roomed
with. And not everyone at Daytown is as decent as me.”

He chuckled. “So what are you gonna do, then?”

I gave him a cheesy smile and batted my eyelashes. “Well,
seeing that I did so good this semester, and that I am very mature for my age…”

“Oh, Lord,” Daddy said. “Here we go. What do you want?”

“For you to get me my own apartment.”

“What?!”

“Please, Daddy, please,” I begged. “I’ll get a part-time job
if I have to. Please?”

“Absolutely not,” he objected. “You aren’t old enough to have
your own place yet. And I don’t like the idea of you being up there all alone.
It’s too risky.”

“But, Daddy… It was like I was staying in an apartment at the
hotel anyway. And I’ll get a job. I’ll get two if I have to.”

He sighed. “Karen, you know I want you to focus on school
right now. That’s your main priority.”

I was wearing him down. I could tell by his tone. All I had
to do was ask one more time and I had him.

“Please, Daddy,” I begged with a pout.

He smiled at me. “I know what you’re doing, trying to be
slick.”

I squealed. “Say yes, Daddy. You know you want to.”

He sighed. “Alright. I’ll get you an apartment.”

“Yes!” I jumped up from the table and dove on top of him,
grabbing him around his neck in a tight hug. “Thank you, Daddy! Thank you!”