Castle to Castle (24 page)

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Authors: Louis-Ferdinand Celine

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BOOK: Castle to Castle
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Up above the clouds the snake dance goes on . . . squadrons on squadrons of R.A.F. . . . some diving in the direction of the Castle . . . the Castle was their landmark . . . the loop in the river . . . that's where they turn from north to east . . . Munich, Vienna . . . squadrons on squadrons . . . We wouldn't be blown up . . . that was the rumor . . . because the Castle was being reserved for Leclerc's army . . . he was already in Strasbourg with his Fifis° and his coons . . . you could tell by the people coming our way . . . refugees with their eyes popping out . . . the things they'd seen . . . the wholesale decapitations . . . with the chop-chop . . . Leclerc's Senegalese . . . rivers of blood . . . the gutters full of it . . . what we could expect from one minute to the next . . . something for the scratchers to think about . . . for the 1,142 "wanted" to talk about in their attics!

When you come right down to it, Pétain and Debeney were through . . . their act was washed up! . . . the "French Empire" act! . . . curtain! . . . the next act would be the Senegalese! . . . Pétain was through incarnating! . . . France was fed up . . . send him home so we can loll him . . . turn the page! . . . here he still cuts a figure . . . with Debeney . . . and his straggling processional . . . and all spiffed out, the stinkers! . . . those resplendent shoes! . . . stepping lively . . . along the Danube, that little river so violent, so gay and splashing, throwing its foam into the treetops . . . optimistic river . . . great future! . . . yes yes, but Leclerc's army isn't far off . . . and his chop-chop Senegalese . . . people hardly ever know that it's time for the next act . . . that they're in the way, time to come down off the stage . . . oh no! . , . they're stubborn . . . they've got nice parts and they want to hold on to them! . . . forever . . . the Marshal and Debeney on their daily outing . . . banks of the Allier . . . banks of the Danube . . . outing and Chief of State, that's the whole picture . . . What interested us, Lili and me and Bébert . . . was Marion° . . . Marion and the scrapings of their tables, the rolls . . . anyway it was better if Pétain didn't notice . . . Marion . . . the Minister of Information . . . was almost last in line . . . that's the protocol . . . first comes the sword! that's Pétain! . . . and then Justice! . . . and then Finance! . . . and then the rest . . . the scroungers, the so-called recent ministries . . . no more than three, four centuries old! . . . to be a real minister, to "carry weight," you've got to go back to Dagobert . . . Justice! . . . St. Eloi, there was a minister for you . . . Marion with his
Information
? . . . not even fifty years . . . not presentable . . . but for the three of us, including Bébert, the only one who counted . . . no two ways . . . we had to join the outing . . . on the q.t. . . . so he could slip us his rolls and scrapings while no one was looking . . . Mattey wasn't very high in the outing order . . . his place was after Sully . . . two hundred yards after the Navy, the admirals, François I . . . in a black topcoat, Mattey, the gravity of an administrator, black felt hat, a hundred yards ahead of us . . . "I call on you, Monsieur Mattey, to feed the French nation!" . . . That's how black-clad Mattey had been recruited . . . "Mattey! fields and pastures!" . . . And he'd dived right in! . . . Same as Bichelonne in the railroads . . . "Bichelonne, you will transport all France!" And now . . . they could only tag along . . . a hundred yards ahead of
Information
and me and Lili and Bébert . . . oh, I forgot . . . the Danube is very sinuous and choppy . . . then suddenly it gets wide . . . very wide . . . no more breakers and froth . . . a broad surface of quiet water . . . right after the railroad bridge . . . there the ducks were waiting for us . . . or rather they were waiting for Bébert . . a good hundred of them, sticking right by us . . . paddling hard, swimming right next to the shore to get a good look at our Bébert . . . ah, and another animal too! . . . I forgot! . . . the eagle . . . we had one of those, too . . . he came to the same place, but kept his distance . . . not like the ducks at all . . . very distant . . . in the fields on top of a high pole, all alone . . . you couldn't get close to him . . . oh no! . . . not the Hohenzollern eagle! . . . he saw us . . . we saw him . . . he didn't fly away! . . . he moved a little according as we moved, far away . . . he pivoted on his pole . . . slowly . . . I think he was looking mostly at Bébert . . . Bébert knew it . . . and Bébert, that independent cat, world's record for disobedience, the way he stuck to us! . . . he could see himself in the eagle's clutches . . . What's wonderful in the animal world is the way they know everything without telling each other . . . and far far away! at the speed of light! . . . we with our heads full of words, it's terrifying the way we knock ourselves out fuddling and muddling . . till we don't know a damn thing! . . . or understand! . . . the way we stuff our big noodles! . . . full up . . . busting . . . no room for more . . . not the slightest mini-wave . . . everything slips by . . . we don't catch it . . .

That royal Hohenzollern eagle was master of the fields and forests all the way to Switzerland . . . he did exactly as he pleased . . . nobody could intimidate him . . . commander of the Black Forest . . . flocks and rabbits and deer . . . and the fairies . . . every outing, he was there . . . same field, same pole . . . I'm sure he didn't like us . . .

After about a mile and a half up the Danube bank, a silhouette . . . it never failed: a silhouette with gestures . . . meaning to advance . . . or go back . . . that Pétain should keep going . . . or turn around and go home . . . we knew that silhouette . . . it was Admiral Corpechot° . . . guarding the Danube, commander of all the flotillas as far as the Drava . . . he was expecting a Russian offensive . . . in the middle of the Marshal's outing! . . . The Russian river fleet would come sailing up the Danube! . . . he was dead sure . . . he had appointed himself Admiral of the Estuaries of Europe and Commander of Both Banks . . . he expected the Russian fleet from Vienna . . . cutting across Bavaria to take Württemberg in the rear . . . and Siegmaringen! . . . naturally! with all the collaborators . . . especially Pétain! . . . he could see Pétain kidnapped! . . . trussed up in the hold of one of those submersible devices he'd seen coming out of the water! . . . oh, he'd seen them all right! amphibian vehicles . . . past Budapest the river was crawling with them! . . . Corpechot told me all about it . . . I was treating his emphysema . . . he knew all the Russian plans! their material! their strategy! he even knew the ins and outs of their aero-aqua-terrestrial device, catapulted by hydrolysis, the Ader° system in reverse, subnautical . . . give you an idea what we could expect . . . I was never surprised to see Corpechot popping out by the riverbank, making signs that the outing was over, that the Russians had been sighted! . . . it was no surprise to Pétain either . . . he about-faced . . . the ministers, too . . . you can imagine, this Corpechot . . . they'd arrested him ten times . . . twenty times . . . and released him twenty times . . . no more room in the asylums . . . actually no more room anywhere for anybody . . . crazy or not! . . . you took what you could find . . . crazy . . . not crazy . . . attics . . . backrooms! . . . stables . . . bunkers . . . station waiting rooms . . . absolute frenzy! whole villages under the trains . . . huddled up . . . in the woods . . . caves . . . if you found one, you stayed there . . . people from every corner of Europe . . . I told you Corpechot had made himself an admiral . . . he felt he was entitled to it, a damn sight more than the admirals of the Castle, the office admirals of Darlan's general staff! . . . in the first place Article 75 . . . decorated with Article 75! . . . he hadn't made that one lip . . . warrant and all! absolutely genuine! really hunted! . . . the circumstances of his departure proved it . . . skin of his teeth! . . . last train! from the Gare de l'Est . . . they'd only nabbed his son, his wife and sister-in-law . . . all sent to Drancy! . . . another minute they'd have had him . . . It was true! . . . I'd read the report in Brinon's office . . . and his detailed biography . . . he'd been a gossip columnist and later editor-in-chief of a big yachting week!y, the
Jib-boom!
you could speak of him in Bremen, Enghien, or the Isle of Wight . . . people listened with respect . . . he was in every regatta . . . "Corpechot says!" . . . that was enough . . . he was the authority! Naturally he was an easy mark for Doenitz! . . . "Corpechot, you are the Navy!
über alles!
. . . you will avenge France and Dunkirk!" Then they embraced . . . "Trafalgar! Trafalgar . . ." and that's why he was here with Article 75 on his ass . . . and his whole family in Drancy . . . but he'd lost his bearings! . . . "Corpechot-you-are-the-Navy" had had to deliver, earn his stripes . . . first in Hamburg . . . then in Kiel . . . then in Warnemünde . . . for Doenitz . . .
Kriegsmarine!
. . . from camp to camp! . . . and now with his promotion! . . . "Commander of the Forces of the Danube!" . . . every body of water in Württemberg-Switzerland! . . . and consequently the mission of guarding Pétain, telling him how far he could go . . . not far! no further! . . . about-face! . . .

Oh yes, up in the sky we were doing all right . . . the English were dragging their wings! . . . it was pitiful to watch those poor planes that didn't even dare to bomb us! intimidated by the Castle! fucked! . . . but the Russians? . . . their amphibian submarines? Corpechot kept his eyes on the river . . . the slightest ripple: the treacherous Danube! the Russian peril! he'd made himself little mounds . . . at every bend . . . kind of little semaphores . . . crow's nests . . . You could talk to him up there, tell him about the R.A.F. . . . he'd double up, laugh himself sick . . . childish, preposterous . . . bombs? . . . he did the exploding! . . . "Good Lord, man . . . Good Lord . . . you too! always looking at the sky! stargazing! . . . grotesque . . . unbelievable! can't you see that they'll come by the river? Come, come! Take a look! See for yourself!" And he'd pass you his binoculars . . . his big Licca . . . no time to joke! . . . "You're right, Admiral! . . ." . nobody contradicted him! . . . the second Pétain caught sight of him, about-face!

That's the way it is at the end of a régime . . . nobody contradicts anybody . . . the looniest are king . . . one gesture from Corpechot and Pétain and Debeney obeyed him . . . Corpechot slept on the ground in the middle of a thicket . . . any thicket . . . but he kept up appearances . . . absolutely impeccable . . . admiral's uniform, tall cap . . . and patent-leather shoes! . . . he'd had himself fitted out like that up there at the Depot between two bombardments . . . rosy complexion, big nose, big belly . . . double cape! . . . "Stormy weather" outfit for seafarers . . . his Licca jiggling on his belly . . . if you'd run into him on the rue Royale, you'd have said right away: "No doubt about it . . . the Admiral is the Navy . . . the incarnation! . . ." The genuine article and the nuts . . . it's perfectly simple . . . the only difference is where you meet them . . . the rue Royale or the banks of the Danube . . . Twenty times . . . a hundred times . . . Pétain had written to Abetz that Corpechot was in the way! admiral or not! that he had enough with his own people . . . on every floor . . . ministers and higher echelons! . . . that he was spied on when he went out walking . . . Abetz couldn't do a thing! when everything's going to pot, there's nothing you can do but observe and shut up . . . Vichy, the papal nuncio . . . Corpechot-Danube . . . don't contradict! . . . delay the change of scene, keep the stage a little while longer . . . before the page turns . . . Deloncle?° . . . Swoboda? . . . or Brinon? or Navachine?° with or without a tommy gun . . . or Juanovici? . . . Stalin? or Pétain? . . . or Gourion? Nothing counts . . . only Corpechot's command . . . all about-face! . . . the whole military establishment . . . and the string of ministers . . . and the rest of the V.I.P.'s . . . and the four of us, Marion, Lili, me, and Bébert . . . so the fleet wouldn't catch us before the big bridge! . . . the three-track suspension bridge . . . the outing is over . . . back to the Castle . . . the big bridge . . . same bank in reverse . . . the last get to be first! about-face! about-face! . . . the party chiefs in the lead! . . . Bucard and his men . . . Sabiani and his men . . . Bout de l'An° and his men . . . I note in passing that Herold Paqui,° as shameless a liar as Tartre, never set foot in Siegmaringen . . he stayed fifty miles away on his island, eating canned goods . . . he never saw anything at all . . . except his police record . . . Doriot° never came either . . . we never saw anything but his car, riddled, gutted . . . he should have stayed in Constance! . . . a good life, except for the itch . . . same as ours only worse . . . Déat° never came along on these outings . . . that giant of political thought preferred to stroll in the woods by himself . . . he didn't mix much . . . he preferred . . . he was working on a program for a "Burgundian and French Europe" with primo-majoro-pluri-deferred elections . . . he was meditating . . .

Meditating like this, I get to thinking about Noguarès° . . . Where does he come off, writing about Siegmaringen? he could have gone there at least, the lousy pompous bastard! he'd sooner have shat in bed! any more than you ever saw Chariot in the trenches with a bazooka, fighting off the Kraut tanks! . . . slippery bastards! . . . all free gratis! never paying! . . . whores of the galas! I can see them all those men of pure steel, on the terrace of the Trois Magots . . . signing their photographs in the blood of their admirers . . . the sucker billions! . . .

All this meditating makes me delirious . . . What's become of Philip? . . . I was telling you . . . about-face . . . the return to the Castle . . . so there we were in the lead with Marion Information . . . well, practically in the lead, behind the party chiefs . . . this about-face gave us a good laugh one day . . . I haven't had much chance to make you laugh . . . we come to the railroad bridge . . . the whole caravan stops short . . . under the first arch . . . oh, not on account of the air raid warnings! they were permanent . . . the sirens never stopped blowing . . . but the R.A.F. was looking for the bridge . . . at that precise moment . . . no razzledazzle! . . . dropping their strings of bombs over the bridge . . . straight down . . . every which way . . . three, four planes at a time. . . how did they manage to miss it? . . . their bombs sent up geysers! the Danube was boiling! and the muck splashing all over . . . and in the fields . . . two, three miles away . . . We were squeezed under the arch, pressed against the enormous granite abutment . . . a good chance to piss, the ministers and the party chiefs and the Marshal . . . I knew all their prostates . . . some had big business . . . for that the bushes were more convenient . . . so there they go into the bush . . . just then, I remember exactly, a detachment of prisoners come up in the opposite direction . . . with their
Landsturm
guards . . . prisoners and "territorials" . . . not very worried any of them . . . Russian prisoners and old Boches . . . so tired! . . . so tired! . . . all skin and bones the whole lot of them, dragging their feet . . . and all in rags . . . the Krauts with guns, the others without . . . where were they going? . . . Someplace . . . we asked them . . . they didn't understand . . . they didn't even hear the bombs . . . how could you expect them to hear our questions? . . . They were going along the same bank, that's all . . . in the opposite direction . . .

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