Catalyst (22 page)

"But you will," Ken added. "I know your grades.
You're one of our top students."

"Thanks Ken," Linda whispered. "I hope I do."

"And you, Ken?" Courtney asked.

Ken looked around the steamy room. "There's so much
love here. I have never had as much fun as we're having now. I
finally believe there are decent people in this world."

"I know how you feel," Courtney added. "You should
have seen me before I met Renee and Lem." She smiled. "You know,
Lem touched me on the arm in the cave and I went ballistic and
practically accused him of coming on to me."

"Were you attacked or raped, Ken?" Linda said in a
blunt voice. "It must be terrible for a male."

"No," Ken said and shook his head. "Only violence.
Back as far as I remember my father thrashed me for the slightest
thing." He passed a hand across his eyes and looked at the
girls.

"Go on," Courtney said.

"My father was violent with Mom, too. She withdrew
into herself, accepted the punishment he dealt out and never tried
to help me. It was as if she regarded physical violence as natural.
Last year I decided to break the cycle and promised myself I'd
never hurt another person but it was difficult."

"To realize everything you learned as a child isn't
normal is hard," Linda whispered. "It's hard to change."

"But you did, Ken," Courtney said.

"Yeah," Ken replied. "That's why I don't relate to
the guys. One called me a nerd because I won't play football or
basketball. I felt different and lonely." The last word could
hardly be heard against the bubbling water sounds. "Then Granny
approached and told me the new girl needed a buddy and here we
are."

"The three dropouts," Linda lamented.

"No," corrected Courtney. "The survivors."

The three lapsed into thoughtful silence, lay with
their heads back and stared at the wooden beams overhead.

"We've gotten serious, haven't we?" Ken
interrupted.

"Yeah," Linda replied, "but I'm glad we talked."

"Because we're friends," Courtney added.

****

Upstairs, Renee watched Diane bring a gigantic pie
out of the oven. The older woman was strangely quiet as if there
was something on her mind.

"What is it Diane?" Renee asked.

"Is it so obvious?"

"That you're nervous. It is. If you have a problem,
tell me. We've been friends and neighbors as long as I can
remember."

"But this is different," Diane confessed. "I mean
with your dad and me."

"So you're living with Dad. He hardly limps now and
I've never seen him looking so happy."

"He wants to marry me," Diane blurted out and stood
as still as a statue with her eyes on Renee.

"And you don't?" Renee answered with a puzzled
look.

"I do," Diane whispered. "I want to marry Jack more
than I want anything in life but you're so close to him. I don't
want to come between you both." She placed the pie on the bench and
glanced away. "I think I've loved your father for years,
Renee."

"Then marry him with my blessing."

"So you don't mind?"

"Course not. Frankly, I think Dad is lucky." She
screwed up her nose. "I have to admit I wasn't impressed with Amy.
Courtney reckoned her grandmother was only after his money."

Diane smiled but made no comment.

"Oh Diane," Renee continued. "When do you plan the
big day?"

"Soon." Diane smiled. "We feel uncomfortable living
together. My parents would have called it living in sin."

"Yes, the hypocritical fifties. God, I'm glad I'm
alive now and not then."

"I suppose. I really grew up in the sixties when we
were all becoming more assertive."

Renee grinned. "I'm glad you two are getting married,
Diane."

"Thanks," Diane replied. "And for the woman to woman
talk, too. It's good to just chat." She glanced up when she heard
voices from the stairs. "The troops are coming, I believe."

Courtney and her friends bounded in, dressed and
fresh. "We're having another toboggan run after lunch." She looked
into Renee's eyes. "And you can come, too."

"Why not?" Renee agreed and smiled at Courtney's
surprised look. "I used to toboggan down Diane's hill every time it
snowed. Tell me, did you manage to avoid that little hump three
quarters of the way down?"

"She didn't." Linda laughed. "Ran slap bang into
it."

"Only the first time."

"It was a spectacular crash." Ken chuckled.

"Traitor," Courtney retorted and dug him in the ribs.
"You wait. I'll show you next time."

****

"Renee," Diane said later that evening after the
teenagers had retreated to watch television. "Will you be my
bridesmaid?"

"If you really want me," Renee replied. "But I was
thinking of someone who'd be enraptured to be asked."

"Courtney."

Renee nodded. "Just a suggestion. As I said, I'd be
thrilled to do it if you really prefer me but..." She stopped when
Diane laughed. "Okay, what did I say?"

"Oh, nothing. You said what Jack predicted you
would."

"And you don't mind?"

"No. It solves a small problem, actually. I have a
feeling that Phil's wife, Leanne, would be envious if you were
asked and she wasn't. If I have Courtney, she won't mind. Trying to
please everyone can be hard at my age."

Later in the evening, Renee heard a yell of
excitement from the other room and not one but two teenage girls
came rushing in. "Do you know what's happened?" Courtney gasped,
while Linda stood back with a wide smile.

"No." Renee replied in an innocent voice. "But I'm
sure you're going to tell me."

"Diane wants us to be bridesmaids," Linda
interrupted. "Both of us."

"I see," Renee replied. "Both of you, what did you
say?"

Courtney stared at Renee and frowned. "You had a say
in this, didn't you? I can tell by your condescending tone."

Renee laughed. "I can honestly say I had no idea
Diane was going to ask you both to be her bridesmaids."

Later Diane confessed she never had the heart to ask
Courtney in front of Linda, so had dashed off to confer with Jack
about what to do. "He said to ask them both. Lem's agreed to be our
best man, so Jack asked Ken to be his second groomsman."

"And what did Ken say?" Renee asked.

"Well, you know young men. He reckoned he'd have to
think about it but changed his mind when he heard who the
bridesmaids were. I think he's as thrilled as the girls but doesn't
like to admit it.

****

Jack and Diane were married a month later in a local
valley church with their small family wedding a large event. The
bridesmaids in long sky blue frocks and the bride in traditional
white stole the afternoon but in Courtney's eyes, Ken's crisp grey
suit was every bit as attractive.

"Well, Sweetheart," Jack said to Renee later in the
evening at the old-style district dance that followed the
reception. "It's your turn now."

"Yeah, I guess, Dad but at the moment with my career
and Lem's business..."

"I know." Jack chuckled. "As long as you're happy,
Sweetheart." He turned as Diane stepped up and slipped an arm
through his.

"Did you see Courtney?"

"No," Renee replied.

"She's dragged poor Ken onto the dance floor but I
admit he's doing pretty well."

"I noticed Linda is fighting the boys off," Jack
added. "She's a real heartthrob isn't she?"

Renee glanced across the dance floor to where the
younger guests had taken over. Someone changed the CD, so disco
music blared. The volume had been turned up, colored lights flashed
and hot bodies pulsed the beat. In the middle was Linda, shoes and
jersey gone, holding the bridesmaid's gown up, so she wouldn't trip
over herself. Further out, Courtney and Ken could be seen chatting
as they danced.

"Aye, Diane, I think it's time we left," Jack said.
"I love having these young ones around but can do without their
music."

****

CHAPTER
20

Though it had been at the back of her mind all week,
it was after midnight when Courtney decided she wanted Ken. She had
stuck to fruit juice all evening and in her wicked scheming,
encouraged her friends to sip wine from the flasks that peppered
every table. Ken needed to overcome his shyness. She wanted Linda
out of the way.

Her plans almost ran awry when the younger girl
staggered into the ladies' powder room, violently ill.

"Oh shit," the youngster muttered. "I feel
terrible."

Courtney coughed and felt ashamed. What had she done?
Because of her selfishness, anything could have happened to Linda.
Any of the boys hanging around could have taken advantage and the
poor girl would not have remembered what happened.

She filled a tumbler with water and handed it to
Linda. "Look, sit here. Don't leave. Understand? I'll go and find
Renee."

"Sure, Courtney." Linda plunked herself down in an
unladylike fashion on a small wooden stool in the corner.

"Oh hell," Courtney replied and slipped out, straight
into a youth waiting outside. "What are you, some sort of pervert?"
she yelled. "Go on…get home. Linda's not coming out."

He grinned sheepishly. "Right, Courtney. Well, I
suppose I'd better go. Tell Linda I'll give her a call
tomorrow."

"Sure, now go." Courtney looked around the hall where
the few remaining guests were cleaning up. Ken and Lem had a broom
and were helping Renee sweep litter and downed streamers into a
pile.

"Renee, get over here!" Courtney hissed.

"What is it?" She was a little tipsy but by no means
drunk.

"Linda's been as sick as a dog. I reckon she needs to
get home. If one of those guys offers to give her a lift, anything
could happen."

Renee nodded. "Oh hell. I should have watched
her."

She brushed past Courtney to where the girl still sat
on the stool with her head between her hands. After guiding the
youngster to an adjacent medical room and laying her down, she
returned and swept annoyed eyes over the blonde girl.

"What are you doing, Courtney?" she accused. "Linda
doesn't usually drink and I noticed Ken is in little better
condition. Yet you're stone cold sober."

"Nothing," the girl muttered and glanced at the
floor.

Silence reined before Courtney glanced up to find her
companion's eyes focused on her. "I meant no harm. I just want
to…oh hell, you know."

"Go to bed with Ken and thought Linda would be in the
way?"

"Something like that?"

"And is Ken in on this little scheme?"

Courtney shook her head.

"Well, don't you think he should be consulted?"

"He's ready. He's had a stiff dick all night."

"Oh, Courtney." Renee sighed and warmth returned to
her eyes. "You're a beautiful young woman, so it's only natural
he's aroused. That doesn't mean he'll come onto you."

"Isn't that what it's all about?"

"If you want a one night stand, yes. If there's more
to it and I believe there is, what's the hurry?"

Courtney pouted. "Because I'm scared Renee. I love
Ken. Part of me wants it to happen, while a second part makes me
shudder in pain and revulsion. Memories of what Jake did come back.
If I don't try, I'll never know." She blinked her moistened eyes.
"You and Lem are at it all the time and seem happy afterwards. Tell
me, it is always painful?"

"No." Renee spent several minutes explaining things
that books or magazines rarely mentioned, the difference between
love and the physical act. "Are you prepared?"

Courtney dug her hand into a pocket of her
bridesmaid's dress and pulled out a package containing a condom.
"Yes," she whispered.

"Good," Renee replied. "And where were you going to
do it?"

The girl shrugged. "The Mustang, I guess."

"It's freezing outside, Courtney. My advice is to see
what Ken wants and consider his needs. If he agrees, go back to the
farm and use your bed. I'll keep Linda here. It will be an hour or
more before we get everything tidied up." She placed her arm on
Courtney's shoulder. "Remember, Ken has emotions to cope with, too.
If nothing happens, it's not because he doesn't love you. In fact,
it's probably the opposite."

"So you don't object?"

"You're an adult, Courtney. You can make up your own
mind on these matters."

"But would you do it if you were me?"

"Probably," Renee admitted in a hushed voice. "In
many ways the decision you're making is the same as when I was in
the cave with Lem."

Courtney broke into a smile and hugged her friend.
"Thanks, Renee. I'll apologize to Linda in the morning. It's not
that we aren't good friends..."

"I know," Renee replied.

****

Courtney hardly said a word as she drove the Mustang
back to the farm but she could feel her heart thumping in her rib
cage. Ken sat beside her, looking as nervous as she felt.

They drove into the barn and walked through the
chilly darkness to the house. It was only after they reached the
kitchen when Ken wrapped an arm around her. She turned and cuddled
against his chest, smiled and pretended not to notice his expanded
fly.

"Ken." She gulped. "Let's go to the bedroom." She
took the condom from her pocket and handed it to him. "Put this on.
I want you to make love to me."

Ken held the package and flushed. "You do?"

"Of course. Why not?" Courtney retorted, then
remembered Renee's words and grabbed both his hands. "I love you,
Ken and I want you. But if this isn't the right time, I can
wait."

"Of course I do," he stuttered. "It's just that I
thought…"

"Don't think. Just act," Courtney whispered and led
him to the bedroom.

****

After a frenzied session of lovemaking Renee awoke to
find Lem snoring beside her. It was Sunday morning so there was one
more day to relax before the onslaught of another week. She slipped
out of the sheets and into her pajamas, before she headed to the
bathroom. The shower was running behind a closed door, so she
tapped on it.