Catalyst (41 page)

             
I held in my gasp at his words. Hadn't I thought similar things just seconds ago about
his
warmth? I sighed and said, "You can't ever do that, again, Daniel. I mean it."
             

             
"I know, but I had to do it once. This seemed like the most opportune time without there being consequences."

             
I wanted to laugh at
the
sheer ridiculousness of
that
,
but kept my composure. He said the sweetest things, whether he realized they were sweet or not.
Cain was
gruff and
protective and definitely could be sweet sometimes, but D
aniel was so honest with his no-
filter thing. Completely open.
Oh gosh…he'd just kissed me. Ok, worry about that later.

             
"Ok, let's get going."

             
"Wait. The Taker can read your mind. You mustn't think of anything but what a girl in your position would think about when you face him."

             
"Ok. Do the blur thing and go into the bunker,
get what we need."

             
He was bac
k in seconds with what I'd asked him to bring
. He placed them gently into his pockets and
let me lead the way out the door.
But before we made it
Max
tried to stop us
.

             
"Are you playi
ng hero, Lillian?
"

             
"I have to do this, Max
. Don't get in our way."

             
"Cain will be very upset by this."

             
"I understand that," I squeaked, "b
ut I have to do this." When he sta
rted to hold his hand out to stop me,
I got hard. "Don't make me tell Daniel to lay you out so we can pass."

             
He sighed harshly and waved his arm in flippancy as he said, "Go ahead. It's
not like anyone listens to me anyway
."

             
I glanced back at Daniel to make sure he was still a go. His eyes blazed black and he nodded.

             
I could barely look at everyone as I made my way to the Taker. I wrapped my arms together over my chest to stop my hands from shaking. To be honest, I was surprised that Sherry wasn't pulling this stunt. Maybe I beat her to it. Maybe she was just too tired from being tortured.

             
I heard Cain's yell, his tortured expression when I looked his way was almost too much to bear. But it also sealed my resolve. I had to do this for him
. He had been through so much and yes, he would be angry if something happened to me and yes, he said he loved me. He loved…me, and I loved him. And though Daniel had just kissed me and I, maybe, had felt a spark of something because of his honesty and utter realness I realized one thing: Cain was real because of his love for me and his want to keep me protected and happy at any cost, even his own. Daniel was real because he didn't know any better and he was sweet only by happenstance. He had no idea what half the things even meant that came out of his mouth. He was trying to figure it all out. He wasn't in love with me, he was infatuated with the first person to make him feel. And for all I cared, he could find a new muse, because Cain, and the look on his face right now, not of betrayal, but of pure terror for me
,
was all I cared about.

             
He was real. And I was bound and determined to keep him safe, even if that meant sacrificing myself. If the plan worked like a charm, I'd be back before nightfall. If it didn't, well…I hoped Cain understood that I had to do this for him. For them all.

             
I remember yelling something hateful and mouthing 'I love you' to Cain. It was risky. I could've broken down right then, plan failed. But my resolve held and as I
turned to face Malachi I immediately thought about leaving, hating the store, being hungry, loving his
shiny
car; things I hoped would make him believe me.

             
And here I
sat here with the Taker now, my pretty
, grateful smile in place.
I waited for the perfect opportunity
to strike the match on my plan. He could read our current thoughts so I had to think of the plan only right before we needed to act. We'd have only seconds to
throw the gear into motion
.

             
He ran his hand up my thigh, causing Daniel to jerk in response. But this was my part to play, my scene to portray. I was the silly girl in love with the power the Taker emitted.

             
"So," Malachi drawled,
"what's your name, little one?"

             
"Lillian," I answered softly.

             
"
Mmm, Lilli
an. Very….wholesome," he sang
. I looked up at him and watched him. I was with the
Taker, the leader of all evil, s
o I looked my fill, wondering what all the fuss was about. He never looked up into my face, not once. He watched other things of mine, and though I was repulsed I kept my smile in place and a cons
tant stream of 'ooh's and 'ahh's
and 'gosh, he's so cute
'
s
playing through my head.

             
"Thank you," I murmured and tucked my hair behind my ear, but it made me ache to do so. Cain loved it when I did it and to use it for this purpose made me feel dirty.

             
"I prefer blonds, truly, though it's been a while. They are always a surprise. They are either meek and pure or wild and precarious. I wonder what you'll turn out to be," he murmured and
leaned closer to me in the seat. He pulled me by my leg and I slid across the seat surprisingly easy, reminding me that though he looked like a pompous twerp, he was the leader of
all
evil.

             
"I'm not sure which I am, my lord. Surprises are always fun t
h
ough, right?"

             
He laughed at my remark, clearly enjoying the banter, and then said, "Oh, yes." When he planted his face into my neck and I felt his disgusting, cold tongue on my skin, I knew this was it.

             
"Now, Daniel," I said loudly. I tried to push Malachi away, but he held tight. I hoped that Daniel carried out our plan, and that I didn't burn up in the process.

             
Either way, this Taker was going to die.

You're On
,
Pippy

Chapter 33
- Sherry

             
I felt anxious as I helped Racine inside and placed her on the couch with Miguel's help. He looked down at her and checked her pupils. She just lay there.

             
"She's down for the count, and I don't mean boxing."

             
"I know," I said. "Oh
…poor, Josh. Racine will blame herself."

             
"Yep," he agreed. "Josh was worried about her on the run. I hope she get
s
that;
he was just protecting her. That is goes both ways. The Specials care about the Keepers
,
too."

             
I nodded and then swayed for no apparent reason. Miguel steadied me, that was when I realized that I was about to fall.

             
"Whoa. What's up?" Miguel said and peeked down into my face. "Are you goin' to fall out too?"

             
I wrapped my arms around him in a sudden bout of vulnerability.

             
"Are you alright? Talk to me, love
,
"
he said into my hair.

             
"It's just so much, Miguel,"
I told him
, my voice catching and curving
. I looked up at him. "I
don't
think I can't handle this anymore.
How much more can we take?
"

             
"Sure you can." He grimaced and smoothed an awkward finger over my cheek to catch a tear. "You're the strongest sheila I know.
Plus, what are we supposed to do? Play dead like a bunch of armadillos or come out swinging? I prefer to swing.
"

             
"
Yeah, me too. Though it's not like I could do any damage," I said and he chuckled. "I'm just so tired of living like this."

             
"Just…" H
e sighed and looked around, as if for help. "You're
just upset because Merrick blew
off with Cain.
We're all a little knackered and worn out right now.
And
with
Josh… Major things are going down right now. Just give that body of yours a minute to process."

             
"Ok.
"

             
"It'll all be apples soon, true
?"

             
"Sure,
"
I answered having no idea what that meant, but figured it was along the lines of 'it'll be ok'.

             
"Well, I don't believe you, but
unfortunately I have to take a decko
on Ellie. You want to come with?"

             
"No," I whispered and
shook my head. "I'
m alright," I said and tried for a smile.

             
I heard him sigh. He squeezed my hand and said as he walked off, "I'll be back in a bit, love."

             
After a while,
I heard Lily's voice and snapped out of myself. She was standing at my feet and
grabbing at my hand.

             
"Mommy, I'm hungry."

             
"Ok,
bug,
" I said and took her to the kitchen. After making her a bowl of noodles and setting her at the table I went to the doorway of the kitchen and looked out at the commons room. Everybody was scrambling around and anxious. Should we be packing to head out of here since the Taker knew where we were and he left? Was our hideout compromised? Should
I
go and box up some food? Should I check on Racine? Should I be worrying about Lillian? Should I go to the shower and cry until my eyes were red for days?

             
I couldn’t think. So I just stood there and let everyone worry around me.

             
At some point, the pastor came over and tried to talk to me. After a few pleasantries that I forced out, he could tell I wasn't with the program and left
with my directions as to where the bathrooms were
. His daughter and that other man didn’t say a w
ord to me nor
I them.

             
I thought about the last time I'd been in this doorway, with Josh. Bantering about dating…so mundane…so normal. He was gone.

             
Marissa eventually came up. Jeff was gone with the rest of them and she
was wringing her hands in that way that she did.
I
could tell her skin was sallow and she looked like she could be sick at any second. The mother hen in me took over.

             
"Are you ok?
"

             
"No." She shook her head furiously. "No, I'm not.
It's going to be worse now, when Jeff leaves. I can't think about
anything but Josh…that could've
easily been Jeff or any one of us."

             
I pulled her to me and hugged her tightly. She was getting scrawny, what with her being sick and all, and it would only get worse now. I closed my eyes and refused to think about
the food crisis yet. One thing
at a time.

             
Miguel and Ryan were back with Ellie, the boys were gone, Racine was incapacitated, Polly
was gone, Piper really was the devil, and Josh…
oh…
I
squeezed my eyes
shut tighter
to stop the burn.

             
Everyone else was running around but the redhead.
I pulled back from Marissa and smiled to make sure she
was ok. She smiled back, barely but when I let go she swayed.
I couldn't remember
the redhead's name so
I waved at her and when I got a curled lip as a response, I knew she wasn't bestie material
,
but I waved her to me anyway.