Catalyst (43 page)

Beauty From Ashes

Chapter 35
- Lillian

             
Cain barely let me eat my noodles before he was pulling me to him. I had thought there was
a
night full of caresses and kisses in my future, but he just
removed my shoes and socks. Then
pulled me to him and held me tucked under his chin. His hands roamed in a protective and relief filled manner.

             
He exhaled several times only to squeeze me when he did. I didn't really know what to say to him. I felt guilty yet happy, safe yet scared, horrified yet honored all wrapped into a messy package.
If I hadn't done what I did, we'd all be dead, I had no doubt. There was no way we'd have gotten the drop on the Taker like that. And he knew of Calvin's fire hands, because of the old Taker's memories. He never would have let him get close enough.

             
But I still felt wretched for putting Cain through it.

             
I reached up to rub his head, but he stopped my hand only to kiss my fingers and hug it to his chest.

             
"I'm soothing you tonight," he said finally. "I'm taking care of you. You risked everything for us."

             
"For you," I told him. He bent to see my face. "I
still
would want to have done it if you weren't here
,
but I'm not sure I would have had the courage to. But with you…I did it without hesitation." I pulled him to me to lean against my head. "I don't think I'm cursed anymore."

             
He jolted at that and smiled a little in surprise before saying, "It's about time. Why not?"

             
"Because, there's no way that you could be associated with a punishment. You're my Keeper," I kept going though he sighed raggedly, "and I know now, after everything that happened with Lily and…this is where I'm supposed to be. Everything I've ever done or been through took me to this moment."

             
He sighed again and pulled me back to him. I was starting to see if there was going to be any action, I'd have to instigate.
He was in a strange mood, with good reason.

             
I kissed his neck, right on his Adam's apple, before leaning back and kissing him on his lips. I thought he'd fight me or pull a you-need-to-rest move, but he didn't. He let me lead him. He didn't push or pull, he just let me do what I wanted. His hands never left the sides of my neck and face, though mine wandered quite a bit.

             
I pulled him over me and that was when he finally spoke.

             
"L, I want to. Gah, do I ever want to, b
ut I won't do this in response to you almost dying. Especially since you took off with Daniel to do it."

             
His voice had been steady, not angry. He was more hurt by my actions than mad.

             
"I used him," I said quietly.

             
"What?"

             
"I knew he'd help me because of the crush he has on me." I s
wallowed as
the devious deed sunk into me. "I used him."

             
"He used you too. He wanted to
show you that he was better than me. He thought that by letting you do it, that you'd think he treated you better and didn't try to control you.
" He grunted.
"
Like me."

             
"He kissed me," I confessed in a whisper and waited for the yelling or slamming door. I knew I probably just ruined our night together, but it felt wrong to keep it from him for another second. I felt my hands start to shake on his collar as he stayed silent. I licked my lips and said, "I'm sorry. I told him that he couldn't ever do that again-"

             
He kissed me hard and ardently, his lips twisting and demanding as he lifted up on his knees to be closer to me. He wasn't angry? I couldn’t take it, even though the assault was delicious, I pulled back. "You're not angry?"

             
"Oh, I'm furious," he said, his breath splaying across my face.
"
But I'll deal with Lighter boy tomorrow. Dead men aren't my concern right now."

             
He tried to come at me again, but I pushed a little and he stopped immediately. One more difference between him and Daniel; Cain stopped and headed my requests. Daniel t
ook what he wanted and headed the
requests that suited him, not me.

             
"You're not mad at
me
?"

             
"You told me," he said steadily. "You could have never said a word and I'd probably never have known
about it
."

             
"Yeah,
"
I agreed, "but that wouldn't have been right."
             

             
"And that is why I am in love with you," he growled, a strained and guttural noise that if you'd heard it, you wouldn't have understood based on the words he was saying. But I felt his chest rumble, I felt his fingers sweeping my hair, his lips claiming tiny expanses of my skin…one peck at a time.

             
That girl who broke his heart - I could think of no good words for her - but she had made him leery of relationships. Because
though
he said he didn't love her, the fact that she had cheated on him after accepting his promise, showed that words were useless. You had to put action behind them.

             
So I let him kiss and press me until I was flushed every color of roug
e
.
Then he leaned back on his knees and asked if I needed anything? Was I hungry still? Thirsty?
Comfortable? Did I want to sleep?

             
"I just want you," I said and tugged on his lip ring, now that I knew he loved it so much. His answering groan almost made me laugh. And now, as I lorded my g
uile over him, I felt beautiful and gorgeous and amazing, like he always said I was. Even with my charred clothes.

             
He asked if I wanted to get out of my clothes
and
….oh boy, what a question. He
laughed and shook his head before saying, "I
'll close my eyes
."

             
I took off my shirt and what was left of my jeans. One whole leg was almost gone anyway. Without looking, he took his shirt off over his head and helped me pull it on. When the col
lar went
over my face I almost groaned aloud at the smell. It was the best mixture of wicked and angelic I'd ever come across. And though angelic wasn't a word I'd associate with Cain, he was angelic with me. Careful, considerate, calculating.

             
When he pushed me back to our pallet gently and once again tucked me
in the cage of his
now bare
arms, I felt like a million bucks. A million bucks that had been through a washing machine cycle filled with rocks, but a million bucks nonetheless.

             
Cain was all the wealth I needed, right here is this concrete room. He was the catalyst in my life, just as Daniel had been a catalyst for our war, just as Lily had been a catalyst for the balance of life and death that was no longer clear cut, just as Piper had been a catalyst in her own right for more than one reason.

             
The scales tipped and we answered it. We wouldn't go down without a fight, no matter how bleak, no matter how hopeless.
Cain had said once that he always went out swinging no matter the situation or circumstances. That was a good motto.

             
But I didn't swing when Cain inched towards my lips once more, as if asking if I still awake
.
I grabbed on and didn't let go for the rest of the night as he held me like I mattered, treated me with utter respect and reverence, and his fingers crawled over
almost
every inch of my skin in an exploration that was long overdue.

             
I was in and out of sl
eep all night. So was Cain. He woke
several times in a fit of dreams. I'd wake him and he'd grab me as if checking to make sure he wasn't still dreaming. He kept me against him all night and once again, I felt bad for putting him through all that.

             
"I love you," I
whispered into his chest
, my fingers dancing lightly over his skin,
after he'd gone back to sleep. "I'm sorry for everything. I’m not sorry I saved you though and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. But I love you, so much."

             
I let me eyes drift closed and then heard his rumble, "Ditto that
last part."
I smiled and snuggled in, hearing him continue to tell me what I already knew
.
"I love you
too
, lovely
."
             

Going Out Swinging

Chapter 36
- Sherry

             
I leaned my neck back and let Merrick's lips move
against
and graze my skin there. I couldn't think of anything that felt better than his kisses on my neck.
The tingles and shocks they induced…
But then he found my mouth again and I knew I was wrong.

             
I loved Merrick like th
at
; r
ough and possessive and
commanding. He was always like that after a fight, or
a
battle, or when he'd been away from me. We'd had all three of those in the past couple days. So, needless to say, I was thoroughly enjoying the session.

             
As he kissed me over and over, I
told him things with my hands while
my mouth was occupied. With my fingers in the flesh of his arms, I told him that I loved him and loved what he was doing. With my hand in his hair, I told him that I'd missed him. With my legs wrapped around him, I told him to never le
ave me again, though that was a
request that neither of us could fill.

             
Afterwards, I was probably the most exhausted I ever remember being.
I pondered the events of the day
as he traced circles into my back with his fingers
. Racine had eventually gotten up and even eaten a small bowl of noodles, albeit silently. Then she went to bed.
Daniel never came out of his room
and
that was probably a good thing
considering he was on Cain's hit list
. We'd talked
briefly about the food crisis, bu
t the end of the night, everyone was just tired and had enough so we decided to have a meeting tomorrow.
Ryan has stayed with Ellie all night. I'd checked on them and he was content to sit on the end of her be
d
with her feet in his lap. Billings took some pills from Miguel, even after the pills I had given him, but apparently those had more kick.
He started singing and asking everyone to dance, eventually passing out on the sofa. Marissa told us about the hospital, how Billings must be sensitive to medicine
and we all have a good, needed laugh at his unconscious expense
.
And Jeff. Good old Jeff was going to be a daddy, and had passed out in front of everyo
ne like a grandma at a P. Diddy
concert.

             
I smiled at that thought.

             
"Hmm. Grinning in the dark is always a good sign," he murmured against my hair.

             
"How do you know what I'm up to, Keeper?"

             
"Because I know you. And I could feel it. Thank you for…that, wife."