Cattleman's Courtship (20 page)

She said that money didn’t matter to her. Yet the idea that his mother had left because of the tight financial situation was so ingrained in him, he couldn’t shift his thoughts in the direction Cara had gone.

He walked to the window of his bedroom. From here he could see his father working in the round pen, training his newest horse. He’d picked up the bay at the auction mart while Nicholas was out piling up hay bales with the tractor.

He’d never resented his father his hobby. But, as Cara had said, it required time and dedication that took his father away from the ranch.

Nicholas’s eyes drifted to the tractor sitting in the yard. Last year they’d had to put a new motor in. His father, in a rush to feed the cows so he could get to the auction mart, had used too much ether and blown the engine.

It took Nicholas a month of work to fix the tractor. Had he been home to run the tractor for the cows himself, he would have had to work one less month.

You enable your father.
Cara’s comment slipped into his mind and behind that, Lorne’s—
Take a chance. Love is a risk, but I think it’s a risk worth taking
.

Nicholas spun away from the window, wishing he could stifle all the voices running through his head.

He walked back to his bed and picked up the Bible again and reread the passage from Philippians, chapter 4. He let the words encourage him and soak into his life. When he had read it a number of times, he lowered his head and prayed for wisdom and strength to do the right thing.

Then he went outside.

His father was done with his horse and sat perched on a pail in the tack shed, braiding a lead rope. The shed was well stocked and neat as a pin. Neatly coiled ropes hung on the wall. Brushes and currycombs, hoof picks and trimming tools all had their place.

Across the far wall, five saddles hung on their respective saddle trees. One of them was the roping saddle his father had won. The other four were custom-made for his father.

Paid for by his father’s horse trading, supposedly, but Nicholas knew a portion of the money he earned went into his father’s hobby.

Nicholas brushed away the traitorous thought. He had made his own choices. No one was putting a gun to his head to go out and work. Nicholas would be lying if he said he didn’t benefit from the high wages he got paid.

Since talking to Cara, he kept seeing his father’s role in the ranch in a different light. He looked at what his father did through Cara’s eyes and he realized that, to some degree, Cara was right.

“How’s the new horse?” Nicholas asked, picking up a brush that had fallen to the ground.

“He’s a bit jumpy, but he’s willing and eager. He needs a bit of work, but then they all do.” Dale gave Nicholas a wink. “Time and miles. That’s what makes a mediocre horse good. Time and miles.”

And his father spent enough of both on his horses, Nicholas thought.

“So, I’ve been penciling a few things out.” Nicholas ran his thumb over the soft bristles of the brush, remembering how much he loved brushing his own horse after a long ride. Remembering how he seldom went riding anymore. “After we sell these heifers, I’m thinking I’ll stay at home.”

“So how do you figure that would work?” his father asked, his hands working the rope, his movements slower now.

“The ranch is coming along. We wouldn’t get as much money as we used to, but we’d get by. And I’d be home more.”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” Dale said. “I manage fine while you’re gone.”

“But I don’t.” Nicholas sighed. “I’ve got a fancy truck with all the options paid for by my work. We’re accumulating land and vehicles and for what?”

Dale’s set the rope aside and, resting his hands on his knees, looked up at Nicholas again. “You know one of the reasons your mom left was because we were broke all the time?”

Nicholas crossed his arms over his chest, his mind going back to what Cara had said. “Maybe Cara is different.”

“We back to that Morrison girl again? Are you forgetting how hard it was when she dumped you?”

Nicholas’s frustration with his father took wings. “Why are you so determined to think the worst of her? What has she ever done to you?”

“Dumped my son.”

“But that was my pain, Dad. You didn’t need to take it on.”

Dale glared at Nicholas. “It was the same pain I went through. And you know why I went through it? Because it was Audra, Cara’s mother, that convinced your mother to leave.”

“What are you saying?” Nicholas frowned at his father, who nodded.

“Audra Morrison blew into town one day. Met up with your mother and they got to talking. Barb got to complaining. Next thing you know Audra’s convincing Barb that she doesn’t need to stay with me. That she doesn’t need to keep living this life.” His father picked up his rope again and yanked a strand through.

“And how was that Cara’s fault?”

“She’s just like her mother. Coming into our lives. Trying to convince you to stop working. Changing things in my life.”

Nicholas stared at his father, feeling as if pieces of a puzzle were slowly falling into place. His father knew how Cara felt about Nicholas’s jobs.

His mind ticked back to the last time he had talked to his father about cutting back on his hours on the job. The note of panic in his father’s voice. How his father insisted Nicholas stick to the plan.

“We can’t afford you quittin’,” his father now said.

Nicholas leaned against the shed, the wood warm on his back. As he watched his father’s quick, jerky movements, things that Cara said slipped into his mind.

Was he really enabling his father? Was he really making it easy for his father to indulge in his hobbies while Nicholas was working?

The thought seemed disloyal, yet…

“Cara grew up with a lot of stuff,” his father said after a moment of silence. “She’s used to a higher standard of living than this ranch can give her.”

“I don’t think money is important to her, Dad,” Nicholas said. “She told me she’d sooner have had her mother than the money Lori and Alan spent on her.”

His father didn’t answer and as Nicholas watched him, another thought spiraled up through his consciousness.

“Did Mom leave because money was tight?” he asked, giving voice to those thoughts. “Or was something else going on?”

His father stared down at the rope he’d been working on. “What do you mean?”

“You spent a lot of time at rodeos, didn’t you?”

“You have to if you want to get to the qualifying rounds.” Dale looked up at him, his eyes narrowed. “And if you’re going to go on about the money it cost, like your mother always did, you know I often broke even.”

“But was it really the money she was worried about, Dad? Do you think she might have sooner had you around every weekend?”

Dale snorted his response, threw the rope down and surged to his feet. “Your mother would have been fine with everything if that Audra had stayed away from her. Your mom wanted more…and I couldn’t give her what she wanted.”

He stormed out of the shed, slamming the door so hard it banged shut and flew open again.

As it swung and creaked on its hinges, Nicholas bent over and picked up the rope, fingering the unwoven ends. He sighed as he hung it back up.

He had hit a sore spot with his questions to his father and for the first time in years, other speculations about his mother’s leaving colored his thoughts.

And, as always, his mind drifted back to Cara and what she had said. How she had challenged him. She knew he loved working on the ranch. She knew what it meant.

He wasn’t sure what was happening between them, but he wanted to see where it would go.

Talking to his father about her was a waste of time and breath. One of these days Dale would simply have to accept her as his…what?

Nicholas didn’t want to think that far. Didn’t dare. For now, he and Cara were together. For now they enjoyed being with each other. It felt right. Good. And it made his heart feel whole.

As for his father?

That he would have to deal with another time.

Chapter Fifteen

T
he corral was filled to bursting with cows, calves and heifers.

“Can’t see why we need to test the whole works.” Dale Chapman underlined his complaint with a frown.

“Just a precaution,” Cara said, though she also didn’t know why they were doing all the cattle. Nicholas was only shipping the thirty heifers across the border, and as far as she knew they were the only animals the buyer wanted tested for tuberculosis.

“Typical vet. Make you do more work than needs to be done.” Dale glanced at her, his frown deepening. “I thought just Gordon, that new vet, was coming.”

“He wanted some help.” Cara kept her tone even as she climbed up and over the fence and away from Dale. She zeroed in on Nicholas, as if to draw strength from his presence. But he was talking to Dr. Moen.

When Gordon had asked her to come, her feelings were mixed. One part of her hoped to see Nicholas again. To test the change in their relationship.

Things were so tentative between them, so fragile, yet a sense of anticipation floated up within her. A sense of settling, which was both new and frightening.

She wasn’t sure where this was going and she didn’t know what kind of plans to make. But in the next week and a half she had to make a decision.

The job on which she had pinned so much of her hopes still waited. Yet to make a major life decision based on a few kisses and a few moments with Nicholas seemed foolish.

“You don’t belong in a lab. You belong out here, working with animals.”

Nicholas’s comment twisted through her thoughts, shifting the foundations of her plans.

And then, there he was, standing in front of her, a gentle smile hovering around the edges of his mouth.

“I’m glad you could come out, too,” Nicholas said, his voice igniting the spark of possibilities within her. “I was going to call you. See if you’re free this weekend. I know you’re on call all week.”

“I’m not on call over the weekend.”

“Great. What do you say to dinner in Calgary?”

Cara’s smile started inside her and spread outward. The last time they spoke, Nicholas was leaving for Kuwait on the same day he wanted to go out with her.

“That sounds like a fabulous idea.”

“Lorne told me about this restaurant. He said it would change my life.”

“That’s putting a lot of pressure on one restaurant.” The unspoken message hovered between them and Cara’s heart thudded heavily in her chest. Their eyes held as the import of his offer registered on both of them.

“No. There’s no pressure at all.” Nicholas’s own smile grew as he reached out and feathered a strand of hair back from her face. “It’s a bit fancy—”

“So no blue coveralls?” Cara asked, looking down at her own coveralls and trying to hide the flush in her cheeks, the sparkle of anticipation in her eyes.

“I’ll take you exactly as you are,” Nicholas said, his hand lingering on her cheek.

Cara looked up at that and as their eyes held, older, deeper emotions kindled and grew.

And with them a sense of coming home.

“I’m glad you came,” Nicholas said, his hand drifting down to her shoulder. “I feel better knowing you’re on the job, as well.”

Cara caught Dale glancing at her, his eyes dark. Even from here his fury was as palpable as a slap.

She wished it didn’t bother her. Wished he wasn’t a shadow hanging over their growing relationship. But he was. And sooner or later, she and Nicholas would have to deal with Dale’s feelings toward her.

“I think Gordon knows what he’s doing,” Cara said, shaking her head as if to turn her focus on the waiting job. “Besides, this is just a formality. Alberta is a TB-free zone.”

“How long before we know anything?” Nicholas removed his hand, his voice growing businesslike.

“Two days.”

“And then?”

“Then you’ll be able to ship the cows and collect your paycheck.” Cara added a grin to her comment, to show Nicholas she was kidding.

He didn’t smile in return and Cara wondered if her comment about money bothered him.

“Gordon said he wanted to run the heifers through first so I better get them moved.” Nicholas slipped on his gloves and jogged over to the corral without a backward glance as Cara regretted her ill-timed comment.

Though they had made plans for the weekend, he hadn’t said anything about the job waiting for him in Kuwait and she hadn’t said anything about her job in Montreal. It was as if they lived in a bubble, holding off reality.

But what would they do when reality intruded?

Cara looked around, taking in the scenery that was both peaceful and overwhelming. She tried to imagine staying here, becoming a part of the history permeating the house, the farm, the land.

She thought of Nicholas and how things had changed between them.

She had thought she and Nicholas had been in love the first time, but now, it seemed as if the feelings growing between them were different. Deeper. Richer.