Caution to the Wind (26 page)

“Where are we headed now, Buck?”

She didn’t really care, but if he wanted to talk it seemed a safe subject.

“Home,” Buck said, with an almost nostalgic look on his face.

“Home? Where is home for you?”

She knew Buck had to come from somewhere, but he seemed to have been bred for the sea. She didn’t think home could be anywhere but a ship for him.

“Baltimore.”

The deck rolled under her feet.

Baltimore? The mere mention brought to mind the letter and its report of the countryside to the northwest, an area inconsequential to the captain, but home to Amanda.

He is indispensable to me
. The captain’s words replayed in her head. Had that been no more than a diversion intended to thwart Miss Bowersley?

Buck turned to her and his smile dissolved. “Adam, are you all right?”

The ship heaved again, and Amanda grasped the bulwark. “Yes, as I said before, I’m just tired from last night.”

Buck just managed to catch her in his arms before the world went dark.

Chapter Twenty

Dawn of the next day saw the
Amanda
docked in the Port of Baltimore. The scent of rotting refuse and the cloying odor of dead fish brought Amanda to her senses almost as if someone had waved smelling salts beneath her nose. Lying still in her hammock, she listened to the familiar shouts of street vendors and sailors fighting to make themselves heard over the cries of the gulls scrapping over bits of dead fish and other flotsam that rode the waves and washed up on the docks. She had forgotten how noisy and smelly Baltimore could be. She turned on her side, drew her woolen blanket over her head, and willed it all to go away.

Pleading ill, she had managed to convince Cookie to take over her duties for the rest of the day. If Captain Stoakes intended to be rid of her, he would have to reacquaint himself with the Irishman’s cooking sooner or later anyway.

Cookie had worn a worried frown and rung his apron between his hands, but didn’t protest. She supposed it helped that Buck had carried her below and laid her in her hammock. She had regained consciousness to find herself nestled in his strong arms while he navigated the steep steps. Cookie hovered over her like a mother hen, clucking his tongue and offering her food which Amanda did her best to decline without hurting his feelings.

The doctor checked on her once, measuring her pulse and feeling her forehead with the back of his hand. He pronounced her to be suffering from simple dehydration. Rest and water would be all she needed to get back on her feet.

Even Buck and Bull had come late in the afternoon to assure themselves she was well despite remaining abed through the day. She had tried to rise, but both of them insisted she should get as much rest as possible.

Neil visited last. His worried frown told her how much he cared, even if her little brother couldn’t admit it aloud. When she assured him she was feeling better, he said he would relay the good news to the rest of the crew. After all, they were worried about her.

All day she had lain in bed, restless and wondering if the next knock at the door would be his. The captain never came.

Amanda threw back her blanket. She had had enough. A new day had dawned, and they were in Baltimore. If he didn’t have the courage to face her, to tell her of his plans directly, she would go to him.

****

“He’s not there.” Neil said when she knocked on the captain’s door some time later to bring him his breakfast. “He’s gone ashore with his friend, Captain Stoddard.”

“Captain Stoddard?” Amanda asked, trying to remember where she had heard the name.

“Yes, that’s the captain who transported us back to the
Amanda
after we auctioned our prize in Boston.”

“Oh, I remember.” Amanda pressed her lips together.

She remembered all too well. Captain Stoddard had put her little brother’s life in jeopardy by taking on a 64-gun frigate.

Women don’t belong on ships
. The captain’s oft-repeated words echoed in her brain, and her stomach plunged to her feet. Had Captain Stoakes gone ashore to make arrangements to put her off the ship? Perhaps this Captain Stoddard was necessary in some way to his plan. Or, as a fellow captain, he might be sympathetic to the dangers of having a woman on a ship and have offered his assistance.

Her shiver rattled the contents of the tray.

“Did they say what they were about?” She tried to hide the small tremor in her voice.

“No.” The corner of Neil’s lips twitched just before he turned to go.

She scowled at him as he climbed the stairs to the upper deck. Why did her little brother have to be so happy about getting rid of her? Had she been that overbearing?

More than likely, Neil had adopted some of the captain’s notions about women on ships. They had spent enough time together these past few weeks.

Amanda took the captain’s uneaten breakfast back to the galley, then returned to her hammock and lay staring at the ceiling for the next hour, trying to decide whether she should be more angry or sad. Amanda’s emotions were like a storm cloud, each one rolling over the other until only a jumbled mass remained.

Neil popped his head through the open door.

“Captain wants to see you in his quarters.” He waggled an eyebrow at her.

Amanda sat up in her hammock, her heart hammering against her breastbone.

“His quarters?” She tried to swallow but found it difficult.

So this was it? The time had come for her to leave the
Amanda
and the life she loved behind.

Neil came and sat by her, a mix of sympathy and impatience on his face.

“Mandy, he cares for you, you know,” Neil paused and squeezed her forearm. “You should trust him and let someone take care of you for once.”

Amanda clasped her hands in her lap and looked down at them. “Neil, what can you possibly know of this?”

“I know the way he looks at you. The way he’s always looked at you, even before he thought he should.” Neil chuckled. “Imagine his relief when he found out you were a girl.”

“Relief?” Amanda squeaked. “You saw how angry he was when he found out. He glowered at me for days. He still does.”

Neil shook his head. “I don’t think it’s anger in his eyes.”

Amanda nudged him with her elbow. “Oh, what do you know? You’re only thirteen.” She sighed. “And I’m only a woman.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s aware of that.” Neil nudged her back, his grin suggesting he knew more than any thirteen year old should.

Amanda couldn’t help but laugh. “You know what I mean.” She gazed into his brown eyes and hesitated. “I will miss you.”

“You’re not going to start crying on me, are you?” He arched a dark eyebrow at her in a way that reminded her so much of the captain.

They really were two peas in a pod. Knowing he would look after her younger brother made her fate easier to accept, at least at some level.

Amanda swallowed her tears, then set her hand on her brother’s shoulder and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“I love you, Neil.” She tousled his hair as if he were eleven again.

Instead of pulling back or complaining, he gave her his best eleven-year-old grin, his mop of brown hair sticking out in all directions.

Amanda stood and brushed her hands against the front of her breeches, trying in vain to smooth the many wrinkles. With a dignified tug at her stained cotton shirt, she strode out the door, her back straight and shoulders squared.

“Now, that’s the sister I know,” Neil said as he watched her go.

When she arrived at the captain’s quarters, she found the door ajar, but she knocked anyway.

“Hello?” She pushed the door open just enough to stick her head through, expecting to see him engrossed in work at his desk.

His quarters appeared empty. She stepped inside to be sure.

Had she misunderstood Neil? Maybe he had said “on deck”, and her overactive imagination had supplied what she wanted to hear.

Amanda’s gaze strayed to the captain’s clean desk. She hadn’t straightened his things, and she doubted the captain had it in him. But somehow between this morning and now, someone had come in and cleared everything so that only a small sheet of parchment remained. She picked it up with a trembling hand.

Dearest Amanda,

I have bought you a gift that I hope you will do me the honor of accepting without questioning my motives. Actually, I have two gifts for you. The first lies in a box on my hammock.

Note in hand, Amanda walked to the captain’s hammock and opened a large, white box. In it lay a stylish, emerald-green satin dress, finer and more expensive than anything she had ever owned. She ran her fingertips across the soft material before returning to the note.

I had to guess at your size, but if you need alternations, ask Bull to
get the sailmaker to assist.

Amanda held the tips of her fingers against her lips. The thought of turning Bull into a lady’s maid was one thing, but the sailmaker into a dressmaker? The curmudgeonly old man excelled at sewing canvas, but she would not let him anywhere near the delicate fabric of her one and only dress.

The other gift is of a slightly more personal nature, and I hope you will forgive me for any impertinence or unintended offense. I know living aboard ship requires one to forego many of the luxuries ladies are accustomed to. As I recall, one of those luxuries is a hot bath—in fresh water.

A bath? Amanda hadn’t taken a bath in months. She had done her best to stay clean, but she had to settle for washing at the basin in her spare moments of privacy.

The only other option was a dip in the sea, which had the effect of washing away human dirt only to leave one covered with a thin coating of salt and never giving the sense of being truly clean.

Amanda spied the tub in the corner of the room, steam rising from it.

Do not worry about being interrupted. I ordered Neil to find Buck after he escorted you to my quarters. They are to stand guard outside the door while you have this time to yourself. I will not see you until this evening.

Yours always,

Will

Amanda tiptoed to the door and peeked out. From his station outside the door, Neil waggled his fingers at her, delight shining in his eyes. From the other side, Buck stared straight ahead. His lips were set in a straight line, a heroic effort on his part to not show his delight but one that didn’t extend to the dimple in his cheek.

Amanda shut the door again and read the rest of the note.

P.S. Now that I have hopefully impressed you with my gallantry, I have a favor to ask. My good friend, Captain Stoddard, and his officers will be joining us for supper. I would like you to join us as my guest, but I’m afraid I also need your help in making sure Cookie doesn’t kill us all. It would reflect badly on me if one of the Continental Navy’s finest officers should die aboard my ship.

Amanda stared at the paper in her hand, completely befuddled. She thought he had been ashore making arrangements to return her to her farm. She fingered the cool satin. Instead, he had been buying her a dress.

She scanned the letter again. That didn’t mean he hadn’t also found time to make arrangements for her departure, but the letter said nothing about it. Only that he wanted her to prepare supper for an old friend of his and to join them.

Surely he intended her to wear the dress. Why else would he have purchased it? That meant he wanted her, Amanda, to join them, not Adam. But why now?

Amanda read through the letter again, searching for clues to his intent.

If she wore a gown, the entire ship would know her secret, and there could be no predicting how they might react. Did this gift signal her imminent departure from the
Amanda
? Perhaps he just required her services one last time before he sent her on his way. If so, he might see no harm in letting his men know who she really was. Perhaps the knowledge would even aid him in his effort to rid himself of her. If some of the crew really saw a woman as bad luck, they’d insist she be removed.

She stared at the letter, her hand shaking so badly she could barely read.

He had signed his name Will and not the more formal Captain Stoakes. Would he bother to give her his Christian name if he intended to leave her ashore and never see her again?

Eyeing the tub, she puzzled over the meaning of his signature, certain only of one thing. She would not let this gift go to waste, regardless of his intentions. She may not have Violet’s charms, but she would show him she knew how to be a woman too.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and drew it over her head. Then she peeled away the bindings around her chest, reveling in the brush of cool air against chafed skin. Shucking her breeches, she tossed them into the pile with the other clothes and stepped into the tub.

While she soaked, Amanda took her time contemplating a dinner menu that would do their ship and its captain credit. Unfortunately, her thoughts wouldn’t stay focused on the topic of food.

Will
. His name is Will, she thought, sinking deeper into the water until it lapped against her upper lip. Did it stand for William perhaps? He might look like a William, she supposed, but his dark hair and golden eyes spoke of a more exotic heritage. Wilhelm perhaps? She laughed, blowing bubbles in the water. Definitely not Germanic. Willard? No, that wasn’t right either. In the end, she decided he must be Captain William Stoakes. A very handsome name for a very handsome man. She sunk deeper into the water, a thrill rippling through her at the intimacy of knowing his full name.

By the time Amanda had washed her hair and risen from the tub, the skin on her fingers puckered, and the water had turned cold, but at least the red welts from her bindings had faded. She would have been happy to stay immersed for another hour or two, even with cold water, but she had a supper party to arrange.

She thought about donning her usual attire so she wouldn’t soil her new gown while she cooked, but she couldn’t bear the thought of putting on the old, grimy, very unfeminine garments after she had just bathed with lavender soap. She would wear Cookie’s apron over her dress and instruct him through most of the preparations from the other side of the galley.