Celtic Evil: A Fitzgerald Brother Novel: Roarke (20 page)

“You shouldn’t have been
able to be attacked here so in part this was my fault,” he began
slowly, closing the windows now and seeing his brother’s
reflection.

“It’s me who should be
dead. Nothing anyone can do to stop it if it’s meant to happen,”
Roarke shrugged, his tone going quiet. “I knew if I told Jess how I
felt it would doom her and it did.”

Kerry turned. “Neither of
you are doomed. We’ll deal with everything one step, one day, at a
time,” he vowed, watching from where he was standing as his brother
eased to the edge of the couch. “We need to lay it all out from the
day they died to finally to how all this started again.”

Roarke knew that but also
knew his memories of that day could be spotty at best, but right
then he wanted out of this room. It was closing in on him the
longer it went.

“Deirdre always said to
leave the windows open in the fall; that it airs out the house.”
Kerry saw the way his brother was twisting his hands, could feel
the almost his panic as he opened the windows again. “You never
used to be bothered like that.”

A short snort was his
reply. “Things change,” Roarke fought to keep the reason of his
claustrophobia down but figured Kerry already had a suspicion.
“What did Jess tell you, Kerry?” he asked finally, sounding
tired.

“Actually, she didn’t tell
me anything except a few basic things,” his brother replied, going
to the desk to eye the bundle of letters. “I’m afraid that while
trying to calm you down the first night here, I saw some things
that didn’t take a genius to figure out.”

Silence filled the room
except for a hesitant ‘Oh’ as Roarke shifted uneasily as if putting
distance between himself and his brother. “Yeah, well time heals
all wounds and all that rot.”

The light tone warned Kerry
that it wouldn’t take much to the walls to break. “Does it?” he
asked carefully, silently nearing Roarke and laying a hand on his
back.

“Don’t, Roarke,” Kerry
caught his arm when he whirled and held it when he would have
jerked away. “You know you’re safe here.”

“I haven’t been safe
anywhere except with Jessica since I was eleven bloody years old,”
his brother gritted, sighing at the level look he was getting. “I
cope with it, Kerry. Let it alone.”

Knowing it wasn’t that
simple, Kerry did release the younger man’s arm and then simply
waited since, as he recalled, Roarke needed to be the one to open
up.

Wanting to go up, dress and then check on
Jessica, Roarke had touched the knob to the office door when
something made him pause and he mentally fought with himself until
finally…

“Did you know?” he asked without
looking.

“What?” Kerry sat on the desk edge and
waited.

Roarke didn’t want this. He
didn’t want to face this part of his past but suddenly needed to
know this. He needed to understand.

“Did you know about it,
Kerry?” he asked again, finally turning to his brother. “Did you
know about what was going?”

“Roarke, I don’t expect you
to believe me, but until the other night, I had no idea what you
had gone through,” he replied honestly, staying where he was since
Kerry knew now wasn’t the time to approach. “I didn’t know until I
touched you and until Deirdre finally gave me these.”

He held out the bundle of
letters, seeing his brother’s eyes narrow as he saw them. “If I had
have known or even suspected what they were doing, what she had
told them to do, I would have been in Mayo, you would have come
home with me and those sadists would have hurt.”

The firm tones of his
brother made Roarke look at him fully, feeling the emotion from
him. The pain and anger that Kerry felt inside for what he believed
he had allowed to happen to his younger brother.

“She said you were better
off and that’s why you ignored my letters,” he stated softly, eyes
on the letters, and didn’t see his brother’s eyes spark. “I always
wondered.”

“You thought I didn’t care
or that I blamed you for Mum and Da’s death,” Kerry guessed, being
careful as he put the letters back on the desk so he could stand
up. “I didn’t know, Roarke.”

Roarke shifted uneasily,
finally going to look out the window; needing to focus on something
else but he still felt the unspoken between them.

“I think I knew when she
took me from here the last day that I probably would only return
here in a box, if that,” he began slowly, looking at his hands.
“The first week with the Walshes wasn’t too bad. I missed home; I
missed you and the others. Hell, I even missed Ry but I had
nightmares and I kept crying for you, for Mum and finally I was put
out in the barn to sleep so I wouldn’t disturb the
house.

Swallowing the sour taste
in his mouth, he wasn’t aware when Kerry stepped up behind him.
“The chores started the second week I was there. At first they were
typical, but the longer it went the more chores I got, the harder
they got while their kids stopped doing theirs. If a certain chore
wasn’t done at a certain time, you didn’t eat,” he laughed dryly as
he remembered. “Plenty of days and nights I only ate what I found
in that barn.

“I believed what they said
about me being slow, being stupid and everything else when the
punishments started.” Roarke closed his eyes and nearly moved when
he felt the hand on his shoulder but stayed still, needing this
contact to get through what was to come. “The first beating came
about 6 weeks after I arrived. I honestly don’t recall what it was
for since it never mattered. They’d beat me for anything. I could
breathe wrong and get beat. I started writing to you after the
second one, asking to come home but I never heard
anything.

“One day Gran showed up
after they’d beat me up pretty bad and I thought she’d see and take
me home, but she only nodded to Ida and told me that you had a new
life and I was left to deal with what I’d caused,” he paused a
second, unaware that he’d begun to shake.

Kerry didn’t move his hand
when he felt the shoulder under it shaking. “You don’t need to do
this, Roarke.”

“No matter what the Walshes
or Gran said I kept writing, kept hoping you’d remember me and come
for me but you never did,” Roarke fought to keep his voice even but
couldn’t quite do it. “They limited my phone access and I was
forbidden from ever calling you or Mac. I tried once and that was
the first time they chained me in the barn and beat me. The first
time I was…” he crossed his arms and felt his brother’s hand
squeeze. “I was twelve or so then when they started…”

“Roarke, stop,” Kerry felt
his emotions go edgier. “You don’t need to put yourself through
this.”

Turning slightly to meet
his older brother’s eyes, Roarke blinked and shook his head. “I
knew I’d die and after they started selling me to neighbors or
friends or them or their kids would rape me, beat me, I wanted to
die but I held onto the smallest hope that you’d read a letter I
sent or just come to see me.

“The day that Cam and Jess
came, I’d been chained in the barn loft for a couple days. I was
pretty out of it and only barely remember hearing Jessica talking
to me as Cam yelled,” he shook his head. “When I came out of the
shock, I was in London with them and knew I couldn’t tell you or
the others ‘cause they said if I ever did, that what happened to
Mum and Da would happen to you guys, so I made the choice of
walking away to save you.”

Kerry was careful to keep
his anger hidden right then, knowing it would scare the boy in
front of him more than he already was. “Let me take some of it,
Roarke.”

Understanding what he was
saying, Roarke shook his head; fear and shame still too huge in his
heart, but he didn’t pull away when his brother gently clasped his
face.

While Mac was the full
empath, Kerry had always been able to feel as well as take
emotional and physical pain if he needed to. Knowing what this
usually did to him, he decided this was important enough to take
the risks.

“Don’t think on the pain,
little brother,” he urged, really surprised when his brother stayed
still. “Nothing that happened was ever your fault. Not Mum and Da’s
deaths or what happened to you. If anything, all of this is my
fault.”

Surprised at this, Roarke’s
eyes snapped to his brothers and saw how the gray-blue had changed.
“No, you couldn’t have…”

“I should have fought
Kathleen more and kept all four of you here in Fitzgaren.” Kerry
saw the full scope of his brother’s fears, his life, and began
soothing those raw emotions with both powers and soft soothing
words spoken in Irish.

Roarke struggled slightly
but events and injuries made him tired so he didn’t resist as his
brother looked and soothed. He was still numb from everything so he
really wasn’t aware when the shields he had built crashed and only
the sudden strong arms around him kept him standing.

Tensing briefly since he didn’t like being
touched by anyone but Jessica, Roarke suddenly reached out and held
on.

“It’s o-kay, boyo,” Kerry
murmured, tightening his arms when he felt his younger brother was
holding on and not fighting the hold. “You’re home now and no one
will ever hurt you or us again.”

Silence filled the office
for a long time until finally Kerry felt most of the tension ease
from Roarke’s body. “Alright?” he asked, easing him back slightly
but not releasing him.

“Don’t know yet,” Roarke
admitted but did feel better than he had in a long time. “Probably
be better after I’ve seen Jessica.”

Nodding, Kerry let go and
lightly tousled his long black hair as he had done when they’d been
kids. “Go see her then. I’ll be up soon.”

“Kerry?” Roarke stopped to
look back and for the first time since returning home, he met his
brother’s eyes fully. “Thanks.”

“It’s what older brothers
are for, lad,” Kerry returned, waiting until the door closed fully
to sink down into his father’s chair and place his head in his
hands.

Expecting the aftereffects of what he did,
what Kerry hadn’t been expecting was his own emotions as he had
picked up on things that his brother hadn’t considered or thought
about.

Running a hand over an
obsidian ball sitting on his desk, he closed his eyes and forced
his emotions down in order to concentrate on the image in his mind
as he thought of all that had been happening and finally to the
person he was thinking of. ‘We need you.’

“Kerry?” Deirdre spoke from
the door, appearing concerned. “I passed Roarke who said he was
checking on the lass. Ryan’s still up there while Miss Cavanaugh’s
gotten Mac to take a bit of a lie down, and Ian’s ruining his
dinner,” she reported, frowning as she looked at him. “Are ye
alright, lad?”

“No, I’m not.” Her young
Lord replied after a long silence, finally shoving to his feet and
moving around the desk. “Tell Ryan I said to watch over Roarke and
ask Cam if his people could double-check security. I’ll handle
seeing to the magical shields when I return.”

Deirdre’s eyes looked
surprised. “Return?” she repeated, surprised. “Return, from
where?”

Kerry just reached his
usual leather jacket and did the spell in his mind. “From County
Mayo. I need to handle something,” he returned evenly, anger
tinting his words as he cast the teleportation spell and he
shimmered out.

“Oh, this isn’t good.” The housekeeper
whispered.

Roarke Fitzgerald had
stopped by his room to grab a clean t-shirt before going next
door.

Even before he entered, he
sensed the tension but couldn’t tell who it was coming from as
Peter Daniels paced the room while muttering in German, and Cameron
Young was between Nick O’Malley and Ryan Fitzgerald.

“My employer isn’t supposed
to be lunch for some hellhound,” Nick was complaining, motioning to
the bed. “Any deeper and I would have had to call my brother in to
deal with that bite, and none of us want Sean here.”

Ryan was pleased that he was keeping his
temper controlled when he saw his younger brother in the
doorframe.

Just a brief look told him
that something had happened because he didn’t feel the same angst
or unease in Roarke.

“Hey there, brat.
O’Malley’s griping as usual.” He turned from Nick with a smirk as
Roarke came in fully.

“Hey,” Roarke nodded, still
a little wary around Ryan, but right then he wanted to concentrate
on his friend.

Jessica Hadley still looked
pale to him as she lay under a quilt he recognized as one of his
mother’s handmade ones.

Sitting down on the bed, he
gently eased the quilt down so he could look for himself. Her
injured arm was lying across her chest with a white bandage wrapped
around the wound.

“How bad?” speaking because
he knew his brother was close, Roarke’s eyes remained on the girl’s
face as if looking to see any distress, but she seemed to be
resting easily and he knew that had been Ryan’s doing.

“The bite was minor and
because you had cast a protection spell, not too much of its poison
went into the bite.” Ryan leaned on the bedpost easily while the
merc leader got his mystic out of the room. “Her arm will be sore
and it may take another go at healing it to take the pain away, but
that’ll be fine.”