Centaur Redemption (Touched Series) (18 page)

When I opened my eyes, the light on his form was gone, and my human-looking Centaur stood in front of me again.  Drake wore nothing:  his clothes lay shredded on the floor of the Council Chamber – neither of us had bothered to pick them up.  Light from the sconce behind him highlighted his short blond hair.  Every muscle stood rigid on his chest, as his eyes reflected the longing I felt. 

A knock sounded at the door.  I hurled myself at Drake, ready to plead all over again for him to stay.  He didn’t flinch and made no effort to remove me from him; he only pushed a final thought to me while I desperately wrapped myself around him, “
I’m coming back.  Not because I think you’re too weak to live without me – that’s a lie, we both know you’re stronger than that.  I’m coming back because you owe me
.”

My eyes fluttered open as my breath hitched.  “Because I owe you?” 

His voice was soft, “You owe me a lifetime of nights with you curled up next to me.  You owe me the hours of sleep you kept from me this last month.  You owe me lazy days in a bedroom with blackout curtains.  You owe me more showers where getting clean isn’t the objective.  And something we’ve not talked about before, you owe me a son and a daughter.”

His last statement took me by surprise.  I nearly choked on the words, “I owe you a son and a daughter?”

“Okay, maybe you don’t owe me a set of twins – you owe that to Centaur society.  But as for everything else, yes, and I aim to collect.”  A forced grin spread on his face. 

Twins?  I wasn’t ready to be a mom.  Was he kidding?  My mouth opened to argue, but words failed me.  The knock sounded on the door again, and I knew we were out of time.  His gaze was still fixed on mine, “That’s a pretty tall order.  Especially that last part.  What do you owe me?”

“I owe you my life, because without you, I wouldn’t want mine.  I owe you my love for eternity, because before I met you, I wasn’t convinced love existed.”

The door cracked open to reveal the same enforcer who had escorted us to Zandra’s office.  “Young Nash, the Chairman is waiting.”

I glared toward the door and the enforcer cringed, easing the door closed slightly.  I saw him standing there in the crack of the door, unsure what to do next.  I angled my body so I was facing the enforcer.  “Tell the Chairman I’d like to see her.”

Fear shown through the enforcer’s eyes, “Uh, Miss.  It doesn’t work like that.”

He was just doing as he’d been told, but it didn’t stop me from letting out an audible sigh.  “Right, wouldn’t want to get you fired or anything.”  I walked to the door and pulled it free from the enforcer’s grasp; he leaped back giving me plenty of room.  I stuck my head out into the hallway.  Sure enough, Zandra was waiting by the stairs.  In the most proper, confident tone I could muster, I called, “Madam Chairman, I’d like a word with you, please.”

Zandra scowled in my direction.  She looked like she was going to tell me no, but she must have decided that I was prepared to make a scene or something because she reluctantly strode down the hall toward me.  She stepped inside and shut the door behind her.  Her condescending tone wasn’t a surprise when she sneered, “What now, Camille?”

My invitation had not been well thought out.  Drake stood behind me, no doubt trying to be nonchalant about standing in her office naked in his human form.  Any other time this might have struck me as funny, but as it was I could hardly concentrate on anything but Zandra.

I took a deep breath and steadied my voice the best I could.  I wasn’t scared of her, at least not like I’d been when I first met her.  After everything she’d put me through, there was not a speck of love for her, either.  All kinds of hateful things fluttered through my mind, and I suppressed each one before I could make the situation any worse than it already was.  I took one more deep breath, felt Drake’s reassuring squeeze on my arm, and then let my eyes settle on Zandra.  It tasted like vinegar coming out of my mouth, but I said it anyway, “Thank you.”

Her eyebrows rose.  Her voice was hesitant when she cautiously asked, “For?”

“Thank you for sparing my family, even for just a little while.  I look forward to your return.”  She nodded cautiously, but did not respond.  I didn’t know her very well, but enough to understand that threatening her wouldn’t work.  I told myself this might be my only chance to make her want to bring Drake back to me.  If I could just make her believe that I didn’t have it in for her, maybe she wouldn’t be reckless with him.  I cleared my throat, “Cameron tells me you showed him nothing but kindness, and for that, I’m grateful.”  She said nothing, but gave me a studious look, as if she were waiting for me to do or say something spiteful.  I didn’t.  Just as she began to turn away I added, “I hope that one day, I’ll be able to think of you as my family, too.”

Her back was to me, but my words stopped her in mid-stride.  I didn’t expect her to turn around and take me in a sappy embrace.  I didn’t expect her to apologize for the awful things she’d done.  And most of all, I didn’t expect her to throw up her arms and tell Drake she had changed her mind and he could stay with me.  It was good because she didn’t do any of those things.  Instead, she remained faced toward the door and simply replied, “I’d like that, too, Camille.  Drake, I’ll send Major Rabbabi in with some clothes for you.  We’ll depart immediately.”

She turned the door handle and disappeared into the hallway.  As if Major Rabbabi had somehow known what her request would be, the door swung open quickly and he tossed a uniform and pair of boots at Drake.  It was the same charcoal grey all the other enforcers wore.  The enforcer said nothing and closed the door behind him as he walked out.

Drake slid his legs into the pants and knelt down to put on the boots.  I watched him, the way his muscles flexed with even the most mundane task.  His hand that had cradled me against his chest just minutes before now laced up the boots that were going to let him walk away from me, maybe for good this time. 

I forced the never-ending tears to stay in my tear ducts.  I dried the tears that had already spilled out.  His last image of me wouldn’t be one of sorrow or sadness.  He stood up and slid his arms into the uniform shirt, trying desperately not to make eye contact with me.

When he was fully dressed, he stood tall, looked at the door then finally at me.  His words were calm, “I have to go, Cami.”

I nodded.  There was no argument left in me.  I couldn’t turn into a blubbering mess again.  It wasn’t fair to him.  I needed every ounce of strength I possessed to stay upright, but only for a few seconds more.  I gave him a quick hug, and forced my body not to cling to him, no matter how badly it wanted to hold on and refuse to let go.  Twenty seconds and he’d be gone.  I told myself,
Hold it together for twenty more seconds
.  I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but my lips wouldn’t cooperate and folded into a grimace.  Fifteen seconds and I could melt into a pile of goo.  His hand squeezed my elbow gently. 
Ten more seconds
,
hold it together for ten more seconds.

Drake’s lips brushed up against my ear
, “
I love you, Cami.  If anything happens. . .
”

I brought my fingers to his lips.  I couldn’t let him finish his sentence.  “I love you, too,” were the only words I could choke out.  My eyes burned and I looked toward the ceiling, trying to focus on the mahogany trim rather than the man who would hold my heart for eternity.

Drake took my face in his palms, so I was forced to look at him.  The burning in my eyes from holding back tears clouded my vision.  His voice was steady, “If anything happens to me, I’m going to take Zandra with me to the pasture.  Be strong for me.  Show everyone you are a Chiron.  I look forward to a long life with you, but if that isn’t meant to be, I need you to know I’ve felt more love in the last few weeks than most are lucky enough to know in a lifetime.  I regret nothing.”

His lips brushed mine one last time, and he walked away.  As soon as the door shut behind him, I collapsed to the floor.  A wail erupted from deep in my soul, and I made no effort to quiet it.  I don’t know how long I lay crumpled up on the floor.  I had no idea where the two of them were going, but I knew he was close enough to hear the thoughts I wanted him to hear.  I cleared my mind, wiped the moisture and snot off my face, took several deep breaths, then opened our connection.

When I could feel we were connected, I shot one thought his way.  “
I love you, Drake.  No matter what happens, know that a day will never pass where you aren’t my first thought in the morning, my last thought at night, and your arms are the ones I long to be in while I sleep.”

(Camille Nash – Lost City Resort in South Africa)

The days had passed slowly.  The heads of each family, except Pierre, departed the same night Zandra, Drake and a handful of enforcers left.  My family and I returned to the Lost City Resort to wait for them to return.  Pierre accompanied us with several from his family who had come to attend the Council meeting with him. 

This place had held so much beauty when we arrived.  Now it felt like my prison cell at Zandra’s estate.  I don’t know what I expected.  Zandra’s decree carried plenty of weight.  Not only was my immediate family safe, but Will told me others from the Lost Herd began to arrive within days as word spread that no harm would come to them. 

Each morning Will stopped by and wanted to introduce me to some new distant relative, and each morning I stood behind the door of my room and politely declined.  I was ashamed of myself.  There was so much for me to do. 

Before the Council meeting, Drake and I had talked for hours about how we could “win over” the others.  There were many who were curious about me, but I chose to sit in my dark room and do nothing.  I should be engaging with the enforcers:  I knew absent Zandra’s decree it would be them who pursued us.  Making friends now could only help.  Now was the perfect time for me to be an ambassador for my family. 

Each time I tried to gather the strength to do what needed to be done, I fell back in a well of self-pity.  This wasn’t me.  I couldn’t be crippled with loneliness.  I was stronger than this.  My family was counting on me, and I was letting them down.  Drake was counting on me, and I was letting him down, too. 

The only one who would be pleased with my action, or non-action, was Zandra.  Today was the day.  I had wept until no more tears were possible.  All week I had kept the curtains drawn tight, silently wishing for duct tape so I could shut out all the light from the rest of the world.  Enough. 

I stood up from the sofa, stretched my arms high in the air, and felt my muscles strain from the days of no activity.  I had taken to sleeping on the sofa because I couldn’t sleep on the enormous bed by myself.  The night we returned from the Centaur Council meeting, I was exhausted and my brothers poured me into the bed. 

The exhaustion did nothing to drown out Drake’s scent, still heavy on the pillows.  I moved to the sofa that night and only went near the bed when I wanted to torture myself.  My connection with Drake was gone.  Wherever he was, he was too far away for me to read his thoughts or send him mine.

I remembered back to my imprisonment at Zandra’s house, right after she convinced me Drake and Bianca were dead.  I’d refused to eat and silently hoped for my own death then.  It was Phineas who tried to coax me back to the land of the living.  He brought me food, spoke to me, and told me stories of his family.  I didn’t know at the time that we were both of the Lost Herd. 

At the time I was grateful for his help, believing him to be my one lifeline left on the planet. 
He
convinced me to choose life over death.  Unfortunately, the soft-spot in my heart for Phineas was short-lived.  Just a couple weeks later, he attacked Drake and left him for dead, kidnapped me and held me as his prisoner, then tried to trick me into marrying his son.  Maybe the reason both Zandra and Phineas felt they could manipulate me is I had shown them both nothing but weakness.

I knew Phineas and Will were close to one another; they were half-brothers.  It was just a matter of time before I’d have to face him again.  I wasn’t sure how I felt about him.  I wasn’t sure how I felt about anybody anymore.  The emptiness of Drake leaving shouldn’t hurt this much.  He didn’t leave by choice.  Drake’s words continued to torment me, “
If anything happens to me, I’m going to take Zandra with me to the pasture.
”

Was that his way of telling me he wouldn’t return?  Was he prepping me for the worst?  Why was I acting like this?
  Military wives dealt with separation all the time.  I had watched their reunions play out on the local news all the time back in San Diego.

Their husbands were deployed to war zones with the knowledge that there was a chance their last kiss really would be their last kiss.  Did they shut down?  Did they hide in a dark cave praying the sun would stop shining because their husbands left?  No.  They went to work.  They spent time with friends.  They kept it together.

A tap sounded on my door.  I was sure it was Will again.  Had it been twenty-four hours already?  It couldn’t have been.  I looked at the dishes left over from my room service breakfast.  Had I skipped lunch and dinner?  No, Will wouldn’t have let me. 

My fingers slid through my hair.  It didn’t matter who was at the door; I needed a shower.  Self-pitying-Cami was going to get washed down the drain.  Spying the clock across the room, it confirmed what I already knew:  it was time for lunch.  I would see how much of a stir I could cause by going downstairs for lunch and meeting all of the Lost Herd who had arrived and any other Centaurs around.