Chambers of Desire: Opus 1 (38 page)

“I know,” he said, taking a step closer. “Because you’re
good,
Sabrina. Because even though people have hurt you, you still go out there and love. I know you can’t understand, and that’s one thing I love about you.” I held my breath, just hearing the word
love
come out of his mouth.

His blue eyes were sorrowful, bright against his tanned skin. “I want to help you understand me, though. So you can know me. So you can count on me. Can you give me that chance?”

“I—I don’t know,” I said, my voice cracking. I wanted him back. I did. But so much had happened that I’d been torn to pieces. I didn’t know if I could take much more. If he ran away once, he’d run away again. Brandon had cheated on me, and now he had left me forever; Chloe had betrayed me, and my parents couldn’t be counted on. I didn’t know if I could handle another letdown. Better to have no one than to be betrayed and abandoned repeatedly…

Calvin’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “Because you were right all along, what we have is worth fighting for. I’m sorry I couldn’t… say those words before.
They say that all our relationships are a mirror of your relationship with your parents, and it’s certainly true for me. The people that are supposed to be the closest people to me betrayed me, hurt me, destroyed my trust. Relationships are hard after something like this happens, especially at an early stage in your life.”

“I know, Calvin,” I said. “But if you’re unable to commit, if you’re afraid of the word “love”, what can we do together? I don’t think I could go back to the way it was before, I need something bigger now.”

“I understand. But telling you I’m afraid of the word “love” is not why I found you here,” he said.

“Then why? Tell me.”

“The look in your brown eyes, Sabrina. It talks to me.
It touches my heart and makes me shake and shiver with delight. It warms me and gives me cold, cold chills at the same time. It makes me sane by driving me to the very brink of madness. When I look at you, I want to pick you up and run, laughing like a madman, carrying you in my hands. I want to run faster than anyone ever ran, carrying you away from the whole world to a place we could be safe.

“I want to heal the wounds. I want to ease the pain. I want to see you smile. I want to make you feel the way I feel. And when I see your eyes, I feel my heart slip from my hands and shatter into a million shiny little pieces, scattered all over the floor, covering everything with crimson rivers of blood. But it feels good... because even though you can never pick up all the little pieces, it’s well worth it. Worth it... to feel the way I’m feeling now.”

“Are you telling me you love me?” I asked.

“Ugh. You just got no compassion for me, do you?” he said with a smile.

“It’s okay. That will do for now,” I answered.

“My parents completely messed up my notion of love…”

I shook my head. “No, Calvin. No, it doesn’t have to be like that. What your father did to you, what he did to your mother—that’s not love, not any kind of love. You know better than that. You’re smarter and more sensitive and
wise enough
to understand that. As for the other?” I gave a mischievous smile. “That’s something we can work out together. Sure, our pasts have affected us. But we can let them make us stronger, closer, better. Together.” I took a step closer.

“Together,” he whispered back. He closed the distance between us and lowered his lips to mine. Electricity raced through me.

He drew back again, looking deeply into my eyes. I wrapped my arms around his waist, holding him close to me, listening to his heart. Now that I had him again, I didn’t want to lose him. My shoulders shook as I finally began to cry.

He folded me into his arms tightly, and I squeezed back. I was almost delirious with relief, the relief of having him in my arms, having him hold me.

“So, you’ll give me a chance?” he asked. I closed my eyes, nodding against his chest.

“Of course, I will,” I said. “I love you.”

Drowning in his kiss, I forgot everything else until a throat cleared nearby. Calvin took a step back, and we turned. I sheepishly smoothed my hair. Du Cheval stood there, a small smile on his lips.

“Shall I drive you back to the estate?” he asked Calvin. Calvin glanced down at me smiling, and I nodded quickly.

“That will be fine, thank you,” Calvin said.

In the limo, Calvin closed the glass between Du Cheval and us. He poured two glasses of champagne and handed me one as he lifted his own.

“What should we toast to?” I asked.

“To you,” Calvin said. “God, I’ve missed you so much.”
He stole a kiss.

“And to the future,” I said as our glasses clinked together.

And the car sped away into the night, carrying off our shimmering eyes, fluttering hearts, and a promise of a new life together.