Champion of the Heart (26 page)

Jordan remained silent, studying a piece of lint on her wrinkled dress.

“That’s what Fox says, too. The two of you must have long, involved conversations.”

“I’m going back tomorrow,” Jordan whispered.

Jordan could feel Beau’s quizzical gaze on her.

“I thought that was what you wanted,” Beau said.

Jordan wanted to see the children, yes. But something more powerful, something she couldn’t fight, wanted to stay with Fox. Her shoulders slumped. She couldn’t do both. What would she do if she had to choose? Jordan dropped her head to her hands. The choice was simple, really. She couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t return to the children, but her heart would ache for the rest of her life without Fox.

“I know this seems like a terrible way to live,” Beau commented. “Barely any light, no fires. Having to scrounge for food. But Fox would do anything for us.” Beau looked at the stone ceiling, putting his hands behind his head. “When Vaughn captured me, I knew Fox would get me out. I had no doubts.” He looked at her. “And he did.”

Jordan slowly lifted her head to look at him. “It’s not a bad way to live,” Jordan said. “Surrounded by people you trust.”

“It’s just not the way you’re used to living.”

“That’s not it,” Jordan said softly. “I have people to look after, people who depend on me. My children.”

“You have to do what you feel you must,” Beau said. “No matter how hard the decision.”

Jordan looked at him. She wanted to cry. She wanted to die. She could not stay with Fox. And she knew she couldn’t.

Beau stood and moved to the doorway. “Michael has gone to bed,” he told her softly.

Jordan lifted shocked eyes to him.

His grin was lopsided. “The ghost of Castle Mercer knows everything.” And with that he disappeared down the hallway.

Jordan rose immediately and moved down the hallway to the spiral stairway. She had to tell Fox why she couldn’t stay. He had to understand. She would give anything to stay with him... anything except for her children.

Jordan moved up the stairway to the dark hall. She half expected Michael to be there, waiting for her, but no form materialized from the darkness. No one moved to stop her as she made her way to Fox’s door.

She opened the door and entered the room, closing the door behind her. As she turned back into the room, a shadowed demon rose before her and a flash of light glinted in her eyes. The darkness concealed his features, cloaking him in blackness. He stepped from the bed, holding a weapon before him.

Jordan stood her ground as the blade neared her throat. Death was nothing compared to the agony consuming her.

A shaft of moonlight shone through the partially open shutters and Fox stepped into it, shedding the darkness like a cloak. He tossed his sword to the floor and seized her shoulders. “I could have killed you.” Half hidden by the night, he was so dark, so mysterious, so strong.

“I know,” she whispered.

“Why have you come?” he demanded, drawing closer to her.

“You’re going to let me go.”

“It’s what you want, isn’t it?”

Jordan couldn’t answer. Her mouth was dry and the words would not come. She felt tears of sorrow and loss burn behind her eyes.

“To be lady of a castle?” Fox continued.

Jordan studied him, searching for the answer. But his face was starkly empty of emotions.

“To be with other nobles?”

She winced as his fingers squeezed her arms.

“To wed Vaughn?”

“No, Fox. Don’t do this.”

“What should I do, Jordan?” he asked softly.

She knew what she wanted, but she didn’t know how to get it. It wasn’t fair to put those demands on herself when it was impossible for her to stay with Fox. She had to return to the children. And in returning, she had to wed Evan.

Even though she wanted Fox.

She looked up into his eyes again. “Would you kiss me if I asked you to?” she wondered, her throat closing around the pain and the horrible decision she knew she was going to make.

Fox was silent for a long moment, studying her face. “I would bring you the moon if you asked it,” he whispered and bent his head to hers. His lips touched hers with the gentlest of touches, as if a light wind had whispered across her mouth. But not even a tornado could produce the onslaught of emotions his kiss did. She pulled him against her, claiming him with a kiss and a touch that sent waves of fire flaring through her veins.

Suddenly, Jordan broke the kiss and flung her arms around his neck. “I’m your only hope of ever getting your lands and title back.” She held him tightly, never wanting to let go, never wanting to release him. “Why are you letting me go?”

“Don’t you know, Jordan?” he asked softly.

The only thing Jordan knew was she loved Fox. With all her heart. She shook her head against his chest. She didn’t want to leave him, didn’t want to feel the pain her abandonment would cause both of them. “I don’t know what to do,” she whispered as a savage sob tore through her body. “I don’t know what to do, Fox.”

Fox held her close, his breath hot against her neck. “There really is only one thing you can do.”

She pulled back to look into his eyes. He was right, but she didn’t want to let him go. She didn’t want to leave him. It wasn’t fair! She pressed her lips to his, tears rolling over her cheeks. “I was forced to leave you before,” she whispered between kisses. “I shouldn’t have to leave now.”

Fox pulled away, cupping her tear-streaked face in his hands. “You shouldn’t have to live like this. You’re a lady. I was wrong to take you away from your life. I never should have brought you back into mine.”

She pressed her fingers to his lips. “Don’t say that. I love you, Fox.” She pressed a kiss to his lips, to his cheeks. “I’ve always loved you. I just didn’t realize how much until these last few days.”

“Jordan,” he groaned. “Don’t. You only make this harder.”

But Jordan didn’t stop kissing him. She couldn’t. Finally, he responded with as much regret and need as she had, their kiss full of longing and remorse. Jordan felt his strong body against the length of hers as she pressed against him. She ran her hands over his naked chest, wanting to touch him, to remember him. His skin was warm to her touch. His powerful arms locked around her, exploring her waist, her back.

His hand moved to the nape of her neck, pulling her tight to him, closer to his tongue’s insistent need. She opened her mouth to his exploration and their kiss grew hotter as their tongues danced. His hand moved down from her neck and his feathery touch sent ripples of desire through her body. Finally, his hand eased down inside her dress and moved across her naked breast, cupping it, caressing it with a tight, teasing touch.

Jordan gasped, thrusting her breast into his hand. He stroked it, caressing and rubbing until spirals of ecstasy whirled inside her. Then his hands were behind her back, unhooking her dress. Gently, expertly, he eased it down over her shoulders, guiding the chemise down with it. His mouth did not leave her, his hands coaxing, his fingers urging until her dress and chemise hung from her waist.

Fox pulled her close, pressing her naked breasts to his chest.

Desire, hot and urgent, shot through Jordan. She moved her hips against his, unknowing, but knowing that was the spot where she needed him the most.

Fox pulled away from her and she instinctively went after him, reaching for him. But he caught her arms in his hands and held them out to the sides, studying her. “Lord, you’re beautiful,” he whispered. “More beautiful than any woman has the right to be.” He lowered his head to her breasts, running his tongue around one nipple, then sliding his tongue across the sweet valley between them to kiss the other. Both nipples grew hard beneath the wet warmth of his mouth.

Fire exploded inside Jordan and she wrapped her arms around Fox’s head, pulling him closer to her. Pressing him to her flesh.

His hands slowly lifted her skirts and moved slowly up her legs in spiraling circles, closer and closer to the spot burning for him. A hot, urgent desire speared through her body. She had never wanted anything more than she did this.

Suddenly, Fox scooped Jordan up into his arms, sweeping her from her feet, and took two steps to the bed. He gently placed her into it and immediately fell on top of her, raining kisses down upon her face and chin, over each eye and finally claiming her lips with his own.

Jordan’s world spun. One of his hands slid down her taut stomach to the curve of her hips. He eased her dress and chemise down further, inch by torturous inch. She burned for him, burned for more. For all of him.

Jordan opened her eyes to see Fox staring at her body in rapt adoration. Then he turned his heated gaze to her. For a moment, their eyes met and held.

Slowly, Fox eased her dress from her hips, revealing her womanly hair. He watched her face as he inched his fingers over her hips, around her hair, teasing, stroking, caressing.

Excitement built inside Jordan until she thought she could stand no more. Fox moved closer, ever so deliciously closer.

“Please,” she whispered, begging for completion.

Fox touched the spot where he knew she needed him, and her instant intake of breath was enough indication that she was ready.

He eased himself from his breeches and slowly guided his manhood toward her wet, slick core.

And then he entered her.

Jordan stiffened at the unexpected agony. But Fox covered her lips with gentle, tender kisses, easing the agony and hurt with a building passion. She lifted her hips to settle him better inside her, to try to ease the growing restlessness.

Fox groaned at her movement and began to move against her. He thrust slowly at first, but gradually his tempo, his movement increased, drawing Jordan into his frenzy of passion.

She matched his movements, until they found a tempo that had them moving as one. Jordan’s passion built as her excitement rose with each thrust, with each cadence. Tremors of arousal danced along her skin and whirled in her mind.

His hands skimmed her sides, moving up until he reached her breasts. His hands encircled the mounds, and Jordan’s world ignited into a flaming tornado, whirling and spinning as ecstasy tore through her. She rode the spiral of pleasure until she was sure her mind had touched the heavens and exploded into a thousand bright stars.

When she opened her eyes, awed at the feelings lingering inside her body, she saw Fox smiling softly down at her. Then he moved again, rocking back and forth until suddenly his entire body stiffened and he gritted his teeth. She felt an explosion of warmth deep inside her.

Fox was still for a long moment. But when he opened his eyes, there was such peace and tranquility shining there Jordan thought she had never seen a more wonderful sight.

She smiled at him. He smiled back.

Fox took Jordan into his arms and rolled over onto his back, refusing to relinquish his grip on her. He kissed the top of her head, holding her tightly against him.

A
shaft of moonlight shone through the window, lighting their entwined hands with a soft pale glow. Fox studied her small hand, wrapping his tighter around hers, wishing she could remain with him. But that was impossible, even after the passion they had just shared. For him, there awaited only certain death. For Jordan, there was life. And maybe his life growing inside her now. She had a bright future ahead of her. He did not -- not a future a woman of her stature should be subjected to. A future of misery and thievery and scraps of food and hunting. And being hunted.

The thought of the future and what was not to be was painful, and he pushed the thought aside. He wanted to say something, to explain to her. But there was nothing to say, nothing to explain. After he killed Vaughn, men would come for him -- the king’s men, no doubt -- and he could either run or fight. But he knew in his soul that he would not run when the time came. He would fight. A dozen men, two dozen if that’s what they sent after him. No, there was no future for him.

“Fox,” Jordan whispered. “You know I cannot stay with you.”

His thumb stopped caressing hers. “I know,” he finally agreed, nodding his head.

An awkward, heavy silence engulfed them.

“But you don’t understand why,” she said quietly.

“I understand my life is not for you, Jordan.” He kissed the top of her head where it lay against his chest.

She lifted her head and stared at him with those luminescent eyes, eyes that glowed in the moonbeams with their own inner light. “I would stay with you if you were a dung farmer.”

He smiled. “Smelly but still handsome.”

Jordan didn’t share his smile. “My children need me.”

Fox ground his teeth and slid out from beneath her. He had thought at one point during their lovemaking that she had to be a virgin. But here she was speaking of her children again. He sat at the edge of the bed. He didn’t want to hear that Vaughn had been intimate with her. He didn’t want to hear that his hands had been on her body... inside her body. The very thought made him clench his teeth. “I’ve already said I would take you back to Ruvane village.”