Change of Heart (30 page)

CHAPTER

“S
HE’S GONE.”
Lilian’s words hung in the air.

“What do you mean?”

But he knew. He knew the second he awoke, face throbbing, the memory of his unwise choice to pay Chris a visit the night before lingering, the pain of his unwise choice to push Evelyn away tormenting.

“She’s not at the guesthouse anymore. Her car is gone and the closet in the bedroom is empty.” Lilian glared at him. “What did you do?”

He turned away. “What makes you think it was me?”

But they both knew better. He stared out the window at the guesthouse, mining the regret from the dark part of his soul. He couldn’t walk down this path with Evelyn until she knew the whole truth about what he’d done
 
—or not done
 
—over the years.

Then, if she still wanted to see if there was something between them, at least he’d be moving forward with a clear conscience.

“She found out how you felt, didn’t she?”

He hated that Lilian knew how he felt, but at least he’d managed to keep his foolishness regarding the wooden hearts to himself. Until last night, that was. If she discovered that embarrassing tidbit, his aunt certainly would have chastised him for clinging to someone who was married to someone else.

Never mind that he hadn’t been “clinging.” He knew Evelyn belonged to Chris, and he was completely fine.

But he saw now that was a lie he’d told himself.

And unfortunately, he’d only made things worse.

He’d been awake most of the night, replaying that kiss over and over in his mind and attempting to pinpoint what it was that he was so afraid of.

He walked past Lilian and up to the guesthouse. Evelyn’s scent still hung in the air, but the bungalow was, as Lilian said, empty. Where had she gone?

He tried calling her cell, but there was no answer.

He walked through his chores that morning with a vague connection to reality, wondering what his problem was in the first place. He’d been pushing her away for so many years, maybe he didn’t know how to stop. And maybe she’d forgive him for lying to her.

By noon, he decided he couldn’t pull one more weed, feed one more animal, or fix one more broken barn door. He drove to town, where he saw the remnants of the Sweetheart Festival hanging throughout Old Town. Community volunteers worked to clean up the streets, and while Trevor should’ve stopped and helped, he didn’t. Instead, he drove past all of it until he reached Casey’s house in a neighborhood about three blocks from the lake.

Casey knew more about the way Trevor felt than he ever let on, but more than that, he had a wife. And the opinion of an unbiased woman might be what Trevor needed right now.

Marin answered the door, her face free of makeup, her hair pulled off her face. “Whit? What are you doing here?”

“Came over to talk to Casey.” No need to reveal his true intentions yet. “Is he home?”

Marin opened the door wider, then took a step back so Trevor could come in. The smell of something cooking on the stove filled the air.

She closed the door behind him. “He’s watching football.” She led Trevor into the living room of the small two-story. “Even though he’s supposed to be putting together the crib we just bought.”

Casey looked up when they entered the room. “Hey, Whit. Did you come by to watch the game?”

“No, but I’ll help you with the crib if you want.” He winked at Marin.

“Did she call you over here to make me feel guilty?” Casey’s tone teased.

Marin put her up hands. “I think it’s divine intervention. His visit is unprovoked.”

Trevor held his ratty red ball cap, folding the bill. Casey stood and studied his old friend. “All right, let’s go. Broncos are losing anyway.”

They went upstairs and into a small room with pale-green walls and wood floors. “Marin painted it two weeks ago. She thought blue was too cliché.”

“Looks good,” Trevor said.

The crib lay in pieces on top of a soft striped rug. Trevor knelt down and took inventory of the parts. Casey sat in a rocking chair in the corner. “Why are you really here?”

Marin walked in just in time to hear the question. She carried two glasses of lemonade. He resisted the urge to make a remark about her belly. If he remembered correctly, her due date was quickly approaching and he knew better than to draw attention to her size.

“For us?” Casey said.

She raised her eyebrows at him. “One of them was going to be for you, but from the looks of it, you have no intention of working up a sweat. So they’re both for Trevor.” The smile that punctuated her sentence dripped sarcasm.

Trevor grinned but kept his head down, fitting pieces together. “Actually, Marin,” he said, “do you have a minute?”

Casey stood. “I don’t know whether to be proud or hurt. In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never needed a woman’s opinion for anything.”

Trevor moved on to the second leg of the crib. “Well, now I do.”

Marin took Casey’s seat. “We’ve got all day, Whit.” She smiled. “What’s up?”

“Evelyn,” Casey said. “Finally divorced, cheating Chris out of the picture. You’re wondering if you should make your move.”

Trevor groaned. “Not exactly.”

Casey’s eyes widened. “You made your move?”

Marin smacked his leg. “Will you let him talk?”

“You were at the dance last night.” Trevor started on the third leg of the crib.

Marin sighed. “It was really beautiful. Made me feel like a teenager all over again.”

“A knocked-up teenager,” Casey laughed.

She smacked him again. “Whose fault is that?”

Casey waggled his eyebrows at her. “All mine, baby.”

She turned her attention back to Trevor. “I love the hearts you two made.”

“Yeah, well, those hearts are the reason I’m in this predicament.” On to the fourth crib leg.

“Did you mess something up?” Casey said.

“You could say that.”

“Did you find out who bought the hearts with the song lyrics? Spoil some surprise? Crash a romantic fantasy?”

“Now who isn’t letting him talk?” Casey quipped.

“You could say that too.” Trevor kept his eyes on the task at hand.

Marin gasped. “Who? We were all guessing last night.”

Trevor flipped the crib over and stood, then hung his head. He was no good at this talking thing.

“You?” Marin studied him. “You?” She did nothing to hide her surprise. “But you’re so . . .”

“What?” Trevor frowned.

“What she’s trying to say is that around here, people think you’re kind of cold. Standoffish,” Casey said. “Like, the least romantic person in town.”

“Evelyn said that too.”

“So you’ve been buying hearts to profess your love to Evelyn Brandt for ten years?” Marin’s face reminded Trevor of a Disney princess.

Trevor groaned again. “It sounds really pathetic when you say it like that.”

“No, it’s wonderful and romantic. Did she just melt when you told her?”

“Not quite.” Sparing as much detail as possible, Trevor explained the whole mess. The moment she found out about the hearts, the moment he showed up at Chris’s house and got into a fistfight with his former best friend, the moment he realized he hadn’t buried his feelings for Evelyn as well as he’d thought, the moment he found himself kissing the woman he loved, then lastly
 
—and most regrettably
 
—the moment he pushed her away.

Marin stood. “Who knew you were such a romantic?”

Casey put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re married, remember?”

She laughed. “Why can’t you be more like Trevor, Casey?”

Casey shot a look at Trevor. “Well, that’s not something I ever thought my wife would say.”

Marin shook her head. “I had no idea, and I bet Evelyn didn’t either. But you love her, and she’s not married anymore. So what’s the problem?”

Trevor put the finishing touches on the crib and took a step back. “Crib’s done.”

“Good grief, you’re like a magician,” Casey said. “I’ve got a dresser in a box in the garage.”

Marin raised a hand and Casey stopped talking. “Don’t change the subject.”

Trevor drew in a breath. Here was the ugly part. The truth. “I’ve been lying to her for years.”

“But she’ll understand. It sounds like she already does.”

“Not only about my feelings.” He glanced at Casey, who looked away. “About Chris.”

Marin frowned. “What do you mean?”

Trevor glanced up at the ceiling as if it were the most interesting thing in the room. “I knew about the cheating. Even before they got married.”

He could feel disappointment settle on Marin’s shoulders.

“I know. I’m worse than Chris,” Trevor said.

“No one is worse than Chris,” Casey said.

“I pretty much helped him cheat on her,” Trevor said.

Marin waved her hand in the air. “What do you mean you helped him cheat on her? Like, you found him girls? You gave him a place to go? What are we talking about here?”

“In high school and all through college, Chris always had other girls. He’d call and tell me he was held up and ask me to keep Evelyn company until he could get there.”

Casey had known. He’d even encouraged Trevor to tell Evelyn the truth, but when he tried, Trevor chickened out. Didn’t want to be the one to tell her that kind of news. Didn’t want to be the guy who broke her heart.

Some friend. He told himself he just wanted her to be happy, even if he wasn’t the one she chose. But it was selfish and he knew it.

After a long pause under Marin’s watchful gaze, she finally sighed. “They were just kids, Whit. And so were you. You couldn’t have known he was still cheating on her after they got married.”

Trevor said nothing.

“You knew?” Marin evidently had no skill at hiding her emotions. Whatever she thought was clearly painted on her face.

“I thought everyone knew. It’s not like he was discreet.”

“Why didn’t you tell her?” Marin’s face fell.

“I tried to once, when they’d just gotten engaged.” Trevor stilled at the memory. “Went to her house, knocked on the door
 
—almost got the words out
 
—but when I realized Chris was there, I took it as a sign.”

“You didn’t try again?” Casey’s wife almost looked personally hurt by his admission.

He could only imagine how Evelyn would look when he told her. Because he would tell her. He had to.

“I didn’t want to be responsible for the fallout.” He shook his head, regret racing through his veins. “I went to Chris instead. He promised he would stop all of that. But I knew that wasn’t true.”

“Don’t beat yourself up because Chris was a lousy husband,” Casey said. “It’s not your fault.”

“There’s more.” Trevor sighed, the memory still fresh. “A few years ago, I saw him out with someone else.” Lilian had an egg delivery to make at a hotel restaurant in Dillon, but she got sick and Trevor went instead. After he unloaded the eggs, he walked through the restaurant to find the manager and instead he found Chris, cozied up with a leggy redhead, hidden in a corner.

The worst part was Chris hadn’t even pretended to be sorry. He sauntered over to Trevor and tossed a glance at the woman, whose dress was so tight it looked like it might cut off her circulation.

Heat rushed to Trevor’s face, and he fought to restrain himself.

Chris had grinned. “Whit. How ya been, man?”

Trevor looked pointedly at the woman.

“Business meeting,” Chris said.

“What kind of business is she in, Chris?”

He smirked. “Don’t you worry about that.”

Trevor glared at him.

“You look so serious, Whit.” He laughed. “Have you seen Evelyn lately? We’re thinking about having a baby. She’s so happy.” He squeezed Trevor’s shoulder.

Trevor bit back words Christian men didn’t say.

The restaurant door popped open and Evelyn walked in, confusion on her face when she saw the two of them standing together, mere feet from the table where the redhead sat, swirling a cocktail in a tall glass.

Evelyn frowned as she approached. “I thought I’d come surprise Christopher at his conference, but what are you doing here, Trevor?”

Chris didn’t even stutter. “Just finished up our last seminar and stopped in here for a drink when I ran into Whit.”

“What are the odds?” Evelyn glanced at the woman at the table, who watched the three of them. She stood and walked toward the group.

Chris put a hand on Trevor’s shoulder. “Yeah. I was just going, actually.”

Trevor glanced away, disgusted by how easy it was for Chris to lie to his wife.

“Evelyn, this is Whit’s girlfriend, Janine,” Chris said, giving the redhead a push toward Trevor. She got the hint and wrapped an arm around Trevor’s waist.

Chris laughed. “Whit, you’re so tense.” He glanced at Evelyn. “We should leave so Janine can help him with that.”

Evelyn looked at Trevor, then at Janine. “I didn’t know you were dating anyone.”

Trevor met her hopeful eyes. “It’s, uh, new.”

Coward.

Evelyn smiled. “Well, have fun.”

Trevor nodded but turned away, disgusted by how easy it was for
him
to lie to her.

“She’s gonna hate me,” Trevor said now, pushing the memory to the back of his mind, where he wished it would stay. He looked at Marin and Casey.