Change of Heart (37 page)

W
HEN
I
FIRST HAD
the idea for
Change of Heart
, I knew it would be difficult to write. Essentially, I thought, the book is about a man who’s in love with a married woman. Tricky for someone writing Christian fiction, no?

But as I began to peel away the layers, I started to see that while this is a part of the battle my hero faced, it’s only a part
 
—and at its core, this book is about surrendering our will to whatever God has for us. Even when the answers aren’t ones we want to hear. Even when everything seems to go completely wrong. Even when every choice we make seems to be the opposite of what we should’ve made.

I’m not very good at surrendering.

I’ve lived a fairly self-sufficient life, but in the past few years, I’ve realized that this isn’t a badge of courage I want to wear. I don’t want to be the one who has everything all figured out because it leaves no room for God to work in me. I would much rather readily admit I have no idea what I’m doing and can’t do any of this life stuff without him.

My prayer for this book is that it will not only give you a few hours of peaceful escape, but that it will also help you, dear reader, take a look at the regrets you’ve been carrying with you and finally lay them down. No matter what story you’re telling yourself, the truth is our choices don’t define us
 
—thankfully.

And while the human heart tends to be fickle, God’s heart toward us never changes.

I pray you rest in his unending grace.

Courtney

T
O
A
DAM.
M
Y ROCK.
What a gift, this love of ours. I am so thankful for every moment with you. Thank you for always encouraging, keeping me on the right path, and helping me get over myself. You + Me.

To my kids, Sophia, Ethan, and Sam. Watching you grow into really awesome young people has been my greatest joy. Thank you for not grumbling too much when I make you unload the dishwasher and for being totally okay eating cereal for dinner when I’m on deadline. My prayer is that you always know how very loved you are, and that no matter what, you rest in God’s grace and lean in to his purpose for your lives. I love you.

To my dad. My forever hero. I look up to you more than you know. Your wisdom and faith inspire me every single day. Thank you for being there for me.

To Sandra Bishop. I will always be so grateful for your belief in me.

To Stephanie Broene and Danika King. Thank you for pulling the good stuff to the top. For being such an important part of this process. For being kind in your critiques and generous with your praise. It is pure joy that I get to work with you both.

To Deb Raney. I couldn’t ask for a better mentor and friend. I am so glad we sat next to each other at that ACFW breakfast all those years ago. You are a true gift.

To Ronelle Johnson. For your graciousness in answering my questions and helping me make sense of legalities that pretty much make no sense. And just for being one of the kindest, sweetest, and most generous people I know.

To the Grove Girls. God has brought such sweetness to my life through each one of you. I am forever grateful.

To my Studio kids. You bless my socks off every single time I watch you shine. Never stop believing in yourselves. . . . I never will!

To the Michael Nyman station on Pandora and every instrumental movie sound track that has filled my earbuds. I love you.

C
OURTNEY
W
ALSH IS
a novelist, artist, theater director, and playwright. Her debut novel,
A Sweethaven Summer
, hit the
New York Times
and
USA Today
e-book bestseller lists and was a Carol Award finalist in the debut author category. She has written two more books in the Sweethaven Summer series, as well as two craft books and several full-length musicals. Courtney lives in Illinois with her husband and three children.

Visit her online at
www.courtneywalshwrites.com
.

1. Bit by bit, Evelyn sacrificed parts of herself to become the model wife Christopher wanted
    
   —she gave up her goals, her individuality, and even her clothing preferences. If you knew Evelyn, what advice would you give her once she realized all she’d lost?
   
2. When Christopher and Evelyn got married, Trevor did his best to hand his feelings over to God. However, he still faces a years-long struggle to move past his affection for her. Describe a time in your life when obeying and trusting God was more of a lengthy, challenging process than a onetime decision.
   
3. After Christopher’s crimes and indiscretions come to light, Evelyn is shunned by most of her community even though she was not involved in his actions. Have you ever been scorned or left out by your family, friends, or community? What was your response?
   
4. Trevor’s woodworking company is called
   Desvío
   (Spanish for “detour”). What is the significance behind that name? Has your life ever taken a turn that was different from what you expected? What happened?
   
5. Trevor knew about Christopher’s infidelity years before it became a news story. But he chose to keep it from Evelyn, even colluding with Christopher to help him cover up some of his affairs. Why did he do that? What would you have done in his shoes?
   
6. After Evelyn’s night of drinking too much at the bar, Gigi leaves her a note with Ephesians 2:10 written on it: “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Why do you think Gigi chooses to share this particular verse with Evelyn? Why is it necessary to become a new creation in Christ before we can do the good things God has planned for us?
   
7. In chapter 34, Evelyn reflects, “Of course [Christopher] was walking around free as a bird with a new soon-to-be wife and a baby on the way. Of course he had money from who knew where for kettle corn and handmade necklaces when she was scraping pennies together for the basic necessities so she didn’t feel like a complete charity case.” What do you do when life doesn’t seem fair
    
   —when things appear to work out well for the “bad guys” but not for the innocent? How can you encourage and support your friends and loved ones when they face situations like this?
   
8. Trevor chooses to finally and completely surrender to God’s will in chapter 43. But he still prays, “Please let it be your will . . .” Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation
    
   —deciding to follow God wherever he wants you to go but still hoping his will aligns with your desires? What was the outcome?
   
9. By the end of the book, Evelyn realizes that “God could take even her deepest pain and turn it into something beautiful.” Think of an example from your life
    
   —or the life of someone you know
    
   —where this was true. How can this reality impact the way you view difficult circumstances?
   
10. In
    Paper Hearts
    , the first book in this series, the people of Loves Park express their affection through anonymous notes written on cutout hearts. In
    Change of Heart
    , it’s painted messages for the whole town to see. Can you think of a creative way to tell a loved one how you feel about him or her?