Change (The Shape Shifter Series) (9 page)

She closed her eyes and tried to empty her mind. She felt the warmth in Tiamhaidh's mind and the wall that prevented her from searching it. She wasn't sure if she should do it, but she wanted to know if she could, so slowly she tried to reach her mind out into her surroundings. At first she couldn't feel anything and she almost gave up. Then her mind found something familiar and she could feel her mom's mind, drowsy and warm, as she nestled closer to Dad. Quickly, she pulled herself away, not wanting to wake her. She decided to try again. If she could find her mom's mind she should be able to find others, too.

She inhaled deeply and emptied her mind again. It was like a long tentacle as it gently slipped from mind to mind. It was actually quite easy when she got started. She knew she was traveling in dangerous waters, but she couldn't help herself. She knew she might get caught, but she didn't care. She refused to be left outside, and even though a tiny part of her mind tried to tell her there was a reason why Tiamhaidh kept his secret, she wanted to go on.

Her mind was being pulled toward something and she wanted to know what it was. She hesitated, but it was too late. She could feel the forbidden fruit just around the corner and she wanted to taste it. She wanted to taste it so bad that it was difficult not to rush. Her mind had been sleeping for so long and now it was so full of life, so full of energy. She felt like she was at the eye of a storm just seconds before
something big happened and she knew she should shield herself. Theoretically, she knew how to do it, but this was no longer a game. If she failed she might lose everything. She sighed and relaxed her shoulders. Maybe right now, right here was the time to test it.

Suddenly, her expedition expanded and her mind felt dizzy. Her body seemed to float and everything went quiet. She couldn't control her mind anymore and a silent scream broke
from between her lips. What was happening to her? Tears rolled down her cheeks and she wished Tiamhaidh would come to help her. She tried to move, but her body wouldn't obey. Oh my God! How stupid I've been, she thought as her mind felt like it was exploding.

All of a sudden she could hear voices. A quiet murmur filled her mind. She could pick up a few sentences here and there, secrets in the silence, but nothing more. She recognized that her mind was being surrounded by the minds of shape shifters, but she couldn't identify them.
One thing was sure, though: almost all those whose thoughts she could touch were thinking of her and her mom, and their thoughts were far from friendly. She breathed. If she could find Isabel's mind she would know all the secrets of the elders. She would know what was wrong in this place and why she suddenly felt awkward with Tiamhaidh.

She knew Isabel hated her so deeply that she could probably trick her mind to reveal something to her.
Half horrified, she made a decision. She knew it was extremely dangerous and probably forbidden in so many ways, but she had to know. She wasn't good at this. Far from it, as she hadn't actually touched any stranger's mind, only her family's, but she had to start from somewhere, and what would be a better place than Isabel’s mind? Somehow it felt justified. She had intruded on her privacy by kissing Tiamhaidh and trying to kill her, so why should she leave her alone? Especially if Isabel didn’t even know what was happening in her head.

She thought about Isabel.
Her extreme beauty. She pictured her as she had looked when they first met, and then she thought about her as a wolf. At once an image of a huge cave flashed in her mind. She smiled, satisfied. It had been easy. Maybe Isabel had forgotten to protect her mind, or maybe she thought her mind was safe from any outside intruders. Either way, Marie was in and she wasn’t going to let go until she got what she came for.

At first it was weird looking through Isabel’s eyes and absorbing pieces of what was in her head, but once she was sure Isabel had no clue she wasn’t alone, Marie relaxed a bit. Isabel was sitting on a cave floor, wrapped in warm, soft fur and looking at the people in front of her. She didn’t actually sit with the others, but the others didn’t seem bothered by her and were speaking openly. Twelve people sat in a circle. The elders, Marie thought, and for a moment pure panic filled her. She would be so in trouble if they found out what she was doing. But as no one seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary, she collected her courage and took a closer look. She recognized four of them.
Her grandparents, Erag and a young woman, Siobhan, who had searched Isabel's mind after she had attacked her. She didn't understand half of what they were saying. Some of the conversation was held in Gaelic and so quietly it was hard to hear the words, so she dove deeper into Isabel's mind and tried to urge her to listen to what the others were talking about. But Isabel couldn’t care less. She was deep in her dark thoughts and her mind was so filled with jealousy and hatred of Marie’s family that Marie couldn’t help shivering. If she wanted to know some answers she had to move on and try someone else's mind. Carefully, she glanced around through Isabel's eyes and finally stopped on Siobhan. She knew it would be risky, but she couldn’t help herself. The warning bells were ringing in her mind and she remembered what Siobhan had done earlier. With one touch she had seen inside Isabel’s soul, but a soul was a totally different thing to a mind. Hopefully.

She let her mind lightly touch Siobhan's. At first, nothing happened. Siobhan seemed blissfully unaware of what was going on and Marie let out a relieved breath before touching her mind again. She concentrated all of her thoughts on Siobhan and pushed a little.
That was a mistake.

Siobhan jumped up. “Someone's listening,” she said and the others went silent.

Marie closed her eyes and when she opened them again they were burning. Something was eating her from the inside and she pressed her hands to them. She tried to shout for Tiamhaidh but her mouth only managed to open and close as if she were a fish on dry land. Oh no! She was horrified.
“Tiamhaidh!”
She opened her mind and hoped his would hear her need. A warm wave flashed inside her brain and she pushed herself harder. The wave transformed into a billow, threatening to suffocate her. She pushed again. The pressure on her eyes eased and she opened them, glancing in the mirror on the wall. Her eyes were not deep green like before but as black as the night outside her room, and the blackness was slowly spreading. She started to scream.

Tiamhaidh pushed the door open, yelling, “Stop it! Stop it right now! Clear your mind this second or we’re both doomed!”

Marie tried. She really did. But nothing happened. He shook her by her shoulders and she swayed like a rag doll.

“Now, Marie!” His voice was frantic.

She inhaled sharply and used everything she had in her in one hard push. Her mind cleared with an effort and the last image she felt was Siobhan jolting her head and sitting back next to Erag. She stared at Tiamhaidh. She was scared. Really scared. Tiamhaidh was furious and his blue eyes burned.

“What happened?” she whispered.

“You happened!”

She sniffed and he raked his hair in despair.

“You can never do that again! Not here, not with these people! You can search the minds of our pack, but this … this is forbidden!”

She nodded, her lips trembling. She pulled the blanket around her and made a safe nest for herself. Tiamhaidh had never been angry
at her before. She could feel the rage that radiated from him and she dug herself deeper into the depths of the blanket.

He looked panicked.
“Do you realize how stupid you were? It's forbidden to all of us! Even Sofia.”

Marie nodded again. She didn’t try to deny what she had done, as she was sure he knew perfectly well.

“The secrets of the elders are meant for them only and no one is allowed to snoop without permission. You don't know what you've done.” Tiamhaidh hit the wall in desperation.

“What have I done?” she asked quietly.

He stared at her and opened his mouth, but shook his head and closed it again. Then he said dryly, “Oh, never mind. I'm sure you'll find out soon.”

Marie felt as if he had slapped her. Somehow he knew what she had done and he still refused to talk about it with her. She wanted to touch him and see the familiar warmth in his eyes, but he seemed so distant and cold that she decided to keep her hands under the blanket. Yet she needed to hear it. “Please, tell me,” she begged.

But Tiamhaidh kept shaking his head and cursing quietly.

She was really frightened. She didn't understand anything that had just happened.
Why was he so mad? She hadn’t been digging up any state secrets. She’d just wanted to know why they hated her and what they were hiding. A slight convulsion trembled her left hand and she grabbed her wrist quickly, trying to stop what she knew was coming. Not now! Her right hand trembled, too, and before she knew it the trembling had spread all over her body, making her limbs convulse. “No!” she cried just before the seizure hit her.

Morning came and the mist that had wrapped around the mountains overnight disappeared slowly, revealing a clear blue sky behind it. A hawk flew lazily above the trees, looking for prey. Not actively, but more like it wanted a lucky chance. And some fishes were jumping in the lake almost noiselessly, leaving growing circles of ripples on the surface of the calm water.

Sofia sat on the terrace with David, sipping her tea. She was wrapped in a warm fleece and was wearing woolen stockings. The air was so cold that her breath steamed and her nose was becoming red. She could feel her hands starting to freeze and she squeezed her fingers tighter around the hot, steaming cup. She closed her eyes and listened
contentedly to her surroundings. It was so peaceful. The forest around them was waking up, and if she sharpened her hearing she could hear a badger returning from its nightly excursion and a squirrel playfully climbing a tree trunk. A few great tits were warbling their joyful spring songs and everything seemed to be just the way it was supposed to be. David stroked her hair gently and she pressed her head against his shoulder and sighed, feeling happy.

Faol approached quietly behind them. “I hate to interrupt, but you need to leave today.”

“What?” Sofia turned her head lazily and met her mother’s eyes.

Faol nodded towards the cabin and Sofia noticed their bags next to the door. She shook her head and pursed her lips, but Faol didn’t move. Sofia turned her eyes back to the lake and snuggled closer to David.

“Sofia,” Faol said warningly.

Sofia decided to ignore her. Faol couldn't just ruin her peaceful morning by blurting out something like that. Besides, they had just arrived and there was no reason why they couldn’t stay a day or two longer. Sure,
she knew they had to leave eventually. She just didn't understand why this soon. She touched her mother's mind but she kept it closed from her. For a moment she considered just barging in by force through her shields, but what would it change?

“Something has happened,” Faol said, putting her hand on Sofia’s
shoulder, and Sofia could almost hear the rest of the sentence: ‘you're not safe here anymore’. Faol looked directly at David and demanded, “You both have to leave.”

David nodded slowly and gently grabbed Sofia's arm.

Sofia stared at him and shook herself free. “If something has happened, I'm not going anywhere.
You're supposed to start Marie's cure today, so I'm definitely staying.”

Faol shook her head. “Sofia. Trust me; this is not the time to fight.”

“And why not? Last night was almost Marie's last! Isabel managed to fool all of you and nearly killed my child! She’s not safe here. Not without me!”Sofia yelled.

Faol was silent. She gave Sofia a look that only mothers have and pointed at the bags. “David, you should leave now,” she said coldly and ignored Sofia's silent rage. 

He looked at her and got up. He didn't want to leave, but something in her eyes told him that he really should and the sooner the better. A part of him felt relieved and another part wanted to fight. This wasn't his world. It wasn't Marie's world either, but she should be safe here. Tiamhaidh would protect her, and if David didn't completely trust Sofia's parents, he trusted Tiamhaidh. He didn't want to leave Marie here and he knew Sofia didn't either, but something in his mind urged him to run. Maybe it was his primary sense or just a hunch, but he grabbed the bags from the floor and headed to the path.

Sofia stared at his back. Unbelievable! Was he really going to leave? Just like that. No questions, no arguing? Faol's eyes demanded her to leave, too, but she couldn't. She wanted to stay
there with Marie. Faol continued to stare at her. Sofia swallowed and felt her mind starting to give in. She gathered all her willpower and lifted her chin. She knew she looked stupid, but she couldn't give up. “You’re pushing me away,” she accused.

“Don't be ridiculous,” Faol snorted. “This has nothing to do with you and you know it. You came because you thought it was your time to come here. But it's not. Marie doesn't need you here and neither do we.”

Sofia's jaw dropped open. Now she was even more confused. She stared at Faol. Marie was dying. Wasn't that the time when she needed her parents the most?

Faol wrinkled her forehead impatiently. Sofia opened her mouth to make a loud objection, but Faol lifted her finger and Sofia didn't say a word.