Changing Fate [Fate series] (10 page)

"Is that what that was?” Briam turned to look at her, and the pack leader advanced another two steps toward him. “Hey!"

Akila tossed him her sword. “Take these, and go into the cave."

He looked doubtful. “Are you sure you can handle this?"

"Briam,” Akila said patiently. “I weigh half again what a full-grown wolf does, and I certainly hope I'm more intelligent. And after everything else I've survived lately, I should certainly be able to handle a wolf."

"Three wolves."

"No, just one. If I can overcome the pack leader, I become the new leader, and they all obey me."

"Sounds thrilling.” Briam retreated to the mouth of the cave to watch. Akila was thankful that the horses were in their stall in the back of the cave; she certainly didn't need them getting in the way.

She pulled the heavy leather gauntlets out of her belt and put them on, then advanced toward the wolf, never taking her eyes from his.

"Aren't you going to change to wolf-shape?"

"Briam,” she said, keeping her eyes on the wolf's, “be quiet, and stay quiet."

The wolf backed up as she advanced, but he continued to meet her eyes and growl at her. The rest of his pack fell back with him until they reached the stream. Then the female whined anxiously. Akila kept her eyes on him as he tensed and sprung at her.

She twisted as he hit her, and they landed on the ground tangled together, side by side. Quickly she rolled so that he was under her and grabbed his front legs. She was glad she was wearing a short tunic; it would have been very difficult to kneel straddled over a wolf if she had been wearing skirts. She squeezed her knees to both sides of his rib-cage to keep him from rolling and shoving her over, and gripped both his forelegs firmly. His shoulders didn't rotate enough to pin them to the ground, the way one would do with a human's arms; they stayed close to his body, with the paws flopping limply over her hands.

He certainly wasn't quiet though; he was thrashing as much as he could in the position he was in and was doing his very best to claw her with his hind legs, which fortunately didn't quite reach her back, and to bite her hands. Luckily he couldn't get his teeth through the thick gauntlets. She managed to knock his jaw aside without losing her grip on the legs, and after several attempts he finally gave up trying to bite her and just lay there and stared at her. She stared back.

"Akila?"

"I told you to be quiet.” She listened carefully for the other wolves, keeping her gaze locked with the one she held. They were shifting restlessly nearby, but she didn't think they were going to attack her.

"Are you going to hold him like that all day?"

"If I have to. It depends on him.” The wolf broke eye contact and turned his head aside briefly, but then looked back at her. She kept staring straight at him. Behind her she could hear Briam start to approach her. “Stay where you were, Briam,” she ordered. The noise behind her stopped. The wolf looked away and quickly back again.

It seemed that she spent hours kneeling over the wolf. She lost track of the number of times he'd look aside for a few seconds, then look back. Finally he turned his head to the side and left it there. She counted out a minute under her breath, then cautiously released his left paw. He stayed still. She gently rubbed his stomach and under his jaw. “Good boy,” she crooned in a low voice. He stretched a little and tilted his head back so she could scratch his jaw better. “That's right, good boy.” She swung her knee aside and released him, and he scrabbled urgently to his feet and went to join the other two wolves.

She waited a few seconds and then walked over to them. They crowded around her and sniffed her as she stood and scratched behind three sets of ears. When none of them made any hostile moves, she risked removing her left gauntlet and petting them with her bare hand. They sniffed and licked it, but made no move to bite her. She moved with them over to their cave and sat beside the opening while they settled back down.

She twisted her head to the right. Briam still stood at the mouth of their cave, staring at her. “I thought you were going to turn into a wolf."

"Shape-changing is not the answer to every problem, Briam. Put your sword down and your gauntlets on and come let them smell you."

He obeyed slowly, looking dubious. The wolves looked pretty dubious too, but did no more than growl at him. Akila scolded and coaxed until they let him pet them. It wasn't full acceptance, but it would do for the minute. They'd have plenty of time to integrate the packs later.

The autumn rains started the next day. This had always been Akila's least favorite time of year; the castle was cold and damp; everyone was cooped up together and tempers flared, so that she spent half her time settling quarrels between the servants, and there was never enough light to do the needlework she used for relaxation. But the rainy season in the castle was idyllic compared to her current situation.

After several weeks of near-constant rain, the stream swelled to what was surely a new high. After all, if it flooded out the wolves’ den every year, they would have chosen another den. As it was, they simply moved in with her—and Briam and three very nervous horses. The wolves were nervous, too. They were beginning to accept Briam, but the horses were new to them. Akila made a wall of the saddlebags in the side of the cave where the ceiling was lowest, and the wolves took over the cubbyhole this made for their den.

As the weeks went on the female went out less and less, but the males continued to take turns going out in the rain to hunt and dragging their kill back to the den. As the hunting got worse, both of them started going out at once. One day, when they hadn't returned by dark, Akila lit a small torch and crawled back to check on the female. She was getting too big now to move easily, but she lifted her head at Akila's arrival. Akila scratched her under the jaw and looked at her carefully. Except for her bloated abdomen, she was looking suspiciously thin, and Akila worried that she wasn't getting enough to eat. She crawled back to the other side of the pile of saddlebags and rummaged in the one the held what was left of their food. She could afford to go a bit short of food; she wasn't pregnant. She pulled out some dried meat and took it back to the wolf, who accepted it eagerly. Akila sat beside her while she ate and prayed that the pups would be born early and easily.

The males returned an hour later with what looked like the scanty remains of a squirrel, not that Akila looked at it terribly closely. The female inhaled her share of that in one gulp, and Akila resigned herself to the idea of short rations until the hunting improved.

The next few weeks were miserable. The rain continued, but Akila, Briam, and the male wolves had to spend most of their time hunting anyway. Akila and Briam also had to take the horses out for exercise and forage. They could eat what they and the wolves killed, but the grain for the horses was running out and the horses did not consider rabbit stew an acceptable substitute. And after a couple of days of leading the horses over terrain they didn't like, Akila was wishing she could turn one of the wolves into a human—or herself and Briam into triplets—anything to get a third human to take care of the third horse. And every day of hunting in the area of the caves meant that they had to go further to find food.

"Akila?” It was still raining, and Akila was struggling to convince the third horse that it wanted to leave the cave. Ahead of her Briam stood in the rain holding the bridles of the other two. He got on with the horses much better than she did; she had never been much of a horsewoman.

"What?” Akila gave the bridle an impatient tug, and the horse threw back its head in protest.

"Why don't you let me take the horses, and you take the wolves hunting? If we both spend all morning with the horses, we won't have time to go far enough to find enough food.” He looked back at the wolves, who were waiting at the back of the main cave until the horses were out of the way. “Will they still obey you if you turn into a wolf? You can run much faster in wolf-shape—I should think it would make hunting easier."

"I can try,” Akila said thoughtfully. “I'm not as big in wolf-shape, but I'm still pretty heavy. I think I could hold my own in a fight, and I'm hungry enough to be willing to try it."

"I should think so! Do you have any idea how much weight you've lost? You look awful."

Akila looked at Briam. His face was noticeably thinner, and his clothes were looser than they had been when they left home. And she knew she probably did look worse than he did, since she'd started sharing her food with the female wolf even before they'd really run low on it. “All right, I'll try it—if you can get this wretched beast out of the cave."

Briam made a clicking sound with his tongue, and the horse stepped daintily past Akila and went to join the others. Akila sighed, shook her head, and started peeling off the several layers of clothing she was wearing.

She was very cold as she undressed—did this mean that the snow would start soon? How long had they been here anyway? Maybe she only felt cold more because she'd gotten so skinny. She looked down at herself and was horrified to see that her lower ribs were all plainly visible. Oh well, in wolf-form the fur would cover them—in fact, she'd be a lot prettier as a wolf. She changed quickly.

It was odd to see the cave from a different eye level; she'd gotten used to seeing it from a human's point of view. The wolves cringed back against the wall, looking upset. She didn't blame them; this was bound to be outside their experience. She approached them slowly and cautiously, but when she got within a couple of yards, they suddenly sniffed the air, came over and sniffed at her, then started bouncing happily about her, just as they usually did when she came in.

"What on earth?” Briam said. Since she could no longer answer him verbally, Akila walked over to lean against his legs so that he could hear her.
I guess I still smell the same
.

"Probably,” he agreed. “Everything in the whole cave smells like wet wolf these days.” The horses shifted restlessly, and he stepped back with them. “I'm taking the horses downstream—why don't you all go the other way?” He turned and headed off, and Akila gathered her pack and went hunting.

They ran pretty far, but the hunting was good, and they returned with full bellies and an extra rabbit apiece. Akila changed back, got dressed, and cooked up Briam's share of supper, while the wolves curled up in their den and wolfed down their share.

"This was great,” Briam said with satisfaction, licking the grease off his fingers. “We'll all sleep well tonight."

Akila certainly had no trouble falling asleep after the day's exertions, but she woke during the night in horrible pain. She felt as though someone was sticking knives into half-a-dozen places in her abdomen, and even though she was sweating, she felt horribly cold and shivery. She tried to figure out what was wrong, but racking her memory only assured her she'd never felt like this before. Had she caught some sort of ague running around in the rain? All the wolves seemed fine; she could hear their soft, even breathing in the darkness. She closed her eyes, clenched her teeth and set herself to endure the pain—there didn't seem to be anything else she could do about it.

It seemed like hours later when someone shook her. “Akila?” Briam shook her harder. “Wake up; you're having a nightmare."

Akila opened one eye, then closed it again. Even the dim light seeping into the cave hurt. “No, I'm not, I'm dying. And I am awake."

"You can't die!” Briam protested. “I need you. What's the matter anyway? I thought it was one of the wolves whining in its sleep at first."

Now that he mentioned it, Akila had noticed the sound; she just hadn't realized that she was the one making it. “I don't know what's wrong—it feels as though someone is sticking knives in my stomach."

"I felt like that once, after I ate a bunch of green apples. What did you eat yesterday? You didn't have much stew with me."

"No, we ate while we were hunting.” She tried to think back. “I think I had a bunch of mice and part of a rabbit."

"Fur, bones, and all?” Briam sounded slightly ill himself.

"What did you expect me to do—turn human in the middle of the woods when I didn't even have any clothes so I could skin and clean it? We all just gobbled down what we could get—and I didn't notice you turning up your nose at supper last night!"

"Yes, but I don't think humans are supposed to eat exactly the same thing as wolves—aren't our stomachs different?"

"I never thought about it before, but I guess it makes sense. And if this is what a baby with colic feels like, I can understand why they scream!” Akila rolled herself into an even tighter ball. It didn't help. “Holy Mother, this hurts! How long did it last when you ate the apples?"

"About half a day,” Briam replied hesitantly.

Akila whimpered, then set her teeth. “Oh well, at least I'll probably live—though at the moment I'm not enthusiastic about the idea."

"The wolves ate the same things you did, didn't they?” Briam looked over at the pile of fur, snoring softly behind the saddlebags. “Maybe if you turned back into a wolf, it would stop hurting."

"It's worth a try,” Akila agreed. “I can't feel much worse.” She dragged herself out of her clothes, changed, and curled up on her blankets.

Briam sat beside her and stroked her head. “Do you feel any better?” he asked several minutes later.

I think I'm beginning to
, Akila thought back at him.
But do you realize what this means? It means that I'll have to stay in wolf-shape for a long time.

"Can't you just not eat while you're hunting?"

No!
Even the idea seemed perverted to her wolf-self.
The whole point of hunting is to eat.
She looked up at him, then sighed and rested her jaw on his knee.
I'm afraid you're stuck with a wolf for a sister until the food supply gets better
.

"But that could take all winter! What happens if you stay in wolf-form for several months?"