Chaos (5 page)

Chapter 10

            
 
I
couldn’t leave Samael’s body in the streets of Arythmia. Sure, someone would eventually find him and report it to the nearest High Noble who would send an undertaker to fetch the body for burning, but I couldn’t bring myself to allow him to be collected and incinerated like discarded trash. Zander helped me hoist him onto one of the two horses we traveled with and we carried him back to his residence.

His steward collapsed when he answered the door. Roland had served Samael for decades. I tried to convince him to take the rest of the night off but he refused.

              “There is too much that needs to be done. Samael left strict instructions with me about the preparations that needed to be made in the event of his demise,” he said.

              In no mood to argue with him, I stopped insisting he retire to him room. In the end, I was grateful for his presence. He did everything that I did not have a clue how to go about doing.  Samael employed a private undertaker that he called upon when one of his Assassin’s met their end. Roland contacted him and made arrangements for him to collect Samael and cremate his remains. The undertaker came and retrieved the body and returned a porcelain urn with his ashes to us a few short hours later. Roland also got word to the other people who would need  to be alerted of the Assassin Guild Master’s demise. I wished he would have waited on that part. I tried to leave before Samael’s inner circle of the men he trusted most within the guild arrived but Roland would not hear of it. He rather adamantly insisted that I remain even going as far as pulling the guilt card and telling me Samael’s wishes in the event of his death were for me to be around for the meeting that was to come. I should have been able to say to hell with Samael and his wishes. He never cared about mine or me, but I couldn’t. The sacrifice he made for me in the end proved that at least some part of him did.

              A knock sounded at the front door and I knew it was time. The cavalry that I so did not want to deal with right then had arrived. I stood from my spot behind Samael’s desk in the study he used to receive visitors. Zander stood with me.

              “Of course you didn’t waste any time taking up position at Samael’s desk. Move. You don’t belong there,” one of the men I hated most in this world spat at me as he entered the room.

              Zahir was Samael’s second in command who had never agreed with Samael taking me in and grooming me into one of them. He exhibited all of the charming qualities of a chauvinistic, sexist pig. Samael bequeathed him the duty of overseeing my training and each day he made every attempt to literally beat me into the ground while reminding me over and over again of three things--women were only good for lying on their backs, a girl had no business being an assassin, and I could never cut it as one. I enjoyed proving him wrong day in and day out. As a fae my strength and reflexes were superior to any human male. The fact that I bested him during every one of our training sessions only made him loathe me more. There was no love lost on my end either. I hated him just as much. Samael was the only reason one of us had yet to try and kill the other.

              I had no desire to move into Samael’s position as Guild Master but I would never pass up an opportunity to goad Zahir.  “I think I’ll stay exactly where I am,” I responded folding my arms over my chest.

              He walked over to the desk and placed his hands on its surface pressing down on it with his weight. “Move. Now. I won’t say it again,” he threatened.

              Zander moved closer to my side. “I suggest you take a step back.” He kept his voice even but a struggle for control played out within the depths of his eyes.

              Zahir spared Zander a glance before quickly dismissing him as a non-threat.

His mistake
. I’d seen Zander fight. He was every bit as lethal as I was.

Zahir’s mouth twitched at the corners. “It is just like a woman to require a man to fight her battles.”

              “Everyone in this room knows Skyler can take you with one hand tied behind her back. Hell probably both.” Kade’s laugh echoed off of the walls of the enclosed space as he entered the room.

              I loathed Zahir with every fiber of my being but I was looking forward to seeing my ex-sometimes-sort-of-boyfriend again even less than I was him. Kade and I hadn’t parted on good terms the last time I saw him. I still had a score to settle with him, which is why he should not have been surprised when a blade flew across the room and lodged itself just below his collarbone. It wouldn’t kill him but it would hurt like a bitch.

              “What the hell Skyler? Have you lost your damn mind?” He winced as he yanked the blade from his flesh.

              “Quit whining and be lucky it’s just a surface wound. I owe you much more after you outed Zander and I in Kline sending a band of homicidal thieves after us. I should have aimed a few inches lower and to the right for your heart,” I hissed at him.

              “You’re right. I deserved that.” He had enough of a conscious to look mildly apologetic. “It was a jerk. But to be fair, my irritation at your chosen company was the impetus of it.” The look he gave Zander contained equal parts of jealousy and resentment. “But in my defense I knew you could take them. I only meant to irritate you as much as I was at the time.”

              “She almost had the life chocked out of her,” Zander berated him from his position beside me.

              “No one asked you,
Prince
,” Kade glowered at him.

              “Enough!” Zahir intervened. “I did not come hear to listen to your childish bickering. I came to claim that which is rightfully mine.”

              Roland cleared his throat as he entered the room with a thick, beige envelope. He opened it and unfolded the matching paper that rested within.

“Actually, it is Samael’s explicit wish and command that Skyler become the new Master of the Guild. He bequeaths all of his assets, monetary and otherwise, to her.”

Roland handed Zahir the paper with Samael’s handwriting and personal seal as proof.

              Zahir flung the paper to the ground. “I don’t give a shit what a piece of paper says. I served as Samael’s second for
years
. I bled for, killed for, damn near lost my life to be his predecessor.
She
will not rob me of that.”

              To Roland’s credit he held firm against Zahir’s intimidation.

“Guild law trumps what you feel. The Master names the predecessor and once he does it is indisputable. You know the rules. Either accept the choice or leave the guild.”

              “She cannot be his predecessor if she is dead,” Zahir growled before lunging over the table.

              Zander pushed me behind him before he reached me. He drew his sword and jammed the hilt of it into Zahir’s stomach. He doubled over from the force of the blow. Zander hit him again in the temple and he crumpled to the floor.

Kade chuckled softly from by the door. “This night is turning out to be every bit as entertaining as I thought it would be.”

              “Why are you still here?” I asked in exasperation even though I knew the reason.

Kade lived on the streets of Arythmia’s low society as a child just as I had but for far longer before coming to work for Samael. If Samael pseudo-raised me, then he pseudo-raised Kade too. He had just as much of a right to be in Samael’s home at that moment as I had. I still didn’t have to like it though.

“Shouldn’t you go bandage up your shoulder or something?” I glared at him.

              “Like you said, it’s just a flesh wound,” he shrugged nonchalantly. “Apparently you still can’t bring yourself to mar my pretty face,” he winked at me.

              I fought the urge to launch another blade at the insufferable jackass.

              “I cannot accept Samael’s decision,” I said turning my attention to Roland. “I have other matters to attend that require my undivided attention and indefinite absence. My one and only act before relinquishing my position as Samael’s predecessor is to command you to appoint either yourself, or Kade, or someone else you see fit to lead the Guild. It was never the right fit for me. Only a means to an end.”

              I expected Roland to argue and hold steadfast to what Samael communicated his wishes were but he did not. Perhaps it was because he watched on as I trained in Samael’s house. He was there when I cried until there were no more tears left to cry before going out on my first assignment, and he was also there to receive me upon returning numb and cold inside from my first kill.

              Roland simply tipped his head in my direction then said, “As you wish Mistress.”              “Kade, may I have a word with you before leaving?” I hated having to ask him for anything but Kade had traveled the world a dozen times over on his various missions as Samael’s personal messenger.

              He answered me with a lecherous smile. “You can have anything you like from me Skyler.”

              Zander’s eyes flashed dark in his direction but he remained quiet.

---

              Zander, Kade and I stood outside of Samuel’s residence beyond its shut doors. I preferred that Roland did not overhear what I wanted to ask him.

              “What’s all the secretiveness about?” he grinned at me. “If you wanted to get me alone you should have left the Prince behind... unless you’ve become more wicked than I remember.”

              I snorted in disgust. “Shut up. I need to ask you something that I didn’t want any other ears to hear.”

              “So you need my expertise. What’s in it for me?”

              I dropped a small dagger concealed by my sleeve into the palm of my hand. “Let’s say we’ll call it even. I won’t owe you anymore for the stunt you pulled in Kline.”

              He pretended to think my offer over simply to annoy me. I questioned not for the first time how I was ever even remotely attracted to him. He was a jerk.

              “Cut the crap Kade. We both know you don’t want me for an enemy. Even if I am not planning on being around for a while you never know when I will be back. Do you really want to be constantly watching over your shoulder for when or if I decide to show back up?”             

              “Fine,” he said grudgingly. “What do you need?”

              “In your travels have you ever heard of or encountered anyone rumored to have knowledge of magic or things not exactly human?”

Kade’s eyes lit up with interest. For him to be so thoroughly male, juicy gossip sure did excite him.

“My, my Skyler what have you gotten yourself into this time?”

“Just answer the damn question before I change my mind about forgetting that you almost got the life choked out of me.”

“Fine. No need to get all pissy. Keep your secrets. Across the ocean to the South of Anthame there is rumored to be a man with unique gifts some might call sorcery that resides in the mountains of Decretum. I’ve never encountered him myself or heard anything other than words spoken with tongues loosened by spirits, but I have heard it enough times when traveling there that the rumor may have some thread of truth.” Kade paused for a minute then added, “You sure you don’t want to tell me what’s going on? If you’re in trouble I can maybe help?”

“I’m sure,” I told him. “And I am not in trouble.”

It was a lie but not a lie. I wasn’t in trouble in the mortal realm. When I returned to Faerie, well that would be a completely different story. Belial would be gunning for my head the minute he learned of my return. With a powerful Seer in his employ, I didn’t doubt that would be sooner rather than later after I return.

“Take care of yourself Kade. I’ll be pissed if someone kills you before I get the chance to.”

Zander took my hand and we moved to leave.

Kade reached out touching Zander’s shoulder before we took a step away from Samael’s house.

“Take care of her,” he implored him.

Zander said nothing in return. He did, however, nod in his direction.

Chapter 11

I
had never been on a ship before. The rocking motion of the large wooden vessel beneath my feet left me feeling queasy.  I fought hard to keep the contents of my stomach from making an embarrassing reappearance. My hands gripped the rails in front of me as I stared out over the endless sea of blue that filled my vision. The thought of being on a flimsy boat in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight terrified me. One freak accident and the vessel along with everyone on board would find themselves hundreds of miles beneath the water’s surface. I was fae, so technically I would not die. It takes a lot more than lack of oxygen to kill one of my kind, and my stamina was such that I could probably swim without rest to the nearest landmass depending on how far away it was. Still, the keyword there was depends. I didn’t tire as fast as a mortal would but my strength would expire eventually.  I in no way ever wanted to experience the burning sensation of my lungs filling with water as I drowned alive.

I continued to stare out anxiously over the water. It was my masochistic way of dealing with the fear of the ship sinking and me pseudo-drowning alive. I dealt with it in the same manner that I dealt with all of my other fears. I confronted it straight on, forcing myself to face it, live it, even breathe it, until I was numb to the feeling and it held little sway over me.

Zander walked up beside me and placed his hand over mine. He gave it a gentle, comforting squeeze.

“The fearless assassin is actually afraid of something,” he lightly teased me.

I looked over at him to see what I knew would be there from the playful tone in his voice—a charmingly facetious grin that transformed him from good-looking to devastatingly handsome.

My hormones did a little happy dance that ended in butterflies in my already unstable stomach. I’d thought telling him the truth about my being a fae and lying to him about my reasons for entering his life would have driven him away from me. I expected him to resent me for the continued deception. To close off his feelings for me just as he had done when I told him I was sent to the High Palace as an assassin to kill him and wasn’t really a Lesser Noble looking to wed Anthame’s Crown Prince. He had every right to do that and more. And yet he did not, even though I could tell the lie hurt him this time just as much as it did the last. I suspected it was due to the vision we shared on the balcony outside of the High Palace’s grand ballroom the night of our betrothal announcement. His actions since then had been as if he was the party guilty of deception and not me. He had been more compassionate, understanding and kind towards me than I deserved. After all, I was girl who had begun their relationship under false pretenses and sought to use him for her own gain, even if it was for the good of an entire realm. I should have been begging for his forgiveness, trying to get back into his good graces. Yet, his actions seemed as if he sought mine.

“I am not really an assassin, remember,” I reminded him. I hated being thought of as one, especially by him. Now that the truth was in the open and Anthame was hundreds of miles behind us, I could finally shed the wretched mask.

The reminder of my deception sobered him up.

“I remember,” he said as if he really did not want to.

Apparently being inhuman and fae was worse than being human and an assassin. The butterflies in my stomach morphed into a stabbing pain that traveled the length of my torso and left an ache in the center of my chest.

“I know it doesn’t matter so far from Anthame, which is probably why you haven’t brought it up yet, but you can stop being so noble. I know without you saying it that the betrothal is off.”

I kept my gaze trained on the sea of blue in front of me. If I looked at him and saw the truth of my words confirmed in his eyes there would be no stopping the flood of tears I fiercely fought against.

Zander’s fingers gripped my chin. I did not allow him to turn my head towards him.

“Skyler, look at me,” he gently implored.

I obliged, powerless to deny him anything he asked of me.

“I love you. I loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you in the High Palace and I suspect I even loved you long before then. I will love you for the rest of forever, until my eyes close and I am no longer of this world.”

His words both assuaged the pain in my chest and exacerbated it at the same time. The image we saw at the end of the vision with the King that looked so similar to Zander lying still with his eyes closed and un-made flashed before my eyes. It contributed to the increasing ache in my chest but it was not what made it so fierce that I momentarily stopped breathing. The image that followed it of Zander lying in a pool of his own blood with a wide hole in his chest is what did that. He was not in the bedchamber I had never been in before this time though. He laid on the steps of the palace in Faerie.

He was right. Finding out what the visions meant and if they were precognitions of the future or not took precedence over convincing him to challenge Belial. I would give him up as the savior of Faerie, but I would not give him up as its martyr. I would not allow him to die at Belial’s cruel hands as my family and so many others had. If the vision I had just seen was what the future held for him then Faerie could be damned for the rest of existence. I was willing to sacrifice his love, not his life.

Deliciously kissable lips connected with mine as arms wrapped around me. They turned my body to face Zander then pulled me flush against him, dislodging me from my thoughts. Zander held me with a tight gentleness. It was as if he were cradling something both precious and fragile close to him and going through painstaking lengths to handle it with great care. I relaxed into his embrace as I moved my mouth in sync with his. My arms wrapped around his neck and my fingers tangled in his hair. We remained that way until Zander’s need for oxygen forced us apart.

“What was that for?” I touched shaky hands to my lips. The thing that existed between us was so new, so fresh yet so intense that it consistently left me trembling in the wake of its fierceness.

              Zander’s lips were no longer on mine but his arms still held me just as close as before.

“Are you complaining?” He grinned his signature heart-throbbing smile at me.

              “No,” I said breathily with a blush creeping into my cheeks.

              His expression turned from playful to intense and all consuming.

“I do not like it when I see shadows in your eyes. The pain of it feels worse than the knife that was twisted into my neck. I knew what I was getting myself into when I asked you to return to Pleith with me in Garrett. I did not know the nature of the truth you withheld, but I suspected you still harbored secrets you were not yet ready to divulge. I decided that I love you too much for it to matter when I was on my deathbed in Martha and Jefferson’s cottage fighting against the infection that threatened my life. That decision never changed. Real love, true love, expects nothing and gives everything. I love you so completely Skyler that I even love your faults. How could I not? They are a part of what makes you who you are. I do not know where this journey we have embarked on will lead us or what it means for our future path. But I do know this-- wherever it does lead to, a future without you in it is not a future worth existing in.”

              “Ditto,” I told him in reference to the last part of his statement. “I was not the only one who lay dead in that bed at the end of our shared vision. I just experienced another one where you lay dead alone on the steps of Belial’s palace in Faerie. I will not lose you Zander. It is selfish to say, but I don’t care what that means for the future of the realm I come from. You should pull rank as Anthame’s Crown Prince. Force the captain to turn the ship around and go back to Pleith and the safety of the High Palace. Forget about Faerie, and other realms, and stupid visions, and bloodlines and legends.”

              Zander tucked a stray curl behind my ear as he habitually did during our more intimate or emotionally charged moments.

“You don’t mean that. You are a fighter Skyler. You stand up and fight for what you believe in and you don’t give up until you come out victorious. When Kiera was abducted, you did not have to help me find her but you did. You didn’t have to place yourself literally beneath Krishna’s boot while he attempted to crush the life out of you but you did that too. You loved and protected my little sister just as fiercely as I have. You obviously care about the realm you come from. If it means a lot to you then it means everything to me because you do. After we figure out what the visions mean for our destinies, I will do whatever you need me to, for you.”

              “What if I need you to just be safe and go on existing?”

              “Then I will do everything in my power to do that too. But I will not return to Pleith. If things are as bad in Faerie as you say they are for your friends and its subjects and we do not go, you will never be free of the guilt from the decision. We will go Skyler, and I will do whatever you think I must. I owe you that much.”

              His last words confused me. Before I could ask him what he meant the sound of a man clearing his throat interrupted us.

The newcomer bowed before Zander. “My Prince, dinner is served for all passengers on board in the main dining hall. Since this is your first time traveling by ship, I wanted to respectfully inform you that the customary attire is formal. Though as a royal, you and the lady may wear whatever you like, or even not come at all. I can have dinner sent to your room if you desire.”

The slender man dressed in a steward’s uniform fidgeted with his hands uncomfortably. His words came out slow and measured, careful not to make a slip that would displease the Crown Prince.

              Zander considered the man’s words carefully. Then surprised me by telling him we would be dining in the main hall and assuring him we would dress as custom dictates. He instructed him to send whatever he thought was appropriate for himself and several selections for me to choose from to wear to our room.

The decision was uncharacteristic of him. Zander hated interacting and putting on airs with high society snobs as much as I did. The only reason we were traveling to Decretum aboard a ship used as a leisure vessel for high society individuals to travel to and from Anthame was that it was the safest option that would raise the least questions. No one would question or find it odd that the Crown Prince and his betrothed chose to take off on a trip aboard a leisure vessel in celebration of their impending nuptials.

I looked at Zander curiously questioning his response. He grinned his facetious grin at me before grabbing my hand and spinning me around in a circle. I let out a startled yelp.

He laughed at my surprised reaction. Then twirled me around a second time. “I enjoy seeing you dressed up more than I dislike rubbing elbows with pretentious nobles. You are beautiful regardless, but whenever I see you in a glittering gown it kicks my heart into overdrive.” He pulled me flush against him again and whispered into my ear, “And my hormones.”

I forgot to breathe again, though for a different reason this time.