Chaotic (Imperfect Perfection) (10 page)

I moved to open the door but Nash
covered my hand quickly with his. “Della, I don’t want this to change things
between us. I still want us to be friends even if we…have these feelings for
each other. Do you think we can do that?”

I looked back at those big brown eyes
that were pleading with me. I knew I should just tell him to forget it but I
couldn’t. “Sure, Nash,” I answered weakly. “I’ll see you later.” He finally
dropped his hand, and I made my way out of his truck. My mind was numb as I
pulled my keys out of my purse and pushed open the door to my dorm.

“Hey, Della, have a nice time with
-” Callie’s perky voice caught off abruptly as I kicked my heeled boots off and
dropped down onto the couch. “Oh no, something happened between the two of you
didn’t it?”

 She sat down cross-legged next to
me and gave me a concerned look. “I knew this was going to happen, I could just
tell Nash had more than just friends feelings towards you. And you do too,
right?” She reached over to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear that had escaped
my high ponytail.

I quickly shook my head, not even
wanting to think about it “You know what? It really doesn’t matter. Nash
spelled it out pretty clearly tonight that we would only be friends, so I’m not
going to waste my time dwelling on the what-ifs.” Callie opened her mouth like
she was going to argue with me but quickly shut it, jumping up to clap her
hands.

“All right then, well I hope you’re
starving because Zoey practically ordered everything off the Chinese menu and
should be on her way back by now. We are in need of some major pigging out.” I
smiled at her enthusiasm and let her pull me up and into the kitchen. At least
I had these two girls that seemed to always be there for me, even in the short
time we had known each other, more than pretty much anyone in my life ever had.

My enthusiasm for my new job was
quickly dwindling when I showed up Thursday afternoon and saw the ‘uniform’
that was required. All Brian had told me when he hired me was to wear a pair of
black shorts or a skirt, and he would give me my work shirt when I got there to
train.

This
could most definitely
not be considered a shirt.

I pulled at the black halter top
that basically ended right below my ribs, hoping it would somehow magically
grow in length, but that unfortunately didn’t happen. Oh well, at least my
stomach was flat and I still had most of my tan leftover for the summer. Tips
should be rolling in my way.

I walked out of the employee only
bathroom and heard a sharp whistle the second I turned into the kitchen. “Damn,
I didn’t know we had a new waitress.” I sucked in a breath when that familiar
cocky voice reached my ears and I looked up, meeting those gray eyes that I had
been avoiding pretty well for the most part.

 Judging by his tight fitting white
t-shirt with the words Shorty’s scrawled across it, I was guessing that was
going to be pretty hard. It was just my luck that I would get a job and
he
would
work here.

I pursed my lips at him,
considering what exactly to say to him. I really didn’t want to start off my
first day on the job being known as the bitch, but I also knew if I was nice to
him he would consider that flirting. Justin stepped an inch closer, smirking at
me while reaching out to flick the dangling belly button ring I had on today.

“Brian, I thought I told you I was
supposed to be interviewing all new potential employees,” he yelled out to the
front. “Doesn’t matter anyway, I would have definitely hired you,” he whispered
into my ear. “How could I resist seeing this almost every day?” He outlined my
body with his hands and I pushed into his chest quickly. “Ugh, please tell me
this is your last day of working here, because if it isn’t, I don’t know how
I’m going to deal with
this.
”

“Sorry to deliver the bad news,
sweetheart, but I’m Brian’s favorite. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. I’m
sure we can figure out a way to…work together.” That twisted smirk remained on
his face, and it really made me want to hurl. I had no idea how he and his ego
both even fit through the front door.

“Justin, are you bothering Della
all ready? You know the rules around here since the last situation we had to
deal with. Do I need to remind you?” Brian gave Justin a sharp look, and I
couldn’t help but giggle at the sheepish look on his face as his eyes finally
cast downwards away from my body. I could only imagine what the ‘situation’ was
that Justin had been involved in.

“So, Della, Kassie’s out front,
she’ll help you out for the day. Learn the menu, learn the cash register, and
be quick on your feet. If you can get those three by the end of the day, you should
be good to go for the weekend. Think you can manage?”

“Of course,” I answered quickly,
even though I was suddenly really nervous. I introduced myself to Kassie who
was a petite Asian girl with sleek black hair and almond shaped eyes. Her size
definitely didn’t stunt her speed though; I had to work quickly to keep my long
legs up with hers.

She explained to me that the place
got pretty busy on Thursdays night because of the fifty cent boneless wing
special they had, but she handled it all effortlessly. I wasn’t sure I could do
it by myself, but by the end of the night she had given me a few of my own
tables, and I had a feeling I all ready had a few repeat customers in my favor.
I couldn’t believe the tips I had stuffed in my pockets for basically working
an hour on my own.

I stepped out of the restaurant
just after midnight, exhausted, but feeling good about myself for finally
having earned my own money. “And where do you think you’re going?” I stiffened
immediately when I heard a voice behind me, but relaxed just a little when I
saw that it was Justin and watched as he snubbed his cigarette out with the tip
of his boot.

“Well, I figured I would go work
the street corners for awhile,” I replied with a roll of my eyes, crossing my
arms over my bare stomach. For some reason, I hadn’t thought to switch out
shirts before Brian locked up for the night, and I was now paying for it.

“Really? Which one? I’ll be sure to
be your only customer.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, following me down
the sidewalk as I made my way back towards the direction of the dorms.

“Funny. I’m just heading back home
for the night, you can leave me alone now.”

“C’mon, Della, do you really think
I’m that big of a jackass to let a girl walk alone in the dark? Dressed like
that?” He tugged on my elbow, pulling me in the opposite direction as I
struggled to go the other way. “I’m giving you a ride back whether I have to
drag your ass to my car or not. I really wouldn’t mind, just to let you know.
That is one fine ass.”

I could feel his eyes boring holes
through the back of my shorts as he pushed me in front of him, so I stopped
abruptly. “Fine, I’ll let you give me a ride home, but do you think you could
stop staring at my body for at least the ride over. It’s a little creepy.”

“Sorry,” he snorted, holding up his
hands defensively. “Didn’t realize I was such a creeper. Here we are.” He
pointed to a rusted out car that literally looked like it came straight from
the seventies and hadn’t been kept up what so ever. It might have been cool
back in the day, but now, it was just gross looking. “Um, I think I would
rather walk.”

“Oh, a princess, huh? Trust me, it
will get us from point A to point B, and it’s clean on the inside.” He pulled
open the door that creaked loudly and pushed me gently. “Get your ass in there,
I promise you won’t catch any diseases.” I sat down stiffly, not wanting to let
my body touch any part of the car, but surprisingly, it was clean on the
inside.

I was expecting it to be smelly and
have that cigarette smoke stench, but it actually smelled a lot like cinnamon
mixed with the cologne of his that I was all too familiar with. “See, not so
bad, right? Which dorm do you live in?” I gave him directions and we headed
that way, the drive silent the whole time. He kept his eyes trained on the road
as he sped through the mostly deserted roads, keeping his promise.

Really, I didn’t mind Justin
looking at me, but when he seemed to constantly have a different girl with him
every time I saw him, it just grossed me out.  I guess if I thought about it,
not that long ago I had been sort of like him, flitting from guy to guy, even
though I didn’t hook up with all of them. I had been a whore with a purpose if
I really thought about.

 It just seemed to help fill an
empty void. I hadn’t felt the need to fill that need since I moved here, I
think it had a lot to do with getting out of Connecticut, away from all of the
memories that I wanted to keep buried.

I hadn’t realized we stopped, until
Justin cleared his throat and I looked over to see his gray eyes trained on me
intensely. At least they were on my face this time. “Well, thanks for the
ride,” I mumbled before gripping the passenger handle, but it wouldn’t budge as
I pushed. “I think I have you trapped finally,” Justin smirked. “It doesn’t
open from the inside,” he quickly explained as I raised my eyebrows at him.

I huffed out a breath. “Okay, well
will you go and open it then?” His brows disappeared under the black beanie he
had on, his dark hair that was normally an unruly mess slightly peeking out, so
I decided on a different approach. Taking a deep breath, I tried to keep all
attitude out of my voice. “Justin, will you pretty please with sugar on top,
open my door. Please,” I added on again.

“We-ll,” he dragged out, his face
turning serious as he contemplated whether or not he should continue holding me
hostage or not, tapping one long finger on his chin. “Maybe if you promise to
be on top, I can-”

“Oh my god, do you ever stop with
the bullshit that comes out of your mouth. Have you ever had a serious
conversation in your life?” I screeched, smacking him in the chest with my
hand. He grabbed onto it before I could pull away, lacing our fingers together
while biting his lip ring. I could tell he was trying hard not to laugh at my
freak out, and I appreciated it. For some reason, he knew how to get on my
every nerve just by doing the smallest things.

“Della, I’m just not a serious guy,
but if you gave me the chance we could actually have a real, adult
conversation. If that’s what you really want,” he squeezed my hand lightly.

“Fine,” I huffed out “Let’s have a
‘conversation’ then.”

“Uh-uh, I think Sleeping Beauty
needs to get inside for the night. How ‘bout you let me take you out Sunday and
then we can talk?”

“I’m busy during the day on
Sunday.”

“Fine, then how about Sunday night,
does that work?”

“I guess.”

“Well, I’m glad you seem so excited
about it then. Is it all right if I pick you up around seven?”

“Whatever, as long as you let me
out of this damn car.”

“Excellent,” he replied, before
jumping out of the car and running around to open my door. His wide smile was
contagious and I couldn’t help but smile back at him as he deposited me at the
front door, waiting to make sure I had made it safely inside.

I waved at him before I punched the
up arrow on the elevator, and the last thing I saw before the doors shut, were
those gray eyes staring back at me. I would give him one date, chances were it
would probably only be one and after I didn’t give it up at the end of the
night, he would finally be over me.

“Della, baby, wake up. Wake up.” I
startled awake when I felt someone shaking me, a scream caught in my throat as
I scrubbed at my eyes and saw Grams staring back at me through the darkness in
my room with a worried expression crinkling her face. It took me a minute to
realize where I was, and I reminded myself that I had come over to spend
Saturday night before church on Sunday.

“Are you okay, baby?” She reached
out to smooth away the matted down hair on my forehead and I flinched at her
touch. “I’m fine, Grams. I must have had a bad dream. I don’t even remember
what it was about,” I lied.

“Well, you sure did give me a
fright, I heard you screaming like a banshee from down the hall. You’re sure
you are all right?”

“Yes Grams, thanks for checking on
me though. I’m going to try to go back to sleep for a bit.” I rolled over onto
my back when she quietly shut the door behind her and stared up at the stark
white ceiling. I knew sleep would never come back to me tonight.

I hadn’t had a nightmare in awhile;
at least one that had woke me up. When I was living with my mom, I got them
often, but not once did she ever come in to check on me, and I knew she most
likely heard me.

They were always the same. Chris and
I were there, alone, and everything came back in flashes. I knew it was that
night. That night that changed my whole life.

It had started out at a party that
we had gone to together, and we had both been pretty wasted. Afterwards, we
somehow made it back to his parent’s house that were out of town for the night.
I remember his hands running up and down my sides, and my dress somehow finding
its way onto the floor. I was coherent enough to know that I wasn’t ready yet,
but that didn’t stop him. They always ended in that sterile white room if I
didn’t wake up before then and that was the part I hated most.

A light tapping on my window startled
me after laying there wide awake for at least an hour. I pulled the covers up
to my chin, feeling like I was five years old again. Okay, Della, the boogey
man doesn’t exist. What in the hell are you freaking out about?

The tapping continued, getting more
frantic, so I pushed back the covers and crept towards the window. I crossed my
fingers hoping it was a stupid branch or something, and whipped back the frilly
pink curtains.