Charades (9 page)

     “There’s a grand-uncle in Mexico…” Wulf began.

     “Have you considered the Organization might have another agenda where she’s concerned?”

     Wulf sucked in his breath. “No.” He hadn’t thought of that. “Damn it! I won’t let them manipulate her if that’s what they’re trying to do.” He took another deep breath. “I have to protect her.”

     “Just how are you going to do that?”

     “I don’t know.” Wulf muttered. He looked again at the bullet hole in the pillow. This was nothing like wheeling and dealing in the oil business. There they took your money; here they took your life.

     “Well, at least you’re having sex with her, aren’t you?”

     “Excuse me?” Wulf said. “Let’s get real here. This is Mercy’s life we’re talking about, not sex.”

     “I am thinking realistically, and you better start thinking it too. No matter what happens next, she’s going to think you’re a bastard for using her or letting them use her. If you’ve had sex with her, she just might forgive you, if for no other reason than that. Sex is pretty powerful stuff.”

     What did Anton know about love or life? Hell, he’d never even married. “I won’t take advantage of her,” Wulf maintained, his statement ringing like a hollow gong. He’d already been thinking about doing just that. He heard Anton snort.

     “I’m serious Anton. I won’t let her go, not without a damn good fight.” Wulf paused for a moment, thinking. “You’re right. If it takes sex, I’ll do that, too.”

     “That’s my boy!” Anton chuckled. “I’ve always admired that ruthlessness in you. Why do you think I hired you? Now, the way I see it, if she’s in danger, then you damn well
owe
it to her to protect her. You got her in this spot, so you do whatever it takes to get her out. Hear me?”

     “You’re right,” Wulf said. How ironic that in his attempt to get his father’s acceptance and good will, he had risked losing the best thing that had ever happened to him.

     “Look,” Anton said, interrupting Wulf’s somber thoughts. “I know you don’t like hearing this, but a sexually dependent woman is a compliant woman. If you want to protect her, you’re going to have to make her both compliant and cooperative.”

     “God, you’re an amoral, cynical bastard.”

     “It works every time. Take my word for it.”

     “I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt her. She’s not like you or me. Frankly, it’s damn refreshing.”

     “What is she? A virgin or something?”

     Wulf was silent a moment. “Yeah. I think so,” he said. He couldn’t hear Anton’s muttered comment, but he could well imagine the content. Hell, maybe he
should
seduce her. If she hated him for his part in her deception or seduction, she would at least remember him and what he could make her feel.

     “I’m scared of losing her, Anton.”

     “Yeah, yeah, I know, but listen, that stuff can work both ways. Watch out. You could get dependent on
her
. Wouldn’t that be a fine kettle of fish?”

     Wulf laughed. “I’m
already
dependent on her. I want her more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life, including Jacob’s approval.”

     Anton was silent for a minute. “She’s that great, huh?”

     “Yes, she is.”

     “All right, then. Do what you think is best, and call me if you need anything. Okay?”

     “Thanks, Anton. You’ll be hearing from me soon.”

     “Good-night then. Be careful.”

     Mercy’s eyes flew open, her body frozen in alarm. Someone was in her room! Her heart thudded in terror, the sound echoing in her ears. A scream stayed locked in her throat. The purple neon sign from the building across the street flashed, illuminating the room. Wulf sat in a chair by the window. He was bare-footed, and bare-chested, and silent.

     The breath she had been holding whooshed from her chest. “Why did you scare me like that?” she gasped, pushing herself to a sitting position. Her heart gradually slowed its pounding.

     Wulf came over and sat on the side of her bed. “I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He cupped her cheek tenderly with one hand.

     The pleasure of his long, strong fingers threading through her hair with such tenderness made Mercy melt. She sucked in her breath. “I–it’s okay. I like you being here. Less lonely, I guess.”

     She turned her face and pressed a kiss into his palm. She smiled when she heard him catch his breath.

     It was exciting, intoxicating, the idea of
a man
in her bedroom. Not just any man.
Her
man. Like a moth to a flame, she longed to incinerate herself in his fire.

     Mercy brushed her hand against Wulf’s sandpapery face, her heart dizzy with love, her body feverish with suppressed desire. His unique scent was entrancing. She didn’t know why. Would he love her after she told him everything? Could she bear to take the chance of losing him?

     Wulf’s heart clenched as she smiled up at him with longing. How could she look so vulnerable and so sexy? The moonlight’s reflection and the unconscious provocative look on her face almost brought him to his knees.

     Closing his eyes, Wulf willed back the immense urge to claim her as his mate. He had come so close to losing her tonight. Just the thought of it made him almost maniacal with rage. He might lose her anyway when she found out how he’d deceived her, but he refused to dwell on that right now.

     He caressed the soft satin of her cheek, knowing there would never be anyone else for him. Hell, he didn’t deserve her or her feelings for him. He’d been sitting in that chair for almost thirty minutes as the battle raged between his need and his conscience.

     Hopeless and frustrated, all his noble thoughts vanished in a groan of despair. Wulf brought his lips down on hers, savoring the taste of her desire, hearing her small intake of breath and her willing, generous surrender. This might be his only chance to make love to her.

     Her response was so genuine, so real, so utterly enticing, he wanted to crush her against his chest. How could he be strong enough to deny both his need and hers? He couldn’t. It was that simple. He would have nothing left when she found out about him. Why not take advantage of this closeness and let the indescribable beauty between them flare?

     Wulf drew back, his lips hesitating a fraction away from hers. “Tell me you want this as much as I do,” he whispered, brushing feather-light kisses to her brow, her eyelids, her ears, her chin. Desperation licked like a hungry fire at him.

     “T–there’s something you should know about me first,” Mercy finally said. “I’ve been afraid to tell you before now.”

     “What, my darling?” He pressed more kisses down her neck, nuzzling the valley of her throat and the soft-as-satin tops of her breasts. “Have you robbed a bank or something?”

     Her moan made him grin in satisfaction.

     “Wulf, this is important,” she said, pushing him away from her. “It might make you change your mind about me.”

     He saw her worrying that deliciously full, lower lip of hers and frowned in confusion.

     “I’m not a virgin,” Mercy blurted out. “I was afraid to tell you, afraid you’d be disgusted with me.”

     The stark pain reflected on her face hit Wulf like a punch in the gut. He touched her cheek gently. “It doesn’t matter to me. But it matters to you, doesn’t it?”

     She nodded, silent, unmoving.

     “Do you need to tell me about it?” he asked.

     “It happened after my father died. I’d just come back to college for my sophomore year. But I wasn’t really back, not here,” she said, putting her hand on her chest and looking up at him. “I felt dead inside. I met a boy at school who let me talk about the funeral and Papa. One night he gave me something to drink. He said it would make me feel better.” Mercy laughed, the sound of it bitter and strained.

     Wulf’s jaw ached from clenching his teeth. He had a gut instinct where this was going, and he ached for her.

     “At first, I felt better,” she continued. “Then he insisted I drink more. I didn’t tell him I was beginning to feel sick.”

     Her tortured features made Wulf want to pound the pavement and howl in fury. He clenched his teeth harder, feeling a muscle on the side of his face begin to jump.

     Mercy didn’t seem to feel the tears on her cheeks, but they drove him insane. He reached out one finger and brushed away a tear.

     She shook her head. “I don’t remember much after that, except for him holding me down on the floor and hurting me. Then I threw up. All over his floor and all over him.”

     Wulf looked down. His hands were so tightly clenched he knew he must be hurting her. He let go, stretching his fingers, trying to contain his fury and helplessness.

     “He got angry at me, because all I could do was throw up and cry. I don’t remember how I got back to the dorm, and I didn’t realize what had happened until the next day.”

     His fists clenched again.

     She put her face in her hands. “I’m so ashamed of what I did.”

     “Mercy, don’t…”

     She lifted her tear-streaked face to his. “Every time I thought about it, I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t seem to get it out. I guess I’m afraid if I ever really cry, I’ll never stop.”

     “Don’t. Please don’t do this,” he crooned, pulling her close and holding her against his chest. Wulf realized for the first time in his life, he agreed with Hazel: He wanted to kill the man who would dare to hurt a trusting innocent like Mercy. He couldn’t make love to her tonight. He’d be no better than that young man.

     “I’ve never told anyone about this except my therapist,” she continued.

     “Mercy, I…”

     “That isn’t the worst, Wulf. I wish it were.”

     Could anything be worse? “Mercy…”

     “You’ve probably noticed I’m not very comfortable around men.” Wulf wanted to interrupt her, take her pain away forever. But she needed to talk about this experience, whether it bothered him or not.

     “I’ve been afraid of being alone with a man ever since that night. If I am, I get these panic attacks.”

     “Do you have them when you’re alone with me?”

     “No.” She averted her gaze. “I felt nervous with you. You took my breath away, in fact, but it wasn’t from fear or panic.”

     “Do you still feel that way?” Damn it to hell! He had no business being in her room with her like this, no business loving her, and certainly no business being loved by her.

     “Not anymore.” Shards of moonlight caught the sheepish look on Mercy’s face before she ducked her head.

     If she kept talking like this, he was never going to contain himself. The fog of arousal surrounding him felt like a searing mist.

     She raised her head and touched his arm. “I like your arms, the muscles, I mean, a-and the hair on your arms.”

     Wulf sat back, his conscience taking a well-needed rest.

     “I’m not used to talking about a man like this,” she said, looking away. “My face feels like it’s on fire. Thank God it’s so dark in here.”

     “Your face is beautiful, whether it’s on fire or not,” he reassured her. “What else do you like about me?”

     “Well, I–I like your hands, maybe too much, I think.” Her tongue slipped out and wet her lips.

     “My hands?” His hands were the most unsightly part of his body. That damn drilling rig had raised so many calluses, nicks, and scars on his hands, he knew some would never disappear. She liked his hands?

     “I like the strength in your hands,” she explained, “the feeling of power in them, the way I feel when you hold my hand.” She lifted his hand up to the sliver of moonlight, turning it one way and the other. “Or maybe it’s your wrists. They’re very sexy.” Looking down at their joined hands, she frowned. “I’m not sure which I like the best, your hands or your wrists.”

     Wulf sat dumfounded. No woman had ever found his wrists attractive, much less sexy.

     “I don’t know what else to say,” Mercy said, shrugging. “This is embarrassing.” Her voice dropped almost an octave.

     Wulf lifted her and placed her on his lap. He said nothing, just held her tight. He would never leave her or let her leave him. Never!

     Mercy closed her eyes against the tears burning behind her eyelids, wishing she could make her feelings go away. Trying to stop them only made things worse. She hadn’t cried in so long, and, oh, God, she hadn’t been held like this since she was a little girl. She turned her face into the curve of Wulf’s neck and shoulder hoping against hope she wouldn’t make a fool of herself.

     The flood building in her chest broke through her carefully constructed defenses. Her body shook with the force of all the damned-up tears. His gentle, murmuring endearments only made her cry harder. Several minutes passed before she could contain her sobs. Her tears finally subsided into short hiccups.

     “Darling?” The huskiness of Wulf ’s voice slowly penetrated her misery. He threaded his hands through her hair, turning her face up to his. “I’m going to ask you to do me a very big favor. Never, ever tell me this man’s name. If you do, I swear to God, I’ll find him and kill him for what he did to you.” She could feel the truth of his words in the rigid muscles of his arms, in the firmness of his hands.

     “You mean that, don’t you?”

     “Yes.”

     Mercy stared at him for a moment, and sighed. The great well of desire and need simmering inside her for this man was almost overwhelming.

     The shadows of the room prevented her from seeing his face, but she knew it with her heart. She reached out, loving the feel of him under her exploring fingers. His face conjured visions of mighty warriors from ages past. They would have had the same rugged features, the same callused hands, and the same strong wrists from wielding swords or battleaxes.

     “I might freeze up on you if we ever make love, maybe even have a panic attack. I honestly don’t know what will happen.” Mercy held her breath. She hadn’t meant to imply that they were going to make love, but it seemed she couldn’t think about anything else right now. Her body shivered at the thought.