Charlene Sands (17 page)

He nodded slowly. This wasn’t going well. Hell, he couldn’t figure women out. Weren’t most ladies eager to jump into matrimony? He was a decent sort, owned a nice parcel of property and had a daughter Lily loved. What did Lily want, anyhow? He’d already told her he couldn’t marry again, least ways not in the real sense. His heart wouldn’t allow it. But marrying him would solve all of Lily’s financial problems. She’d have a home, and all that went with it, including upholding her reputation.

“And how do you feel about me?” she asked with sugary sweetness. She eyed him speculatively. Her change of mood put him on alert. It was a trap, Tyler was sure. And the room suddenly seemed stifling. Tyler’s pores began to leak moisture. He loosened his shirt, undoing a button. “Feel? Uh… I l-like you.
You’re good with Bethann. You know how to cook, shoot—”

“I see.”

Her eyes condemned him at that moment. She had a way of making him feel guilty. True, he wanted her in his bed, but he wasn’t offering that, unless she chose to come to him. Lord, he wanted her to come to him. But what he was truly offering was a way to keep her reputation intact.

And keep other men away from her.

Ah, hell, he thought, he couldn’t afford to have feelings for her. Not real, genuine, you’re-the-light-in-my-life sort of feelings. No, he’d had that kind of love once. And the hurt was deep to unbearable, losing it.

“You like me enough to make the sacrifice and marry me?” Lily’s face flamed, her words sharp, cutting.

“No, I—damn it, Lily, you’re turning this all around.”

“Don’t curse, Tyler.” She planted her hands on her hips. “And no, I won’t marry you! Not for those reasons. Are you forgetting I’m leaving as soon as I find my uncle?”

Anger seemed to give way to tears. They streamed down her face now. She wiped at them and continued. “In fact, I—I got a wire j-just the other day, that he’d passed through Fort Worth. S-so you s-see,” she said on a muffled sob, “I’ll probably find him soon and you won’t have to worry about my reputation. I’ll be gone before you know it!” She hoisted her chin and strode to the door.

“Tarnation! Lily!” he shouted, but was too late. The door slammed right smack in his face. “I don’t want you to go,” he murmured quietly to the closed
door, stunned that he’d voiced what had been pounding in his head for days now. The thought of her leaving etched a hollow ache in his gut but the thought of her staying made him shudder in fear.

Tyler slumped into his desk chair, undoing the rest of his shirt buttons. It did nothing to quell his heat or his frustration. The woman made him burn with…hell, he knew why he was so frustrated. He needed a woman. One that wouldn’t make him feel guilty or angry or anything at all. He stood and strode to the door with new determination. It had been too long since he’d visited the Golden Garter Saloon.

Lily caught her breath the minute she closed her bedroom door. She stopped crying immediately and berated herself for letting that man cause her such heartache. Imagine his nerve!
Now
he wanted to protect her reputation, when it was all but ruined, anyway. His was the poorest excuse for a marriage proposal she’d ever heard. Did he believe giving her his name would justify denying her his heart? Because, Lily wanted his heart. She wanted to love and be loved. Was that so wrong? She wished the fool man would open his eyes and see the love she had for him shining in her eyes.

Darn him, anyway.

For a brief moment when he’d offered, Lily had contemplated being his wife. Many women marry for sake of convenience. She needed a home, wanted a family, loved both father and daughter—but she couldn’t do it. She had always been prideful. Even when she was penniless, Lily always kept her head held high and expected no less of herself than she expected of others.

Marrying Tyler Kincaide for all the wrong reasons wouldn’t be fair to either of them. Besides, Lily deserved love. If the man couldn’t open his heart, she’d have to move on. Besides, she couldn’t ignore her father’s last dying wish to find Uncle Jasper and make a home with him. It was a promise Lily meant to keep.

With that thought in mind, Lily wrapped a shawl around her shoulders and walked outside for a breath of air. The cool breeze lifted her spirits somewhat and she began strolling down a path. The moonlight and hundreds of bright stars lit her way. Ambling along, breathing in the crisp spring air, gave her renewed strength. She’d find her uncle. And once she was settled in her new home, she would write to Bethann each week and when she was old enough, the young girl could come visit Lily. The thought soothed her. She felt a sense of calm, a feeling of peace.

One hour later, Lily was frantic.

“Bethann!” Clutching Miss Daisy, the little girl’s doll, Lily scoured the rooms in the house. Bethann wasn’t in her bed, or in any other part of the house. She always slept with her doll and the fact that Lily had found it outside the doorway of Tyler’s office, didn’t bode well. If Bethann overheard the heated conversation Lily’d had with Tyler, no doubt she’d be upset. Maybe upset enough to run away.

Tears pooled in Lily’s eyes. She couldn’t afford to cry right now. The most important thing was to find Bethann. And Tyler was nowhere to be found, either.

She raced outside, calling Bethann’s name. The first place she looked was the barn, where Pint-Size was stabled. It was dark, but she was able to make out images of the animals and no sight of the little girl.

Then she ran to the corral all the while calling out
for Bethann. Lily’s heart thundered in her chest. Her mind spun with terrifying thoughts. Bethann by the creek, Bethann injured, hurt and alone.

Pounding on the bunkhouse door, Lily shrieked for Wes to open up. When the door opened slowly, she grabbed at the old man’s arms. “Have you seen Bethann?”

Wes scratched his head. “No, missy, I ain’t. I been sleepin’.”

“Wake up the boys and start searching for her. She’s missing. She could be anywhere. Oh, Wes!” Lily held back tears, blocking out the frightening thoughts threatening to filter in. “Please hurry, Wes. I can’t find her!”

Then a thought struck that gave her cause for hope. “Tyler’s gone. Maybe he took her with him. Where is he? Do you know?”

“Yes, ma’am, I do. But it ain’t likely she’s with her pa. Tyler rode out a while ago. He went into town.”

“Town?” This late? Why would Tyler go all the way into town at this hour? When Wes didn’t offer more, Lily pressed the issue. “I need to know where he is, Wes. He’s got to know Bethann’s missing.”

“I’ll go git him,” Wes offered automatically.

“No! You stay here and organize the search. We need every able-bodied man to look for her. Wake up the boys. Tell them to search by the creek. Send someone to Rhonda Mae’s, others should spread out over the land. We’ve got to find her, Wes. I’ll get Tyler. Now tell me where he is.”

Wes hesitated about a second under Lily’s scrutiny, then finally relented. She noted a flicker in his wrinkled eyes. “He’s at the saloon.”

“The Golden Garter? Fine, I’ll take the buckboard.”

“You ain’t goin’ to town by yoreself. Tyler’d have my hide. And it ain’t fittin’ a lady steppin’ in a saloon.”

“Let me worry about that. Bethann’s the important one here. Now, please have someone hitch up the buckboard. We’re wasting time.”

With a nod, Wes woke up his crew and began barking orders. The old man could move fast in a crisis. Years of experience, Lily thought. As she headed for the barn, she said a silent prayer for Bethann’s safety.

Nothing else mattered.

T
he taste of whiskey soured in his throat. Tyler held the glass up, peering through the amber liquid and recalling a time when liquor had controlled his life. He’d lost himself in its mind-numbing depths after Lizabeth died. Now, seeking its comfort once again, left an empty void inside. He slowly lowered the glass.

“What’s the matter, sugar? Don’t you like what we’re serving up tonight?”

In the dimly lit room, Tyler glanced at the redhead with the pouty crimson smile. Her face, just a little too bright with color, the shine in her flickering moss-green eyes a little too stoic to be considered genuine. He caught the glitter of gold from the garter she wore around her thigh as she sat next to him on the bed.

“Guess not, Renee.”

“Aw, I bet I can fix that,” she cooed, scooting closer. Her hands worked at the buttons of his shirt. When the imprint of her hand scorched his chest, Tyler glanced up. “Why don’t you stretch out on the bed,” she said in a low sultry voice.

Tyler covered his hands over hers, stopping her
from going further. With a shake of his head, he took her hands off him. “Sorry, darlin’.”

She seemed momentarily disappointed. “You’re sure?”

He hung his head. “Sure as anything. Sorry, again.”

She moved away from him and chuckled. “Don’t be. This happens from time to time.” Lifting his glass to her lips, she took a quick sip of whiskey.

“What does?” He raised his eyes to hers.

“One of two things.” She glanced down at the area between his outstretched thighs. “I don’t believe you’ve got a physical problem.”

Tyler widened his eyes, feeling lines form on his forehead. “No,” he choked. He didn’t have that kind of a problem at all.

“Then it’s a woman,” the redhead said with certainty.

Tyler braced an elbow on his knee and rubbed his jaw. “A woman, you say?”

Renee gave him a smug smile. “Am I wrong, Tyler?”

Tyler pursed his lips, ready to deny her claim. He huffed. “No, guess not.”

He couldn’t lay a hand on Renee without thinking about Lily. Damn, the woman was driving him crazy. He wanted her, but knew he couldn’t have her. Maybe if she had agreed to his marriage proposal, she would have come to him. But knowing the futility of the situation didn’t squelch the strong desire he had for her.

Renee sat down on the bed and crossed her legs, swinging them out. “You’re in love, Tyler Kincaide.”

Tyler opened his mouth to definitely deny this
claim, but a boisterous commotion coming up from the first floor of the saloon interrupted his thoughts.

Hoots, hollers and loud laughter filled the small room.

“You can’t go up there, lady!”

“Aw, let her go. We need some excitement ’round here.”

“I’ll be damned if I let my woman up there!”

Curiosity sparked, Tyler stood and opened the door. Then his mouth fell open. Lily stood on the opposite side of the doorway, ready to knock. She took in his appearance, then glanced past him to Renee, sitting casually on the bed. Her eyes rounded, taking on the appearance of giant-size sapphires. Tyler blocked her view with his body and tucked in his shirt. He gulped. “Lily! What in tarnation are you doing here?”

“I wouldn’t have interrupted, if it wasn’t urgent.” She stared at his exposed chest. Realizing how this must look to her, he began buttoning his shirt. Renee’s laughter from behind didn’t help matters.

“You’re not interrupting.”

Lily ignored him. She had a determined look on her face. And a fearful one. “Bethann’s missing. I can’t find her anywhere. I thought you should know. I’ve got all the men out looking for her.”

“What do you mean, missing? Lily, we put her to bed early tonight.”

“I know, I think she overheard us…arguing about…” She glanced past him once again, into the room then she lowered her voice. “About getting married. I found her doll on the floor out by your office.”

On a heavy sigh he said, “That little one’s got to learn not to eavesdrop.” He turned to retrieve his hat. Renee came up from behind and handed it to him. She
flashed her moss-green eyes, then winked. Tyler cringed inwardly. He was sandwiched between two women. One was grinning like a miner who’d just struck gold, the other was frowning, casting him a look of disgust.

Slowly, Tyler slid his hand into his pocket.

“No charge tonight, Tyler.” Renee winked again. “Go on, and find your little girl.”

Tyler nodded, feeling heat rise up his neck to singe his face. Glancing from Renee to Lily as both women watched him, he jammed his hat onto his head and took Lily by the arm. Tight-lipped, he said, “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

Tyler worked the reins of the buckboard expertly, bringing the wagon to a stop right in front of the barn. He hopped out and reached for Lily’s hand. She was too quick for him. She jumped down by herself, nearly tripping on the hem of her new blue dress. Both raced over to Wes, who was leisurely smoking a cheroot by the corral gate.

They reached him at the same time. “Well, did you find her?” Lily asked, nearly out of breath, more from fright than from the run.

“Randy found ’er halfways to Rhonda Mae’s, sound asleep in a patch a grass.”

Lily slumped with relief. “Thank God!” She leaned her body against the corral railing. “Where is she?”

“In bed, where she ought to be.”

Lily made a move to leave. Tyler took her arm. She didn’t want his hands on her. She just wanted to forget the whole evening. It had gone from bad to worse real fast. The shock of seeing him with that woman was just settling in. In one instant, he was asking to marry
her. In the next, he was in the arms of a prostitute. And her humiliation equaled her mortification when she’d dragged him out of that room to search for his daughter.

Lily was glad she’d listened to her pride and refused his offer of marriage.

“We’ll check on her together,” he said resolutely. Lily couldn’t deny him the chance to see his daughter safely tucked into her bed. And she had to see the little girl herself, before she’d get one wink of sleep.

Wes sighed. “Seems the little ’un, caught a whiff of a marriage proposal.”

They both turned to Wes. “Is that why she ran away?” Lily asked, almost certain it was. A sense of dread engulfed her already-fragile heart.

Wes puffed on his cheroot. “Appears so. She was hurtin’ real bad. Seems to me, the two of you ought to make up yore minds, before that little ’un gets all confused.”

Tyler put his head down. “That conversation wasn’t meant for her ears, Wes.”

“I know it, but she loves Lily, wants her to stay on.”

Lily gasped. Her heart tightened with sorrow for Bethann. She’d never meant to bring sadness to that dear child’s life. If only Tyler had feelings for her, Lily would come back after she found her uncle. She’d not abandon Bethann. But Tyler didn’t love her. How could she marry a man just because it suited their practical needs? No, Lily couldn’t do it. She couldn’t deny her heart Tyler’s love. The pain of staying on would be far worse than the pain of leaving.

Lily wrestled free of Tyler’s grasp. “I’ve got to go see her.” She ran up the steps and into the house.

Tyler’s footfalls fell into step with hers. She quieted once in the hallway. Tiptoeing into her room, Lily viewed Bethann, swollen-eyed, clutching her pillow, sound asleep. Her breaths came in irregular puffs, the result of so much crying. Lily bit her lip to catch her own sorrowful tears from escaping.

Tyler sidled up next to her. He was too close for comfort as his breath caressed her neck. It was dark in the room, and having him stand so close as they both watched Bethann sleep, seemed so intimate, so right. But it wasn’t meant to be. Lily scooted away and focused all of her attention on the sleeping child.

“Poor little angel. She’s had such a tough time, losing her mother, trying to adjust.” Her innermost thoughts came out in a whisper. Lily saw Tyler stiffen his shoulders.

“I’m doing the best I can,” he said quietly.

Turning to see the pain on Tyler’s weary face, for an instant Lily thought she could just marry him. And give Bethann the security and love she needed. And Tyler, too, stubborn as he was, needed love. Her love. But he wouldn’t see it. Her thoughts softening to him, she wondered if she could stay. Maybe in time, he’d grow to love her.

Then a vision of the near-naked redhead on the bed in an upstairs room of the Golden Garter Saloon flashed like lightning into her head. And Tyler, looking guiltier than sin itself when she’d found him there, made Lily bristle with anger. And regret.

She bent and gently brushed a soft kiss on Bethann’s forehead, then turned to leave the room. Tyler followed her.

“Lily, wait. Please,” he asked in a soft plea.

She couldn’t look at him. She stopped at her bedroom
door and glanced down at her hand as she grasped the knob. “You’re doing a fine job with Bethann. I—I’m tired, Tyler. Good night.”

“But, Lily,” he said, stepping closer.

Feeling the heat of his gaze on her back, she quickly entered her room.

She slumped against the door and once hearing Tyler’s hesitant footsteps retreat, Lily sobbed silently.

“You know what you did last night put a fright in both your pa and me, Bethann.” Lily kept her voice calm, soothing. In a crouched position, she worked her fingers around the base of the flowers that were beginning to bud. Lifting and tossing any wayward weeds in the garden, she spied Bethann doing the same in a patch next to her.

“Sorry, Miss Lily,” she said, not looking up. Her little fingers worked the soil, the way Lily had taught her.

“You were upset. It’s understandable, but, sweetie, that conversation wasn’t meant for little ears.” With a small shovel, Lily upended the soil, giving it a good turn, then took her watering bucket and doused the roots.

“But don’t you want to stay with us?” Bethann’s round eyes beseeched her.

Lily took her gloves off, giving them a swat against the porch steps to loosen the mud. She reached for Bethann. “Come here.”

Bethann scooted into Lily’s arms. The two sat on the ground. Lily rocked her. “I don’t want to leave you, Bethann, you must remember that.”

“But you won’t marry my papa.”

“I—I can’t. I don’t expect you to understand right
now. But we’ll always be friends, you and I. You’ll never really lose me. I promise.”

“Papa says you havta find your uncle.”

“That’s right, you know that. We’ve talked about it. It was my father’s last dying wish that I find Uncle Jasper and make a home with him and his family. My papa worried over me, the way your papa worries over you. I promised him, Bethann. It’s something I have to do.”

“Will you come back when you find him?”

“If I say I will, no matter how far away I am or how long it takes, it’s my promise to you. I’ll come back one day for a visit. And when you get older, maybe your papa will let you come to stay with me a while, too.”

“But,” she whimpered, “I don’t want you to go a’tall.”

“Oh, Bethann! I wish I could stay.” Lily closed her eyes and hugged her tight, rocking in a swaying motion. “I’m sorry, little one. I truly am.”

Bethann nuzzled deeper, pressing her head into Lily’s chest. “I love you, Miss Lily.”

“I love you, too. And when people love each other, they stay right here,” she said, planting a fist on her chest, “right in our hearts. So you see, they are always with you.
I’ll
always be with you. And you’ll always be with me.”

Bethann poked her fist at her chest. “Right here?”

Lily covered her tiny fist with her hand and applied slight pressure. “That’s it. That’s what love is all about.”

She stroked Bethann’s long unruly hair. She couldn’t fathom not seeing her every day. Lily had once told Tyler she wasn’t trying to replace Bethann’s
mother, but deep in her heart, Lily knew she had done just that.

Unintentionally she had become more than Bethann’s nanny, she had come to love her as a mother loves a daughter. The child meant everything to her.

“What about my papa?” She moved her fist from her chest to Lily’s. “Is he here, too?”

Lily sucked in a breath. “Oh, yes, Bethann, he’s here, too.” She loved Tyler more each day—there seemed no hope for it. But it was futile to love a man who refused her at every turn. Lily realized the truth in that now. Tyler would never be hers. “Let’s not think about all this right now. It’s far too depressing for such a beautiful sunny day. I need you to promise never, ever, to run away again.”

Bethann nodded. “I promise.”

Lily kissed her on the cheek. “Good girl.” She stood and reached for Bethann’s hand. “Let’s go check the sunflowers. I bet there’s a tall one ready to pick.”

Bethann jumped up. “Okay,” she said, placing her hand in Lily’s.

They were partway there when the rumbling sound of an approaching horse made them both turn toward the entrance gate off in the distance.

“Uncle Brett!” Bethann exclaimed with a shrill of excitement.

Dapper as always, the tall, thin man, wearing a dark suitcoat, tie and vest, rode proudly in the saddle. Lily glanced around. The ranch hands all seemed to be gone at the moment. She knew for certain, Tyler was tending to a sick steer in the east pasture.

With a shiver, she realized she’d have to handle this
situation by herself. “Go on inside, Bethann. Wash up and stay put until I call for you.”

“But,” the little girl said, pointing to the approaching man on horseback, “Uncle Brett’s here.”

Lily made her voice as stern as she ever had in the past. “Do as I say, Bethann. Now. Don’t come outside unless I call for you.” She swatted the little girl’s behind gently for emphasis. “Go on.”

Thankfully, Bethann obeyed. With one battle won, Lily readied herself for the next. It would probably be her most challenging. She stood tall, straightening her spine, and waited for Brett Muldoon.

He reached her moments later, wearing a charming smile. Tipping his hat, he greeted her, “’Morning, Lillian. You sure do look pretty today.”

Lily brushed dust from her skirt, then looked at him directly. “What are you doing here, Mr. Muldoon?”

His charming smile faded. “Why, that’s not a very hospitable welcome. Have I done something to offend you?”