Charlinder's Walk (13 page)

"I was never really concerned about him," replied Charlinder. "I'd like to hear something a little better than 'I know I can't talk you out of it' from Miriam, though."

To Charlinder's surprise and mild annoyance, Roy started chuckling. "You have more than enough support for your journey already, you know."

"Yeah, I do, but..."

"And you do know Miriam loves you like her fifth child, don't you?"

"I never doubted that."

"So as long as no one is getting in your way, be happy with the support you have."

"All right, then, lend me your wisdom on this," Charlinder began, "because something still has me confused."

"And what's that?"

"What was Darrell's speech about? Was Miriam going to listen to him just because he's older? He didn't say anything I haven't said already."

"Maybe it was just a matter of timing and circumstances, or, yes, maybe a lucid elderly man's opinion means more to some than that of a twenty-year-old agitating for change. But what's the difference, really, between religious believers and godless heathens like us?"

"Logic, perhaps?"

"Fine, smart-ass, but if we're the ones with the right idea, then how did theistic religion become so successful pre-Plague? You don't need to answer right now, but give it some thought. I think you know it already."

"Yeah, I'll give it some thought."

September passed into October without incident. Whenever Charlinder talked to one of the Faithful about the beating, their opinion was that Bruce should have put more effort into praying for Kenny to see the error of his ways rather than take it upon himself to mete out punishment. None of them agreed that it wasn't Bruce's place to decide Kenny was doing anything wrong. When Kenny was able to walk without terrible pain, Charlinder took a trip out to the Cell.

He'd seen the place before, but he'd never taken a good look at it. The wood was visibly older than that of most of the standing cabins; it was rotting and crawling with bugs. The door was locked from outside with a heavy bolt. There was only one window, a small square cut into the east-facing wall, too high to let anyone inside see another person's face. The only other opening into the structure was a low slot sawn out of the bottom of the door so the prisoner could receive food. Never before had he thought about the condition Bruce must have been in after being shut in there for weeks.

"Hey...Bruce?" he called tentatively.

"Who's there?" was the hoarse reply.

"It's Charlinder."

"Of course. I haven't heard your voice in a while."

"Yeah, it's me. Listen, how are you in there?"

"I'm just fine."

"You don't sound just fine. What do you have with you in there?"

"Just me. It's cold and damp and full of bugs, but I’m used to the smell by now."

"Uh...good. Who else has been by to see you?"

"Ruth brings all my meals, so I get to talk to her a lot." By now he was picking up steam; his throat was clearing out and his voice sounded healthier. "My mother's come to visit, and she thinks I'm a madman. Yolande's been here with Stuart, so I get to hear how my nephew's doing. Miriam's come over, but she just wants to lecture me. Taylor and Robert visit a lot. Someone threw a sack full of sheep crap through the window a week ago; I think that was Jess and Theo."

"Well, you
did
almost kill their brother. Has Yolande told you she isn't pregnant after all?"

"Yeah, she let me know."

"So, have you thought about what you did to Kenny?"

"I wasn't trying to kill him, I just wanted to...scare some sense into him. How is he doing now?"

"He's getting a little tired of Darrell. He's still nervous about whether you'll hurt him again, you know."

"I'm not going to beat him up again. I don't think I'll have to."

"That doesn’t answer the question."

"Look, I know that violence doesn't make the situation any better, but my wrongdoing was for a night. Kenny's been on the wrong path for years, and most of the village have been ignoring the word of God for much longer."

"So you think your actions were justified?"

"I won't beat anyone again, but those of us who believe aren't about to give up on the rest of you."

"I'm sure you mean well, but we're doing just fine--really just fine--without your help."

"Char, I don't think you realize what you're doing without. Have you ever noticed how we Faithful are so much happier than others? That's the benefit of listening to God."

"Kenny was pretty happy before you did your number on him."

"No, he wasn't. I'm sure he thought he was, but he doesn't know what true joy is."

"And you're here to tell the rest of us what it means to be truly happy?"

"Look, Char. I'm sure you'll find something when you take your journey, but if you're going to make it around the world, you'll need to depend on more than just yourself."

Charlinder decided not to tell Bruce he also planned to take one of the village’s animals, though of course that wasn't what Bruce had in mind. "Thanks for the kind regards, Bruce. I'll see you when you get out."

As he walked back to the village, Charlinder understood the "difference" his uncle meant, in fact he'd seen it as soon as he'd made the decision to travel to Italy. Hearing the passion in Bruce's voice, he knew why Darrell had needed to say his piece.

Chapter Ten

Approach

To his own credit and everyone else's relief, Bruce remained true to his word. After Kenny regained full use of his limbs without pain, Darrell agreed that he was sufficiently recovered. Bruce was released from the Cell, and while he still remarked on the dangers of "promiscuity," he didn't say anything specifically about Kenny. Yolande went back to raising her son with Bruce, while he and Kenny gave each other a wide berth. Kenny could often be counted on to say something rude about Bruce's sexual history (or rather his lack of it) but never where Bruce could hear him, as they now avoided each other whenever possible. This made life annoying for Yolande, but as she'd always been mildly annoyed between the two of them, she agreed that it was the best she could ask for.

Charlinder, meanwhile, found himself doubly busy as the weeks marched into December. Not only was he nearing his departure date, he was also involved, along with all the community, in the preparations for the Christmas celebration. At school, he and Judith taught the children Christmas songs and had them dip candles. After school, he and some older students folded his precious linen-fiber paper into ornaments for the tree. The meeting room inside the council building was at its busiest time of year. Spinning wheels crowded into the room with looms and the clicking of knitting needles joined the whir of drop-spindles and the squeals of small children as their mothers, aunts, the occasional grandmother and Charlinder worked like bees to produce as much yarn, covering and ornamentation as possible before the Winter Solstice. They were occupied with knitting angels, snowflakes and other decorative objects out of linen thread as well as producing blankets and broadcloth for anyone who found themselves insufficiently insulated. The dense crowding and feverish pace were contrived partly to meet the demand, and partly to keep the spinners and other worker bees from freezing their limbs off. Charlinder stood with Phoebe and Nadine while they spun wool on their drop-spindles to supply the nearest weaver with weft.

"So I said to her," Phoebe ranted, "'Look, Mom, if you send me to help clean fish for six days in a row--like you've been doing--then I don't wanna hear about how my hands smell!' Just because she's numb to cold and heat, honestly."

"Just think, someday it'll be your daughter talking to you like that," said Nadine. While Charlinder and Phoebe laughed, she went on, "Change of subject. I was mending a fishnet with Ruth this morning..."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Phoebe cut in.

"Yeah, well," Nadine continued, "don't ask me how we got on the subject, but she reminded me that we're celebrating a Christian holiday, while I'm busy acting like their God doesn't exist. I said it's a community tradition and I don't have much of a choice in the matter."

"It wasn't always a Christian holiday," Charlinder said. "Jesus wasn't really born in late December. The Christians appropriated the Winter Solstice celebration from the Earth-worshippers to boost the appeal of their religion. They did the same thing with the Spring Equinox for Easter."

"The Spring Equinox, I can understand," said Phoebe, "but why would the Earth-worshippers celebrate this time of year?"

"I've always figured, between the cold and the darkness, they needed something to keep them from going nuts," Charlinder suggested, "which is probably why we bother with it now."

"I wanna see you say that out loud in front of Ruthie," said Nadine.

"Why don't you say it instead?"

No one tried to bait Ruth that year. Christmas dawned sunny and frigid on them. Charlinder and Judith gathered their students together in the afternoon for their annual concert of such classics as "O Holy Night" and "Here We Come A-Wassailing" to the mitten-muffled applause of the village before their holiday feast. When the food was eaten up, Eleanor addressed the crowd. She congratulated their community on another year together, whose significance Charlinder never really understood, but no one was inclined to demand explanations. Her speech made more sense when she moved onto recognizing the children born that year. She continued with celebrating that everyone was in relatively good health so far that winter, which Darrell confirmed.

"...and we only have a few weeks left with our dear Charlinder!" she continued, at which he nearly jumped. "Now, Judith is doing very well at the school, so we don't have to worry about who'll teach the children. But Charlinder is leaving us next month, so we'll need to keep him in our prayers and ask the Lord to please bring him back to us in time."

At the end, Charlinder found himself trying to count up the number of times he'd been told, directly or not, that he was not expected to make it through his journey alive. Then he started wondering whether half the Faithful actually wanted to see him again, but he scolded himself for it. To his bewilderment, they had been nothing if not supportive for as long as he'd been planning his travels. They simply had different expectations for the answers he would bring back.

As the evening wore on, Charlinder drew towards the periphery of the Meeting Square with Sunny and a jug of home-brew, both of them laughing and trying to see how much they could drink without falling over. When she began leading him toward the schoolhouse, he was about to protest, but then remembered through his drunken haze that there were no children in there, so it would not hurt to see what Sunny wanted. He found a fire already crackling in the hearth and a set of blankets arranged on one of the tables.

"Oh, it's warm in here, I like that," Charlinder observed, and then Sunny encouraged him onto the table between the blankets, where she promptly joined him.

"I sure hope so," said Sunny, and unceremoniously began taking off her outerwear and helping Charlinder out of his.

"What's the occasion?" he wondered aloud.

"It's Christmas," she answered, as if that were all the reason she needed. "Good will to men and all that."

"Does that mean we're gonna hark the herald angels sing?"

"What the hell does that mean, anyway?"

"I don't think we're supposed to know what it means."

Sunny leaned in and spoke into his ear. "I know what this means, though," she said, and then, like she knew he enjoyed, started nibbling on his ear.

She was on top of him just then, and he wouldn't stay like that. He flipped them over, made short work of the rest of their clothes, and he and Sunny warmed each other up.

Charlinder woke up when the fire had faded down to shrinking embers. He was tangled up in some blankets with an equally naked Sunny, but he was also chilly, hungry, had a minor headache, and needed to empty his bladder. He disentangled himself from Sunny and stumbled around in the dark to shiver his way back into his clothes.

"Char, could you hand me my clothes?" Sunny mumbled from her place on the table where his 7-year-olds usually did their classwork.

He found her clothes and tossed them to her with all the grace he could spare in finding things in a dark and cold room while getting dressed so he could go outside to relieve himself. He yanked on his sweater and hat and ran outside.

Despite the cold, or perhaps because of the sudden crisp air on his face, he realized something once he was able to relax between the nearby trees.

Running back inside, he was glad to find Sunny dressed and still conscious.

"Listen, maybe you remember better. Did we use a condom?" he asked.

"No, we didn't," she replied unconcernedly.

"That's not good," he started.

"No, it's fine, Char. Don't worry about it."

"What stage are you at in your cycle now?"

"Really, just forget it. You have enough to do already," she insisted. "Now I am going back to my cabin to sleep."

There were no classes at school for the rest of December and all through January. So it was scheduled when Eileen Woodlawn taught the community's first children, so the tradition continued into Charlinder's childhood. This meant he had nothing to do in the ensuing days except prepare for his departure. This included meeting with Judith to help her plan future lessons, but mostly it involved creating and acquiring supplies to add to his travel provisions.

On the third day after Christmas, Phoebe asked Charlinder to take a walk with her, which ended up in the stable loft, with enjoyable (though not surprising) results. Two days after that, Yolande left Stuart with Miriam while Bruce was away and asked Charlinder to check a weak spot in the wall of her cabin. He saw nothing amiss with the situation at first, but soon found that she had other ideas and that Kenny hadn't been exaggerating about her.