Charmed (Contemporary Romance) (19 page)

“But we can make it a farewell dinner as well, if you’d like,” Claire generously offered.

“Oh, yes, sure, of course.” Susan and Emma said in unison.

“Well, then, let’s order first, and then you can dissect all my destructive tendencies and intervene in my life while we wait for dinner, how’s that?” Nick asked. He was amused, but he couldn’t play along until he could at least anticipate that food was on its way.

The group placed their orders and the waiter left. Nick took a deep breath and faced the three women.

“I’m ready for your intervention now,” he declared, trying hard to remain serious.

“This isn’t funny, Dad. We are worried about you,” Emma began.

“She’s right. You’re being obstinate and hardheaded, and that is self-destructive behavior that you need to acknowledge and deal with.” Claire looked at him with no-nonsense eyes.

“We just want you to be happy, Nick, and we feel we can help you,” Susan chimed in.

Nick stared at them in confusion. They clearly hadn’t rehearsed or planned this out. He looked down and bit his lip, trying hard not to laugh, knowing he was going to have to lead his own intervention so he could find out what it was about. “Are you aware that interventions can backfire and cause more problems than they attempt to solve without the help of a trained professional?”

“See, he isn’t taking this seriously.” Emma threw her napkin on the table.

“Let’s all take out our scripts,” Claire suggested.

Nick sat back and patiently waited as they took pieces of paper out of their handbags. Emma quickly glanced over her script. “Remember, let him know you love him, state the problem without placing blame, and focus on the outcome, which in this case should be him making the choice to do something about his behavior,” she whispered as if Nick couldn’t hear her. “I’ll go first and you follow my lead.”

Emma unfolded her piece and cleared her throat. “Dad, I love you,” she read. “For years, I’ve watched you always put me first, and I’ve never pressured you into finding someone because no one seemed right. You have now clearly found someone special, someone I really like, too. I can’t sit idly by as you shrug your feelings off and pretend they aren’t there. I think you should face the fact that you have feelings for Jamie and try giving a relationship with her a shot,” Emma finished. She quietly folded her paper and signaled for Susan to start.

Nick froze at the mention of Jamie’s name. He thought maybe they would try to convince him not to leave. But —

This was about Jamie?

He watched Susan unfold her little piece of paper with dread. Amusement was gone, but there was nothing he could do but play along and try to take it in stride, however uncomfortable it may be.

“Nick, we share the most wonderful gift in the world, and for that I’ll always love you.” She looked up and smiled at Emma before continuing. “For a long time, I was in love with you, even though I knew I wasn’t right for you, even though I knew you weren’t in love with me. As you know, with time, I did find love and it taught me many things. I only want the same and even better, for you. You’ve been a better parent than I have, and you deserve it even more than I do. These words aren’t easy for me to say in front of Emma, you, and Claire, and I hope you appreciate the fact that I am saying them to encourage you to face your feelings so you can give yourself the opportunity for a love that you so deserve.” Susan finished her script with tears in her eyes.

Damn it, Nick thought when he saw Emma and Claire had tears in their eyes too. What the hell had he gotten himself into? He’d been about to make it clear to them that he wasn’t going to discuss his personal life and his decisions with them, but how could he be dismissive of three tearful women? He physically braced himself for Claire’s script, wringing his hands under the table.

“Okay, my turn.” Claire let go of Susan’s hands and dabbed at her eyes with her napkin. Apparently, she’d finally forgiven Susan for making Nick’s life hell for five years. Straightening her shoulders, she shot Nick a cold stare. This little speech would be different.

“I’m skipping the ‘I love you’ part because you know you are more than a son to me. Frankly, I’m becoming increasingly annoyed by how completely blind you are
choosing
to be when — ”

“No, no, remember, no blaming or resentment,” Emma interrupted.

“I’m sorry, Emma. I’m too old to tiptoe around things.” She began folding her piece of paper again and again in annoyance. “Nick, you are clearly smitten with this young woman, and instead of doing something about it, you’re thinking about trotting around the globe, all alone, because at some point or another, you decided that was a good idea. Why are you being so stubborn? What do you hope to gain?” Claire ended her speech, and Nick was grateful for her anger.

Any sane man preferred anger to tears.

“Are you done now?” he asked. They all nodded and looked at him expectantly. Nick had been trying to draft a satisfactory response, but he was tired and famished, so he winged it instead. “Listen, I appreciate that you are all worried about me, and that you want me to be happy. I’ll admit I’m attracted to Jamie, but that doesn’t mean — ” Thankfully, he was interrupted by Emma signaling for him to be quiet.

The waiter had just arrived with their soups and salads, and Nick couldn’t wait to shut up and eat. But he was the only one who remained quiet as he ate.

“Listen, Nick, I saw you dancing with her, and it was breathtaking. I got goose bumps from seeing the way you two looked at each other.” Susan turned to Claire. “It was like they were lost in their own little world.”

“Oh! You should’ve seen them at the park with her kids — you know how Dad loves kids, and he just adores Michael and Timmy, I could tell. I think the five of us would make an adorable family.” Emma turned eyes chock-full of hope on him.

Nick nearly choked on his salad, but the women weren’t fazed.

“Well, I called Emma the very first day they met. You should’ve seen it — electricity everywhere!” Claire exclaimed. “And I tell you, you couldn’t slice the sexual tension with a butcher’s knife whenever they’re in a room together, it’s that thick.”

Nick pushed his chair back and just stared at them, not sure how much more of this he could take.

“Oh, Nick, Emma’s eighteen, she knows what sexual tension is,” Susan chided him, mistaking his discomfort.

“Don’t you think you’re all getting just a little bit ahead of yourselves here?” Nick tried not to sound panicked.

“Well, maybe we’re getting a little bit ahead of ourselves. Jamie does have this hang-up about letting a man into her life.” Claire sighed and took a bite of her salad.

“Right!” Someone was finally making sense, and Nick quickly jumped on that. “No matter how strong my feelings for her are, she’s made it clear she doesn’t want a relationship. I know you all have the best intentions, but your whole theory here is moot, so just take a moment to let it sink in so we can end the conversation right now and enjoy our meal, if it ever gets here.” Nick wasn’t even trying to hide his annoyance anymore.

The three women stared at him in silence.

“You have strong feelings for her.” Susan spoke first, clapping her hands together happily.

Nick looked back at her in confusion.

“You said ‘no matter how strong my feelings for her are,’ Dad, you said it!” Emma reached over and grabbed his hand.

“See, I told you.” Claire beamed at Emma and Susan. “Starvation is the key to making him let his guard down. His brain just doesn’t function normally when he’s on an empty stomach. You can motion the waiter to bring our food now,” she told Susan.

Susan motioned for the waiter.

“Now, Nick, you haven’t told us how you feel about dating a mom with two little boys. Emma says you all get along, but we’d like to get your thoughts on that, too.” Susan looked over at him.

“We know you’re not keen on starting over again, but this time it would be different.” Claire looked over at Susan and shot her an apologetic glance before saying, “This time you wouldn’t be alone.”

“Dad, you and I always had a great time together. I really can’t see you living alone.”

“How is living alone working out for you?” Susan asked.

Nick ran his hand through his hair, down the side of his face, and cupped his chin. He didn’t know what to say. At the moment, he was seriously considering taking his food to go. But truth was, he was tired of eating alone. He was tired of living alone. He missed having someone to talk to and listen to.

Soon, Susan and Emma left to go to the ladies’ room, and he and Claire were left alone.

“Seriously, Nick. How do you feel about Michael and Timmy? That’s really important.”

Nick looked into the face of the woman who, for a lifetime, had shown more interest in him than his own mother. Growing up, Grey Private Elementary had been his real home. His school friends were like brothers, and Claire his second mom. He had a sudden, aching need to air the thoughts that had been suffocating him.

Nick began, not knowing where his own words would take him. “The thought of starting over again, raising kids full time … ” He shook his head. “It’s exhausting and unfathomable. But … the idea of Emma and me intertwining our lives with Jamie, Michael, and Timmy’s lives, it takes on a different shape and form. It’s hard to explain, but I can see it and it’s not about starting over, it’s about being a family, and it’s powerful, not exhausting.”

“Jamie’s a great mom. And you’d be a great stepfather.” Claire smiled encouragingly.

“But Jamie doesn’t see us this way, Claire. It’s not what she wants. And it’s not that I’m sure, either. There are too many things at stake here for just a trial effort. The whole town knows us, I have a deep respect for her family, and I have standing here in the city. If things don’t work out, it could get messy and awkward.” Part of him wished he could just leave on his trip tomorrow and have the world fill his mind. Maybe when he came back, things would be the way they were before. Uncomplicated.

Claire looked at him with new understanding. Reaching across the table and covering Nick’s hand with her own she said, “I want so much for you; I didn’t stop to think about complications. But I guess you’re right, you’d both have to be really sure of what you’re getting yourselves into, and if she already knows this isn’t what she wants, and you’re still not sure … ” Claire’s words turned into a resigned sigh.

• • •

An hour later, Nick walked Susan to her car. “You really do look tired, Nick. Emma says you’re not sleeping well.”

“It’s hard to sleep when you’ve got a lot on your mind.”

“Like what?” Susan asked with a knowing smile.

“Like taking a year-long trip and leaving my life’s work in someone else’s hands,” Nick reminded her.

Susan pressed a button on her key chain to unlock her white BMW, but didn’t open the door.

“Nick? Can I ask you something?”

After the way he’d been ambushed inside, Nick didn’t trust her, so he just looked at her.

“Do you remember the first thing you said when Emma was born?”

He didn’t.

“You picked her up, and you were completely overwhelmed. You said you loved her so much, it was scary.” Susan’s voice was soft as she remembered. “It made me feel guilty because all I could think about was how I just wasn’t ready.”

“It was scary. In fact, it hurt. It actually, physically hurt.” Nick chuckled. “I was so afraid I was going to mess it up. She was so little, I was terrified I was going to drop her or break her. I had no idea how we were supposed to keep such a defenseless little thing alive.” He remembered the feeling perfectly.

“But then, when she was about three months old, you were an old pro and I was so inadequate.” It was Susan’s turn to smile. “There you were, taking five classes, getting up to feed her and change her at night — you completely turned your game around after having trouble at practice, and yet I was the one who was always tired.”

Nick thought about that. He’d been MVP the year Emma was born. No one could believe he was tackling so much. But he’d started the season by being completely off his game, and he blamed it on waking up in a sweat every night. He couldn’t coordinate, his movements were sloppy. Emma waking up every two hours wasn’t the problem, as long as he could just lie back down and get to sleep again. The restless type of sleep that came from having his mind active with nightmares he couldn’t even remember —
that
had been the problem.”

“Don’t you see?” Susan interrupted Nick’s thoughts.

“See what?” He tried not to look at his watch. Between hockey practice and the whole intervention nonsense, he thought he was tired enough to sleep a good twelve hours.

“Loving someone — it’s a scary thing,” Susan explained. “You loved Emma so much, you were scared of what that meant, of how you would handle it, and the anxiety kept you up at night until you figured out that you could handle it.”

“You’re trying to draw a comparison between two completely different things, Susan.”

“Well — of course they’re
different
, Nicholas. What I’m trying to say is that there’s a risk of getting hurt when you love someone deeply. It’s not an easy risk for some people to take. Think about it.” Susan was exasperated.

“All right, Susan, I’ll think about it, just not right now.”

Though it was cold, Nick buzzed his window down and let the cool air whip his face during the ride home, knowing that right now, what he needed most was to go home and get some sleep. His team had its first game against Justin’s tomorrow, and it would be Nick’s last game before leaving.

• • •

“What’s
this
?” Timmy took an old ornament out from the box, grimaced, and held it away from him with the tips of his fingers.

“Oh, that’s a snowflake Jamie made when she was about your age,” his grandmother said, her voice heavy with nostalgia.

“It looks like a giant yellow booger.” Michael frowned.

“Well, it used to be white, and it had an actual shape back when I made it — honestly, Mom, I don’t know why you keep these things.”