Charmed Life (17 page)

“Louise?” Grace hurried to catch up. “Do you have any children?”

Louise came to a screeching halt. “What the fuck kind of question is that?”

“Just wondering.”

“Do I look like the type of woman who has children?” she asked.

“I don’t know.” Grace shrugged. “I don’t know what a woman who has children looks like.”

“She doesn’t look like me and she doesn’t look like you. That’s for sure.”

“So I take it the answer is no.”

“Oh, you are a bright one.” Louise shook her head. “No wonder you got yourself in trouble yesterday.”

“How … how did you know?”

“Larson’s mom. I pick the kid up for work everyday,” Louise said. “She explained that you and special boy went joy riding in her mini van. Said they arrested you and tossed you in the slammer.”

“That’s true, they did.”

“Well, that’s about the only thing we have in common.” Louise huffed. “They strip search ya, body cavity?”

“No. They just arrested me.”

“Oh, so you served pussy time.”

Grace nearly choked. “What do you mean we have something in common? Did you go joyriding with Larson?”

“What the hell kind of idiot do you think I am? Anyone in their right mind, who doesn’t get whacko over eating bread, knows he can’t drive. What I meant was, I served time.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Hard time, too.” Louise explained as they walked. “Fifty-three years to be exact.”

“Oh my God!” Grace yelped. “Fifty-three years?”

“Yep. Got parole two years ago. That’s why I love my job, Bargain-Mart gave me a fresh start. And my time served wasn’t any cat walk. It was manual labor, bad food, solitary confinement and blow jobs to the warden.”

“You poor thing. What did you do?”

Louise stopped walking again. “Don’t call me a poor thing. I did the time. I paid the price. I killed my husband.”

“You … you were in prison for murdering someone.”

“Actually, two people. My husband and his mistress. Caught the fucker cheating on me. He was working late, I was bringing him his dinner, feeling bad for the asshole, I walk in. There they were. Him and his mistress doing the deed on his desk.”

“Oh my God. I would have freaked. Did you just go crazy, what?”

“Why you asking?”

“Curious.” Grace shrugged. “It’s the writer in me.”

“You ain’t gonna write a book on me are you?’

“Not unless you want me to.”

“Hmm.” Louise tipped her chin. “I’ll think about it. Anyhow, what did you ask me?”

“If you went nuts and just killed them.”

“Yeah, eventually.”

“Eventually?” Grace asked.

“Yeah, I should have done it right then. Probably would have gotten out twenty years earlier. But I was so pissed, I went home. He never knew I was there and I plotted. Got a gun, waited until he called me to say he was gonna be late, I went to his office, caught them together again, and blew both their fucking brains out.”

Grace gasped.

“But I’m reformed. I’m a Christian now. And there’s Larson.”

Grace’s eyes widened when she saw Larson duct taped to the register.

“Whacha gone and done this time, boy?” Louise asked, and smiled to Joe behind the desk. “Thanks, Joe.”

“No, problem, he was trying to run again.”

Louise grabbed the edge of the tape that went across Larson’s chest and arms. “You have to stay with us. You can’t wander, you hear?”

Rip.

Larson screamed.

Rip.

Larson screamed again, and when he was free, ran to Grace.

“It’s Ok,” Grace hugged him.

Louise pulled Larson away. “Don’t coddle the boy, for Christ sake.”

“Sorry.”

“Ladies!” Chip called out. “I see you got Larson.”

“Found him,” Louise said. “He’s getting tough.”

“I know.” Chip nodded. “Well, you two bright spots are just the gals I’m looking for.”

Louise raised her eyebrows. “Bright spots. Gals? You ain’t hitting on us Chipster are you?”

“No. No, I …”

“Not wanting us to do some perverted sex act in the back?” Louise asked. “Because remember, I turned lesbo last year.”

“Yes, Louise,” Chip nodded. “Your girlfriend makes it very easy for us to remember you changed your sexual orientation. But I’m here because I have great news.”

“What is it?” Louise asked.

“The greeter position is now open. Training starts … now.” He looked at his watch. “For a few hours, then tomorrow full time.”

Louise jumped. “Hot dog! I’m it!”

“Actually …” Chip closed one eye. “I was thinking of making Grace a door greeter.”

Louise snarled. “Her?”

Grace cringed.

“Fine,” Louise snapped. “I’ll blow you for it.”

With a wince, Chip shook his head. “No, Louise, that’s …” he sighed out. “I just thought Grace would be a great greeter.”

“Why?” Louise asked.

“Because she’s pleasant and doesn’t smoke on the floor.”

“I can hold off smoking.”

Grace raised a hand. “Chip, I really don’t want to be a greeter. I really want to work the floor for a while.”

“But that would put you with Larson,” Chip said. “You’d have to be responsible for him.”

“I can do that, I like Larson.” Grace smiled.

“Ok, fine.” Chip raised his hands and let them fall to a slap to his thighs. “Louise, go ahead up front.”

“Hot Dog!” She skipped and jumped and started walking away. She stopped. “Does this mean I still have to blow you?”

Wincing again, Chip shook his head. After Louise was gone, he looked at Grace. “Did you really not want to be a greeter?”

“She wanted the job and I want peace. Somehow …” Grace exhaled. “I have a feeling it wouldn’t happen if I took that job.”

“Understand. OK, I’m gonna put you on Go-backs today.”

Grace nodded, she didn’t mind doing go-backs. It was backward shopping, where she and Larson would return the merchandise to the shelves. “Works.”

“If we run out of go-backs, I’ll .. I’ll put you on cart duty.”

Grace nodded.

“There are six carts up front,” Chip said. “I’ll check on you later.” Just as he stepped forward, he snapped his finger. “Almost forgot.”

“What’s that?”

Chip reached into his back pocket. “Larson’s mom stopped by, signed the consent forms, and gave us this.” It was the type of swirling, stretchable chord found on a telephone. Expandable, and red. On one end was a Velcro wristband, the other a latch. “Just put this one end on your wrist, the other on his belt.” He handed it to Grace.

“What is it?” she asked.

“A child leash.”

Chip walked away.

Grace just stared at the item and spoke aloud. “I have to walk Larson on a leash?”

+++

Freddy puckered his lips, and ran his hand over his jaw with a perplexed expression. “Lesbian, you say?”

“Lesbian,” Grace said, her arm shooting out to the side.

“Our Louise?”

“Yep.” Grace nodded. “Told me today. Well, she told Chip after she thought Chip wanted sexual favors in the back room.”

“Off of Louise?”

“So she thought.”

“I don’t think Chip has sex.”

Grace shrugged, her arm shot out to the side.

“Wow, Louise is a lesbian. This shocks me. I didn’t think there was such a thing as old Lesbians. Especially ones that old.”

“Why?” Grace laughed.

“I don’t know. Maybe too much ingestion of Estrogen causes early death.” Freddy shuddered. “Dear Goodness, if the skin hangs off her face like it does can you imagine what her…”

“No, stop. Bad visual.” Grace shuddered and bodily tripped to the left. She regained her footing. “But the lesbian thing is not the worst of the secrets I found about our Louise.”

“Tell, do tell.”

“She …” Grace sailed sideways again, stumbled and stood up straight. “She told me…”

“Stop.”

“What?”

“Give me that.” Freddy undid the Velcro wristband from Grace’s hand. “We’ll settle this while we talk.” He took the leash, walked to the pillar in the center of his section, and secured Larson there. “Stay.”

Larson ran outward to Freddy, only made it so far, and proceeded to run in place with his hands in the air.

“Continue,” Freddy said.

“Thanks, Freddy. Wow my arm is really sore.” She shook her arm.

“You have to take control of him, not he of you,” Freddy said. “Obviously this is an ongoing problem with Larson if his mother dropped off a leash. I wonder why she left him alone at the Gazebo.”

“Maybe he only wanders in Bargain-Mart.” Grace shrugged. “So check this out. Louise was in prison for fifty-three years.”

“Yikes!” Freddy peeped. “Wait. No.”

“Yes.”

“That’s my life expectancy.”

“Yes.”

“For what?” He asked.

“Murder.”

Freddy gasped.

“Double murder.”

He gasped again.

“Premeditated double murder.”

“And they let her out?” Freddy asked. “Oh, no wonder she frightens you. I’d be fearful for my life.”

“Tell me about it. She has those eyes, I know she’s plotting my death.”

“Probably, princess, probably.” Freddy sighed out.. “Oh, look, there’s Bobby’s father.”

Grace looked over her shoulder.

Clyde walked into the store. He wore a tan, waist length jacket, with his hands in his pockets. He stopped and looked at Larson, who still ran.

“Who tied that boy to the pole?” Clyde asked.

Freddy raised his and. “That would be me. I had to. He’s supposed to be attached to Grace, but the poor thing needed a break before her arm suffered cartilage damage.”

“Oh.” Clyde nodded.

“Welcome to Freddy’s Fashion Frenzy, Mr. Dawson. How can I help you dress today?”