Chapter Eleven
The hole was deep and black, with tinges of gray on the perimeter. He wondered what it meant. Where was he? How did he get here and why couldn't he move? He struggled to remember. He had to move. Lily said he had to move. He longed for his mother. She would know what he should do. He called out and waited.
Mom! Mom, can you hear me? I need you, Mom. Will you help me, Mom? Hold out your hand and pull me out of here. Please, Mom.
I can't, son. If I take your hand, you won't be able to go back. You have to stay where you are. Everything will be fine. This just isn't the time for me to reach out for your hand. When that time does come, I'll be here waiting. There are a lot of people waiting for you. Help is coming. Just be patient, Mattie.
You only call me Mattie when I'm sick. Is that why I'm in this big black hole?
Yes, Mattie, you're sick. I want you to dig way down deep and tell yourself over and over that you're going to get well. You have to believe, Mattie. Can you do that for me?
Sure, Mom. Hey, Mom, did I ever tell you I still have those sneakers you bought me. The ones Dad said cost too much. The right one has a big hole in the toe. I wear them everywhere. I even put some of that electrical tape on the sole because it has a hole in it. I'm never giving up those shoes. Dennis told me he saw you at the pawnshop selling your watch. That night you gave me the sneakers before I went to bed. You told me to scuff them up and make them a little dirty so Dad wouldn't know you bought them for me. I went out in the middle of the night and tramped through the garden and the wet grass. I did what you said. Tell me how to get out of here, Mom.
Do you see the gray edges around the hole, Mattie?
Yeah, Mom, I can see them. What does it mean?
Gradually the gray edges will move to block out the black area. When that happens you'll be able to get out of the hole.
Is that for true, Mom?
Mattie, I never, ever lied to you. I want you to close your eyes and sleep. When you wake up the black hole won't be as dark. Go to sleep now. I'll watch over you until you climb out of the hole.
Thanks, Mom. I love you.
I love you, too, Mattie.
He woke from time to time to see his mother's smiling face, and she would always point to the gray border surrounding the dark hole. When he finally opened his eyes wide a long time later all he could see was bright sunshine. His mouth was thick and fuzzy and his eyes felt like they had a hard crust all over them. He knew where he was, but he didn't know how he knew.
“I think I'd like a cold beer,” he said in a voice he didn't recognize as his own.
“You would, would you? Oh, Matt, you're awake. Hey, everybody, Matt's awake,” Lily shouted.
They came on the run, nurses, doctors, Dennis, and Sadie. “He wants a cold beer,” she said, happiness ringing in her voice.
“Everyone clear out, we need to check our patient,” the doctor said. “Welcome back, Matt,” he whispered. “You had us a little worried there for a while. How do you feel?”
“Like someone slammed me against a brick wall. Was that Dennis I just saw?”
The doctor leaned over and whispered in Matt's ear. “So, Mr. Wagner, do you think you're up to a little solid food?” he asked for the nurse's benefit.
“Only if you bring a beer to go with it.”
“I think that can be arranged. Lie still now, I want to check the dressing on your foot and take your vitals.”
“How long have I been here?”
“A little over ten days. We're going to get you up later on. Don't expect too much. You're pretty weak. The trip to the bathroom will exhaust you.”
“Don't forget the beer, Doc. Listen, let me ask you something. Now you've known me a long time. You know I'm pretty levelheaded for the most part. I saw my mother. She talked to me. Was I hallucinating? Was it the drugs you have me on or did I
really
see her?”
“What did she say?” the doctor asked.
“She told me the black hole had gray around the edges and when the gray grew light, I'd be out of the hole. When I opened my eyes I was here. I asked her to hold out her hand, and she said no. Does that mean if I had reached out my hand, and she'd taken it, I would have died? I need to make sense of it all.”
“I've heard of things like this before,” the doctor said. “You were right on the edge, Matt. It could have gone either way. Later, when you're up to it, Lily and Dennis will fill you in. But to answer your question, it's whatever you want it to be. I, personally, believe in these things since I've seen and heard them so often, and they're almost always identical to what you just told me. Your medication is coming right up, and I'll see that you get your beer. Your buddies want to visit. Be thankful you have such loyal friends.”
“Thanks, Doc. For everything. At the moment I don't know exactly what everything is but thanks anyway. Now, do you think I can see my dog?”
“Wait till you get my bill,” the doctor twinkled. “I'll see what I can do about Gracie.”
“That's one bill I won't mind paying.” A moment later his eyes closed, and he was asleep.
Outside in the waiting room, the doctor addressed the trio. “He fell asleep. Right now that's the best thing for him because it's a natural sleep. He could sleep for twenty-four hours, or he could sleep an hour. There's no way of telling. He's on his way to a full recovery. I think it's time for me to get back to my own practice. Matt's in good hands here. Dr. Pinell is a fine doctor. My advice is simple. Let him rest up for a couple of weeks, nothing strenuous. Lots of good food, some fresh air, and easy on the booze. Your boy is golden.”
Dennis pumped the doctor's hand vigorously. “Thanks for dropping everything and coming down. Somehow Matt will make it up to you. Have a safe trip home.”
Lily and Sadie smiled from ear to ear as they, too, shook the doctor's hand.
“I want an invitation to the wedding,” the doctor called over his shoulder. Lily smiled and nodded.
“Let's just peep in on him,” Lily said.
They jostled each other running for the door.
“He looks so white,” Sadie said.
“He looks like he lost a good ten pounds,” Dennis said.
“He looks so wonderful,” Lily said, tears misting her eyes. “He's been to hell and back, and he still looks wonderful.
Dennis reached for one of her arms and Sadie reached for the other. “We're going home now,” Sadie said. “We're going to cook dinner, then we'll come back.”
“Yeah, that's a good idea. I want to see Matt before I leave in the morning.”
Sadie's jaw dropped. “You're leaving tomorrow.”
“I have to get back. With Marcus gone, no one is minding the store. Technically, Lou Sims is in charge, but there are things I have to do no one else can do. I'll try to get back on the weekend.”
“Are you going to New York or Oregon?” Sadie asked.
“New York first. It all depends on what I find when I get back there. Eventually, I have to return to Oregon. Maybe Matt will bring you out once he's all better.”
“Are you going to call us?” Sadie demanded. “I know you're going to be calling Matt, but I mean us, me and Lily.”
Dennis shuffled his feet. “Well, yeah, sure. Uh-huh. I will. You could call me, you know.”
“I might do that. You're peeling the potatoes for dinner.”
“Why do I always have to peel the potatoes?” Dennis grumbled.
“Because Lily and I don't like to peel potatoes. You never said you didn't like to peel potatoes, so the job is yours. We do the rest. It's your turn to do the dishes, too.”
“Isn't life wonderful?” Lily sighed.
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Matt sat propped up in bed the following morning, his gaze glued to the doorway. The moment he saw her his eyes lit up. She ran to him, her arms outstretched. Tears ran down her cheeks and mingled with Matt's. “Do you forgive me?” he whispered against her hair.
“Yes, yes, yes. I have to tell you, though, that was a bad day. I sliced up my wedding dress and put my foot through the veil. I just wanted to lie down and die.”
“I'm sorry. Lily, if it wasn't for you, I never would have made it. I just want you to know that.”
“Let's not talk about any of that. It's all in the past. Where did all these flowers come from?”
“I tried to tell the candy striper they weren't mine, but she said they are. No one but you, Dennis, and Sadie know I'm here. They're probably for the guy next door. He had a bunch of boils lanced on his rear end. I heard them talking. My mother used to have flowers like this in her garden. I saw her, Lily. She talked to me. Do you think I'm nuts?”
“No, I don't think you're nuts. When I tell you my story you're going to think I'm the nutty one, but I'll do that later. The nurse said I could take you down to the lobby in a wheelchair for a few minutes. Keep the blanket on, and we'll be good to go. I wish I knew the words to tell you how much I missed you and how grateful I am that you're alive and well. I'll find the words later, okay?” Lily gave him a bone-crushing hug.
“Everything is okay, Lily. Our world is now right side up. I will never take another thing in life for granted as long as I live. Another thing, you are never going to be out of my sight ever again.”
“That sounds pretty good to me. Okay, here we go.”
The moment the elevator door slid open and the wheelchair crossed the threshold, the only thing to be seen was a black streak of lightning.
“Gracie! Hey, girl, it's good to see you. What do you have there? Jesus, it's my sneakers! Where in the hell . . .” His mouth open in amazement, the dog half-on and half-off his lap. Matt looked down to see both his sneakers, which Gracie had dropped by his feet. Lily bent over to remove his paper slippers and worked them on to Matt's feet. Gracie yipped her pleasure.
“Yeah, yeah, you can get up here. Dennis, hey, buddy, good to see you. Lift this dog up onto my lap, will you?”
The big dog wiggled and squirmed until she was comfortable before she laid her head on Matt's chest. A lump rose in Lily's throat at the way Matt caressed her head and whispered in her ear.
“I got my girl, my dog, and my sneakers. What more could a guy want?” Matt asked happily.
“Listen, I'm on my way back to New York,” Dennis said. “Business calls. I wanted to say hello and goodbye all at the same time. If you need anything, call. I'll try to get back this weekend, but that will depend on a lot of things. It's good to have you back, buddy.”
“Thanks, Dennis. I knew you'd come after me.”
“Don't thank me. Thank these two beautiful women here. In a million years I could never do what they did. Man, we carried you on a litter for twelve miles. Without them, you'd still be out there. I was worth diddly-squat. We'll talk later. I have a plane to catch.”
“I'm glad to see you're okay, Matt,” Sadie said. “I'm leaving, too. I'm driving Dennis to the airport. Do you want me to drop Gracie off at the apartment?”
At the sound of her name, Gracie snarled and growled at the same time. Matt laughed. “This dog has no plans to go anywhere. Trust me on that.”
“Okay, I'll see you back home, Lily. Don't worry about Buzz. I'll walk him for you.”
“What are you going to do about her, Matt? They don't allow animals in hospitals. I can chase down the administrator, but I don't know what good it will do. Do you want me to try?”
“Would you, Lily? I don't have the heart to send her home. If she went through half as much as I did, then she's staying right here with me. Tell him I'll build a trauma unit or a burn unit on this place if they let her stay with me. It's only for today and tomorrow. They said if I continue to improve, I could go home on Friday.”
“Are you serious about this, Matt?”
“Whatever it takes, Lily.”
Lily turned once to look over her shoulder. She smiled at what she saw, Matt's head buried in Gracie's neck, his arms secure around her huge body. He couldn't be comfortable. Gracie weighed eighty-six pounds. She probably felt like a feather to Matt.
Lily found the administration office and knocked softly. She didn't know what she expected but the cramped, cluttered office wasn't it. Nor was the man, a small, chubby individual with a harried look and worried eyes. She presented her case in a straightforward manner and waited while the little man absorbed all she had said.
“The welfare of our patients always comes first, Miss Harper. If the dog is as important to Mr. Wagner as you say, then I have no problem with the dog staying in his room. I was apprised of his condition the moment he was brought in. I won't downplay the problem that occurred earlier either, and I have no desire to deal with lawyers. It's not necessary to bribe me, Miss Harper.”