‘Make it wet,’ he says softly. ‘Make it wet and make it hard. And then maybe we’ll find somewhere to put it.’
I lick his salty richness, tasting the burning silky skin like it’s precious. I swallow him a little way, thrilling to the slight sounds he makes as I do it, his shallow breathing and the rasp of his fingers on the sheet as he grips the mattress.
‘Enough. Now get back up here.’ His quiet commands make me pulse as he directs me to kneel on all fours and grip the bed head. With my thighs wide apart he kneels behind me and stoops to kiss my butt cheeks, first on one side then the other. His lips burn but his breath cools my glowing skin.
All at once I feel his tongue on my splayed places, shamefully open to the air. I shudder again and now his tongue plunges deep, repeatedly searching out my aching, swollen little bud and teasing it without mercy.
I cry out for sheer joy and get a harsh, stinging slap on my rump.
‘
Quiet
. And keep still. I want to watch this.’
Watch
it? He starts to examine me with soft, probing touches of his fingertips and tiny brushes of his lips, trailing light, specific kisses along my most private and hidden places. My swollen, pulsing little folds are already twitching with overload, so excited I can barely feel them.
‘You’re so beautiful down there, Ella. Ripe as a peach.’
I whimper as he kneels up to caress me, his hands cool on my glowing backside.
‘Hush, easy. Hold still. Store the energy.’
His low voice becomes a mantra as I struggle to obey, to reach the nirvana he wants me to find with this weird ritual thing, his voice low and soothing like I’m some nervous animal being tamed.
The throbbing down below is made worse by his slow, patient fingers as he revives all my quivering nerve endings with long, low sweeps of his hands over my tingling, sparkling body. All at once I feel him prod at my opening, his hot shaft a burning, solid reminder of his love and his power.
‘Please, please, this is torture …’
‘I know.’ I hear him laugh softly way overhead and now I feel the heat of his body as he stoops low to kiss the small of my back, pooling with sweat as I struggle to comply with his demands.
‘Is this what you want?’ And all at once, with a blissful surge of heat and muscle, he slams into me, pulls away slowly and thrusts again. I cry out as I jerk against the bedhead, my rigid arms aching now under his onslaught.
He reaches round to feel me where it matters most. With two long, pincer-like fingertips he seizes my hard little nub from behind and squeezes hard. A soft explosion erupts inside me and finally my spasms punch holes in his control. I feel a swell of heat in my belly and we come together in a medley of shrieks from me and grunts from him that end in a cascade of laughter.
Later he curls around me, but as sleep steals over me I feel his breath in my ear.
‘I’m leaving tomorrow.’
I’m already floating, soft and warm, as fluffy contented clouds gather beneath me. ‘Where are you going?’ I murmur, dreamily.
‘Can’t say. I’ll be a while.’ He makes it sound far, far away …
My eyes snap open. ‘How long?’
He nuzzles into my back, his voice muffled. ‘No idea. If you need me call my PA.’
I sit up. ‘Can you at least tell me where you’re going?’
‘No.’
‘Why not? You still won’t trust me?’
He unwinds his arms and flicks on the lamp. All at once I notice how sharp his cheekbones have become, how hollow his jawline. I watch in dismay as he slips out of bed and towers over me, his eyes glittering.
He leans down with one hand on the bedrail, his face close to mine. ‘It’s nothing to do with trust. I’m off-radar because the business I’m pitching is supposed to be secure and the people I’m pitching it to will test all my contacts to see just how secure it is. So no calls, no texts, no café-chat about me to my relatives. That’s how it is. That’s how I work.’
He tilts up my chin and kisses me on the lips in a long, gentle farewell. His brutal tone warned me he’s torn about this.
Now his soft, lingering kiss tells me he’d far sooner stay.
Contrite, I kiss him back.
His loving look is ample reward. ‘Now get some sleep.’
In mid-November it turns cold. The pretty part of the fall is over and now the skies turn leaden and fog blows in off the sea. Soon it will snow.
I try to lose myself in work. Afterwards I hang out with friends over a beer and talk cheerful nonsense. I smile as I split the check with Billy in coffee shops and restaurants.
Underneath I’m raw with grief, lonely and aching. My lover is gone, my bed is empty. I’ve no idea when I’ll see him: tomorrow? Next week? Next month? If he’s trying to make me safe it’s the surest way to drive me insane. Without him I’m incomplete.
I prowl his rooms, bury my head in his pillow. It’s all I have left of him – that and the echo of his last words as he left me soft and warm in bed, my breasts and my lips still moist and tingling from his kisses, his last words echoing round my head.
‘It’s safer this way, Ella. You’re all I’ve got.’
One evening I get a call from Dodie, the harassed young mom I first met in the summer at Camp Akela. I ask politely after her husband Joel and enquire about Emily, her frail toddler.
I can almost see Dodie’s tense, anxious face crinkle up with love and freckles as she assures me Emily’s fine.
‘Looks like she’ll see another Christmas, anyway. So that’s a blessing. In this household we don’t look too far ahead. We were wondering – that is, if you’re not going to your family – how you’re placed for Thanksgiving? If you could possibly make it to us we’d love to have you …’
She tails off so shyly my heart softens. I murmur I’ll get back to her.
An hour later I find my parents have a prior invitation they’ve already half-accepted in case I’m doing some high-flying thing with Darnley’s people or my college friends. So I call her back and say I’ll come.
She sounds so pleased I feel tears well up, touched by this kindness in strangers when I need some so badly.
Thanksgiving dawns bright and cold. I’m busy all day but by late afternoon my marking’s finished and it’s time to go. I choose a close-fitting dress with a white Peter Pan collar, neat and prim. To make it more special for evening I pile up my hair and add demure pearl earrings.
Bullen drives me across town to the quiet little suburb where Joel and Dodie live.
Their apartment is small, very clean and filled with the glorious aroma of roasting turkey. I pick my way through the toys still scattered in the hall. Little Emily is settling down for bed and playing happily with a new outsize teddy, still dangling labels. She gives me a cheerful wave as I look in.
Dodie’s pleased with my gifts – a box of her favourite chocolates and an elaborate cake for dessert. She takes my coat, leads me through to the dining room and clears her throat. ‘We have another dinner guest this evening. You’d better say hello while I go fix some drinks.’
As I walk into the small dining room I catch my breath as the other guest turns to greet me. He’s tall, elegantly tailored and stunningly familiar. When our eyes lock his face creases into a faint, sardonic smile of greeting that sends a tremor all through me.
Darnley.
Dodie looks from me to him and back again and turns a little pink. ‘He wanted to surprise you.’ She clears her throat. ‘Guess I’ll give you two a minute.’
As the door closes softly behind her I launch myself into his arms. Our hug is brief, our kiss light but full of meaning. As we pull away he slips a finger under the edge of my pristine collar. ‘What’s this? The librarian look?’
I press back a demure smile. ‘I wasn’t expecting to run into the big bad Wolfe.’
He grins. ‘Well, too bad, little Red Riding Hood. You just did.’ His eyelids lower as he tilts up my chin. ‘And just you wait till I get you home.’
Dinner is delicious. Before we eat Dodie bows her head to say grace while Darnley and I gaze at each other over the table, our hearts full. For me it’s more than Thanksgiving, it’s a miracle.
Dodie’s a good cook and she’s gone to town. After lavish helpings of turkey and vegetables she brings in my cake for dessert. Joel’s generous with the wine and we all get merry. I learn that with the Kraik thing looming Joel has offered to represent Lola Forman and, if it comes to it, Darnley.
Later Darnley and Joel go into the study to talk. As they go I strain to catch Joel’s low murmur.
‘The way I see it, the Kraik people must figure Lola Forman’s been put up to this by a rival company. They’re coming down hard for commercial injury so they can flush them out and find out who it is.’
Darnley’s response is low, his tone grim. ‘I heard their sales figures are down.’
Joel’s excited. ‘Exactly. If we’re looking at a corporate battle this could run into millions, last for years. It has to be that. Otherwise Lord only knows what the Kraik people are at. Defamation per se, with the defamed already deceased? A big corporation hounding a penniless kid and his single mom? It makes no sense. Where’s their publicity division, off to the moon? If this ever gets to court the press will go nuts. We’ll wipe them all over the wall …’
As the door closes on Joel’s fighting talk I quake for Darnley. Wiping his past on a wall is the last thing he needs. Not to mention his family.
As I help Dodie clear away she gets confidential. ‘Darnley comes to us every year.’ She looks proud as she stacks the dishes. ‘It’s the only way he’ll let us thank him for everything. He always comes alone. But this year I thought maybe he’d like you here too.’ She tails off shyly. ‘I heard you were having a tough time. I hope I did right.’
I kiss her cheek. ‘I’m honoured. And it’s a real kindness.’
As usual she thinks I know more than I do. While I dry the dishes she makes coffee and jerks her head towards the study.
‘They’ll be a while. I guess you knew Joel’s offered to act for Darnley in that Kraik thing? Between you and me I think Aaron’s real mean. Joel told me when Darnley came into the office to ask for help Aaron turned him down flat. They were shouting. The whole office heard. Joel got so mad he marched right in there and said if Darnley needed help he’d stand by him. Wasn’t that brave of him? I was so proud. Wish I’d been there.’
She shakes her head sadly as she puts a small jug of cream on the tray. ‘But truth is, Joel’s real scared. We both are. If it ever gets to court it’ll be a pretty big case. And Joel – well, you know, he’s just a junior. He’s not very experienced.’
She presses her lips together and shakes her head sadly. ‘You’d almost think Aaron wanted him to lose. Darnley, his own son.’ She sniffs, picks up the tray and waits for me to open the kitchen door. ‘Sorry. I get mad every time I think about it. Shall we join the men?
We leave well before midnight, partly for some catch-up time together, but mostly because young parents need their sleep.
On the doorstep Joel shakes Darnley’s hand and lowers his voice. ‘It’ll be fine, sir, don’t you worry. We’ll give it our best shot.’
Darnley hugs Dodie briefly and then nods to Joel. ‘We’ll do that. And let’s hope it won’t get that far.’
As we settle in the car and Bullen starts the engine the young parents huddle on their doorstep, shivering as they wave us off. Darnley’s hand closes over mine as I wave back. As we pick up speed he pulls me close and we share a long, private kiss.
After a while I lean on his shoulder. ‘Is Joel really up to this? Should you hire a more seasoned attorney?’
Against my hair his jaw stiffens. ‘I will if I have to. But I’ll try to avoid it.’ He sounds grim.
‘Why? What’s the problem? Not money, surely?’
He sighs as he moves his cheek against my hair. ‘I want to keep this in the family and Joel’s the only one who’s offered. Aaron won’t spare anybody else.’ He looks away. ‘Anyway, they’re still gathering evidence. And if Lola Forman agrees to settle it may never come to trial.’ He squeezes my hand in a silent warning to drop it.
I press on. ‘And if it does?’
‘Then it does. That’s her choice. The hardest people to buy are the ones with nothing to lose.’
‘But you’ve got so much at stake. Surely a better lawyer –’
He kisses my fingers. ‘Hush, now. Don’t fret. It’s not just me – they’ve all got a lot at stake. The Formans may be branded liars. Joel’s career may bomb. But the Formans have a right to their principles – for which I have every respect – and Joel’s offered to help, even when he knows I could hire the best. It was a brave offer and a tough call for him. How can I humiliate him by turning him down?’
I gaze at him with a surge of emotion.
Dodie’s proud of her man for offering help.
I’m proud of mine for accepting it.
Indoors we fall on each other, together at last. All evening we’ve been polite and restrained, the perfect guests.
Now we tear at each other’s clothes, plunder each other’s mouths and invade each other’s landscapes. In seconds we slough off coats and scarves along with three empty, lonely weeks of endless days and nights as we cling together in a surge of heat fired by joy.
At last he pulls away and seizes my hand. ‘We’ll shock the maids. Get your pretty ass upstairs.
Now
.’ He hauls me after him, laughing. In his rooms he pushes me up against a wall and goes slow, his eyes glittering as he peels away my layers and salutes the palpitating treasures he finds beneath with long, hot kisses of greeting that make me squirm with impatience, longing to taste him again and raid his glories like he’s plundering mine.
He quickly guesses my game and pins my arms over my head, his arched brow and his slow, sardonic smile a stern warning that from now on we’re on Wolfe Time.
‘We’ve got some catching up to do, Miss Dean. Me first, then you. Deal?’
I’m panting now as his hand forces deep between my thighs, sending flame coursing through me. It tingles all over my skin and reaches right to the ends of my fingers, leaving me gasping for more of him,
all
of him. ‘Deal.’
He touches his lips to mine, teasing my lips with his tongue, darting into my mouth and out again, willing me to kiss him back as he forces my legs apart and he pulls me down the wall. He pins my hands, plunders my mouth, his hand slipping deftly over my fastenings and pushing my panties a little way down my thighs.