Chase of a Lifetime (16 page)

“Calm down,” Len said. “You have to
understand that living this way has become a way of life for me. When you live
this way for such a long time you become paranoid. I know it doesn’t sound
rational.” He made a fist and punched the steering wheel. “And, the main reason
I didn’t want you out with Cain is because I was afraid he’d be a bad influence
on you and you’d wind up forgetting about me. I know that sounds selfish, but
there you are.”

Jim sent him a sharp glance. He had a
feeling it was time Len found out Cain wasn’t as dumb and innocent as Len
thought he was. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, I missed you and I
didn’t have that much fun. It was one of the most intense nights I’ve had in a
long time. Cain and I talked about things. I wasn’t going to mention any of
this, but now I think it’s important. He told me all about his girlfriend getting
pregnant and how they are getting married. And then he told me his worst fear
was winding up like his parents.”

Len frowned. “He said that?”

“I wouldn’t lie about something like that,” Jim
said. “He told me he knows that you and Mrs. Mayfield haven’t had a happy
marriage in years. He said he didn’t want to wind up that way.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him that he couldn’t compare your
situation to his. Then I told him that his circumstances were totally different
than his parents. I never said anything about you being gay or Mrs. Mayfield
with the tennis instructor. He sounds like he’s really in love with this girl
and I wanted to reassure him that was all that mattered.”

Len sighed and said, “I guess we didn’t fool
Cain after all.”

“I’m sorry,” Jim said. “I should tell you
this, too. We went to a gay bar.”

Len sat up fast. “A gay bar? You took my son
to a gay bar. What on earth were you thinking?”

Jim laughed. “You should know better. Nobody
takes Cain Mayfield anywhere. He took
me
there without telling me where
we were going. Then he told me he knew I was gay, he was fine with it, and it
was time for me to admit it.”

“What did you do?” He seemed genuinely
surprised.

“I left him alone in the bar and ran
outside,” Jim said. “I didn’t know what to do. But I finally admitted it to him
and we talked about it. I would never have said anything if Cain hadn’t brought
it up first. But I have to admit I felt a lot better afterward. He’s not a bad
guy, Len. In fact, he’s more like you than I think you realize. I’m not sure
you give him enough credit.”

“So Cain is okay with you being gay?” Len
asked, as if this surprised him.

“Guess what?” Jim said, “My mother is okay
with it, too.”

“Your mother knows?”

Jim sat back and rubbed his eyes. The coffee
was wearing off and he felt the urge to yawn. “I came out to her this
afternoon. I had to tell her. She was asking questions about where I’ve been
going all summer. I couldn’t keep it inside any longer. And again, I feel so
much better. It’s like I’m lighter now.”

“How did she react?”

“She said the same thing Cain said. She told
me she already knew and was waiting for me to tell her.” He laughed. “Isn’t
that a kick in the ass?”

Len reached for his hand and lifted it to his
face. He kissed it and said, “Did you tell her about me?”

“No, of course I didn’t. I told her I was
going out at night with friends and left it at that. I’d never say anything
about you to anyone. It’s hard for me to support the way you live your life,
but I would never out you to anyone.” He finally yawned and rested his head
against the seat. “Will you take me home now, please? I think this has been the
longest day of my life.”

“Can I hold you for a minute?” Len asked.
“Just for one minute, and then I’ll drive you home.”

Though Jim wanted Len’s arms around him, he
considered what might happen if they embraced. “I think it would be a good idea
if you took me home now. We obviously want different things in life and neither
of us is willing to compromise. I need to know I have a future with the man I
love. Your idea of the future is sneaking around on dark roads.”

Len moved closer to Jim and rested his hand
on Jim’s knee. “I only want to hold you one more time. Is that too much to
ask?”

His voice sounded low and dejected. When Jim
glanced over and saw his adorable drooping eyes he felt a tug in his heart. So
he turned toward Len and wrapped his arms around Len’s shoulders. He stroked
the back of his head with his fingertips and said, “This is so much harder for
me than it is for you.”

Len moved forward. He climbed over the
center console, reclined the seat as far as it would go, and climbed on top of Jim.
“How can you say something like that? Can’t you see I’m in agony? You’re young
and beautiful. You’ll meet some young guy who doesn’t have any responsibilities
or cares and he’ll give you exactly what you want. You’re my last chance. I’m
thirty-eight years old and don’t know how to come out of the closet. No one
thinks I’m gay. Don’t ever, not for one single moment, underestimate how much I
love you. I didn’t think it was possible to love anyone this much.” Then he
rested his head on Jim’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

For the next fifteen minutes, they remained
this way in silence. While Jim caressed Len’s head with soft strokes, Len
rested on top of him without moving. Then at one point, Len started to kiss Jim’s
neck. Before Jim knew what was happening his legs opened and went up. There was
no use fighting it. They started to kiss so hard they had to gasp for air. For Jim,
something stronger than he’d ever known overtook his senses and left him
helpless. He couldn’t have stopped kissing Len any more than he could have
stopped breathing that night. It seemed the same way for Len as well. He kissed
Jim in a way that suggested his feelings went beyond desperation.

The passion only grew stronger; their
tongues remained locked together. Then Jim let Len take off his pants, shoes,
and socks. He allowed Len to pull his shirt over his head and then spread his
legs apart. When Jim was naked, except for the bracelet on his wrist that Len
had given to him when they’d begun their affair, he allowed Len to push him
backward so Len could bury his face between his legs. When Jim lifted his legs
higher, Len stuck out his tongue and licked the bottom of Jim’s ass. And while Jim
threw his arms behind his head and whispered for more, Len’s tongue found the
lips of Jim’s anus.

Len rimmed and probed between Jim’s legs for
a long time. When he stopped, he pulled down his zipper and reached for his
dick. He covered it with a lubed condom he found in the center console, guided
it toward Jim’s opening, and entered him without taking time to prepare Jim
with his fingers the way he usually did. He went so deep and so fast Jim
grabbed the seatbelt with one hand and the back of Len’s neck with the other.
For a moment, a burst of pain hit so hard it twisted his lips and curled his
toes.

But not for long, because the moment Len
began to slide in and out of Jim the pain stopped and the familiar friction
Len’s dick created down there returned. As the friction gradually increased, Jim
released the seatbelt and threw one leg over Len’s shoulder. His toes curled
again, and not because he was in pain. He continued to hold the back of Len’s
neck for support, nodding his head to let Len know he wanted him to continue.
Len moved forward, bending him almost in half, until Jim’s knee reached his
shoulder. His other leg remained up, with his toes pressed to the roof of the
truck. Len went as deep as he could and leaned forward to kiss him on the lips.
This time, when their tongues met, Len was in Jim’s body so far Jim felt Len’s
pubic hair against his flesh. In this position, with this much of Len inside
him, Jim felt as if they’d become one person instead of two once again.

It wasn’t the most comfortable position for
Len to climax. He couldn’t move his long legs and turn Jim around. At one
point, Len pulled out, opened the passenger door, and lifted Jim out of the
cab. He carried Jim to the back of the truck and told him to climb inside. The
cool bumper stung Jim’s bare feet. When he lifted his leg, Len gently pushed
his ass. Len followed Jim and spread out an old horse blanket. Then he told Jim
to kneel down on all fours and spread his legs. Though Len was too eager to get
undressed, this time he opened his pants and pulled them down to his knees. He
grabbed Jim’s hips and slammed into him again. It didn’t hurt like it had
inside the truck. Jim wanted to be taken again; he started to rotate his hips
and move backward.

A few minutes later, they came in this
position. Len’s pelvis moved fast; his balls banged against Jim’s body; the
truck rocked and jerked. Jim held his own erection while Len grunted and
slapped Jim’s ass. They climaxed within seconds of each other. When Len came
his upper body went forward and he grabbed Jim’s shoulders. He stopped fucking
and forced his cock as far up Jim’s ass he could get it with one hard, solid slam.
Jim’s head went back; he was used to this final, powerful thrust with Len.
There was always this strong bang followed by dead stillness. He’d learned to
plan for it and wait for it. While Len remained motionless, moaning in a soft
whisper, Jim’s head jerked and he came all over the old blanket beneath them.

A minute later, they fell forward and Len
put his arms around Jim. He set his cheek against Jim’s shoulder and said,
“I’ve missed you. I’ve missed everything about you, from the way you smell to
the way you walk.”

Jim took a breath; he spread his legs wider,
enjoying the way Len had pinned him to the old blanket. Being naked, with Len
still fully clothed, made it even sexier for some reason Jim couldn’t explain.
But he had to ask the next question. “What are you going to do about it…about
us?” He had to know there was some kind of a future for them. If there wasn’t,
what they were doing was nothing more than fucking around on the side.

Len pushed his hips forward so he would
remain inside. “I don’t know. It would be different if I’d met someone else.
But because it’s you, and because you’re Cain’s best friend, it would be a
double scandal if I came out and announced to the world I’m not only gay but
I’ve fallen in love with a guy who is my son’s best friend. I don’t know if I
can do that. I don’t know how Cain would react. And my wife would be
devastated.”

“But you told me she knows about you, and
that she doesn’t care,” Jim said. “You even said she’s having an affair with
another man. I would think she’d be relieved if anything.” When Len said things
like this, Jim had trouble taking him seriously. It reminded him of high school
when Cain used to talk him into doing things he normally wouldn’t have done on
his own.

Len laughed and rubbed his jaw. “It’s not
that simple. My wife likes our arrangement, odd as that sounds. If I admitted I
was gay in public, and that I was sleeping with you and we wanted to build a
life together, the scandal would kill her. She doesn’t
want
anything to
change.”

While Len spoke, Jim processed his words and
evaluated the situation at the same time. He’d been wondering why Mrs. Mayfield
hadn’t cared about her situation. Now he got it. “We could leave
Dallas
and not tell
anyone. You told me you could be transferred to
Los Angeles
at any time you want. I’ve been
thinking of moving to LA to work in public relations with the good friend I
told you about. We could just move out there, not tell anyone what we’re doing,
and start building our lives in secret. In LA we wouldn’t have to hide like we
do here. In time, we can come clean with everyone.”

Len kissed him and rubbed the side of his
naked leg. “I thought you said you wanted to come out of the closet and live an
open life.”

“I do,” said Jim. “I want that more than
anything in the entire world. I had no idea I’d fall so deeply in love with
you. I’m willing to compromise.”

“And you are seriously willing to make that
kind of a compromise?”

“I’m not sure,” Jim said. “I have to think
about it. When you make a decision like that you have to be prepared to live
with it. But at least in LA we could live open lives and be who we are.”

Len kissed him again and slowly pulled out
of his body. After he put his dick back into his jeans and pulled up his
zipper, he helped Jim get up from the blanket. He carried him back to the
passenger seat and watched him put on his clothes. When Jim was dressed, he
kissed him one more time and then drove him home.

It was a quiet night with a bright moon and
they couldn’t take a chance on being seen kissing on the road in front of Jim’s
house. Before Jim got out of the car, Len squeezed Jim’s hand and asked, “When
will I see you again?”

Jim frowned and glanced down at his knees.
“I’m not sure. Give me some time to think. You need time, too. We can’t think
when we’re together because all we do is make love.” As far as he could tell,
Len had basically told him that night he would never admit he was gay to his
son…or in public. From the way it sounded, Len’s wife was perfectly content to
continue living a lie. The only viable solution seemed to be sneaking away from
Texas
without
telling anyone about their situation. The only problem was Jim wasn’t sure he
wanted to live his life this way. He’d felt so good after he’d admitted the
truth to his mother and to Cain. Though he wasn’t looking forward to telling
his father, he knew he would tell him before the summer ended. Running away to
LA would be like taking ten steps backward. Sneaking around indefinitely with a
married man wasn’t much different. It meant Jim would have to compromise his
basic principles. He wasn’t sure he was willing to do this for anyone, not even
Len Mayfield.