Chased By Fire (Book 1) (9 page)

Tan rarely thought of that and wondered how she would repay her debt. Or maybe she already had and never told him about it.
 

Cobin grabbed his shoulder and pulled him off the bed. “I told your pa I’d do what I could to help with you.”

Tan nodded, swallowing the thick knot in his throat. “I’m sorry, Cobin. I shouldn’t argue with you. I know you’re just trying to help. It’s just…”

Cobin shook his head. “Don’t need to explain. Sometimes it takes time to know what you want.”

“That’s just it. I know what I want. And it’s not in Ethea.”

Cobin’s upper lip curled back in a smile. “So you know what you want?”

“I want to stay in Nor. It’s comfortable. Home. And it’s the only thing I have left of him.”
 

His voice dropped off as he said the last. He hadn’t really been able to put words to it before. Now that he had, he knew it was probably the biggest reason he didn’t want to go anywhere. Once he left, would he start forgetting the lessons his father had taught him? Would he forget how he’d learned to sense the woods around him, to listen to everything from the wind to the groaning of the trees to the sound of the animals—squirrels and birds and mice—working through the forest, to taste the scents in the air and know when deer passed through or wolves had marked the edge of the territory? Every time he walked through the forest, he felt his father. Once he left, he’d be gone for good. At least staying, he could still remember the deep way his voice sounded, the way he praised him when he got a lesson right, chided him when he forgot something simple—never too harsh. No…Tan couldn’t leave Nor.

The smile faded. “Not going to be comfortable forever, Tan. Especially if Alles stays as the manor lord. Once that boy of his takes over…”

Tan shrugged. “Could be years. And by then, maybe I’ll be ready to move on.”

“Or so settled you can’t go anywhere. Once you put down roots, gets pretty hard to walk.” He shook his head. “Trust me, best to do it while you’re young. At least then you’ll never wonder what you missed.”

“Like you?”

Cobin frowned. “I wonder all the time. It’s worth it, though, if she grows up and can have a life of her own.” Tan had never heard so much regret from Cobin before. Cobin sighed. “So are you going to take him?”

Tan shrugged. “Not much of a choice, is there?”

Cobin laughed and pushed away from the wall. “Probably not. Forget the king, you can’t risk angering your ma too much.”

Tan laughed. “Sorry I won’t be able to help you track the hounds. Tell Heller to leave one for me.”

Cobin’s face darkened. “If Incendin is after the same as the Athan, then you might be seeing more of the hounds than you’d like.” He hesitated, thoughts working across his face. “Maybe you’d like some company along the way. I could go with you. I’ve been through the passes with your father a few times. Might not have your skill with sensing, but I can be plenty useful. Your ma can keep an eye on Bal while I’m gone. She owes me that much.”

Tan laughed. “I’d like that. Not sure she will.” Cobin shrugged. “Shouldn’t be any reason the Athan wouldn’t want extra help. Especially if he really wants to move quickly.”

“And if there are hounds…”

Tan swallowed. He prayed they didn’t see hounds again. What he’d gone through the day before had been enough. At least if they faced them again, Cobin might be there. And Roine. He seemed comfortable with his sword. Not that a sword would be any better than a bow, but maybe a pack of hounds would be frightened by more of them.

“Talk to your ma before we go, Tan. Sometimes I think you forget you’re not the only one struggling.”

Cobin was right. He needed to talk to her. All she wanted was him to find something that made him happy. “I will.”

Tan found his mother sitting at the edge of town atop the low wall. A cool breeze gusted out of the north, whipping at his shirt and pants but somehow leaving her alone. The air smelled of rain and lightning, the threat of the earlier heat still hanging on. She stared into the mountains. Tan didn’t have to question to know what she thought.

“We could return,” he said as he approached. “Live in that old house again…”

She turned and smiled. Deep wrinkles at the corner of her eyes faded. Her hair, pulled tight behind her head on most days anymore, now hung loose around her shoulders the way his father had always liked it. She sighed. “Some things you can’t go back to.”

Tan looked over her shoulder, up into the lower hills. Their old home was up there, now left abandoned. Little more than three rooms and built solidly by his father, it had a warmth to it that was missing in Nor. “I could go back.”

“And do what? Spend all day hunting? With your father…”

She didn’t finish. She didn’t need to. His father was a skilled senser. Hunting came easily for him. Tan didn’t have the same skills as his father. “You were happier there too.”

She nodded and turned back to look toward the treeline. Bright silver moonlight shone down. A wolf howled distantly, the sound strangely reassuring. “I miss him.” She said it so softly that he almost couldn’t hear it.

“I think that’s why I don’t want to go anywhere,” Tan said. He climbed over the wall and sat next to her.
 

She took his hand. Her fingers felt strong and soft, but so small compared to his. At least in that he took after his father. “We have mourned him well, Tan. Now it’s time to move on.”

“Is that what you’re doing? Is that why Lord Lind treats you so well?” The words came out harsher than he intended, but she looked at him and smiled anyway.

“Lind treats me well enough.”

He noticed that she didn’t really answer. They sat in silence for a while longer. Another wolf howled, its cry low and lonesome. Tan let his eyes drift closed and listened to the trees, tracing the presence of the wolf high into the mountains. He thought of what Cobin said about the wolves and wondered who had killed them. The huge mountain wolves mostly left people alone, but when they attacked, they could be deadly. Killing three meant skill. And if someone were that skilled, they could just as well have avoided the wolves altogether. Hopefully he and Cobin could keep them away from the Incendin hounds as they made their way to the upper passes with Roine.

“Do you know him?” he asked.

She turned toward him, her face shadowed. “Who?”

“Roine. You sounded as if you knew each other.”

She blinked slowly. A debate worked across her face for a moment and then was gone, blown away by the gusting wind. “I knew him once.” She shook her head. “It was a long time ago. We were different people then.”

“Why’d he call you that name?”

She frowned.
 

“I overheard you after I left. He called you Zephra. That’s the name the Aeta Mother said, too.”

“That is a conversation for another time, Tannen.”

“Why? You want me to serve the king by leading him to the passes, why shouldn’t I know?”

She held his gaze and something changed in her eyes. “Zephra was my name once. That was how he knew me.”

Something dawned on Tan then, a thought so surprising that he wasn’t certain it could be real, but what other explanation fit? “You’re the wind shaper he sought.” He always knew she could sense the wind, but there wasn’t much use to that skill. Not like his father’s earth sensing. But shaping? That was different.
 

How could she be a shaper? How could he not have known?

She looked as if she wouldn’t answer. Then she sighed and nodded. “When I was known as Zephra, I served the king as a shaper. That was a long time ago.”

“But he said you were powerful. One of the most powerful shapers he’s ever known. How could that change?” Other questions raced through his head but he didn’t ask them, questions like how she could be a shaper and not tell him, or what it was like to shape the wind, or what could she do? Could she call up a tornado? Could she push away a storm? Some wind shapers were even said to practically fly on the wind; could she do that?

She only shook her head. “Everything changed after the war.”

“You were in the war?”

She nodded. “Your father too. We only settled after the war. Nor was your father’s home, and with the winds of Galen it always felt comforting to me.”

How could he not have known that she was a shaper? First learning that she knew the dead princess and now this? It was like he was learning a whole knew side to his mother, a side she wanted to keep from him. “Why haven’t you told me before?”

“Because it didn’t matter. That’s not who I am now. Now I’m just Ephra.”

“You’re a shaper! Why would you want to hide that?”

A sad smile twisted her lips. “For the longest time, all I wanted was to be a shaper. I struggled even catching the wind. And when called by the king, I served willingly in the war. But it changed. I couldn’t do that anymore. Nor was my reward.”

Tan couldn’t think of anything that would make him not want to be a shaper. His sensing was too weak to ever become anything more. He’d never know the power shapers possessed. But his mother…she was a shaper and chose to abandon it. “What could change that would make you want to give up shaping?”

She squeezed his hand. “We had you.”

He didn’t say anything for a long moment. “Is that why you want me to go to the university? Do you think I could be a shaper?” In spite of how he felt about leaving Nor, the idea still gave him a slight thrill. Could he eventually learn to hone his weak earth sensing, turn it into something stronger? Could he become a shaper?

“I always knew I could shape. The wind called me when I was barely seven. It took years before I learned to control it. Some learn later in life. Rarely at your age.”

It was a long way of telling him no. Tan wondered why he felt a hint of disappointment.

“There is more to the university than simply learning how to become a shaper. The Great Mother gifted you as a senser. Your father did what he could to teach you to use that gift, but there are others even more skilled than he who could teach you much more about earth sensing.” She sighed again. “But it’s more than that. Had he not died, we still would have wanted you to go to Ethea. You’ve lived your entire life in Nor. There is more to this world than what you’ve seen. After gaining that perspective if you decide to return, then you won’t ever wonder what else you might have missed.”

It was the same argument they’d had countless times since his father died. Only now he knew she was a shaper. That changed things for him somehow. “Do you miss shaping the wind?”

“Sometimes,” she admitted. “It’s been so long that I can’t even call it consistently. That’s how it is with wind shaping.”

“If I go,” he started, not really thinking he would ever see Ethea, “would you come with me?”

She patted his hand and sighed. “That’s a journey you must take on your own. If I were to go with you, I’d only hold you back. You can’t worry about your mother when you’re studying at the university.”

Tan sensed there was more. “You don’t want to go back to Ethea.”

She smiled. “It’s been so long since I’ve been in Ethea that I’m not sure I do. I’m a different person now. Not the shaper I was when I last was there. Everything would be different for me.”

Tan nodded. “And Roine? Who was he when you were there?”

Some of the softness to her face faded. “It doesn’t matter who he was then. It matters who he is now. And he’s Athan to the king. He speaks with his voice.”

“That’s not how you knew him.”

She shook her head. “No. He went by a different name then. But as Athan, you need to lead him where he needs to go as quickly as possible. After that, you can decide what you’ll do. Stay or go on to Ethea. If you stay, you’ll have to begin thinking about what you will do next. You can’t stay living in the servants’ quarters. Lind has allowed it for this long, but I doubt he will permit it forever. Serve your king now, but prepare for a decision.”

Tan nodded slowly. “I will help Roine.”
 

He sensed she wanted him to say more, but he wasn’t willing to. Not to commit to going to Ethea as she wanted. That meant serving the king. But suddenly the idea of staying in Nor became less appealing. What would he do if he stayed?

She stood and pulled him into a tight hug. “Travel safe, Tan. If Roine is right and Incendin seeks the same item as him, there could be more danger than you know.”

“I’ll bring my bow.”

She smiled and nodded. “That’ll be good. But always listen. Trust the lessons your father taught you. If something seems amiss…run. Don’t try to fight off the hounds on your own.”

There was a weight to her words. “You’ve faced the hounds before.”

She flicked her eyes toward the mountains and nodded. “They are dangerous. Like so much else in Incendin, they are deadly. Bred to hunt and kill. Don’t try to face even one.” She took his hands. “And if their masters appear, do all you can to escape.”

“Their masters?”
 

She shook her head and smiled. “A warning is all. As far as I know, the barrier still stands. Roine would have said if it were otherwise.”

Another low howl echoed high up in the mountains. It ended abruptly.
 

Tan listened for it to return, sensing the forest, but the distance was too great for him to hear anything other than silence.

After what had happened yesterday, it was the silence that worried him.

Morning came quickly.

After the conversation with his mother, Tan rested little that night. He tossed and turned, dreams of his mother shaping interrupting his sleep. At one point he awoke in a cold sweat, wondering why she hadn’t been summoned for the king instead of his father. Another question for later, he realized.
 

A soft knock on his door woke him from sleep. He stumbled out of bed and pulled it open. Roine looked back at him, his deep blue eyes crisp and alert. His silver hair was slicked back atop his head. The short sword hung at his side. A tightly packed bag was slung over one shoulder. He studied Tan for a moment before realization dawned on his face.