Chasing a Dream (13 page)

“Look at me, Tess,” he whispered.

She obeyed, though her eyelids were heavy. As he entered her, his blue gaze penetrated her, reached for her soul, and branded her heart. Once he was buried deep inside her body, he kissed her softly and whispered, “You’re free of him. Don’t ever look back. You belong with me now.”

He withdrew then slid back inside, moving slowly, stroking her, encouraging the pulsing beat that promised her the height of ecstasy. She lifted her hips and joined him in a motion that bound their bodies in an age-old rhythm.

“Oh, Tess. Sweet Tess.” Increasing the tempo, he boosted the sweet harmony of their fusion.

She clutched his shoulders and closed her eyes as he carried her higher, further into a state of unbelievable bliss until oblivion enfolded her. When she opened her eyes and lifted a stunned and dreamy-eyed gaze to his, Justin’s eyes still held her with a loving warmth and encouragement. He flashed her a sultry grin, then with a final deep thrust, he joined her in a shuddering release. His body shook, and he drew her tightly against his chest as he sucked in deep breaths in the aftermath of his climax. He pressed his lips to the top of her head then tipped her chin up so that he could cover her face with tiny, butterfly kisses.

“Sweet Tess. My Tess,” he murmured as he held her.

That should have been the end of it according to Tess’s experience. But Justin’s gentle caresses, the soft, warm press of his lips, the whispered endearments didn’t cease. He continued to lull, to comfort, to thrill her well into the night. He made love to her again, brought her to the heights of ecstasy and always, always treated her to the loving tenderness and respect that shone in his eyes. As Tess fell asleep that night, her body was sated, and she was wrapped in the safety and heat of Justin’s protective arms.

But her heart ached with a searing regret. While Justin had given her a memory she would cherish for the rest of her life, she had put a price on his head. As her lover, Justin became Randall’s enemy number one. She could delay the inevitable no longer. One way or another, she had to break free of Justin.

Tomorrow.

CHAPTER
NINE

The room was warm. Actually, stifling better described it. Justin had guessed the run-down, rat-hole motel wouldn’t have a decent air conditioner, but considering he’d imposed on Tess’s good will and generosity, he had no right to gripe. At least he’d had a bed to sleep in last night.

The stirring of the soft body beside him brought his gaze down to the face, flushed pink from the heat, that rested on his shoulder. Pressing a light kiss to Tess’s clammy forehead, he sighed.

He wondered how she would feel this morning about what had happened between them last night. Although he hadn’t regretted a minute of it, he wasn’t the one fleeing an abusive jerk. He wasn’t the one whose self-esteem had been so pounded by a thoughtless bastard that she believed herself a whore.

Their lovemaking could prove to reinforce that idea in her mind. He’d have to be certain that by morning’s light, she didn’t beat herself up over what, to him, had been an exquisite and moving experience. As he reflected on the evening they’d spent together, one thing stood out, one thing besides the earth-shaking sensation of completion he’d felt when he joined their bodies. Even before he’d touched her, even before she’d caught his jeans and stopped him from walking back to his guitar, he’d sensed a unique connection with her. Her unconditional belief in his eventual success in Nashville, her unfailing support and faith in his ability to see his dream to fruition, fed a hunger inside him. She alone shared his vision, his confidence in his talent.

Except for Becca.

He’d wanted success to cover some part of his liability for letting Rebecca down with Mac. Guilt and a determination to make Becca proud fueled his mission, his goal of recognition in Nashville. Tess made him believe, really believe, it was possible. Her eyes had glowed with admiration while she watched him play his guitar.

When she let down the protective guard that held her at bay, he glimpsed the depth of her trust and confidence in his promise to protect her, too. Her unspoken faith in his capabilities as her guardian chipped away at his doubts and his compunction over his failure with Becca. His heart filled with affection for the woman who’d encouraged him and renewed his conviction to make up for his past mistakes.

And then they’d shared a night of unbelievable passion and mind-blowing sex. Had he ever really loved Amy the way he thought he had? She’d never given him the same feeling of wholeness, the inspiring support or unqualified faith that Tess did.

But whatever it was he felt for Tess, one inescapable fact remained. He couldn’t get emotionally involved with her. As easy as it would be to convince himself he was falling in love with her, he could never give her what she needed or deserved in a relationship. He was bound to break her heart, and he couldn’t live with that fact.

She needed someone who could provide her the security and peace of mind her life with her husband had lacked. He lived life by the seat of his pants. In the past, when he did accept responsibility in some form, he had never followed through. Rebecca had suffered from his failure. Amy had drifted away from him due to his lack of commitment. He’d left college to help Rebecca, quit his construction job to chase a dream, and had barely enough money to make it to Nashville.

No, he was not the kind of man Tess needed complicating her life. Once he saw her safely hidden away where her husband couldn’t hurt her, his sense of honor dictated that he part company with Tess. She needed someone she could depend on for the long haul. His track record proved him unreliable. Stubborn, yes. Determined, definitely. But more often than not, a disappointment in the long term.

Tess’s hair tickled his arm, drawing him out of his musings. When he brushed it back behind her ear, her eyelids fluttered, and she peered up at him with sleepy, hazel eyes.

“Mornin’,” he drawled, tugging one side of his mouth up in a lazy grin.

The pink in her cheeks darkened, and her eyes widened a fraction. Shutting her eyes again with a wince, she rolled away from him and tugged the sheet up around her, despite the humid heat in the room.

He turned on his side, propping himself on his elbow and running a finger down Tess’s spine. She shivered.

“Tess?” He lifted her hair and kissed the side of her neck. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”

“It’s hot in here.”

“You noticed that too, huh? I was hoping it wasn’t just me.”

“What time is it?”

“Why?” He leaned over her to nuzzle her cheek. “You have somewhere to go?”

Tess angled her head to look at him. “No, I—”

Justin’s kiss cut her off.

“Good. Then we have time to play some more before we get up.” Though he playfully tweaked her nose, he monitored her expression carefully.

“Justin . . .” Her eyes grew serious and dark.

“Tess,” he returned and laid a finger across her lips. “Please don’t feel bad about what happened last night.”

“I don’t. Not really, but Randall—”

“Is in the past. You left the sonofabitch, remember?”

“It’s not as simple as that. If he found out about you, he’d be so angry. He’s very possessive.”

“Last night you said you two had never married. He holds no claim on you. Unless you still love him.”

Tess sat up, hugging the sheet to her chest. “No. I’ve never loved him. That’s not the point.”

Raking his hair away from his face, he sat up as well and faced Tess. “What is your point? What’s wrong?”

When she looked at him, tears puddled in her eyes, and Justin’s heart wrenched.

“You don’t understand about Randall. He has a lot of power. If he found out what we did last night, he’d . . .” Tess shuddered. “Last night was a mistake. A big mistake. You should leave. Forget you met me, and don’t tell anyone about—”

“What?” He blinked his disbelief then laughed. “Are you serious? I’m not going anywhere, babe.”

“Justin, he’ll kill you!”

“I’m not scared of Randall, Tess. Not that I plan on meeting him. I mean, isn’t that the point? Getting you away from him?”

“He’s looking for me, though. And if he finds me, if he knew about you, if—”

“If, if, if. Tess, honey, if he does find you, I’m gonna be right by your side. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Her face wrinkled with distress. “Justin, Randall is evil. He’ll kill you. He already wants me dead.”

Drawing her into his arms, he lay back on the bed, holding her close. “I know you’re frightened, honey. But
I promise
I won’t let him hurt you ever again.” With a finger under her chin, he tilted her face up and kissed her damp cheeks. “Okay?”

Taking her silence as acquiescence, he hugged her tighter. “Now, do you want to make love again and then find something for breakfast, or do you want to eat first and then come back to the room to make love again?”

She pushed up on an arm and regarded him with an incredulous expression.

He flashed her a mischievous grin and wiggled his eyebrows. “I don’t know about you, but I vote for before and after breakfast.”

Tess’s brows knitted in a mask of concern and heartbreaking sorrow that wiped the smile from his face.

“Tess, he’s not going to get near you. I swear. You trust me, don’t you?”

Her eyes closed slowly, and she nodded. Once again, her confidence in him caused a star-burst of warmth to explode in his chest. Justin plowed his fingers into her hair and captured her face between his hands. The kiss he placed on her mouth merely brushed her lips, but she answered with a soft whimper as she fell against him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He kissed her again, more fully, intending to reassure her with his slow and gentle patience. Even if he couldn’t stay with her once she was finally safe, he could spend the time until that day giving her the tenderness and pleasures that her husband had denied her.

But having her pliant body pressing against his made restraint difficult. When he parted her lips with his tongue, her tongue greeted his and tangled with it. From there, patience was forgotten. She made love to him with desperation and urgency, and he lost himself in the sweetness of her kiss, her lush body, her welcoming warmth.

Later, they languished in each other’s arms, the sheet tangled around their legs. Sweat rolled from their skin.

Justin breathlessly sang the refrain of a recent country hit that compared being in love to eating melting ice cream and the rush of swerving around a cow in the road.

Tess peeked up at him and chuckled. “What?”

“Diamond Rio.” He chucked her under the chin. “Great song.”

Tess looked skeptical.

“Ah, darlin’, if you give me half a chance, I’d open the doors for you to a world of steel guitars and honky-tonks.”

“Sorry, I didn’t bring my passport. You’ll have to make that trip alone.” She cracked a grin.

Instead of answering her quip, he ran his gaze over her perspiration-slick body. “Do you realize that as sweaty as we are, we have no way to bathe? Unless you want to take your chances with the muddy water.”

She grimaced. “Ugh.” Catching a bead of his sweat as it trickled across his chest, Tess sighed. “Oh, well. At least we’ll stink together.”

“I’m starved. Let’s go rustle up some grub, pilgrim,” he said in his best John Wayne voice.

“I knew you were a cowboy!” Tess giggled, and the happy sound resounded in his heart.

He swatted at her bottom as he kicked free of the sheets and strolled over to his backpack to find a clean pair of briefs. After putting on his underwear, he paused by the pitiful excuse for an air conditioner and flipped open the control panel.

“Tess!” He scoffed. “We’ve been sweltering all night because all you turned on was the fan!” Jabbing the button marked “cool,” he sighed when chilly air rushed out of the vent at his feet. “If I had known that you . . .”

He swallowed the rest of his admonition when he faced her and saw the color drain from her cheeks. His gut knotted when he realized what he’d said and the tone he’d used.

“Oh, man, Tess, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean . . .” He huffed in self-disgust and pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d screwed up again, proof positive why he could never make Tess happy over the long haul. Raising his eyes to her, he saw the tint returning to her face. “Forgive me, please.”

He stepped over to her and folded her in his arms. “Tess, I’m so sorry for yelling. You made a simple mistake. Don’t worry about it.”

She pulled away from him, giving him a leery, appraising once-over. A flare of anger burned in his chest for the man who’d intimidated Tess until she learned to suppress her emotions. But more than anything, he swam a flood tide of frustration with his own thoughtless mouth. He’d always been too quick to speak, prone to trigger responses that drove his family nuts.

“Don’t withdraw again.” He held his hand out to her, and his tone pleaded softly. “Please. You don’t have to hide your feelings from me. I want to hear you yell back if that’s what you feel like. Come on, I can take it.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. Forget it.”

“Tess . . .”

“Just forget it. It doesn’t matter.” Turning her back, she walked away.

“It
does
matter. Retreating won’t solve anything. I don’t want you storing up resentment against me. Let it out, and let’s clear the air. I can’t promise I’ll never lose my temper, but if I do, I want you to hold your ground and yell back.”

Silently she dug through her suitcase, ignoring him.

He sighed wearily. “Don’t let him win, Tess.”

Her movements stilled.

“I’ve seen a spark in you, and I want to help you nourish it. I know you don’t believe it, you don’t see your potential, but it’s there. You have a core of strength and courage that’s admirable, Tess. Draw on it. Build on it. You’ve come a long way just by breaking free from him. Don’t retreat now.”

She turned a haunted expression toward him. “I may have been strong once.” Biting her lip, she dropped her gaze. “But any spark I had is gone. I traded it with the rest of my dignity when I gave myself to Randall. I bartered myself for survival.” Her hands plowed restlessly through her possessions, and her face grew rigid and unforgiving.