Chasing Butterflies (12 page)

I think I screamed, not sure. Whatever it was, Kelley sped up, continuing the feeling to course through my body, on a crash collision course. My toes curled when his back bent and all the veins in his neck stood out. His eyes were closed, but he seemed to have found the place I was coming down from as warm wetness covered my belly. A second later, his body lay next to mine.

We both panted and unexpectedly, I felt shy. I closed my eyes, trying to process everything. It seemed like forever and no time at all.

When he got up, I watched as he walked naked over to a bag and searched for something. He pulled out a small towel, then grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Sorry, butterfly.”

My eyes widened, fear moving through me. “What? Did I do something wrong?”

Had I hurt him? Was that why he strained in the end?

His eyes twinkled and his lips twitched. “No…shit…this is going to be cold.”

Next thing I knew, he was cleaning the stuff from my stomach and then in between my legs. I should have been horrified. There was blood. But it was so freaking sweet that he thought to take care of me. He flipped the towel over and wiped himself off before tossing it out of sight.

When he lay next to me and pulled me close, I wasn’t sure what he meant when he spoke again.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt like that with anyone else.”

“Felt what?” I was still confused and knowing that my lack of skills must somehow be to blame. Instead, I thought optimistically. “Butterflies?”

His fingers pushed hair out of my face. “If that’s what they call it. You’ve got me chasing them.”

Lenny, butterfly, Lenora
was in my bed. Her wide, innocent eyes were all confused, and I had no explanation for what just happened between us. All I knew was that I wanted to do it again. My dick started to stiffen again, which had never happened before. With her so close, I pushed a little inside her.

“Are you sore?”

It took her a second to catch onto my meaning. She wiggled her hips, which only stirred me to life faster.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t hurt.”

I didn’t know what that meant. I pulled back and pushed into heaven, never wanting to leave. “How does that feel?”

“It’s not bad.” But I saw her wince, and I groaned because I was more than ready.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, feeling pressure deep in my balls as my body wanted to move.

“Should it feel sore?”

I nodded and buried my face in her hair. She smelled like berries. I cupped her tit, unable to stop myself. I hadn’t been able to touch her the way I imagined in my eagerness to be inside her. I couldn’t be sure what I felt as I hadn’t fucked in weeks. Could the awesome feeling be because it had been so long?

Something told me shit no. It was all her. And not because she was virgin tight either. I’d had virgins before. Most had complained it’d hurt or some other shit. I’d had to spend a lot of time getting them ready. Something I’d learned over the years, but not my Lenora.

My
. When had I started thinking of her as mine?

“Any regrets?”

Why had I asked? If she said yes, would I feel like a shit for taking her virginity?

“No,” she said softly but kept her eyes on me.

“Good. And Ox?”

“What about him?”

“Am I going to have to kick his ass when he tries to fight me for being with his girl?”

She pulled back slightly. “I’m not his. Never was. I stayed with him because my father needed his parents as clients. But I’m tired of playing their game. If they use my college fund, I’ll just get a loan.”

There was more story there, but I felt the grin before I could stop it. “There’s my girl.”

“Your girl? You don’t do relationships.” When I glared at her, she reminded me, “Your words.”

She was giving me an out. I could say something else. “I changed my mind. You’re mine. This isn’t a one-time thing for me. That butterfly thing. I’m serious. I’ll chase you if you make me.”

Wasn’t sure why I admitted that. Maybe it was because my dick was still inside her. Clearly making me foolish.

“You don’t have to chase me. I’m right here.”

She leaned in and kissed me, which led to round two. I took it slow, knowing she wasn’t quite feeling up to the task. The shit was I couldn’t stop it. And evidently tweaking her breast and clit did the trick. She finally got into it. After round two, I was spent.

“I don’t have a bathroom,” I said when I finally pulled out of her. Then an idea struck. “But I have something better.”

I gave her a T-shirt of mine as I pulled on basketball shorts. Then we snuck down the stairs. My uncle’s car was missing, and I was pretty sure they were out for the night. I gave the back door a second glance, feeling bad Mom was alone. Dad’s truck wasn’t around, but the nurse’s car was there.

We made it to the dark backyard where the backdoor light shone on the glassy surface of the pool.

“You aren’t serious.”

“Why the hell not?” I said, tugging my shirt over her head, leaving her naked and perfect.

I dropped my shorts and counted to three, which felt fitting. Then we jumped in. If my aunt was home, I would know in moments. But the lights remained dark when I broke the surface of the water.

“You’re crazy.”

“You’re beautiful,” I said, pulling her in and kissing her.

That in itself was new. I wasn’t a kisser but somehow she made me crave her lips.

Her hand lifted the chain from my neck. “Who do these belong to? You’re always wearing them. Do you ever take them off?”

So she’d noticed. I didn’t want to spoil the moment. But told her anyway. “My brother’s, and no, I don’t take them off.”

“Your brother?” she echoed.

“He died overseas by an IED.”

“What’s that?”

“I thought you were smart, butterfly.”

She tapped my nose. “Don’t be mean. Just tell me.”

“Improvised explosive device. Meaning some shit planted a bomb in the road that blew up the vehicle my brother was in.”

“Fuckers,” she said.

Her serious expression along with the curse coming out of her good girl mouth made me laugh, so I kissed the shit out of her. We stayed locked together in the pool for a while.

“Cold?” I asked when she shivered in my arms.

“Yes, I’m pretty sure I’m becoming a prune.”

We hustled into the pool house where we found towels, but used the shower first. I went down on her again and because she was new at this, she had no idea I hadn’t done it that many times. Never before had I had a desire to do it, but she made these fucking sounds I wanted to hear.

By the time we made it back to my room over the garage, I just held her.

“Please don’t break my heart.”

Her words were faint, barely a whisper.

“I never wanted to own someone’s heart before. I can’t promise I won’t fuck up. But I won’t do it on purpose.”

I fell asleep wondering what it meant to own her heart. She hadn’t said she loved me. But girls had a funny way when it came to sex. They caught feelings fast, and all I wanted to do was keep her safe.

Morning came with a stream of light that blazed on my skin and had me blinking against its brightness. A noise like a faint buzzing sounded again. So it wasn’t the sun that woke me.

“Len, babe.”

I shook her slightly. Her eyes popped open, and she smiled when she saw me. Then the phone made a tinkling sound, and Lenny exploded out of bed.

“Oh my God, what time is it?”

When she stared at her phone, her eyes closed, and I knew it was bad.

“Hello,” she said tentatively in the phone.

I could hear muffled noises coming from the other end but couldn’t make them out.

“I know. I’m sorry. I—”

There was a pause, and I didn’t have to make a leap to know her parents were wondering where the fuck she was.
Shit
.

“Yes.” She nodded as if they could see. “Okay, I’m coming home now.”

She ended the call. Her eyes met mine.

“Your parents?”

She nodded. “I’ll call an Uber.”

It was my turn to hop out of bed. “Wait, let me see if I can get some money.”

I had a stash of cash but didn’t want to pull it out in front of her. It wasn’t that I couldn’t trust her. I didn’t want her to know how bad things were for me that I had to hide money. I pulled on my shorts from last night and ventured outside. I would ask Mom if I could borrow some and tell her I’d pay her right back. I would explain about Lenny. I had a feeling she’d be happy for me. I wouldn’t tell her what we’d been up to. She could figure all that out on her own.

Only, Dad’s truck was outside and a new plan formed in my head. I went into the house through the unlocked side door to their room. Mom was sleeping. Dad was passed out on the foldout bed that Aunt Joy had brought in for him. His keys sat on top of the dresser. I scooped them up and waited a second. He didn’t wake up. Just as I was about to leave, my name sounded from Mom’s lips.

I darted over, grabbing her hand.

“I’m here. What do you need?”

The nurse was gone. No doubt Dad had sent her packing.

“Where are you going with your father’s keys?”

So she hadn’t been sleeping after all.

“I’m going to run Lenny home.”

“That’s the girl, right?” she said with a faint smile and tired eyes. It was like she barely remembered her.

I nodded. “That’s the girl.”

“I knew she’d see what a catch you are.”

“You were right. You’re always right. But I need to get her home. Her parents…”

Mom nodded. “Hurry before your father wakes up.”

I bent and kissed the top of her head. “I will. I love you, Mom.”

She squeezed my hand as if that was all the strength she had left. My chest squeezed and the thought of losing her hurt worse than my brother dying. I scrambled out of the room, forcing back my emotions. She didn’t need to see me upset.

By the time I got to Lenny, she was pacing the room.

“Let’s go.”

“What?”

“I’m going to drive you.”

She followed me downstairs without question. She also didn’t question my instructions for her to be behind the wheel as I pushed the truck down the drive. I’d told her I didn’t want to wake Mom, which was partly true. The real reason was I didn’t want to wake Dad.

I followed her directions to her house and leaned over to kiss her goodbye as we parked at the curb. Only her front door opened and angry parents glared at the truck. She smiled at me, and I smiled back.

“I’ll probably be grounded. But I’ll see you at school Monday.”

I nodded, watching her walk away. Something in my gut twisted, and I had an urge to go and toss her over my shoulder and bring her back to my place.

Instead, I drove the short distance home. Worried about how much trouble Lenny was in, I pulled up and parked in the spot I’d vacated earlier. When Dad barreled out the door, I realized my mistake.

He yanked the door open and dragged me out.

“You little shit. I didn’t give you permission to drive my truck.”

I longed for the day when he would fear me. But as it was, my hits felt like they bounced off steel. His fist to the side of my temple was his go-to punch and had me seeing stars. The kick to the ribs wasn’t anything new either. I tried to become a ball as his blows rained down on my back, causing unimaginable pain where I assumed my kidneys were. I heard shouts off in the distance as my vision began to fail.

The screaming words he hurled at me hadn’t registered as I wondered if this time I would die. My only regret was that I hadn’t told Lenny what I truly felt about her. I was falling for her like I fell down the rabbit hole of darkness.

There was no
explanation for my behavior my parents would accept. But as I sat in my room without a computer or a phone for the weekend, I wondered if I had come home with Ox, would I still be in trouble? Something during my parents’ rant suggested not as much.

During my parental weekend incarceration, I had time to think about Debbie’s betrayal. I should have seen it coming. There were little things over the last few years that suggested we were growing apart, but it still hurt.

Intermingled with the betrayal was the remembrance of being with Kelley. Sex had been so much more than I expected. In fact, I got the tingles every time my thoughts went there. I honestly couldn’t wait to do it again, with him. And what the hell? He’d been the last boy I’d ever thought I would give my virginity to. And the deed was done, and I had no one to tell. That little fact made my thoughts circle back to Debbie.

By Monday, I was so relieved to go to school and out of the house I practically skipped through the halls. Then again, I hadn’t seen the outside of my room more than to use the restroom and eat. I was aching for human contact.

Only, Debbie standing by my locker wasn’t the human contact I wanted.

I had no choice but to face her if I planned to get my books for my first class. When I went to take a step, a dark shadow crossed my path.

“Babe.”

I glared up at Ox and noticed for the first time that he wasn’t as cute as I thought he was. He had squinting eyes and thin lips. He paled when compared to Kelley, not that it mattered. I wouldn’t have chosen Ox no matter how good he looked.

“Don’t
baby
me.” I pulled his ring from my pocket and held it out to him. “You can give it to Debbie if you want.”

I dropped it in his palm and stepped around him. He stopped me with one beefy hand.

“Lenny, she means nothing to me. She was just willing to give it up.”

Years of friendship had me instinctively glancing in Debbie’s direction. Her jaw had gone slack and her skin a pasty white. She fled a second later.

“You just pissed off your new girlfriend.”

Ox didn’t even turn to see Debbie running down the hall in the opposite direction. “I don’t want her. It’s you, Lenny. I was drunk, and she offered. What the fuck does it matter anyway? It’s not like you’re ever going to give it up. So why do you care if I screw someone else?”

Clearly he’d been hit one too many times on the field.

“Did you actually just hear yourself? You slept with my best friend.”

He laughed as a crowd gathered around us. “That’s where you’re wrong. She’s not your best friend if she’s fucked me.”

There was no denying that logic. “You’re right. But you’re wrong about something else. I would give it up to someone, just not you.”

I didn’t bother to go to my locker. It was too close, and I didn’t want any further confrontation with him. As I made my way to my class, I searched long and hard for Kelley, but came up empty.

During lunch, I ate alone quickly before heading to the library. The only reason I went to the cafeteria was to see if I could find Kelley. It sucked he didn’t have a phone, not that I had one either. If not for my mother’s fear of school shootings, I wouldn’t have mine on me. But it did nothing with no one to call. I had no way of contacting him, and I desperately wanted to see his face. If only to confirm that our night together had meant something to him.

I scoured the halls after school, daring to get a tongue lashing when I finally headed outside to Mom’s waiting car. Still, I hadn’t seen him. He must not have come to school. After I handed over my phone, she gave me a lecture about timeliness. I pushed her voice to the back of my mind as I hoped he was okay and I would see him the next day.

The afternoon and evening sucked eggs with nothing to do outside of homework and my thoughts. The longer I had to think without seeing and talking to Kelley, the longer my thoughts drifted into uncharted territory. Had I been good enough? Did he like being with me? Was he done and going to move on to his next conquest? Had he left like he said he always planned to do?

Tuesday only brought an unwanted conversation.

“You can’t ignore me forever.”

I didn’t bother to look over at Debbie. Part of me wanted to smash my locker door in her face, but that would only get me in trouble.

“I can try,” I said sourly.

“I can’t believe you’d let a boy get in between us.”

I slammed my locker door and gave her a lethal glare. “I can’t believe you hooked up with my boyfriend.”

“It’s not like you were into him anyway.”

Her logic was just as faulty as Ox’s. They deserved each other.

“That’s not what matters. It’s trust. Like him or not, everyone in school knew we were together. Of all the boys to choose.”

“It’s not like that, Lenny.”

“Oh, it is. You wanted what you couldn’t have.” There, I’d said it.

Her eyes narrowed, and I knew I’d pissed her off. “Not all of us want to stay virgins all our lives.”

“Was it everything you’d hoped it would be?”

I didn’t care who overheard our conversation.

She glanced away. For a moment, I thought shame crossed her face.

“It wasn’t,” she choked out. “After you left, he got dressed and ran after you. We’d barely started before you showed up.”

Did she think I would feel sorry for her?

“Sounds like you got what you deserve. That’s what happens when you slut your way to losing your V-card,” I snapped back.

“Slut—” she started to say. Then it was like she put something together as her features smoothed out. She cocked her head to the side. “And that’s the thing. You were gone from the party, but no one claimed to have driven you home. And you know who else was missing?
Kelley
.”

“How do you know that?’ I asked in haste, giving myself away.

Her grin was wicked. “His friend Joel came looking for him. Said he saw him run after you. And funny thing is, I got this call from your parents in the morning. They wondered if you were with me. So tell me, how was fucking Kelley?”

Tongue in cheek, I refrained from saying
better than your night
. Instead, I said, “The thing is, my life is no longer your concern. And what I did or didn’t do is none of your business.”

I started to stalk away as her cold words hit me in my back. I managed not to stumble as she called out, “I bet Ox would be real interested in that info.”

School sucked the rest of the day and the rest of the week. Kelley was a no show, which only made me wonder if he’d gotten what he wanted and left town. Since I was under lockdown, I couldn’t go to his place and confront him.

After the final bell rang on Friday, I spotted Joel and Trina whispering in a corner. They looked cozy, but I was desperate for answers. So I trotted over to them.

“Hey.”

They turned to face me as one and it was cute to find Trina blushing. With that girl’s reputation, I didn’t think she was capable. But there I went judging. Hadn’t I learned that rumors were sometimes far from true?

“I was wondering if either of you have seen Kelley?”

They faced each other and for the briefest moment, I feared what I saw in their faces. Joel spoke first.

“Here’s the thing…”