Chasing Castles (Finding Focus #2) (25 page)

Deacon

Past

SPRING TIME IS UPON US
, which means it’s been raining a lot, but the clear skies today are giving us a much-needed respite. While I drive over to Janie’s apartment to pick her up for our lunch date, I roll my window down and let the warm breeze blow in. It’s exactly what I need to refresh me after a week of long nights at Grinders.

When we first opened, I’d stay up all night and do paperwork, then go home and stress about things just enough to keep me from sleeping. After a few weeks of putting up with my mood swings, Micah and Janie had an intervention and sent me home with strict orders to sleep for as long as it takes to get my shit back together.

I slept off and on for two days before I was bored out of my skull. I went to work that night and, after apologizing to Micah and the staff, I grabbed an apron and headed to the kitchen to help cook. I’ve never looked back.

Now, I make sure to schedule downtime so I won’t get too stressed out. I just love it so much,—the job and the people—and I want us all to succeed. Running a restaurant takes the entire team, and I’ve learned I have to take better care of myself if I’m to be the best coach I can be.

Another thing I had to start scheduling is alone time with Janie. I know how awful that sounds, but if I didn’t put our dates on my calendar, along with a few reminders, I’d let myself get too busy and forget. Janie is important to me, and she’s been there for me through every stage of the restaurant. So, I’m trying to make it a priority to show her how much I appreciate her.

With her being in medical school, it gets harder and harder to set aside time for us. We’re both so busy, but making lunch dates a couple of times a week seems to work well for us. With today being so beautiful outside, I decided to pick up some muffulettas and drinks before picking Janie up and taking her to a local park. Truth be told, it’s not a lot of fun visiting restaurants when I spend so much time at Grinders. A picnic outside will be perfect.

I knock on Janie’s door, and she pops her head out to let me know she needs to get her shoes.

As I wait for her outside, I hear Cami’s ringtone coming from my phone.

“Hey, Cami. What’s up?”

I immediately tense up, my blood running cold when I hear her crying hysterically.

“Cami, sweetheart, you gotta settle down. I don’t know what you’re sayin’. Take a deep breath and start over.”

Without thinking, I walk back to my truck and get inside, firing up the engine.

“I . . . I’m on my way to the Women’s Hospital . . . in Baton Rouge,” she sobs.

“What? What’s going on? Are you driving? Maybe you should pull over while you talk to me and calm down,” I tell her. My mind is racing with worst-case scenarios, but I try to stay focused. If something were really bad, she’d be in an ambulance, right?”

Cami takes a deep, shuddering breath before she speaks again. “I’m okay, but I can’t stop drivin’. I have to get to the hospital. I’m havin’ contractions.”

What?
That can’t be happening yet; it’s too early.

“Cami, I’m gonna meet you at the ER, you hear me? I’ll be there in about ten minutes,” I promise her.

“Okay, I’m almost there. Thanks, Deke.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Cami. I’m glad you called. Just be safe, you hear?”

I put the truck in reverse and back out, but when I start to drive forward, I have to slam on my brakes because Janie is standing right in front of me.

Shit
. I completely forgot where I was.

She walks up to me with her hands on her hips. This is not going to go over well.

“Hey, baby, I’m sorry, but I gotta go. Cami just called, and she’s on her way to the hospital.”

“And? What does that have to do with you?” she asks.

“You can’t be serious right now? She’s family and something’s wrong with the baby. I have to be there for her. I
want
to be.”

“Of course, you’d rather be with your
precious Camille
than with me.”

I slam my fist on the steering wheel. I’m wasting time arguing with her when I should be on my way to Cami. And her shitty attitude is pissing me off. I grab the bags of food from the passenger seat and hand them to her.

“Look, I know the timin’ sucks, but I’m not abandoning Cami.”

“No, you’re just abandoning
me
,” Janie spits out, rejecting the food.

“Fuck,” I groan, letting my head fall to the steering wheel. “Whatever. I’ve gotta go.”

Carefully, I drive around her before speeding out of her apartment complex. I know I’ll have to make this right later, but right now, the only thing I can focus on is getting to the hospital and being with Cami.

After finding a parking spot, I run inside the building just in time to see Cami being put in a wheelchair.

“Cami!” I yell out, getting the attention of her and the nurse pushing her.

The look of relief that covers Cami’s face is more than enough to prove I made the right choice. Cami needs me, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let her down.

She reaches her hand out to me, and I take it, reassured by how strong her grip is.

I squeeze her hand and wink at her. “You’re gonna be just fine.”

She nods her head, and I don’t know if she’s agreeing with me or trying to reassure us both, but she manages to give me a small smile before the nurse ushers us down the hall.

With rushed precision, Cami is moved to a bed and hooked up to a monitor before I even sit down. Cami tells the nurse her personal information before explaining the symptoms she’s experiencing. Nurse Patty, she introduces herself, checks the monitor and tells us the baby looks fine and that the doctor will be in soon before leaving the room.

I pull my chair to the side of her bed and grab her hand again. Her shoulders shake as she cries, rubbing her belly with her other hand.

“Shhh, baby.” I kiss the top of her hand and leave my mouth there, speaking into her skin. “You’re gonna be fine. Both of you.”

“I’m so scared, Deacon,” she whispers.

Her words tear at my heart, and I want nothing more than to make everything right. I fucking hate that this is out of my control.

I move her hair away from her face. “I know you are, Cami, but you have to stay strong, okay? Nurse Patty said the baby looks fine, so we’re gonna focus on that. Can you tell me what started all of this?”

“I was workin’ at the cafe when my stomach started feelin’ . . .
tight
and uncomfortable. It was weird. It’s not that it hurt, really, but it had never happened before, so I didn’t know what to do. I went and sat down at an empty table, and it stopped briefly. When it started up again, I realized I was having contractions. I panicked and told Sally I had to leave before I jumped into my truck. I called my doctor while I was driving and they told me to go straight to the ER. I couldn’t get ahold of Daddy or Kay or your parents, so I called you. I’m sorry if I’m keepin’ you from somethin’ important.”

I try not to be hurt that she didn’t call me first, because why would she? It makes perfect sense that she’d call her parents, then mine, but it still bothers me. I can’t think about why right now, though.

We both stare at the monitor, the one that’s attached to the band around her belly. The readings seem to be even. I think that’s good. I’ve never been around anyone who’s pregnant before.

“What if somethin’s wrong?” she whispers, letting her fears out into the open.

“Don’t think about that,” I tell her, kissing her hand again. “Let’s talk about something else while we wait.”

“I got a check in the mail last week,” she says. “I’ve meant to ask you about it.”

“A check?” I ask, confused why she’d need to ask me about it.

“Yeah,” she says, repositioning herself on the flimsy hospital pillow. “It was from Tristan. It didn’t come with a note or any explanation. But in the memo line, it said payment in full for seven 18 x 24 canvases.”

She looks at me like she expects me to say something, but I let her finish.

“That sounds a lot like the paintings from my exhibit,” she says, a bit of hedging in her voice.

“I’m glad he followed through,” I tell her, not wanting to offer up any more information than I have to. The truth is that Tucker and I went and had a
chat
with Tristan. Originally, we were going to get her paintings but then decided that he could do her one better than that. He could sell them and give Cami one hundred percent of the sales, no commission.

“Did you buy my paintings?” she asks. Her eyebrows are furrowed together like she’s trying to solve a puzzle.

“No.”

“Then who did?”

“Some lucky motherfucker,” I tell her, smiling.

“So, Tristan sold my paintings?”

“Sounds like it.”

“The check was for way more than what it should’ve been,” she adds. “It’s like he didn’t take his commission. Tristan always gets his commission.”

“Not this time. He already got more than he deserved.” He never deserved Cami. He got more than he deserved the first day he met her. He didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as her. If I have anything to do with it, he never will again. And he’ll never touch this baby.

She relaxes and gives me a genuine smile.

A short while later, the doctor comes in and, after a brief examination, he tells Cami that she’s experiencing something called Braxton Hicks contractions. It’s not anything too serious, but she’ll need to be careful not to overdo it for the remaining time of her pregnancy.

“Would you like to see your baby?” the doctor asks Camille.

“Sure. I’ll never turn that down,” she answers. Her excitement is contagious, and I find myself anxious to see the baby, too.

Once the ultrasound equipment is set up and the doctor has the wand-thing on her belly, I lean over to get a better look. I’ve never been in this situation before, so I’m curious, but I also don’t want to intrude on Cami’s moment.

“Deke, come here,” she tells me.

“Are you sure?” I ask, wanting to be closer . . . always wanting to be closer to her.

“Of course, silly. Hurry.” She reaches out for me, and I take her hand, coming to stand by her side. For some people this might seem weird, but for us, it feels natural. I can’t imagine anyone else standing beside her. I wouldn’t want anyone else standing beside her.

With my free hand, I massage the area of my chest over my heart, because thinking about someone else besides me standing here makes my chest ache. But I don’t know what to do with that feeling, because while I’m here, with Cami, my girlfriend is pissed at me for ruining our lunch date.

Part of me feels like the biggest douchebag ever, but the other part of me feels like it has no other choice than to stand right here, holding Cami’s hand.

I’ve felt so torn over Cami since as far back as I can remember. When I first started having feelings for her, way back before puberty hit, I thought it was wrong. She’s always been close, like a sister, but I never thought of her that way. A best friend, yes, but never a sister. But she is Tucker’s sister, and that was also a roadblock to my feelings for her. I knew Tucker would shit a brick and want to kick my ass if he knew how I felt about Cami back in high school. Shit, if he ever found out that the two of us had sex . . . I don’t even want to think about it.

“Ready?” the doctor asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. I feel Cami’s hand tighten around mine as my eyes try to adjust to the screen.

Eventually, I realize that it doesn’t matter if my eyes adjust because I have no clue what I’m looking at. The doctor must recognize the confused look on my face because he starts pointing out body parts, helping me make sense of what’s on the monitor.

Cami’s hand squeezes mine. “Isn’t he beautiful?”

“Sure, is. Just like his mama,” I assure her.

Wait just a damn minute.

I don’t remember being told that she’s having a boy.

My eyes flash to hers, and she’s looking like the cat who ate the canary. “
He
?” I ask.

She giggles. “Yep. No one else knows, so you better keep your mouth shut, Deacon Landry.”

“Your secret is safe with me, Camille Benoit.”

Her eyes are sparkling again, and I’m overcome with the desire to kiss her.

That cannot happen.

But I want it anyway, and I literally have to force myself not to move in closer and do it.

That would be wrong, on so many levels.

But right on so many more.

The struggle I feel inside has been building strength the last month or so, and I honestly don’t know how much longer I can fight it off.

It doesn’t help that Cami seems to be feeling the same way. Her gaze has traveled from my eyes to my mouth a couple of times now, making it even harder to resist her.

Get your shit together, Deacon.

“Your baby looks perfect, Camille. Everything is on track. I just need you to be mindful of these Braxton Hicks contractions. If you feel them again, get off your feet and drink some water. If they continue or increase in intensity, call us immediately.”

“Yes, sir. I will. Thank you so much.”

Now that the spell we were just under has fallen, I kiss her on her forehead and tell her I’m going outside to call everyone and give them the good news.