Chasing Castles (Finding Focus #2) (6 page)

“She made the best cakes,” my dad says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “Much better than me.”

“Yours are great, Daddy,” I tell him, leaning into his hug. I’d hate for him to feel bad or think I don’t appreciate all he’s done for me. He’s always done the best he can to fill the gaps. I love my daddy for so many reasons, but one of the biggest is that he’s always kept her memory alive, never letting us forget how much she loved us or how amazing she was.

“You’re just sayin’ that because you’re sweet.”

“Nope, it’s the truth.”

“And, you’re sweet,” he says quietly, kissing my temple. “Just like your mama.”

After the cake comes Deacon’s favorite part: presents. But it’s not really mine. I love giving gifts, but getting them has always made me feel weird, like, what did I do to deserve them. Plus, even though I don’t have a lot, I don’t feel like I need anything. Just some paints and a canvas, wide open spaces, and room to roam free—those are things that make me happy.

And Deacon Landry, but that’s my little secret.

“Open this one first,” Annie says, passing a blue box with white ribbon my way.

“It looks too fancy to open,” I tell her, admiring the wrapping.

“Oh, shush. Open it.”

Slipping the white ribbon off, I look up and feel the heat on my cheeks flare as everyone’s eyes are on me.

This is why I hate gift giving.

So much pressure.

I smile awkwardly and continue opening the box, lifting the lid, and my eyes fill with tears when I realize what’s inside. It’s not something Annie and Sam spent their hard-earned money on, nor did Annie shop for hours looking for the perfect gift. No, it’s something that’s been mine all along. It’s just been waiting for me to be old enough to have it.

My mother’s locket.

She gave it to Annie when she was in the hospital. She made her promise to keep it for me. I’ve heard the story over and over. Every time Annie let me play in her jewelry when I was little, she’d tell it to me. And every time, I’d ask if I could keep it, and she’d tell me not until I was old enough.

Apparently, sixteen is the magic age.

I don’t think it’s normal to cry this much on your birthday. I’m not normally a sappy girl, but when I look up, everyone is blurry. It’s hard to see them past the tears. I try not to blink and will the tears to dry up and disappear, but one slips out.

It’s in moments like this that I know my mama is here, and she’s with me, and she’s watching. It makes me feel good and like she’s not so far away. Running my fingers over the delicate chain and the locket, I remember. I can see her hold onto it when she would bend down to kiss me at night. She’s so clear in my mind, and it’s the best present anyone could’ve given me.

“Thank you.”

Annie smiles, and Sam wraps an arm around her shoulder. I can see she’s battling the tears too.

Maybe turning sixteen isn’t so bad after all.

Camille

Present

EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE
has been better because of Deacon Landry, even the days when we weren’t together. Just knowing he was there, and that I could call him at any moment, gave me a sense of comfort that I think I’ve always taken for granted.

As we follow behind the ambulance, my mind races with possible scenarios. I’m usually a positive person, thinking the best of situations, but I can’t get the picture of him lying lifeless on that gurney out of my head. I try to shake it and picture him the way he was this morning when he kissed me before rolling out of my bed to make our coffee.

My throat hurts as I try to keep the sob that’s threatening its way up to stay down.

“I need to call Annie.” The words come out of Sam’s mouth like a realization, and they sit in my stomach like weight.

Oh, my God.

Annie
.

I shake my head because I don’t know how she’s going to handle this.

And Carter. Deacon is his world.

And Micah.

And Tucker.

And my daddy.

And Kay.

Deacon is such a pivotal part of all of our lives. I just can’t imagine life without him. I refuse to imagine that life. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and suck up the emotion lodged in my throat.

“I’ll call her,” I tell him, pulling my phone out of my pocket and hitting send once I’ve found her number.

I glance over at Sam, and I see the worry in his eyes. I know what he’s thinking. I know that if he could, he would save Annie from this grief. He would save her from the worry. Because that’s the kind of man he is. It’s the kind of man he’s raised Micah and Deacon to be. But he can’t shield her from this. She’ll be pissed we haven’t called her until now.

“Hey, muffins just came out of the oven,” Annie says, the same chipper tone from earlier still present. “Did you smell ’em all the way in town?”

She doesn’t know.

I’m surprised because news spreads like wildfire in this town.

“Hey, uh,” I start, but I don’t know how to say it. I don’t know if I’ve ever had to tell someone bad news before. I look to Sam for guidance. He wipes a hand down his face and then back up into his hair, and I know I’m on my own. If he were the one holding the phone, he’d be lost for words too. “There was a fire at Pockets.”

“Oh, my God.” I hear the gasp, and the instant worry and my stomach drops even further.

As much as I love Deacon, Annie loves him more. She’s everyone’s caregiver, their number one fan. She’s been there for every moment of his life. I know this kind of love. It’s the kind I have for my son. The one I can hear in the background, asking his Nannie what’s wrong, and my heart breaks a little more.

Camille

Past

THERE’S RARELY AN EVENT OR
milestone that’s celebrated in these parts that doesn’t include a bonfire on the Landry’s property. Deacon’s send-off to college is no exception. It doesn’t matter that it’s hotter than forty hells here in August; if Deacon wants a bonfire, that’s what he’ll get.

This summer has been equal parts amazing and awful for me as I’ve watched Deacon prepare to leave home. There were days when he was too busy to hang out because he was registering for classes, buying his books, or getting his dorm room ready. And, although he’s not playing football anymore, he’s still been going to the gym with his old teammates who will be trying out for Louisiana State University’s second-string team.

Then there were days when he’d be home, and all he wanted to do was be with me, Tucker and Micah. The four of us would either fish at the pond all day or ride dirt bikes around the property before building a fire and staying up late, even if it meant we were getting eaten up by mosquitoes.

All hail the Louisiana state bird.

Those were my favorite moments. Especially the nights Tucker and Micah would either fall asleep in their lawn chairs or go to bed, leaving Deacon and me alone. We had some of the best talks during those summer nights, and I found myself falling deeper for him.

We mostly talked about the future—Deacon’s plans for opening a restaurant with Micah and my dream of being an artist.

“You don’t just
become
an artist, Cami. It’s something you’re born to do,” he told me one night a couple of weeks ago. His dark hair was wind-blown up and away from his face after a long day of boating with some of his buddies and his lightly sunburned cheeks only made his eyes that much brighter as he looked at me. I hadn’t expected to hear from him at all that day and had just turned my bedroom light out for the night when I heard the familiar sound of rocks hitting my window. Occasionally, Deacon comes to my window at night. I guess I should be used to it by now, but every time he does, it fills me with an excitement that’s nearly impossible to contain. Somehow, I do, though, because the last thing Deacon Landry needs is another girl squealing over him.

That night, we walked to the pond. When my feet became tangled in the tall grass, he quickly grabbed me by the waist to keep me from falling. There was no doubt in my mind that he could hear and feel my heart beating out of my chest as he held me to him for a second too long, but I didn’t care. I could’ve played it off as a reaction to my tripping, but something told me he knew the truth. It was in the way he kept his arm around me as we made our way to the dock and it was in the way he kept looking at me even when we weren’t talking.

Something changed between us that night. I felt it, and I’m willing to bet Deacon felt it, too. Unfortunately, we haven’t been alone together since then. So, I don’t know if the change was fleeting or not.

I’ll find out tonight.

I’ve made it my mission to tell Deacon how I feel about him before he leaves. Since he’s leaving tomorrow, tonight is my last chance.

No more sweet and quiet Cami Benoit. Tonight I’m gonna be confident and sexy and get my man. All I need are my cut-off shorts, a top that shows off my boobs, and some lip gloss. I also need some major liquid courage.

Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill, here I come
.

Two cups in and I’m already in need of something to eat. I wasn’t prepared for how sweet this crap is and I need some chips and dip to even out the taste in my mouth. Plus, my head is feeling a little funny. Outside of swiping a few sips of my daddy’s beers growing up, this is my first time drinking alcohol, and I’m praying I don’t get sick. That would ruin everything.