Chasing Jillian: A Love and Football Novel (13 page)

“I shouldna had those last two beers,” he said. He threw his forearm over his eyes.

She hid her smile. “You were all having fun.”

“Gonna have a headache tomorrow.”

“You’ll need some aspirin and some water before you go to sleep,” she said. She pulled into his driveway, praying she wouldn’t hit the side of the garage as she drove inside it. “I’ll walk you upstairs.”

“You take my car home,” he said.

She didn’t want to drive a vehicle that cost more than her business-major college education, but she couldn’t leave his ride at the parking garage while she went to get her car. The whole thing was ridiculous.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she slid her arm around his waist. “Take it easy,” she said as they walked up the stairs. He wasn’t stumbling around, but she wanted to make sure he’d get into his room safely. She was torn between laughing a bit at his antics and scolding him for getting drunk when he had practice in the morning.

He flopped onto his bed. She pulled off his shoes as she spoke. “I’ll get your aspirin and water here in a minute.”

“Thankssss, Jill.”

At least he remembered who she was.

She rummaged around his medicine cabinet until she found some ibuprofen and got him a glass of water to wash them down with. She pulled the blankets over him, made sure the bathroom light was on so he wouldn’t wake up and be disoriented, and brushed the hair off of his forehead.

“Go to sleep,” she murmured.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. I’ll pick you up in the morning.”

He reached out to grasp one of her wrists. “Stay with me.”

“What? No. I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can. Stay here. Get some sleep.” He moved to the other side of the bed and folded the blankets down in open invitation. “Come on, Jill.”

“I shouldn’t be doing this.”

Spending time with Seth was one thing, but getting physically involved with him was something else. She remembered John’s threat to fire her if she got romantic with Seth, and she remembered Vivian’s reinforcement of this fact too. She’d told John nothing was going on between them. She couldn’t say that anymore, not by any stretch of the imagination.

“Please?”

Against every bit of wisdom she possessed, she kicked off her shoes and stripped off her jacket. She dropped it on the floor by the closet.

“You need one of my T-shirts. They’re in the dresser, third drawer down.”

“I should leave my clothes on.”

If she left her clothes on, nothing was going to happen. Sure it wasn’t. She’d cling to half an inch on her side of the mattress all night and wouldn’t touch him. She would have rolled her eyes at her own justifications if he wasn’t looking directly at her.

“Y
OU WON’T SLEEP
well.”

He’d sleep like a baby. He always slept more deeply when he wasn’t alone. Plus, he didn’t want her to leave.

“I . . . ” She didn’t finish. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head. Should she, or shouldn’t she?

“Don’t be a chicken. Plus, no sheets on the guest bed.” She hadn’t seen much of the guest bedroom when she’d visited before. The bed in there was always made. And he was a liar.

“Fine.” She got in the bed and flipped on her side away from him. He could fix that. He pulled the blankets up to her shoulders and slid one arm around her midsection.

“Stop it,” she protested, but there was no heat in her voice. She didn’t shrink from his touch.

“Shhh,” he soothed.

“Why are we doing this?”

He pretended he didn’t hear her question. “I’m too drunk to drive you home, and you’re too sleepy to drive yourself. Close your eyes.” He buried his nose in her hair. “Good night.”

S
HE’D BEEN PLAYED
.

Seth shouldn’t have been behind the wheel of his car, but she’d bet her own car he wasn’t drunk. He was lonely. He didn’t want to sleep alone. He’d had plenty of opportunities to find someone else to warm his bed tonight, and he’d taken advantage of none of them, as far as she could tell. Jillian wasn’t sure why he’d chosen her, but she had to admit that nobody forced her into his bed: She’d climbed in herself. His hand was flat against her belly, and he pulled her against him. She felt his body relax against hers. His warm breath tickled the nape of her neck. The clean, freshly showered scent of his hair and skin surrounded her.

She could wait a few minutes until he fell asleep and then go home, but she knew she wouldn’t. She let out a long sigh. She’d also told Emily and Amy, two women she hardly knew, all about her personal history. She hadn’t told Seth yet. Why was she still holding back? He wasn’t going to use the information to hurt her.

This was a hot mess.

“Whatsss wrong?” she heard him murmur. He kept trying to pretend he was drunk. It was a good thing he played football for a living because he was a terrible actor.

“Nothing.” She covered his hand on her belly with her own. He laced his fingers through hers. “Go to sleep, you big baby.”

“You must miss sleeping with the guy you’re dating.”

The silence in the room grew as she hesitated. She wanted to tell him everything, but she couldn’t. Plus, what would he do when he found out that she was as lonely as he was? It would be one long misunderstanding. She’d lose his friendship, and right now, she wasn’t ready to do that.

“Yeah, I do.” She let out a breath. “He’s insatiable, you know.”

Seth let out a snort of laughter.

She closed her eyes. He was so warm. The feeling of his body against hers was comforting. At the same time, every hormone in her body was wide awake and screaming for relief. She knew something was happening with him. She could feel him, hard against her. She resisted the urge to roll over and do something about it. She was in bed with a man most women would do almost anything to be with, and nothing was going to happen tonight.

This was a thousand-thread-count, hotel-mattress version of hell.

S
ETH AWOKE SOMETIME
in the wee hours. All he heard in his room was the sound of Jillian’s breathing. She was asleep in his arms, her head pillowed on his shoulder, one small hand flat in the middle of his chest. The bathroom light illuminated the room enough for him to watch her sleep.

It wasn’t the first time he’d invited a female friend into his bed, but he really needed to stop doing this. He’d want to kill any other guy who did the same thing to her. After all, Jillian deserved better. She made him laugh and made him think. He enjoyed spending time with her, even when she insisted on telling him things he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear. The party in his shorts had started when he saw her in the crowd at the bowling alley, and things had just gotten worse. It was the external indication of how he felt when he saw her. Happiness. Relief. Couldn’t wait to talk with her. To say he was miserable right now was an understatement, but he reluctantly conceded he had nobody to blame but himself.

She stirred a little and rubbed her nose on the side of his neck. If he was hard before, he could now pound nails with it. They were supposed to be just friends. He wouldn’t have shared half the things he did with her if they were more than that. It would be too risky. He didn’t want to fuck this up—whatever they had. What was it about her? She was everything he’d never wanted. She didn’t have a perfect figure. She was attractive, but he’d always been partial to dark-haired women. Jillian wore little makeup, didn’t get a mani and pedi once a week, and wasn’t interested in fashion. When she smiled at him, though, he forgot it all.

One kiss
, he thought.
Just one kiss
. He could do it. He’d kiss her. Then he’d go back to sleep. He was kidding himself, but he had to touch her.

He smoothed the hair out of her eyes, and he saw one side of her mouth move into a faint smile. His fingertips trailed down the soft skin of her jaw. She arched into his hand like that damn cat of hers did, even in her sleep. He dragged his thumb over her lower lip. Her scent, the way she cuddled up to him—he wanted her to stay forever.

He wasn’t big on poetry. He thought it was pretty much a pain in the ass when he was in school. He wished he’d paid better attention. He didn’t have the words to describe how it felt to touch her, and he wished he did.

He was out of his mind.
Leave her alone
, his newly discovered conscience shrieked. Get out of the bed. Go into the other room. The only way this was going to end was with them both naked, and it was wrong. Before, he didn’t care who got hurt, but now he did. He couldn’t hurt her. He couldn’t.

There was enough light in his room to see Jillian open her eyes. Her voice was sleepily husky and the sexiest thing he’d ever heard. “Seth?”

He tipped her chin up and sealed his mouth over hers in one quick motion. She tasted sweet and clean, like water. Her lips fluttered beneath his. She was kissing him back! His heart banged around in his chest. The blood roared in his ears. Mostly, he wanted more. He’d kissed so many women before, but none like this. He wanted to plunder, but even more, he wanted to savor. Everything and everyone before was a warm-up.

He heard a groan and realized it came from him. He slid his tongue into her mouth, exploring and tasting, and he just about exploded when he felt her shy forays into his mouth with her tongue. Their tongues did a complicated dance, and her moan was muffled as she kissed him. She slid her fingers into his hair. He pushed her T-shirt up and moved his hand up until he palmed her breast. She was still wearing a bra. He’d be taking care of that shortly. He rolled onto her, pinning her beneath him but supporting his weight on one forearm as he fisted his hand in her hair. She cradled him between her thighs. He felt her arms clasping him, her hands roaming over his back, and heard her unsteady breathing as he came up for air.

“Jill,” he managed to rasp, “I want you.” He pulled the hem of her T-shirt up and tried to take it off over her head.

It was like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water on her. One moment, she was kissing him as if he held all the oxygen left in the world and she would die without more; the next, she pulled her mouth off his, cried out
no
, and pushed against his chest with both hands. She threw herself off his bed, grabbed her shoes, and hopped around the room until she managed to cram them onto her feet.

“I have to go.”

“Now? Don’t leave. Come back here.” He held the blankets up so she could slide back in.

She attempted sarcasm. “It’s too late on a school night. Gotta go.”

She grabbed her jacket and ran out of his room. He was off the bed in a flash and chasing her down the hallway.

“Wait! Wait. Where are you going?” He reached the front door before she did and leaned one hand against it.

Her eyes were wild. Her clothes were pretty messed up. He couldn’t take his eyes off her mouth, though. The reflection of the porch light shining through the glass panels in his front door revealed swollen lips stained cherry-red by all that kissing. Anyone who saw her would know exactly what she’d been doing.

“I need to leave. Please let me leave.”

“I will, but just one thing.” He cupped her cheek once more and slowly rubbed his thumb against it. Standing close to her was like a drug he could never kick. She stood stiffly, but he kept at it until he heard her breathing return to normal, and he saw her relax. “Jill,” he said softly, “why, baby?”

She bowed her head. “I . . . I can’t,” she choked out. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. I shouldn’t have been here in the first place. I have to go.”

He heard the jingle of his car keys in her hand, and he stepped away from the door. She wrenched it open and closed it behind her, and he hurried to hit the garage door opener in the mud room. Seconds later, he heard the Escalade start.

That went well.

Chapter Fifteen

J
ILLIAN PULLED INTO
the driveway at Seth’s at seven thirty the next morning. If he’d take her over to get her car, he could go back to bed, and she’d go to the office. Well, she’d go to the office directly after she got rid of the piece of toast and coffee she managed to force down. She couldn’t decide which was stronger right now—the urge to cry or the urge to throw up. She was shaking like a leaf. Her stomach was churning. She hadn’t slept at all last night, and the reason why was probably still tucked up in bed, asleep.

She walked up the path to his front door on rubbery legs. She could leave the keys on the little table inside his front door and walk to the parking garage. It was only about half a mile away. That would work. Just as she tried to fit the key in the lock, the front door swung open to reveal a fully dressed Seth. He had on worn jeans, an Under Armour “Protect This House” T-shirt, cross-trainers, and a scowl.

“I . . . oh, here.” She held out his car keys. “Thanks for letting me borrow your car. I’ll walk over there to get my car out of the garage.”

“No. I’ll drive you.” He pulled the front door closed and locked it behind him. He headed off to his car. She kept walking. “I don’t know if you heard me,” he called out. “I’m driving.”

“I’m walking.” She hoped she could get away from him before she did something incredibly embarrassing, like lose complete control of her bodily functions. He backed out of his driveway, pulled alongside her, and rolled down the passenger window.

“Please get in the car.”

“No. I’m not in the mood to carpool this morning.”

Obviously she was acting childish, but one more glance at that hard mouth reminded her how soft it had been when he kissed her.

“Jill, you’ll be late for work. Just get in.”

They were attracting attention. Seth’s vehicle was sufficiently large to offer no clear view around them. Three cars lined up behind him in quick succession. Nobody was honking yet, but that was a matter of time. Jillian tried to pick up the pace. Unfortunately, Seth could drive faster than she could walk.

“Just go away,” she called out.

“No. I won’t. I want to talk to you, and you’re running away from me.” The driver directly behind Seth’s vehicle gave his horn a quick tap. Seth ignored this. He slowed even more.

“I’m not running away from you. I have to go get my car. I have to work for a living, unlike other people who exercise all day.”

“That’s it,” he told her. The guy behind him laid on the horn. Seth pulled over to the curb, jumped out of his running vehicle, and ran back to the guy who’d honked at him. “Have you ever had an argument with a woman before?” he shouted. Jillian couldn’t hear what the guy said to him in response, but Seth continued. “Great. Let me get you guys out of here, then.” She glanced back. Seth was now directing traffic around his car. He cleared off everyone who waited behind him, and she heard the pounding of his shoes against the sidewalk as he ran. He stopped in front of her. “Please get in the car so I can take you to the parking garage.”

Her eyes traveled up from the pavement, over the chest she’d snuggled against last night, the arms that had closed around her, the shoulder she’d laid her head on, the espresso-brown waves sun-streaked with caramel that slipped through her fingers like liquid satin. The eyes she saw in her dreams. Oh, God, his mouth. She swallowed hard. Cold sweat trickled down her spine. He reached out one hand to her. “Jill.”

She didn’t take his hand, but she crossed to the passenger side of his car, opened the door, and got in. He threw himself into the driver’s seat.

It took ten minutes to get to the parking garage from his neighborhood. He had ten minutes to try to explain himself. It was obvious that Jillian hadn’t slept last night. She was near tears, and she probably had an upset stomach too. Whenever she was upset, the first thing she did was start clutching her stomach.

He was still wondering why she’d launched herself out of his bed. She had kissed him back. She had touched him too. There was something else going on here, but she wasn’t talking. She scrunched herself into the passenger seat and looked away from him.

He braked at the stoplight in front of the parking garage. Thank God. Sixty more seconds while they waited for the light to change.

“Jill, let’s talk a little about what happened last night.” She didn’t speak. “I woke up and you were close and I got carried away.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

She turned to look at him. He watched the color drain from her face.

“You kissed me, and you’re sorry?” The glimmer of tears rose in her eyes. “You’re sorry. Oh, God. Just let me out.” She tried to open the door, which he quickly relocked. He wasn’t letting her step into traffic! She flopped back against the seat, closed her eyes, and hugged herself even harder.

“That’s not what I meant.” Of course, the light changed at that moment, and he needed to concentrate. The stricken look on her face—this couldn’t possibly get any worse. He made a left-hand turn into the garage, pulled the ticket out of the machine, and threw it on the dashboard. She hadn’t said a word, but she brushed at her cheeks with an impatient hand. “I enjoyed kissing you. I wanted to kiss you again. I . . . well, it upset you, and that’s what I meant.” He pulled to a stop behind her car. She grabbed her purse, threw the door open, jumped out, and ran to the driver’s side door.

She jabbed her key in the lock while he got out of the car again. She glanced up, and his heart just about stopped. She looked at him as if he were a stranger—and an unwelcome one.

“If you wanted to kiss someone, there were plenty of volunteers last night. Why didn’t you pick one of them? They were all over the place,” she cried out. “They . . . you don’t care for me. You acted like you were going to kiss me weeks ago, and then you didn’t. You’re not interested because I’m not what you’re looking for! You’re not into me. I’m someone convenient that you run to when you’re bored or you’re lonely. Why did you kiss me when you didn’t mean it?”

He couldn’t have been more surprised if Dallas’s offensive line had suddenly materialized in the parking garage and clotheslined him with extreme prejudice. He could see her trembling, her sweet pink mouth a spot of color in an otherwise chalk-white face. She finally managed to get the car door to unlock and threw her purse onto the passenger seat. “I have to go.” She jammed the key into the ignition and slammed the car door at the same time.

He’d boxed her in. He could sit and wait; she’d have to talk to him eventually. Instead, he jogged back to his car, got in the driver’s seat, and drove away.

J
ILLIAN PULLED HER
cell phone out of her purse and dialed John’s direct line. She heard the smile in his voice as he answered. “Jillian. Are you going to tell me you’re late for the first time in three months?”

“I don’t feel well,” she said. That was an understatement. She wanted to throw up. “Is there any way I can stay home today?”

“Of course you can. I’m sorry to hear you’re not feeling good. Did the guys keep you out too late last night?”

“No. I . . . maybe I have some food poisoning. I feel really awful.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. If her stomach was churning before, now it was so painful that all she wanted to do was go to bed and never get out again. “I’m going to go back home and get some rest.”

“Well, I hope you’ll be feeling better soon. If you’re up to it later, could we talk a little about the rest of the week? I’ll be at meetings in Las Vegas, and there’re a few things we should go over.”

“Of course, John. Would you like me to call you at noon or so?”

“Perfect. Jill, take care of yourself.”

“Thank you so much.”

She ended the call and drove out of the garage. Her apartment was fifteen minutes away. All she wanted was her bed.