Chasing My Shadow (6 page)

He sat there hyperventilating and staring at the scenery going by, but completely unseeing. She had also said his mail must have been forwarded on. On to where? She had seemed nice—and that guy who had called to him, he sounded as though he knew him pretty well. One question to either one of them could have helped a lot but….Darn, why couldn’t he have asked? If he could only get back to where he left his memory. He felt if people knew he couldn’t remember, they could tell him anything at all, and how would he know if it were really true? They could tell him he had agreed to buy their old jalopy, or mow their lawn, or…well just about anything. No, he couldn’t let anyone know he had lost his memory. They would know everything about him and he would know nothing about them—or even about himself. He sighed, and leaned back against the seat, pulled out the crumpled note and read it again. “S” for Selina. Of course it could be any number of things but…, it certainly looked like a woman’s handwriting. He sighed, leaned back against the seat, and concentrated on the poles, signs, and palms as they passed.

After they had driven a while the driver asked, “Is there any reason why someone in a large black sedan should be following you?”

Stone gasped and sat up quickly to look back. “Following me? No, I shouldn’t think so. I just arrived in town. Are you sure he is following this cab?”

As the driver kept glancing in the rear-view mirror he finally said, “He surely was following this cab, but right now a whole line behind has been detoured off and there seems to be a police car there. I’m pretty sure that….Yeah, he’s gone. Maybe he wasn’t deliberately following us, but he was taking every turn we were and if anyone got between us he got in back of us again.”

After Stone was back in his hotel room, he felt relieved. He had accomplished something today anyway. He had found out that amnesia victims usually got their memory back, and he had met two people who seemed to like him. It bothered him that someone might have been following the cab he was in today, but was very thankful that they had lost him before they got back to the Baltimore. If he had his memory back, would he have an idea of who might be following him? But, he reassured himself, maybe it was the cab driver who was being followed.

Suddenly he remembered the two pieces of mail he had tucked in his back pocket, and he snatched them out and ripped each one open. The first one was a receipt for the deposit he had made to his money market of that $20,000. The second he noticed had no return address, and he quickly slid the letter out. This was in the same hand writing as the note that the landlady had given him, and read, “
Tried to reach you by phone all day yesterday. What gives? There’s not much time left to make up your mind. You won’t regret it. I promise.
”
$
Stone sat staring at the note, then got out the other and compared the two. This dollar sign, or Selina, had obviously written the mailed note first, then tucked the other under the door fully expecting him to meet her some place.

As he sat in the dining room that night waiting for his order all he could think about was how he could find out anything? I don’t have a permanent address—but that lady said my mail must have been forwarded on. If I do have another address I don’t know where it is. I know I should have asked that landlady if she knew my forwarding address—but I didn’t want to tell her that I can’t remember. I just feel helpless, and I don’t know how many people she might tell if I did confide in her. Darn! How could I have this complete blank for the last eleven years, but remember clearly the things that happened before that? I don’t know how or where I can get my mail. I must have some more mail somewhere and it might tell me something—but I feel sure I’ll get my memory back soon. And gosh, I miss Tara Lee.

When he got back to his room he looked again at the bank statement of his payments and deposits and realized that he had paid an electric as well as a telephone bill from that address in June, so it seemed as though he should be getting more mail, certainly bills. This thing was getting more than he could handle, then he thought of what that nurse had said about getting his memory back and decided he might start remembering any time now. No one would have to know then that he had ever lost his memory. At least he knew if he changed his mind he could easily go back to Malsheba Road and ask that landlady if she had his forwarding address—but that would be a last resort. He might start remembering soon.

What was bothering him the most was that landlady mentioning Selina. She knew her, but that didn’t mean he was married to her. He felt sure he couldn’t be. If he had been married to her, wouldn’t the woman have asked right off about where she was instead of calling it out as an after thought? But he didn’t like the familiarity of this woman’s notes to him. His other worry of where that money came from was frustrating him, as it had been ever since he had found out about it. If he could just find out something. He couldn’t get rid of the fear of what he would find out here.

That night he decided to call Tara Lee again. Just hearing her voice would make him feel better. He tried several times and got no answer, then on the fourth try he got her just as she had come in the door from shopping after getting through her shift.

“Where are you calling from?” she asked, delighted to hear from him.

“I’m at the Hotel Baltimore in Santa Baines.”

“Are you getting your business finished up so you can come back soon?”

“Well, some,” he said guardedly. Then hesitantly asked, “I’ve got a friend…you might know. How long does it take to get over amnesia? A friend of mine has…well, I was just wondering…and you being a nurse and all….”

“Sometimes very quickly if something triggers it. It usually takes a while and comes back gradually—or occasionally all in a rush, but it almost always comes back. What happened to your friend?”

“I don’t…I think….But it does always come back then?”

Tara Lee didn’t answer at once, then said, “Stone, would you like to have me come out there? You mentioned it when you called before.”

“I’ve still got a lot of things to straighten out and I don’t know if you’d….”

“Would you like me to come?” she asked again.

He gave a big sigh and said, “I guess that would be just about the best thing that could happen to me, but I’m not sure how it would work out if….”

“Then I’ll be out as soon as I can make arrangements and we’ll find out how it will work out, won’t we?”

“How long will it take to get ready?” he asked, excitedly.

“I’ll go chop chop,” she laughed, then quickly sobered. “Stone, don’t worry about the amnesia. It won’t last. How much have you forgotten? It’s you, isn’t it?”

He hesitated, then said in relief, “I guess I didn’t really want to hide things from you, and you’re right. I’ve found out Colburgh isn’t home any more and everything is mixed up good. I hadn’t read anything or watched any TV because it made me dizzy and I found out just before I came out here that this is 1994 and…and I thought it was still 1983 and…and my home was out here. My store is gone and it’s now a cafe and….”

“Oh, Stone, I’m so sorry. You said the Baltimore at Santa Baines?”

“Yes, are you sure you want to do this?”

“Never more sure about anything in my life. “I’ll wrap things up here as soon as possible and be on my way. And don’t worry about losing those years. They’ll come back. It’s more common than you know. It may come back gradually or in a rush. It can happen either way. I’ll see you as soon as I can get there.”

After they had said goodby he felt as though a great weight had slid off his shoulders. It was amazing how much better he felt after talking with her. She, as well as the nurse he had talked with when he called that doctor’s number, had told him he would get his memory back. He would be remembering what he had been doing those missing years. He had been so shocked that he hadn’t even thought farther than the fact that eleven years were gone and he didn’t know what he had been doing. Now he could hope again. Mostly he was just so happy to think that Tara Lee had wanted to be with him. She had suggested it. He was walking on air.

CHAPTER 6
 

That night he was relaxed, went to bed early, and slept better than at any time since he woke up in the hospital, then suddenly about 4:00 A.M. he sat up quickly, his heart beating fast. He had been dreaming and a strange woman was saying, “Don’t be silly, Stone. Of course you know me—I’m your wife.” Nothing else about the dream was clear, and neither were the features of the woman. She seemed to be surrounded by fog. It was only a dream of course, but there was no more sleep for him.

It was the next day toward evening before Tara Lee arrived by cab and it was a happy reunion. “I’m so glad you called me,” she said, “and especially glad that you finally confided in me—and that I’m with you.”

“And you don’t know how happy I am that you wanted to come,” he said as he hugged her. Finally she flopped into a chair and asked, “Now then, what is the first thing on the agenda?”

He sat down in the other chair at the opposite end of a small table and sighed. “I guess to find out where my permanent home is out here. It seems I had moved out of the Malsheba Rd. place, the address on my bank papers.”

“Then where is your mail being forwarded?”

“I don’t have a clue,” he said.

“Well,” said Tara Lee, “why don’t you tell me everything you can remember, and we’ll go on from there? I mean really start at the begin-ning—like before you were married.”

“The very beginning? Well, I’ll…what do you call it when you squeeze it up? Oh, yeah, synopsize it, and you can ask any questions you think of. I’ll start way back if that’s what you want.” He paused, then said, “I don’t remember my parents and I was brought up by my grandmother. I met Millie in ‘73, the same year my grandmother died, and we got married the next year. We were both working in summer theater. Not much money but we liked it, and it was a living. We were really happy. Two years later she was diagnosed with leukemia and…that part…I don’t want to get….Anyway, a year later she was gone.”

“I know, Stone. It has to be hard. Just go on, if you can.”

“After Millie died I was just lost and wandered around from place to place, working a while then moving on.”

“Where did you and Millie live?” she asked. “Apparently not in Colburgh?”

“No, in the city—New York city.”

“Is her family there?”

“As far as I know her parents still live in England—nice people. We went there for our honeymoon and to visit them and we planned on going back but never seemed to be able to get away, then she got sick. Her parents came to New York and stayed the last few months of her life, then left for England after the funeral but I haven’t seen or heard from them since. Of course I’ve been constantly moving around since then.” He paused, then said, “I don’t remember now how I happened to end up in the little town of Colburgh, New York, but I met Jerry in a restaurant there.”

“He’s the one who wanted you to be Best Man at his wedding?” “Yeah, he hadn’t been there very long either. He had broken up with a girl and just happened to end up there too. Anyway, I was wandering down the street one day and thinking of moving on again when I saw the store for rent. I thought of my grandmother showing me my grandfather’s collection of electric trains with the winding tracks, stations, and houses, and she said it was surprising the things some people collected. She let me play with the trains when I got older but would never part with them. I guess that was what gave me the idea of a collectibles store.”

“And you put the trains in your store?”

“Oh, no. Millie and I kept them until she got sick, then I had to sell them to help pay the medical bills. She never knew that, and I’m sure my grandmother would forgive me. I was amazed at the responses I got from the ad to sell that train set—and more amazed at the offers. I soon realized that I could have got at least twice what I asked. Anyway, I had saved a little money and found out the rent on the store was reasonable enough so I felt I could handle it. While fixing up the store I started putting ads in papers stating that I could find collectible items for people.”

“Had you had any experience in hunting down items like that?”

“No, just in selling the trains, but I knew it could be done and it kind of gave me a reason to start something—anything, rather than continuing to wander. I had heard of people scouring yard sales, flea markets, and antique stores to find whatever they were collecting, and thought if I advertised for these things I could find the people who had what they wanted. I started getting a lot more calls than I had expected. I answered every call and letter explaining that some things took longer than others to find and I would get back to them. Then I would advertise for the items they wanted. It was a lot of bookkeeping and work, but it kept me busy and that was what I wanted.”

“Jerry started coming in and he was really interested in the collectibles I had, and I finally felt I knew him well enough to ask him if he’d like to tend the store while I did some buying instead of relying entirely on telephone calls and mailings. It worked out great too, and we got to be good friends.”

Tara Lee was listening carefully and absorbing every detail looking for clues. Stone continued, “Jerry had rented an old house and since there wasn’t much room over the store he invited me to move in there. Said there was plenty of room—and there sure was. We rattled around in that old house for a couple of months then Jerry got the idea that if my landlord approved, he could open up another wall over the store and make a nice apartment up there. That way he could live there too and it would help him, me, and the landlord. So we ended up living over the store after all. It was sure easier to heat than that old house.

“I guess that’s about all. Jerry met this girl and they were planning to get married so he would be moving out soon, but still planned to work with me for a while anyway. The very last thing I remember was getting ready for that last trip. “I was ready to leave and was at my desk making out a list of things to look for. I remember a woman by the name of Mrs. Sandolls calling the store from Nashville, Tennessee to ask if we had any unusual carousels as she wanted….Oh, yes, that should go on the list.”