Chasing Olivia (Trace + Olivia #2) (37 page)

She frowned. “At least try one on.” She waved a single finger in front of my face. I smacked her hand down.

“Not happening,” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not wasting my time trying on a dress I’ll never wear.”

“You suck,” she stuck her tongue out at me.

Wanting to get the topic off of me, I asked, “So what happened with Luca?”

“I decided to stop being an idiot and tell him how I really feel…I told him everything.”

“And by everything, you mean?” I prompted.

“Olivia,” her hands tightened on the steering wheel, “this is something difficult for me to talk about. It’s why I push people away, and it’s why I fucked random guys for like…ever.”

“Okay,” I swallowed thickly, preparing myself for what she had to say.

“God, I don’t want to tell you this,” she kept her eyes on the road and away from me.

“Avery,” I spoke her name softly, “you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I’m not going to hate you if you keep secrets.” Even this many years later I had never told Avery about my Live List. Before I met Trace, I had been embarrassed about it and I knew if I told her she’d try to cross everything off in one night. But once I met Trace and confessed my list to him, it sort of became
our
thing and I didn’t want to share it with anyone else.

“No,” she shook her head. “I need to tell you. But you have to understand something…no one but Luca knows this. It’s taken me a long time to admit that what happened to me was real. But it happened and it sucks. But you move on. Talking about it…makes me feel better,” she sighed deeply. “My only hope is that you don’t look at me differently once I tell you.”

“Gosh, Avery. Look at what I went through with finding out about my real dad and then after Aaron tried to kill me. I can handle it,” I told my best friend with the utmost sincerity.

“It seems weird telling you this in the car,” she forced a laugh. “But I don’t have a choice now.”

“You always have a choice, Avery. You can wait.”

She took a deep breath to steady herself and continued like I hadn’t said anything. “You remember how I told you growing up that my parents were gone a lot?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, my brow furrowing.

“When my parents left on their extended business trips and whatnot, my dad’s sister and her husband would stay at the house with us. They couldn’t have kids so they said they didn’t mind,” she began to tear up and my heart clenched. “One time, when I was eleven, my uncle said he was going to take me up to bed and read me a story. They always read a story to me, but that night Ray didn’t read me a story.”

“What did he do, Avery?” I asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

She turned her head towards me slightly before her eyes flicked back to the road.

“He pushed me on my bed and he raped me. I screamed and tried to fight him, but he held me down and nothing stopped him.” She was crying now and her teeth were clenched.

“Didn’t your aunt hear you scream? Your brothers?” I gasped, horrified by what she told me. I had known there had to be
something
to make Avery the way she was. But I’d always assumed it had to do with abandonment issues from being left by her parents all the time. Never, in a million years, had I ever suspected something like this.

She shook her head. “They were all in the basement, watching a movie. No one heard…unfortunately.”

I didn’t know what to say. Frankly, there was nothing I
could
say. I didn’t understand how anyone could do something like that another person, let alone a child.

“Avery,” I started and words failed me.

“It’s okay,” she looked over at me. “For a long time I blocked it from my mind. After that, I put up a fit and my parents didn’t ask them to watch us anymore. Actually, shortly before graduation I saw them. It was the first time I had seen Ray since he’d—” She paused, then forced the word out through clenched teeth, “—raped me. Up until then, it had been easy for me to pretend it hadn’t happened. But seeing him sent all those memories rushing back at me and I felt so
helpless
. I lashed out at you and Luca, because you’re the two people I care about the most,” she swallowed thickly. “I was really mean to him and so we broke up. He told me he’d be waiting when I decided to tell him what the fuck my problem was. So…I finally told him. If I expect to have a future with him, he needed to know everything.” She glanced over at me and it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders by telling me.

“Oh, Avery.” I desperately wanted to reach over and hug my best friend but since we were driving that wasn’t exactly the best idea.

“It’s okay, Livie. I knew I needed to tell you, so you would understand why I was being so distant. Seeing Ray made me want to close myself off from everyone and I’m sorry about that. It’s the only way I know how to deal with things…that and fucking guys. But I’m a new woman now,” she squared her shoulders, turning into a parking lot. I looked up, surprised to see that we were already in Tysons. I guessed we’d been talking longer than I thought. “Luca changed me…no, that’s not right.
He
didn’t change me. But the love I feel for him did.”

She parked the car and I could finally hug her.

“What was that for?” She asked when I pulled away.

Wiping my tears away, I answered, “You needed a hug.”

“I did?”

“You definitely did,” I forced a laugh.

“I don’t want me telling you this to change things between us,” she stared at her hands so she didn’t have to look at me. “I’m still me, Livie.”

“I know you are,” I took her hand, trying to offer as much comfort as I possibly could. “I’m glad you told me, but I’m sorry you had to go through that. No one should ever have to suffer through a tragedy like that alone. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, and that’s fine, but if it ever gets too hard you know you can come to me. I love you, Avery.” I hugged her again. “You may be slightly crazy,” I laughed, wiping away a few stray tears, “but you’re my best friend.”

“I love you too, Livie.” Her chest shook as she fought tears. Shaking her head, she said, “Let’s find you a wedding dress.”

Leave it to Avery to be the one to change the subject.

I put on a brave face, knowing I needed to be strong for her…besides she’d kick my ass if I ever looked at her with pity.

I followed her into the fancy upscale store. Everything was white with shiny chrome accents. It kind of reminded me of a museum, where you could look but not touch. I frowned, wondering if I was really going to be able to find a dress I liked here. I mean, I knew they had loads of beautiful dresses, which was obvious from the mannequins scattered about. But would any of them be
me?
I stopped in front of a dress that looked so heavy a crane probably had to be used to lift it. And oh my goodness, it had feathers coming out of the back. Feathers!

“Uh, Avery,” I called out, “I think we should go somewhere else.”

A hastily cleared throat had me turning around to face Avery and a saleswoman. Oh crap. “Oh, um, I mean, the dresses are lovely, but you know…a bit much.” I blushed, wishing I could ram my fist in my mouth so I’d stop talking.

“Lily told me you’d be coming,” the sales woman said. Her dark hair was pulled back into a severe bun, reminding me of a schoolteacher from many years ago, and I feared she might pull out a ruler to smack me. “She mentioned you wouldn’t like some of the more…outlandish dresses we sell. I have a room set up for you with some dresses I’ve already pulled.”

“Oh…great. Are they…” I looked over my shoulder at the feather Cinderella style ball gown, “not so…big and feathery?”

She laughed and it softened her features. “You’re funny,” she reached for my hand and began pulling me along behind her.

“I wasn’t trying to be,” I mumbled.

She dragged me into a large room and once Avery was inside she closed the door.

“I also have some dresses laid aside for your Maid of Honor,” she wrinkled her nose at Avery’s shirt. “As well as your mother and Lily.”

“Are they coming?” I looked between the saleslady and Avery.

“Later,” Avery answered.

“Oh, and how rude of me. My name is Louise,” the saleswoman held out a hand.

“Olivia,” I took it, giving it a light shake.

“I hope we can find the perfect dress for you and make all your wedding dreams come true,” she smiled.

I tried to hide my laugh at her words. Avery shot me a glare, which made it even harder not to snicker.

“Come, come,” Louise took me over to a rack of gowns. “Browse through these and see if anything catches your eye.”

I flipped through the dresses, surprised that most of them were fairly normal looking. Lily definitely did tell her what I liked. I would have to thank her for that later.

“Let’s try this one,” I pulled out a dress with a small train with antique lace and short sleeves.

“Seriously, Livie,
that’s
the one you choose?” Avery wrinkled her nose, glaring at the dress.

“It’s pretty and I like it,” I held the dress close to my body.

“It looks like something my great-grandma would have gotten married in,” she scoffed. She pushed herself up from he chair and began to look through the rack. She pulled out a tight fitting mermaid style gown with a low neckline. “You should wear something like this. It’s sexy.”

I rolled my eyes. It amazed me that Avery could confess something to traumatizing to me one second, and be talking about sexy wedding dresses the next. I wanted to talk to her about it more, but I knew that would probably never happen. Avery had never been one to sit around and talk about her feelings.

“Yes, so while we’re saying my vows my boobs can pop out and Trace can get a preview of what’s to come,” I said sarcastically.

Avery rolled her eyes and put the dress back on the rack. “It’s not like he hasn’t seen them before.”

“And I’m sure the rest of the guests would enjoy the peep show as well?”

“Whatever. Don’t try it. But at least pick something not so…grandma-ish. You’re twenty-two, Livie. Act like it.”

“I’m trying it on,” I turned my back on her and handed the dress to Louise who was currently pretending that she hadn’t been listening to our conversation.

Louise helped me into the dress and onto a raised platform. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, marveling at the fact that I was wearing a freakin’ wedding dress. I knew we were already married, but seeing myself in a dress made it even more real. I smoothed my hands down the lacy fabric and turned so I could see the back of the dress. It was beautiful and I loved it, despite Avery frowning in the mirror’s reflection, but I knew it wasn’t the one. I wanted to take Trace’s breath away the first time he saw me in my wedding gown, and I knew this dress wasn’t the one to do that.

“This isn’t the one,” I shook my head at my reflection and stepped off the platform.

Louise unzipped the dress and hung it back up.

I tried on an A-line style next but thought it was a bit too fancy and big for an outdoor wedding. Oh gosh—I really hoped I didn’t get as hot as I did at my mom’s wedding. That had sucked.

“Do you have anything…really simple…but pretty?”

Louise laughed at my vague description. “Let me go check the stockroom and see if we still have the one I’m thinking of. I’ll be right back,” she excused herself from the room.

“If I was getting married, I’d wear something like that,” Avery pointed to a dress in the corner of the room on a mannequin. It was on the risqué side with a low-cut top and high slit on the side.

“That’s an interesting dress,” I replied. I wanted to tell her it was slutty, but I thought that would be rude so I kept my mouth shut. Besides, she wasn’t getting married…yet. I could talk her out of something like that when the time came.

Louise returned, closing the door behind her. “We still have it and it’s in your size. We might need to shorten it a bit if you like this one.”

“Let’s see it,” I smiled kindly.

Louise held the dress up and my jaw dropped. It was exactly what I had seen in my head. Everything about it was
me
.

“Oh my,” I gasped, reaching out to finger the fabric.

“Do you like it?” Louise dared to ask.

“It’s beautiful,” I gasped.

She smiled widely and helped me into the dress. When I looked in the mirror, tears sprung to my eyes. “This is my dress.” I spun around giddily. It fit my curves perfectly and didn’t swallow me whole like some dresses. It was flowy with a small train and strapless. It had a sweetheart neckline that showed off a little bit of my chest but I didn’t feel like I was going to fall out of it. The top also had really pretty beaded detailing. I felt like a fairy princess in it.

“Excellent!” Louise clapped her hands together. “Let me go grab one of the seamstresses so we can bring this up a bit,” she pointed to the hemline I was bound to trip over. “Would you like a veil? Headband?”

“No,” I shook my head.

Louise hadn’t been gone long when the door cracked open.

“Mom!” I exclaimed, hopping off the platform and running towards her. I hugged her tightly. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her until now. “Look at you!” I gasped at the size of her stomach.

She placed a hand over the bulge. “Four more months until little Abigail joins the family.”

I paused, repeating her words in my head. “Abigail?” I said hesitantly. “The baby’s a girl?!”

“Yeah, another little girl,” she smiled as I hugged her again.

“I can’t believe this,” I gasped. “Abigail is such a pretty name too.”

“We’re going to call her Abby,” she explained, hugging a teary eyed Avery. Obviously this was news to her too.

“Hi, Lily,” I smiled at my mother-in-law as she entered the room.

“Hey gorgeous,” she chuckled. “Oh my God! That dress is beautiful!” Lily exclaimed, looking the dress up and down, and then forcing me to turn around so she could see the back. “Please tell me this is the one you’re getting. It’s exquisite.”

“Yeah, this is the one,” I spun around in circles so the dress fanned around me.

“It’s so gorgeous, Liv,” my mom gasped. “You couldn’t have picked a better dress.” Avery would probably have liked to argue that I
could
have found something better, but she kept her mouth shut, resolving to the fact that I wasn’t going to wear anything scandalous.