Chasing Payne (9 page)

“Open the door, Lora.” Chase breathed in deeply, summoning the calm he needed to deal with his mate.

“Go away.” Her voice was a muffled sob behind the locked door. “Please, Chase. Just leave me alone.”

He slammed his palm against the wall. Like hell he was leaving her. He had sensed the animal breaking free, overriding her will. It was wild and untamed, and if she didn't satiate it soon—
Dangerous
. “Open the door before I break it down.”

There was a long pause, and then the shuffle of feet. The lock clicked and she opened the door.

When she pushed past him, she was in control again, but her face was chalk white and she was trembling violently. He tried to wrap his arms around her, but she jerked back.

He went rigid, his animal snarling at her refusal to accept him. God, she was so stubborn. She needed him, and yet she continued to push him away.

“Tell me what's going on.” He forced the words through clenched teeth.

“I can't be around you. It's—” Her breath hitched, eyes glossy with unshed tears. “I'm not strong enough.” She shook her head and sat down heavily on the bed. Trembling, she pulled her knees to her chest. “I—I can't keep it contained.”

“Because you're not supposed to.” He knelt in front of her and grasped her hands. He could sense the anguish slicing at her soul. “Not like this.”

She blinked back tears, and looked down at their conjoined hands, her eyes haunted by some distant memory. “You don't understand.”

“Then tell me.” He cupped her cheek in his palm, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Make me understand.”

He saw the moment she gave in, caved under the weight of her burden. She let out a weak, shaky breath and her shoulders slumped forward. Her hand reached out, fingers gently tracing the outline of his jaw as she studied him. The simple gesture made his chest tighten.

“Do you remember the time when Brody and Callan found the wasp nest down by the river?” she asked.

Chase's jaw tightened at the memory. Her brothers had knocked the nest out of a tree. When the wasps started to swarm, they had taken off, leaving her behind. He'd heard her screams a mile away. At least that's what he'd claimed at the time. In retrospect, he knew there was no way he could have heard her from his backyard.

“I found you in the woods. Huddled in a ball. Your face and arms were swollen with welts.” He had taken his shirt off, despite the wasps attacking him, and wrapped it around her small body. She had stopped crying the instant he'd picked her up and cradled her to his chest. He carried her home, feeling an overwhelming sense of protectiveness—A feeling that had never gone away.

“You saved me.” Her voice was thick with emotion. “That's the day—the day I knew you were my mate.”

Chase frowned. “You couldn't have been more than nine or ten.”

She blinked rapidly and bit her lip. “It didn't matter. I knew. I felt it deeper than anything I'd ever experienced. A primal instinct, that drew me to you.”

His lion paced and he shook his head, aware of the significance of her words. People didn't fall in love at ten years old, and they definitely didn't find their mates. There was a reason why their animal nature stayed dormant until after puberty. If she had felt the awakening at such a young age, he wondered what affect it had on the bond between animal and woman.

He stood and began pacing the room.

All these years she'd kept this secret locked inside herself. She said she wasn't strong, but her actions proved otherwise.

He could feel her gaze on him, sense her slipping back inside herself. He stopped and looked at her. God, she was beautiful; but there was so much more to the woman, a depth he had never fully realized, never taken the time to get to know. He wondered if she had ever truly let anyone in, past the brave face she showed to the world.

In a single movement, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her off the bed and against him.

She shook her head against his chest and let out a long unsteady breath. “I'm sorry.”

“You became an obsession,” she whispered bleakly, trembling against his body. “Jenna warned me that I was too young to feel what I was feeling.”

Her sister was right. The hormonal changes associated with mating heat, combined with the ones released during puberty, could have proved to be a fatal combination.

She rested her head on his chest for a moment before pulling away, shaking her head. “Even before the incident, I had moments when I couldn't get control.”

His throat constricted at the pain that reflected in her voice. He inhaled slowly. “What incident?”

“The night of my prom.” Her breath hitched as she fought a sob. “You were there with Jacob.”

There was something in the tone of her voice that made him go cold from the inside out. He remembered that night. He'd ended up going home with Lora's music or art teacher. Fuck, he couldn't remember which one, but judging by Lora's expression, she remembered.

“I thought that if I could kiss you—just once, you would see that I was your mate. I drank a little too much. It was stupid, but I didn't care. All I cared about was—you.”

The aching emotion in her voice broke his heart. All he had ever wanted was to protect her. “I didn't know.”

She smiled sadly. “Would it have made a difference?”

He frowned, knowing that it probably wouldn't have. “What happened that night?”

“When I saw you with your tongue down Miss. Harrison's throat, I lost it.” She broke off painfully, swallowing tightly before continuing. “I didn't even try to control myself.” He could feel hysteria building inside her mind. He tightened his hold on her, wishing he could erase the memories, the pain that he was responsible for. “I let the lion take over…Completely.”

She pushed away, and he let his hands fall to his sides. Turning her back on him, she walked to the small window, staring out blankly at the traffic below.

“Jenna followed me. She saw me shift and run out into the forest behind the school. It's where I always went when I felt overwhelmed.” He couldn't bear the stark torment resonating through her voice. “She followed me and I…attacked her.”

Images of her nightmare flashed through his mind. Blood. Pain. A piercing wail that echoed above the trees.

“I almost killed her. If Hunter hadn't shown up, I don't know what would have happened.”

Hunter Syn. It was a name he hadn't heard in years. “But he did, and Jenna is fine.”

“You don't understand.” Her voice was soft, throbbing with the pent-up emotion she was fighting. She turned, her haunted gaze locking on him. “She was pregnant.”

 A chill rushed down his back as the full impact of her guilt slammed into him. 

She wrapped her arms around her chest and shivered. “She went into shock. Lost too much blood…and she lost the baby.”

He shoved his hands in his pocket and swallowed tightly. “Does Jacob know?”

“No.” Her eyes widened. “And you can't tell him. Please. If not for my sake, then for Jenna.”

“I don't understand how you kept this from your family.”

“It was right after we lost my dad. Mom was still grieving. There was so much going on. Hunter took care of Jenna until she healed. I wanted to tell, but she couldn't bare anyone knowing that she had been pregnant.” Her voice was low, steady, but he could hear the pain that backed each word. In their grief, her family had failed to see that Lora was self-destructing from the inside out, but there was no blame in her words—she took it all on herself. “You see why this will never work.”

He growled. “I understand now.”

“Good.” There was no anger in her voice, just weary acceptance.

“Let me finish. I understand why you've spent so many years subduing your animal, but it doesn't mean I'm going to let you continue to torture yourself.”

“Chase, don't—”

“We're going to fix this.”

“You can't fix what I did,” she snapped.

“No, you're right. But we can make sure it doesn't happen again.”

She squared her shoulders and drew in a ragged breath. “That's what I'm trying to do.”

“You really think walking away from me is going to keep your animal dormant?” He allowed the growl building in his chest to flow through his words.

She shook her head. “I have to try.”

“That's bullshit, and you know it.”

Two long strides and he pulled her towards him, fisting his fingers in her hair. She struggled, but he knew in her heart she didn't want to be released. She wanted him. Needed him. Just as he needed her. Nevertheless, he could still sense her desire to run, and it sent a shockwave of panic through his body. He couldn't lose her. He'd seen what that loss could do to a man. It shredded the soul. If she left, it would destroy them both.

“We're going to fix this. Whatever it takes. I won't leave you.”

He could see the hopes and fears that filled her. “Chase—”

He stopped her protest with a kiss. One hand cupped her neck as his tongue stroked her lips, parting them and allowing him to taste her. A soft whimper vibrated in her throat. She buried her hands in his hair, melting against his body.

A fierce surge of protectiveness assailed him. He would do everything in his power to keep her safe, to heal the animal she refused to face. He needed her to believe that he wanted her not just because of the mating hormone, but because she was a woman deserving to be loved.

She was his mate, and that wasn't going to change, no matter how much it scared him.

She couldn't fight him. Not when his lips pressed against hers, his tongue forcing its way between them, and his hands roamed desperately over her body.

“Chase.” His name came out as a plea, begging him to both stop and continue at the same time. She wanted to trust him. Wanted to believe he could help her, but how could she when she couldn't even trust herself?

She fought to take in enough air to clear her head, to get herself under control. His hands slid down her back, every touch and sensation stealing her strength to walk away.

He was like an inferno threatening to consume her, to push her over the edge. As long as she stayed away from him, she could survive it. But not when he was so close, when every nerve ending in her body screamed for his touch.

“Let me help you.” His breath caressed her neck as his head lowered, pushing her hair aside and raking his teeth over the mark he had given her. “Don't fight what we are. You're mine now. Nothing can change that.”

But something could. Austin had told her there was a way. A way to break the bond, to give them both a fresh start. A way to make sure her animal remained dormant. The thought of even the possibility that she could harm Chase the way she had hurt Jenna sent a chill racing down her spine. “I don't want to hurt you.”

“Then don't.” He cupped her face, and a sensual smile crossed his lips as he watched her through lowered lids. His blue eyes glittered with lust and emotion. “The only way you can hurt me is if you walk away.”

She shook her head. He was wrong. But she was torn between what was truth and what she wanted to be truth. Her hands clenched at his waist, holding tightly as she struggled for breath. Fresh, unshed tears burned her eyes, and she blinked them back. She loved him so freaking much, and it was destroying her. She had to get away before she destroyed him too.

As if sensing her ambivalence, he tightened his grip. One hand flattened on her back, the other knotted in her hair. His lips crashed down on hers, and his tongue swept into her mouth. His thick, hot erection pressed against her stomach. A tidal wave of pleasure rose inside her, sweeping through her fears.

Without breaking contact, he pulled his shirt over his head, and dropped it carelessly on the floor. She let her fingers roam over the hard, bronzed skin. His muscles tightened in response to her touch.  

She should be fighting him, running, doing anything but let him weaken her more.

“I need to touch you.” His voice was hard, raspy, almost guttural.

He gripped the seams of her shirt, pulling it off in a swift, easy movement. His gaze roamed hungrily over her body, and a low rumble vibrated from his throat. He pulled her close. His hard, bare chest pressed against her breasts, making her nipples harden.

She licked her lips. God, she wanted him. His scent drifted through the air. Spicy maleness mixed with the aroma of lust.

Her animal stirred, giving a low warning growl that brought her back to reality. She pushed on his chest, panic prickling down her spine. “I can't do this,” she whimpered, but even to her own ears, her protest sounded weak.

“The hell you can't.” His lips were hard, hungry as they took hers. He pinned her against the wall, lifting her against him and cupping her ass so she was straddling him. His fingers fisted in her hair, dragging her head back as his mouth nipped and sucked at her chin, her jaw, her neck.

“Chase.” Her hips writhed against his, and he drove his cock harder against her through the layers of fabric that separated them.

“You have too many fucking clothes on.”

Her fingers bit into his strong, wide shoulders as he lifted her and carried her to the bed. With a single motion, he swept the pile of clothes she had been folding onto the floor. He leaned over her, his expression savage as her laid her down.

His fingers skirted across her stomach, snapping the button of her pants. Slowly he pulled her jeans and panties off. His wild blue eyes held her, trapped under his gaze as he studied her. “So beautiful.”

Jerking his belt loose, he watched her with quiet intensity as he undressed. Rippling with muscle, his biceps and chest flexed with every slow seductive movement. His erection strained between his thighs, long, heavy and thick.

He moved onto the bed, between her thighs, and lowered his mouth to hers. She moaned into his lips, and bucked under him, as she felt his cock nudge at her sensitive opening.

He chuckled, but his expression was feral in its intensity. “Not yet, sweetheart.”

She trembled as his hand slid between her thighs. His fingers parted her, sliding through the damp slit before circling the sensitive bud.

Denying him was beyond her strength. Beyond her ability to turn away from the pleasure of his touch. 

“Please,” she begged, running her hands through his dark hair, needing so much more than what he was giving her.

His fingers danced along her skin. His tongue made a trail along her collarbone, down between her breasts, closing his mouth around her nipple. It tightened and he flicked his tongue against the hard sensitive nub.

Her senses were on overload. The sight of his mouth sucking her breasts, the feel of his fingers between her legs. His rich musky scent permeating the air around them. She could still taste him as she ran her tongue over her lips. It was too much.

His eyes blazed a deep searing blue when he looked up at her. “What do you want, Lora?”

“You.” Her body jerked as his fingers drove deeper into her folds. A hiss of satisfaction coming between her teeth. “I want all of you.”

His lips slammed down on hers. She cried into the kiss, her tongue tangling with his as her hips arched to meet him and he slid inside her, slow and deep.

“Fuck, you feel so good.”

She moaned in agreement.

Wrapping her legs around his hips, she pulled him towards her. Her fingers gripped his shoulders and back as his cock penetrated her with heavy lunges. She rocked beneath him, her legs rising to encase all of him. There was no control. Just pure primal desire edging her on.

With each thrust, he watched her, his expression filled with raw emotion. She closed her eyes, unable to accept the affection and possessiveness she saw in his gaze.

“Look at me.” His tone held an edge of something dark, demanding, almost dangerous. She opened her eyes under heavy lids and locked onto his intense gaze. “You're mine.”

His lips and cock possessed her, stroking in unison. Sensations whipped inside of her, brewing like a storm she couldn't control. She would have screamed for more if she had any breath, but she could only find enough oxygen to whimper under his long deep strokes.

Pulsing flames shuddered through her as she fought to breathe. She clawed at his back, as exhilaration surged through her, urging him to drive harder and faster into her sensitive channel.

Every muscle in her body tightened. Her head tilted back, and she shuddered with an orgasm that tore violently through her. His release came in strong spurts, and she screamed out his name with the last wave of ecstasy. 

He slumped over her, resting his forehead against hers, and another long shudder worked through his body. “So fucking perfect,” he whispered, the words fluttering over her ear.

Her entire body was limp, spent, and even her animal seemed satiated and content.

How could she run from this? From him?

Maybe she didn't have to.